Posts Tagged ‘Twitter Humor’

So Much For That Pivot (3-Verse Limerick)

Saturday, March 4th, 2017

At his speech Tuesday night, Trump seemed sane.
His proposals still sucked, but his brain
And behavior looked stable.
(Less time watching cable?)
Fawning pundits were ably inane:

Trump’s “pivot” was praised by the press,
Who perceived “presidential” finesse.
Heavy meds (I assume)
Might explain his brief bloom
Into something much less of a mess.

But his meds have worn off, I conclude,
Based on stark-raving tweets that he spewed
Just today. Yes his feed
On Twitter indeed
Proves our leader’s a bleeping-mad dude.

Trump’s Favorite Outlet (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 15th, 2017

When Donald gets bitter or pissed,
You can bet he’ll be shaking his fist
Via tweet-storming rants
About leakers and plants.
Before Twitter, how DID he exist?

Those Slippery Polls (Limerick)

Monday, February 6th, 2017

“Any negative polls are fake news.
(Trump on Twitter, expressing his views.)
Yet he can’t explain why
When his numbers are high
They’re plumb right, but when low they’re a ruse.

Donald Tweets To Putin (Limerick)

Friday, December 30th, 2016

This Trump tweet requires a limerick, don’t you think?
“Great move on delay (by V. Putin) – I always knew he was very smart!”

Donald Trump praises Putin as “smart,”
In effect telling Putin, “Take heart;
“Very soon you will own
“The Oval. Just phone
“With instructions. I can’t wait to start.”

Open Limerick To Donald Trump (2-Verse)

Saturday, December 17th, 2016

Dear Donald: Stop bragging and gloating
And mischaracterizing the voting.
Show some dignity. Preening
And boasting’s demeaning.
And so is your crude self-promoting.

You have pulled off remarkable feats,
So enough with the paranoid bleats.
Think twice before speaking
And enemy-tweaking.
And try NOT to launch wars with your tweets!

For Donald, Pettiness Trumps All (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 6th, 2016

It seems likely that Trump’s fact-free, market-skewing anti-Boeing tweet was spurred by yet another petty vendetta. (How dare Boeing’s CEO criticize Trump’s anti-China bluster!)

Donald tweets without int’rest or care
As to damage he’ll cause with each blare.
Petty grievance-borne views
Spark vendetta-spurred spews.
Spook markets? Start wars? C’est la guerre!

Trump To The Rescue (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 13th, 2015

Headline of the Day: “Donald Trump Will Live-Tweet CNN’s Democratic Debate.”

Will the Dem debate generate heat?
Will someone go down in defeat?
Well if points aren’t scored,
And you start to get bored,
You can always watch Donald Trump tweet.

Something For Trump To Tweet About (6-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, August 25th, 2015

Something For Trump To Tweet About (6-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Trump loves to post petulant tweets,
Whiny diatribes, vengeance-spurred bleats.
So his Twitter feed’s littered
With comments, embittered;
From a feud Donald never retreats.

If anyone else posted guff
Like Trump, (s)he’d be kicked in the duff–
Quickly out of a job
And shamed by a mob–
But when Trump does it, folks say, “Hot stuff!”

Groundless grievances gin up his life.
He thrives on them, loving the strife
He creates every day
With his vicious display.
Just imagine it — being Trump’s wife!

Within what other country could Trump,
A boorish, vindictive old grump,
With “huge” secret plans
Attract so many fans,
Who greet him with cheers on the stump?

I fear for our wonderful nation,
Filled with folks who think Trump’s our salvation;
This man who dispenses
Such daily offenses
Somehow fills them with endless elation.

Please tell me The Donald can’t win,
Cuz the drumbeat for Trump is a sin.
You might as well vote
For “Drunk Unc” or a goat…
And a goat, unlike Trump, has thick skin.

Hillary Clinton Joins Twitter (Limerick)

Monday, June 10th, 2013

Hillary Clinton Joins Twitter (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

@HillaryClinton is here
Right on Twitter, so give her a cheer.
Both witty & classy,
Supremely bad-assy
And fearless – a gal without peer.

Romney and the Blowhard (Limerick)

Friday, June 1st, 2012

This Donald Trump quote sounds fictitious, but it’s real: “I have a very large Twitter.”

Romney and the Blowhard (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Trump is proud of his “very large Twitter.”
(That’s a quote — not a Mad B Kane titter.)
When The Donald ain’t ragging
The prez, then he’s bragging.
Donald Trump — he’s where Mitt turns for glitter.

A Tale Of Two Kims (Limerick)

Monday, December 19th, 2011

It’s hard not to laugh at the confusion caused by Kim Jong-il’s demise:

Yes, in the wake of the passing of Kim Jong Il, some Twitter users seemingly believe that the female rapper Lil’ Kim had died instead.

On Twitter, amusing confusion—
Lil’ Kim devotees — wrong conclusion.
Kim Jong-il’s death was met
With deep shock and regret.
Seem’s Kim’s music can cause mass delusion.