Archive for the ‘Constitution Humor’ Category

A Plea Deal For Donald? Don’t Even Think About It! (Limerick)

Friday, August 11th, 2023

Headlines like this drive me nuts: “Is It Possible Trump Will Strike a Plea Deal to Avoid Prison?”

A plea deal for Trump? That’s just mad!
Speculation like that’s simply sad.
Any pact he might make,
He would instantly break!
Trump’s a slippery snake of a cad.

Whining For Time (Limerick)

Monday, August 7th, 2023

“Trump’s defense needs more time!” That’s the plea
From John Lauro, last week in DC.
But the judge should be tough,
Cuz oddly enough
John had time for “full Ginsburg” TV.

Smith v. Trump (Limerick)

Friday, August 4th, 2023

Though Donald’s the lowest of low,
His infamy slide’s been too slow.
But the courts are all humming,
And justice is coming;
Trump’s finally battling a pro.

Donald Trump’s Finally Trumped (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

Another indictment’s been filed,
And Donald’s both anxious and riled
And undoubtedly frightened.
The vise has been tightened,
And law shall prevail! (“Will be wild!”)

Deal? Or NO Deal? (Limerick)

Monday, May 29th, 2023

This confession will make me look mad,
But I simply can’t help being sad
That a debt deal is close,
Cuz it’s time for a dose
Of the 14th Amendment. (My bad?)

Open Limerick To Joe Biden

Tuesday, May 23rd, 2023

The 14th Amendment is clear,
And the time to take action is here.
Quash the “ceiling” charade:
Our debts must be paid!
Kick extortionist pols in the rear!

Limerick Ode To Solidarity

Monday, May 1st, 2023

We the Dems must show full solidarity
To counter the loathsome barbarity
Of Republican stances,
Whose fright’ning advances
Account for this lack of hilarity.

Flag-Hugger Haiku

Monday, December 5th, 2022

Flag-hugger Donald
says suspend Constitution–
GOP pols shrug.

Elon’s Musky Madness (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 26th, 2022

There’s a new Social Media threat
Making fans of democracy fret:
Under Musk, Trumpy lies
And misinfo will rise;
A calamitous “Net” blow — net-net.

Political Haiku Trio 2

Saturday, January 1st, 2022

A resolution
for GOPers to try:
Stop Being Such Dicks!

Nixing worthy laws
To preserve filibuster?
Hope for us busted.

Donald Trump invents
Conditional Endorsement:
“Avenge me, or else!”

Political Haiku Trio 1

Friday, December 31st, 2021

Is Joe President?
That depends on who you ask.
Democracy weeps.

Right-wing Justices:
“When we like what the State does,
States’ Rights must prevail.”

If the unvaxxed die,
And allies don’t believe it,
Are they really dead?

Trump Booed At World Series Game Five (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 29th, 2019

I couldn’t resist writing a 2-verse limerick about Trump’s ball game boos:

Donald Trump’s unaccustomed to boos;
He’s protected from anti-Trump views.
But a ball game affords
No shelter from hordes
Of folks who don’t follow his cues.

The World Series (Game Five) featured booing
And “lock him up!” chants — worth-pursuing —
All directed at Trump
Who sat on his rump
And glowered, free speech his undoing.

That Pesky Emoluments Clause (Limerick)

Monday, December 3rd, 2018

Headline: “DC, Md. officials ready with subpoenas in Trump hotel case

The emoluments case marches on
With subpoenas to prove Donald’s con.
May the DC’s A.G.
And Maryland’s be
A success v. our President/Don.

Trump V. Chief Justice Roberts (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

Headline: “Trump Resumes Feud with Chief Justice”

Though the Donald can carp, bash, and mock,
He will find he lacks power to block
Or to fire this man:
Justice Roberts. Can’t ban
The Chief Justice. Trump’s in for a shock.

Unconstitutional Stench of Whitaker Appointment (Limerick)

Monday, November 19th, 2018

Headline: “Senate Democrats Sue to Block Whitaker Appointment”

Will a judge block Matt Whitaker’s rise
To Acting A.G.? I surmise
His appointment’s unlawful–
Unspeakably awful…
But just fine in Trump-bootlicker eyes.

Trump v. Ryan

Wednesday, October 31st, 2018

Headline: “Trump Bashes Paul Ryan Over Birthright Citizenship”

The Donald is having a fight
With Paul Ryan, and Ryan is right.
I’m in need of a breather;
Agreeing with either
Is painfully draining. Good night!

Blockhead Donald’s Failed Blockade (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2018

Headline: “Trump can’t block users on Twitter, federal judge rules”

Poor Trump! How he hates to be mocked
By mean tweets! So he angrily blocked
The accounts of those writers,
Who sued cuz they’re fighters,
And won. Snowflake Donald is focked.

Words Matter (Limerick)

Thursday, March 16th, 2017

Donald Trump’s been rebuked once again:

For the second time in two months, two federal judges on Wednesday refused to allow President Trump to impose a travel ban, citing his campaign rhetoric as evidence of an improper desire to prevent Muslims from entering the United States.

Remember when GOP chatter
Taunted Dems with the sentence: “Words matter!”?
Yet it’s rare that they balk
At the Donald’s loose talk…
Which has flattened his bans with a clatter.

Trump’s Trademark Quid Pro Quo? (Limerick)

Saturday, March 11th, 2017

Guess who just got preliminary approval for 38 new trademarks in China — applications green-lighted with unusual speed, according to a Hong Kong intellectual property consultant.

Chinese trademarks that Donald has sought
Were approved. Seems high office has bought
Trump the branding he’s seeking–
Emolument-reeking!
But to cronies, alas, it means mean naught.

Could The Birthers Be Right About Cruz? (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 12th, 2016

How ironic! According to Harvard law professor Laurence Tribe, the very type of constitutional “originalist” judge that Ted Cruz says he’d appoint to the U.S. Supreme Court, is the very sort of judge who’d deem Cruz unqualified to be president by reason of his Canadian birthplace.

Trump’s Birther attack on Ted Cruz
Seemed, at first, like some dumb Donald news.
But a judge of the sort
Ted Cruz likes would retort:
“Call Cruz ‘natural born?’ I refuse!”

Here’s Tribe, as quoted by The Guardian:

“…the kind of judge Cruz says he admires and would appoint to the supreme court – an ‘originalist’ who claims to be bound by the historical meaning of the constitution’s terms at the time of their adoption – Cruz wouldn’t be eligible because the legal principles that prevailed in the 1780s and 90s required that someone be born on US soil to be a ‘natural born’ citizen.”

“Even having two US parents wouldn’t suffice for a genuine originalist. And having just an American mother, as Cruz did, would clearly have been insufficient at a time that made patrilineal descent decisive…”