Archive for the ‘Etiquette Humor’ Category

Kick-Ass Limerick

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

The language police are at it again. Republicans and Fox News (sorry to be redundant) are simply horrified at President Obama’s “unpresidential” language.

What are they so pretend-upset about? Obama used the word ass in response to Matt Lauer’s oil crisis question about kicking butt.

Apparently this is extremely shocking to the same folks who had no problem with f**ks from Bush, Cheney, and McCain.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Kick-Ass Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republicans’ delicate ears
Are offended by ass, it appears.
F**k is fine from McCain,
Bush, and Cheney — that’s plain.
But ass from Barack begets jeers.

Gosh-Darn Pols!

Monday, March 1st, 2010

I haven’t lived in California since I graduated from Cal Arts a zillion years ago. And when I read stories like this one about the California Assembly’s silly anti-cursing bill, I’m in no rush to go back. And certainly not to Sacramento:

Gosh-Darn Pols!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

California Assembly’s decree:
The first week of March is “cuss-free.”
So don’t fret about health,
Or pine for lost wealth,
Cuz your pols are protecting you. See?

Update: After writing this, I ran across this interesting post on the same topic by Seth Frederiksen, who’s originally from California. And there’s more information about the bill over here at skippy’s.

Larry King and Carrie Prejean — Not Headed To The Altar

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

I can’t decide what’s funnier:

a: Carrie Prejean’s finding Larry “King Of Softballs” King too tough and “inappropriate” an interviewer during her appearance to promote her book (and dodge discussing her lawsuit and sex tape); or

b: Carrie Prejean’s inability to properly storm off a set.

Note To Beauty Pageant Coaches: Must add storming-off-tv-set etiquette to your coaching regimen.

Here’s the video and here’s my limerick:

Larry King and Carrie Prejean — Not Headed To The Altar
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a wingnut named Carrie
Who got angry at talk show host Larry.
So she yanked off her mike,
Then just sat there on strike.
But when storming off sets, must not tarry.

Etiquette Advice For Rudy Giuliani, Courtesy Of Miss Madness

Monday, September 24th, 2007

Dear Rudy,

You really need to stop taking cell phone calls from your latest wife while you’re on stage giving a speech. It’s weird, rude and, in a post-9/11 world, it just ain’t cool.

You probably think it makes you look relaxed and confident. And you’re also hoping to burnish your image with the family values crowd, by making people think you’re still on speaking terms with somebody in your family.  (Fess up Rudy: Who was really on the phone during your NRA speech?  Your secretary?  Wife Number — what would the next one be — Four?

In any event, these staged on-stage calls from your “wife” simply have to stop.  Aside from the weird/rude/uncool problem, people are starting to suspect that you’re afraid not to take them.

Sorry Rudy, but looking henpecked is no way to out-macho Hillary.

Let me put it this way: Can you imagine George Dubya taking a call from Laura in the middle of a press conference or during his State of the Union Address?  Of course not! (From Mommy Barb maybe, but that topic’s way above my pay grade.)

Speaking of President Bush, if you’re anywhere near him, I must advise you to duck: The guy has a thing for fondling bald pates. And yes — that’s rude too.

Bye for now, Rudy.  But if you (or your scary wife Judi) have any more etiquette questions, Miss Madness is here for you. 


Miss Madness

P.S.  I practice divorce law too.

(For more Rudy cell phone rudeness humor, visit Don Davis at Satirical Political.)  [tags]Rudy Giuliani Rudeness, Cell Phone Etiquette, Rudy & Judi, NRA Speech, Rudy V. Hillary, Henpecked Humor, Presidential Campaign, Election Satire,[/tags]