Posts Tagged ‘Cars’

Trafficking In Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio’s been catching some flack lately over his traffic-safety initiative. It seems he doesn’t practice what he preaches.

Trafficking In Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bill de Blasio warns New York folk
To drive carefully. Safety’s no joke.
Yet the rules take a hike
In Bill’s auto. Did Mike
Ever guzzle a giant-sized Coke?

Note from Mad Kane: For those who don’t follow New York City politics, former Mayor Mike Bloomberg (whom de Blasio criticizes at every opportunity) is famous/infamous for banning super-sized sodas.

A Driving Attack On Corporate Personhood (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

I can’t help admiring the audacity and creativity of this fellow’s Citizens United-inspired legal argument:

A driver in San Rafael, California is attempting to appeal a traffic citation for driving alone in a High Occupancy Vehicle lane. Jonathan Frieman and his attorney, Ford Greene, argue that since Frieman had corporate incorporation papers in his car when he was stopped by an officer, he was actually carpooling at the time…

He’s sworn to chase the case all the way to the Supreme Court should the first trial not go his way in an attempt to “expose the impracticality of corporate personhood.”

A Driving Attack On Corporate Personhood (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m not driving alone, said the guy
In the HOV lane, and here’s why:
Corp’rate personhood rules,
And my corp files, you fools,
Are right here. My defense — you must buy!

Romney’s Lies Are Jeep (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 30th, 2012

Mitt Romney keeps repeating a claim that he knows to be false: Both in speeches and ads, he asserts that Chrysler’s moving all Jeep production to China. In truth, Chrysler’s adding 2200 Jeep employees in Toledo, Ohio and Detroit, Michigan.

But what’s a little thing like the truth, when you’re trying to deceive your way into the White House?

Romney’s Lies Are Jeep (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Romney’s China-Jeep ad is a lie.
Yet he keeps doubling down on it. Why?
Cuz he’s paid little price
For his lies. That device
Gets him votes. Bid democracy “Bye!”

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Texting?

Monday, August 31st, 2009

Brace yourself for a large dose of libertarian outrage: Texting while driving may soon be outlawed.

An organization of state highway safety officials on Monday plans to call for a ban on texting while driving, joining a growing chorus of legislators and safety advocates endorsing such a policy.

The group, the Governors Highway Safety Association, whose members are appointed by state governors to lead highway safety agencies, said it adopted the policy in light of a growing body of research showing the increased crash risk posed by texting motorists.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Texting?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you text while you drive, you’re insane.
You’re a hazard like snow, ice, and rain.
And if govs have their way,
You will soon have to say:
“BRB, AFK, must refrain.”

(If my last line needs translating, here’s a chat and text message abbreviation dictionary.)

Related Posts: Multi-Task Madness; Pedestrian Plea; Multitasking Mania; and Contending With Time

Bankrupt Values

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

Republicans have no shortage of things to fulminate about.  One of their favorites?  The General Motors bankruptcy:

Bankrupt Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An auto co known as GM
In the past was considered a gem.
It’s in bankruptcy now.
Will that hurt? Yes, and how!
But the GOP’s goal? Blame the Dem!

(You can find my lighter car humor columns and limericks here.)

D.C. Snow Job

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

Life in Washington, D.C. must be great! Otherwise, the D.C. Council would surely have better things to do than passing laws that require drivers to remove snow from their cars.

I’m not kidding. The D.C. Council has “unanimously approved emergency legislation that will require drivers to remove frozen snow and ice from their vehicles.”

But the good news is there’s no fine … yet … just a warning. A last minute amendment eliminated the fine “until a hearing can be held and council members can study laws in other jurisdictions.”

I love “Nanny State” laws, don’t you?

D.C. Snow Job
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I am guessing D.C. is crime free,
And that cops there are bored as can be.
How else to explain
A new law that’s insane:
Auto-snow is illegal debris.