Posts Tagged ‘Presidential Election’

Trump Wins; Nation Loses (2-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, November 9th, 2016

An odious person has won,
So my hope for our nation’s undone.
I am stunned by the con
Accomplished by Don.
Has the advent of End Times begun?

The fact that a Trump can prevail
Tells a sad and dispiriting tale
Of a country that’s filled
With ill will, bound to build
Something vile … and to virtue derail.

Open Limerick To The Press (3-Verse)

Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

Will the media (including debate moderators) finally do its job during the upcoming presidential debates? My 3-verse open limerick to the press begs the media to do exactly that:

Dear press, that low bar you employ
Judging Trump must be raised. Don’t be coy.
If he hides some bad traits
In these crucial debates,
Don’t applaud Donald’s “pivot” with joy!

If he fails to behave like a clown
And he brings his high lying rate down,
Doesn’t act like a mad man,
Or Trump-bus’ness ad man,
Don’t hand him a pageantry crown.

Stop pretending that Trump’s not an ass.
Stop giving The Donald a pass.
It’s time to admit
That he’s clearly unfit
To be prez. Do your job! Show some brass!

Limerick Ode To Putin-Loving Trump

Friday, September 9th, 2016

Donald’s concept of leadership’s thuggery
And his chief expertise is skulduggery.
Run our nation? That guy?
Just the thought makes me cry!
Trump belongs in a well-padded snuggery.

For Trump, Election Rigging is De Rigueur

Saturday, August 13th, 2016

Trump Headline of the Day: “I’ll Only Lose With ‘Cheating,’ Asks Supporters To Watch Polling Places.”

As I explain in my 2-verse limerick, Trump’s urging supporters to intimidate Democratic voters:

In a nutshell, here’s Donald’s j’accuse:
“Only cheating can cause me to lose.
“Stop those people (sub-par) —
“You all know who they are —
“From stealing what’s mine.” What a ruse!

Don’t be fooled by the Trumpian spin.
Calls for action like that are a sin;
He’s encouraging fans
To make bullying plans,
Cuz it’s CHEATING Trump NEEDS for a WIN.

Donald’s Already Lying About Debates (Limerick)

Saturday, July 30th, 2016

I suspect that The Donald is scared
That his knowledge-lack’s sure to be bared
In a Clinton debate.
Hence his tale out the gate:
“Clinton rigged the debate dates,” he blared.

Open Letter To Bernie Sanders

Sunday, June 26th, 2016

Dear Bernie: I started out liking you, but preferring Hillary. Over time, my respect for you has gradually declined. However until today, I still thought you were a well-meaning progressive, albeit one with an over-inflated ego and a soupçon of sexism.

But all that has changed as a result of your “performance” today on CNN’s State of the Union. My regard for you now is undoubtedly every bit as low as the “Bernie Or Busters’ regard for Hillary Clinton.

So please don’t bother endorsing Hillary EVER. It’s way too late. Nobody cares!

And by all means please keep up your increasingly obnoxious remarks about Hillary — comments you apparently must spew in order to maintain the media attention you require to get through the day. Because again, NOBODY CARES!

And re your: “We are trying to say to Secretary Clinton and the Clinton campaign, ‘Make it clear which side you are on,'” please get therapy. Your need for it appears desperate.

PS: You LOST!!!

Explaining Bernie (Limerick)

Friday, June 17th, 2016

Explain Bernie? I’ll give it a whirl:
He apparently thinks he’s a pearl,
And that Hill and her lot
Are beneath him — worth squat —
Plus he CAN’T bear to lose to a girl.

Trump Spells Out His Problem With Kasich (Limerick)

Sunday, April 24th, 2016

A headline like this pretty much demands a limerick:
“Trump asks Kasich to change spelling of his name.”

Here’s The Donald’s big grievance today:
To Kasich’s last name, he says, “Nay!”
It’s spelled wrong, goes his schtick —
Looks like “itch,” and not “ick,”
Which means Kasich should change it, okay?

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Wednesday, April 6th, 2016

The word “loser’s” your favorite dig.
(Though for women, you’re fond of “fat pig.”)
So your spew upon losing
Wisconsin’s amusing:
A sore-loserish rant from a prig.

7 Candidates In 5 Lines (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 9th, 2016

Marco Rubio’s rather robotic.
Carly lies, and Jeb Bush seems neurotic.
Then there’s Carson, a snooze,
Bully Christie, vile Cruz,
And the narcissist: Trump “the Despotic.”

Trumping The Truth (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

With their lies, guys like Donald Trump try us.
Prove them wrong, they just laugh and defy us.
They keep getting their way
Cuz there’s NO price to pay.
Call them out? They shout, “Media bias!”

“Lame” Critiques (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 15th, 2015

“Lame” Critiques (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

So minimum wage laws are “lame?”
Sounds inane, but it’s Scott Walker’s claim.
What is “lame” is that Scott
Uses words without thought–
Schoolyard slams without substance. For shame!

Open Limerick To Louie Gohmert

Friday, March 27th, 2015

Alas, it seems Louie Gohmert was just kidding the other day when he mentioned possibly running for president. Damn!

Open Limerick To Louie Gohmert
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Louie Gohmert, I’m begging you, run.
Your voice in the race would be fun!
Next to you, Trump and Ted
Seem nigh “right in the head.”
Then again, where’d we be if you won?

Open Limerick To Ted Cruz

Monday, March 23rd, 2015

Open Limerick To Ted Cruz
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My muse and I thank you, Ted Cruz.
We’re enthused by your news. No more blues!
I’m infused with elation.
You’re bruising our nation,
But your run means we rhymers can’t lose.

“Bush’s Brain” Does It Again (2-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

Karl Rove a/k/a “Turd Blossom” a/k/a “Bush’s Brain” is at it again. And this time his target is Hillary Clinton. First he strongly implies that she had “traumatic brain injury,” while greatly exaggerating the length of her hospital stay:

“Thirty days in the hospital?” Rove said, according to the report. “And when she reappears, she’s wearing glasses that are only for people who have traumatic brain injury? We need to know what’s up with that.”

Next he denies using the specific phrase “brain damage,” as if that makes everything copacetic.

Of course this sort of dirty tricks attack is SOP for Karl Rove.

“Bush’s Brain” Does It Again (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rove’s method is slur and then flee.
His hit jobs leave drive-by debris.
He’ll strongly imply
Something’s true, then deny
That he used a set phrase he deems key.

Rove’s now on an anti-Hill spree,
Lodging brain-health aspersions with glee.
He’ll imply Hill’ry’s brain
Has been damaged, then feign
Complete innocence: Smear her? Not ME!

Infantile Pundits Give Birth To More Wind (Limerick)

Monday, April 21st, 2014

I just love Jeff Greenfield’s take on the “Baby Clinton Madness.” I’m referring, of course, to all the nonsensical opinionating about its effect (or non-effect) on Hillary Clinton’s presumed presidential candidacy.

Infantile Pundits Give Birth To More Wind (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

OMG! Chelsea Clinton’s with child!
Watch political gas-bags go wild,
As they mindlessly mine
Its effects and opine.
Yes, those pundits are rightly reviled.

Mitch’s Knucklehead Pitch (Limerick)

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

I can only assume that when Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell looks in the mirror, he somehow sees a very youthful, attractive fellow. Otherwise he would surely avoid making this ageist, lookist, and sexist jab at Hillary Clinton:

“Finally, don’t tell me that Democrats are the party of the future when their presidential ticket for 2016 is shaping up to look like a rerun of the ‘Golden Girls,’” McConnell said in his morning address to CPAC, drawing laughter and applause.

Mitch’s Knucklehead Pitch (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Someone ought to inform Leader Mitch
Of his party’s new “lure women” pitch:
Saying Hillary C-run
Is Golden Girls rerun
Most likely won’t tempt us to switch.

Appalling Speculation (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Rachel Maddow has temporarily sworn off speculating about Election 2016. But fortunately (or unfortunately) I’ve taken no such pledge:

Appalling Speculation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican race in ’16
Could be Ryan v. Rand — what a scene!
Two Pauls in one bout —
Mass confusion, no doubt.
Neither one’s worth so much as a Bean.*

*Paul Ryan’s anti-abortion rhetoric included a claim that he nicknamed his daughter Liza “Bean” because at seven weeks his “little baby was in the shape of a bean.” Ryan has been accused of stealing this anecdote from the late Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain.

Batty Birthers Are Gunning For … Justice Roberts??? (Limerick)

Monday, January 7th, 2013

The Birthers are making trouble once again:

The reliably unhinged crazies over at WorldNetDaily have a new axe to grind when it comes to their tiresome obsession with proving that President Obama is not legally entitled to serve in the office he’s held for four years and counting. Their latest gambit involves insisting that Chief Justice John Roberts is violating the Constitution by administering the oath of office to the president for the second time on January 21, and warning that he will be subject to “impeachment and eternal dishonor” if he does so.

Batty Birthers Are Gunning For … Justice Roberts??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The birthers are at it again:
Stop Barack’s Oval swear-in, their yen.
Oath of office — abort,
They John Roberts exhort.
Seems impeachment’s their wet dream — both men.

Open Limerick To Birthers

Tuesday, December 18th, 2012

In Arizona, at least, the Birthers still haven’t gone away.

Open Limerick To Birthers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Even now, we hear Birthers contest
Barack’s birthplace with zealotous zest.
Though he’s won two elections
Their baseless objections
Persist. They should give it a rest.