Archive for the ‘Constitution Humor’ Category
Friday, June 28th, 2013
Ohio State Sen. Nina Turner’s proposed bill regulating men’s reproductive health inspired this multi-verse limerick:
A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Republican men who insist
On controlling gals’ bodies, we’re pissed.
Since what’s good for the goose
(It’s plain to deduce)
Suits the gander, I’ve drawn up this list:
Viagra henceforth is restricted
To those who can prove they’re afflicted
Via sex partner swearing
You’re impotent, sharing
Your plight through oath uncontradicted.
You must also sex therapy seek
To help you reach sexual peak.
And we’ll force you to take
A stress test, you rake,
And prove that your heart isn’t weak.
In addition, your doc must advise you
About celibacy and apprise you
It’s a “viable choice.”
Yes your doc must give voice
To your options, cuz some may surprise you.
Only then, will the state let your doc
Prescribe any meds for your cock.
After counsel advising
Of side effects rising
From ED pills — nothing to mock.
From then on, you’ll be monitored too
To make sure that your heart ain’t askew.
You’ll be checked and re-tested.
The state is invested
In protecting you guys when you screw.
If you think that such regs are intrusive,
Insulting, and even abusive,
All these rules don’t compare
To what women must bear:
Female freedom is gravely elusive.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Birth Control Limerick, ED, Erectile Dysfunction, Feminism, Feminist Limerick, Gender Humor, Gender Inequality, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Impotence Humor, Legislation Humor, Men's Health, Nina Turner, Ohio, Reproductive Health Humor, Reproductive Rights, Republicans Humor, Viagra Humor, Women's Health
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Constitution Humor, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 19 Comments »
Thursday, June 27th, 2013
The U.S. Supreme Court’s hypocritical demolishment of the Voting Rights Act, followed by a rush by certain states to impose discriminatory voting restrictions, inspired this three-verse limerick:
The Supreme Court Preclears Voter Suppression (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sev’ral states who once had to preclear
Any voting law change, gave a cheer:
The Supremes set them free
To restrict votes with glee,
Which they’re doing with plans in high gear.
In its holding, both sneaky and bold,
The Sup Court said the formula’s old,
And so need not be heeded–
A new one is needed:
It freed states to fair-voting withhold.
Some are doing just that with great speed,
Which proves that old formula’s need–
That it wasn’t outdated:
Bad intent’s unabated,
And there’s nothing to stop its stampede.
Tags: Constitution Verse, Judiciary Satire, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court, Voter ID, Voting Limerick, Voting Rights Act, VRA
Posted in Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Justice Department, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »
Monday, April 29th, 2013
Who’s paying Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe to invent and spread lies about Obama stockpiling bullets to deprive 2nd Amendment huggers of ammunition? The gun industry? The bullet industry? Both? Surely he’s not doing it solely because he’s an idiotic conspiracy theorist. Or is he?
Limerick Ode To James Inhofe
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Buy bullets before there’s none left—
All bought up by Barack — you bereft:
That’s conspiracy loon
Jim Inhofe’s new tune;
At making up lies, the guy’s deft.
Tags: Barack Obama, Conspiracy Theories, Constitution Verse, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Jim Inhofe, Oklahoma, Second Amendment
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, James Inhofe Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 6 Comments »
Monday, April 1st, 2013
If you’re a Colorado spouse abuser, take heart: Republicans have vowed to protect your right to bear arms against Dem meanies, who mean to take it away.
Clueless In Colorado (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Good news for domestic abusers,
Bad news for their victim-accusers:
Colorado is where
The Republicans swear
To guard gun rights for battering bruisers.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Battering Spouses, Colorado, Domestic Abuse, Family Values, Firearms, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, National Rifle Association, NRA, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Constitution Humor, Family Values Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, March 27th, 2013
Most experts seem to think the U.S. Supreme Court will strike down DOMA, thereby ending the federal ban on benefits to gay spouses. The question is: Will they do it based upon equal protection, or states’ rights? The former (seemingly supported by the four liberal Supremes) is vastly preferable, but the later appears more likely; the perennial swing judge, Justice Anthony Kennedy, is more of a states’ rights kinda guy.
Limerick Ode To DOMA’s Demise
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m GLAD to hear DOMA’s in trouble.
But will Justices safe in their bubble
Concede that it’s wrong,
Beat the gong, say so long
To treating gay couples like rubble?
Tags: Constitution Verse, Defense Of Marriage Act, DOMA, Equal Protection, Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, Homophobes, Justice Anthony Kennedy, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Marriage Equality, Same Sex Marriage, States Rights, Supreme Court Limerick
Posted in Constitution Humor, Gay Rights, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Government Services, Homophobia, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Minority Rights Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Monday, March 4th, 2013
I’ve been meaning to write about Antonin Scalia’s obnoxious Voting Rights Act comments. Something tells me he’d be a bit more enthused about the law, if the people it protected tended to vote Republican.
Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Scalia gave quite the recital
With that “racial entitlement” title
He “bestowed” on the vote,
Fearing Dem voter bloat:
To Scalia, such voters ain’t vital.
Tags: Antonin Scalia, Discrimination, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Legal Verse, Racial Bias, Supreme Court Humor, Voting Limerick, Voting Rights Act, VRA
Posted in Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, Entitlements Humor, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Minority Rights Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Racism Limerick, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, February 20th, 2013
I won’t be visiting Jay Laze’s pizza place any time soon:
A Virginia Beach pizza shop owner is showing his support for firearm rights by giving gun owners a 15 percent discount.
The discount is given to anyone who brings a gun or concealed handgun permit to All Around Pizzas and Deli.
The Right To Bear Arms … And Eat Cheap Pizza (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This news from Virginia’s alarming,
Although some may consider it charming:
Bring your gun to Jay’s shop.
Watch your pizza price drop.
I do NOT find this fellow disarming.
Tags: All Around Pizzas And Deli, Assault Weapons, Firearms, Food Humor, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, Jay Laze, National Rifle Association, NRA, Pizza Discount, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution, Virginia, Virginia Beach
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Virginia Humor | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, January 15th, 2013
After yesterday’s Weapon Wonderland Song Parody, I thought I was done with gun posts for a while. But I guess not:
The NRA Plays Games (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Violent video games are to blame,”
Claims the NRA, much to its shame.
Then it issues its own,
Meant for kids barely grown.
Yes, hypocrisy’s NRA’s name.
UPDATE: There’s some speculation that the National Rifle Association may not be behind this app. However, thus far, the NRA hasn’t disowned it.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, Hypocrisy, National Rifle Association, NRA, NRA App, Practice Range Game, Second Amendment, Song Parodies, U.S. Constitution, Violent Video Games
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 2 Comments »
Monday, January 14th, 2013
You can hear me attempt to sing my Weapon Wonderland song parody a cappella here. But since I have a lousy voice, it might be safest to just read my parody lyrics:
Weapon Wonderland Song Parody (to be sung to Winter Wonderland)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gun sales surge. Are you listenin’?
Ammunition keeps glistenin’.
They’re arming tonight and causing a fright.
U.S. Constitution arms the land.
People die for no reason.
Children shot! ‘Tis the season.
A terrible blight, each night after night.
Gun rights absolutists harm our land.
NRA and cronies claim our homeland
Must allow their arms in every town,
Claiming guns will help us.
We say “No man!
“The murder stats have got to go way down.”
Weapon fans have conspired.
Now our nation is mired.
With lives we have paid.
New laws must be made.
Or soon we’ll have a gun in every hand.
(Linked at DVerse Poets)
Tags: Assault Weapons, Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, National Rifle Association, NRA, Second Amendment, Song Parodies, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 17 Comments »
Tuesday, January 8th, 2013
I can’t help admiring the audacity and creativity of this fellow’s Citizens United-inspired legal argument:
A driver in San Rafael, California is attempting to appeal a traffic citation for driving alone in a High Occupancy Vehicle lane. Jonathan Frieman and his attorney, Ford Greene, argue that since Frieman had corporate incorporation papers in his car when he was stopped by an officer, he was actually carpooling at the time…
He’s sworn to chase the case all the way to the Supreme Court should the first trial not go his way in an attempt to “expose the impracticality of corporate personhood.”
A Driving Attack On Corporate Personhood (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m not driving alone, said the guy
In the HOV lane, and here’s why:
Corp’rate personhood rules,
And my corp files, you fools,
Are right here. My defense — you must buy!
Tags: Automobiles, California, Carpooling Humor, Cars, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Drivers, Ford Greene, High Occupancy Vehicle Lanes, HOV Lanes, Incorporation Papers, Jonathan Frieman, Law Humor, Legal Humor, San Rafael
Posted in Automobiles Satire, California Satire, Constitution Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Monday, January 7th, 2013
The Birthers are making trouble once again:
The reliably unhinged crazies over at WorldNetDaily have a new axe to grind when it comes to their tiresome obsession with proving that President Obama is not legally entitled to serve in the office he’s held for four years and counting. Their latest gambit involves insisting that Chief Justice John Roberts is violating the Constitution by administering the oath of office to the president for the second time on January 21, and warning that he will be subject to “impeachment and eternal dishonor” if he does so.
Batty Birthers Are Gunning For … Justice Roberts??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The birthers are at it again:
Stop Barack’s Oval swear-in, their yen.
Oath of office — abort,
They John Roberts exhort.
Seems impeachment’s their wet dream — both men.
Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Chief Justice John Roberts, Constitution Verse, Impeachment, Oath Of Office, Obama's Birth Certificate, Presidential Election, Swear-In Ceremony, White House, Wingnuts, WordNetDaily
Posted in Barack Obama, Birther Humor, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Impeachment Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Washington, White House, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »
Sunday, December 23rd, 2012
The NRA’s Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre has a grand solution to incidents like the Newtown massacre: Station armed guards at every school in the country. Sane people aren’t buying it.
Limerick Ode To Wayne LaPierre
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The NRA’s Wayne LaPierre
Is busy pretending to care
About kids who are dead
And the lives that were shred.
But his sole goal is one we can’t bear.
Tags: Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, National Rifle Association, Newtown Connecticut School Shootings, NRA, Sandy Hook, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution, Wayne LaPierre
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 4 Comments »
Friday, December 14th, 2012
I’ve been meaning to write a serious limerick about gun violence for a long time. Today’s tragic Newtown Connecticut school shooting prompted this verse:
Massacre Message (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mindless murder and mayhem in schools.
U.S. mall assaults — gun wielding ghouls.
We seek a solution,
But hear: “Constitution!”
We need leaders — not NRA tools!
Tags: Adam Lanza, Cowardly Politicians, Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, Leadership Humor, Newtown Connecticut School Shootings, Sandy Hook, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, July 25th, 2012
Roger Simon says it all about gun baloney, but I still have to write this limerick:
Outgunned By Cowardice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Both Obama and Mitt are distressed,
By the movie house murders depressed.
But those gun lobby fears
Beget action-free tears:
Tighten gun control? Surely you jest!
(Cross-posted on Limerick Debate.)
Tags: Aurora Colorado Shootings, Barack Obama, Colorado Theater Shooting, Cowardly Politicians, Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, Leadership Humor, Mitt Romney, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution
Posted in 44 Humor, Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 4 Comments »
Monday, July 2nd, 2012
Open Limerick To Chief Justice John Roberts
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Justice Roberts, your allies are mean,
And their attitude’s often obscene.
When they hate one decision,
Their answer’s derision:
Your meds fried your brain. No more sheen!
With people like that in your camp,
Perhaps it is time to revamp
Your views and opinions.
Dump low-lives as minions.
Convert! Be a working man’s champ.
Tags: ACA, Affordable Care Act, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Reform, Justice John Roberts, Law Humor, Legal Verse, Obamacare, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 10 Comments »
Friday, June 29th, 2012
Republicans are in shock over the U.S. Supreme Court’s “Obamacare” decision. They’d been so sure they had Justice John Roberts in their pockets, that they’re behaving like betrayed lovers: How dare he side with the liberal wing of the court on the constitutionality question!
Many of them are enraged to the point of irrationality. In fact, even Justice Roberts seems to have noticed the GOP’s “what have you done for me lately” nastiness. He actually joked about going into hiding.
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The decision John Roberts just penned
Has sent ACA foes round the bend.
Up till now he’d promote
All their views with his vote.
Has their Roberts’ romance reached an end?
Tags: ACA, Affordable Care Act, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Reform, Justice John Roberts, Law Humor, Legal Verse, Obamacare, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
Wow! When I wasn’t looking, President Obama apparently mugged the U.S. Supreme Court:
To the fainting couch! Obama attacked the Supreme Court and threatened it with a backlash, should it strike down his tyrannical scheme to impose a government takeover of health care on the nation!
That’s what many conservative writers and even some centrist ones are arguing. They are saying that Obama’s words about the Court yesterday were “unsettling” and a “witch-hunt,” and they’re likening them to F.D.R.’s efforts to pack the Court in retaliation for decisions striking down New Deal initiatives.
Please. If what Obama said yesterday is an “attack,” it’s pretty timid stuff indeed.
SCOTUS-Scolding Scandal? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The very same wingnuts who blast
So-called “activist courts” are aghast
And are faulting Obama
With petulant drama:
“He’s attacking the Court,” they lambaste.
Seems those wingnut Supremes need a hug,
Cuz Obama’s a meanie and “thug.”
His complaint, although mild,
Is driving them wild.
Those guys are sure easy to bug.
Tags: Activist Courts, Activist Judge, Barack Obama, Federal Courts, Health Care Reform, Judicial Review Humor, Judiciary Satire, Legal Verse, Litigation Humor, Obamacare, SCOTUS, Supreme Court Humor, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012
Chances are, you’ve heard about the latest Supreme Court travesty:
In a 5-4 decision, the court ruled against a New Jersey man erroneously arrested during a 2005 traffic stop for a fine he had already paid. Today’s ruling holds that even people arrested for minor offenses can be subjected to strip searches.
Supreme Indecency (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Thanks to Kennedy, Roberts, Scalia,
And their pals, cops can strip ya and see ya.
They don’t need any reason:
It’s strip searching season.
Our privacy’s gone! Mama mia!
Tags: ACLU, Arrests Limerick, Chief Justice John Roberts, Constitution Verse, Crime & Punishment, Criminal Justice, Invasion of Privacy, Justice Anthony Kennedy, Justice Antonin Scalia, Justice Clarence Thomas, Justice Samuel Alito Jr., Law Humor, Legal Verse, New Jersey, Privacy Humor, Strip Searches, Supreme Court Limerick, Traffic Stop, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Crime, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Privacy Humor, Supreme Court | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, February 21st, 2012
When I see a title like this, I pretty much have to write a limerick: Santorum Good for Chastity-Belt Sales? Manufacturer Says, “We’ve Had a Boost”
The Chastity Chase (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s good news for Republican men:
You can guard against gals with a yen
For sex you deem evil
With something primeval:
Yes chastity belts — Curb your hen!
Tags: Birth Control Limerick, Campaign Humor, Chastity Belts, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminist Limerick, GOP Humor, Health Care, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, Sexist Humor
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 2 Comments »
Monday, February 20th, 2012
Over the years, I’ve met many post-feminist women — gals who think the struggle is over, and who see no further need for feminism. I wonder what they think of the Republicans’ rampant, re-energized War On Women.
Limerick Ode To Feminism
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’ve met women far younger than I
Who’ve never quite understood why
We need feminist gals.
It seems they and their pals
See no ceiling of glass — just the sky.
They think gender-based battles are done,
And the feminist fight has been won.
Yet in merely a flash,
Rights can turn into ash:
Once again, we are under the gun.
(Related Posts: Dear Bedroom-Invading Republicans, More Contraceptive Madness, Feminist Humor Category)
Tags: Birth Control Limerick, Contraception Humor, Feminist Limerick, Health Care, Republicans Humor, Sexist Humor
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Constitution Humor, Contraception Humor, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
Friday, June 29th, 2012Republicans are in shock over the U.S. Supreme Court’s “Obamacare” decision. They’d been so sure they had Justice John Roberts in their pockets, that they’re behaving like betrayed lovers: How dare he side with the liberal wing of the court on the constitutionality question!
Many of them are enraged to the point of irrationality. In fact, even Justice Roberts seems to have noticed the GOP’s “what have you done for me lately” nastiness. He actually joked about going into hiding.
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The decision John Roberts just penned
Has sent ACA foes round the bend.
Up till now he’d promote
All their views with his vote.
Has their Roberts’ romance reached an end?
Tags: ACA, Affordable Care Act, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Reform, Justice John Roberts, Law Humor, Legal Verse, Obamacare, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »