Archive for the ‘Automobiles Satire’ Category

Trafficking In Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio’s been catching some flack lately over his traffic-safety initiative. It seems he doesn’t practice what he preaches.

Trafficking In Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bill de Blasio warns New York folk
To drive carefully. Safety’s no joke.
Yet the rules take a hike
In Bill’s auto. Did Mike
Ever guzzle a giant-sized Coke?

Note from Mad Kane: For those who don’t follow New York City politics, former Mayor Mike Bloomberg (whom de Blasio criticizes at every opportunity) is famous/infamous for banning super-sized sodas.

A Driving Attack On Corporate Personhood (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

I can’t help admiring the audacity and creativity of this fellow’s Citizens United-inspired legal argument:

A driver in San Rafael, California is attempting to appeal a traffic citation for driving alone in a High Occupancy Vehicle lane. Jonathan Frieman and his attorney, Ford Greene, argue that since Frieman had corporate incorporation papers in his car when he was stopped by an officer, he was actually carpooling at the time…

He’s sworn to chase the case all the way to the Supreme Court should the first trial not go his way in an attempt to “expose the impracticality of corporate personhood.”

A Driving Attack On Corporate Personhood (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m not driving alone, said the guy
In the HOV lane, and here’s why:
Corp’rate personhood rules,
And my corp files, you fools,
Are right here. My defense — you must buy!

Limerick Ode To Vendetta Politics

Tuesday, December 11th, 2012

Fox News has found something new to cheer about: Lame duck Michigan Republicans have rammed through a law that would make Michigan the 24th “right-to-work” state. And Republican Governor Rick Snyder is poised to break his prior promise by signing it.

This is payback, of course, to punish auto and other unions for supporting Obama.

Limerick Ode To Vendetta Politics
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans rule by vendetta,
Passing laws meant to enemies fettah:
The Michigan bosses
Blame unions for losses,
So at unions have aimed a Beretta.

Romney’s Lies Are Jeep (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 30th, 2012

Mitt Romney keeps repeating a claim that he knows to be false: Both in speeches and ads, he asserts that Chrysler’s moving all Jeep production to China. In truth, Chrysler’s adding 2200 Jeep employees in Toledo, Ohio and Detroit, Michigan.

But what’s a little thing like the truth, when you’re trying to deceive your way into the White House?

Romney’s Lies Are Jeep (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Romney’s China-Jeep ad is a lie.
Yet he keeps doubling down on it. Why?
Cuz he’s paid little price
For his lies. That device
Gets him votes. Bid democracy “Bye!”

Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

If any Republican operative should know not to joke about killing President Obama, it’s pollster/wordsmith Frank Luntz. And yet that’s precisely what he did:

If you think the race for the Republican presidential nomination has been ugly, you’re right. However, a recent joke by Republican pollster and Fox News analyst Frank Luntz indicates that the general election promises to be even uglier. Warming up a crowd at a Rick Santorum campaign event Monday night, Luntz cracked, “I have a ‘Run, Barack, Run’ bumper sticker, but I put it on the front of my car.

Here’s Rachel Maddow’s story on this, including the video of Luntz’s running-President-Obama-over joke.

Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican messaging czar
Is an expert at framing — a star.
Yet he loves to tee-hee
That Obama must flee,
Or be struck by a GOP car.

Clint Eastwood Ad Flap Madness (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 8th, 2012

Poor Karl Rove! His delicate sensibilities were offended by Clint Eastwood’s uplifting auto industry Super Bowl ad:

Over stirring French horns and stark photos of Detroit workers, the ad used the auto industry’s rebirth from bankruptcy as a symbol of American renewal and determination. But it contained some shocking language for those, like Mr. Rove, who are easily bruised:

“Detroit is showing us it can be done and what’s true about them is true about all of us. This country can’t be knocked out with one punch. We get right back up again and when we do the world’s going to hear the roar of our engines. Yeah.”

And Rove is just one among many Republicans expressing outrage over the ad narrated by Eastwood, a loyal Republican who says the ad has nothing to do with politics.

Clint Eastwood Ad Madness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It seems Eastwood committed a sin:
His truth-telling ad brought chagrin
To the GOP crowd –
Words of hope said out loud
Are a threat — they might help our Prez win.

Revisionist History On Auto Pilot

Wednesday, May 25th, 2011

Remember when Republicans opposed the automobile industry bailout, slamming Obama for his “government takeover?”

Now that Obama’s auto industry rescue plan is a raging success, Republicans have acknowledged their error and congratulated Obama on a job well done, right?

Hahahahaha!

So can we trust the media to make sure Republicans like Romney, Corker, Pawlenty, Kasich, and their ilk don’t scam people into thinking the bailout was their idea?

You’re kidding, right?

Revisionist History On Auto Pilot
By Madeleine Begun Kane

So what did Republicans say
To auto co bailouts? No way!
But the past they would edit
And try to take credit:
It worked, so that plan was “their” play.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Texting?

Monday, August 31st, 2009

Brace yourself for a large dose of libertarian outrage: Texting while driving may soon be outlawed.

An organization of state highway safety officials on Monday plans to call for a ban on texting while driving, joining a growing chorus of legislators and safety advocates endorsing such a policy.

The group, the Governors Highway Safety Association, whose members are appointed by state governors to lead highway safety agencies, said it adopted the policy in light of a growing body of research showing the increased crash risk posed by texting motorists.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Texting?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you text while you drive, you’re insane.
You’re a hazard like snow, ice, and rain.
And if govs have their way,
You will soon have to say:
“BRB, AFK, must refrain.”

(If my last line needs translating, here’s a chat and text message abbreviation dictionary.)

Related Posts: Multi-Task Madness; Pedestrian Plea; Multitasking Mania; and Contending With Time

Bankrupt Values

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

Republicans have no shortage of things to fulminate about.  One of their favorites?  The General Motors bankruptcy:

Bankrupt Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An auto co known as GM
In the past was considered a gem.
It’s in bankruptcy now.
Will that hurt? Yes, and how!
But the GOP’s goal? Blame the Dem!

(You can find my lighter car humor columns and limericks here.)