Archive for the ‘Hillary Clinton’ Category

Infantile Pundits Give Birth To More Wind (Limerick)

Monday, April 21st, 2014

I just love Jeff Greenfield’s take on the “Baby Clinton Madness.” I’m referring, of course, to all the nonsensical opinionating about its effect (or non-effect) on Hillary Clinton’s presumed presidential candidacy.

Infantile Pundits Give Birth To More Wind (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

OMG! Chelsea Clinton’s with child!
Watch political gas-bags go wild,
As they mindlessly mine
Its effects and opine.
Yes, those pundits are rightly reviled.

Hillary Clinton Joins Twitter (Limerick)

Monday, June 10th, 2013

Hillary Clinton Joins Twitter (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

@HillaryClinton is here
Right on Twitter, so give her a cheer.
Both witty & classy,
Supremely bad-assy
And fearless – a gal without peer.

Mitch’s Knucklehead Pitch (Limerick)

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

I can only assume that when Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell looks in the mirror, he somehow sees a very youthful, attractive fellow. Otherwise he would surely avoid making this ageist, lookist, and sexist jab at Hillary Clinton:

“Finally, don’t tell me that Democrats are the party of the future when their presidential ticket for 2016 is shaping up to look like a rerun of the ‘Golden Girls,’” McConnell said in his morning address to CPAC, drawing laughter and applause.

Mitch’s Knucklehead Pitch (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Someone ought to inform Leader Mitch
Of his party’s new “lure women” pitch:
Saying Hillary C-run
Is Golden Girls rerun
Most likely won’t tempt us to switch.

Limerick Ode To Hillary Haters

Tuesday, January 1st, 2013

Now that Hillary Clinton has been diagnosed with a blood clot in her head, Jeff Greenfield asks an excellent question:

Wonder if those sarcastically doubting Sec. Clinton’s health will have the decency to apologize….I’m not exactly holding my breath.

Limerick Ode To Hillary Haters
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The haters are out to get Hill,
Spewing venom and meanness and swill,
Asserting with shrillness,
“She’s faking her illness!”
Is a blood clot sufficiently ill?

Hillary Clinton — Bombshell?

Monday, May 9th, 2011

By now you’ve surely heard that the Brooklyn-based Hasidic newspaper Der Tzitung “disappeared” Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and another woman from the iconic White House Situation Room photo, taken while the Osama bin Laden attack was going down:

The original photo, taken as the raid was occurring, famously shows Clinton in the center of the room, with her hand over her mouth. But the newspaper Der Tzitung, described by the Jewish Week as “ultra-Orthodox,” has a policy of never printing photos of women in its pages because it thinks they could be sexually suggestive. Thus, Clinton and counterterrorism director Audrey Tomason, who was seen standing at the back of the room, were removed from the picture.

In a non-apology apology, Der Tzitung said in part:

In accord with our religious beliefs, we do not publish photos of women, which in no way relegates them to a lower status. Publishing a newspaper is a big responsibility, and our policies are guided by a Rabbinical Board. Because of laws of modesty, we are not allowed to publish pictures of women, and we regret if this gives an impression of disparaging to women, which is certainly never our intention. We apologize if this was seen as offensive.

Some people may find the following limerick to be offensive. And to them I say, too damn bad!

Hillary Clinton — Bombshell? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What a shame that some men are so weak,
They can’t handle so much as a peek
Of a Hillary pic.
Seems they fear that their dick
Can’t withstand her alluring physique.

UPDATE: A very funny take on this same topic.

What Would The Press Do Without Clinton Rumors?

Thursday, November 20th, 2008

Hillary wants to be Obama’s Secretary of State. Hillary doesn’t know if she wants to be Secretary of State. Bill’s standing in her way. Bill’s fully cooperating. Obama’s made an offer. Obama hasn’t made an offer. The blogs think it’s a terrible idea. The blogs think it’s a great idea.

Just one question: Does anyone else think all this rumor-mongering is a wee bit silly?

What Would The Press Do Without Clinton Rumors? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The press is so desp’rate for drama
In a White House that’s run by Obama,
That they eagerly tell
Bill and Hill tales pell-mell.
No Clintons? They’d run home to mama.

Sarah Who???

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

Sarah Palin For Veep? I knew John McCain and his Rovian puppet masters were cynical, but this takes the cake.

But hey, I’m a female.  So I guess I have to vote for whats-her-name, right?  After all, the only reason I was backing Hillary is cuz we’re both female. So naturally, now that Obama’s chosen Biden as his running mate, I must vote for a woman who STANDS FOR EVERYTHING I DESPISE:

Sarah Who???
By Madeleine  Begun Kane

Dear Johnny, I can not conceive
What could possibly make you believe
That your anti-choice pick
Could possibly click
With us Hillary-gals.  How naive!

You must think that we women are sheep,
Who would swoon at a female for Veep.
But a right-wingnut gal
Who’d control our canal?
Oh, that hole that you’re digging is deep.

Yes, your pick has a beautiful face
And she’ll help you to shore up your base.
But she’s wrong to the core
And (like you) she’s just more
Of Bush/Cheney … with feminine grace.

UPDATE: I’m very pleased that my Robert Benchley Society Humor Award has generated a fair amount of publicity. This article in Gannett’s Journal News is probably the best of the stories.  And it has a fun companion video of me reading one of my humor columns.[tags]Sarah Palin, John McCain Humor, Palin Humor, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton Verse, Biden Nomination, Obama Poem, Feminist Humor, Gender Satire[/tags]

Kristol-izing Feminism

Sunday, August 24th, 2008

So Bill Kristol’s a feminist.  Who knew? Yes, William Kristol, Republican con man, is oh so terribly concerned about the glass ceiling perpetuated by Barack Obama when he chose Joe Biden for his running mate, denying Hillary Clinton her shot at Veep.

I’m touched.  Aren’t you?

Kristol-izing Feminism (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bill Kristol is outraged that Hill
Ain’t the Democrats’ Veep pick. Dear Bill,
Your concern about gender
Would strike me as tender
If phonies did not make me ill.

Is Olbermann Turning Into O’Reilly?

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

Is it just me?  Or is Keith Olbermann turning into Bill O’Reilly?

The bombastic commentary.  The narcissism.  And, of course, the misogyny.

I’d thought that once Obama clinched the Democratic nomination, it would be safe to start watching Countdown again.  Without Keith’s daily anti-Hillary target practice, I might even be able to watch it without cringing.

Wrong!

Keith’s bloviating “Worst Person in the World” anti-Katie Couric tirade was almost enough to make me turn to Bill O’Reilly. Talk about desperate!

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Is Olbermann Turning Into O’Reilly? 
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In the past I cheered Olbermann’s rants—
Loved his anti-war, anti-Bush stance.
But misogynous bluster
Is all he can muster
In Olbermann’s mirror-romance.

Next, They’ll Claim Obama Inherited Clinton’s Reverend

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

Sometimes I can’t help being amused by the Blame-Hillary crowd. What are they blaming her for this time?  Obama’s Reverend Wright problem, of course. 

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Next, They’ll Claim Obama Inherited Clinton’s Reverend
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Whenever his poll numbers lurch,
Obama-fans start up a search.
Their aim’s to fix blame
On that Hillary dame.
Guess it’s her fault he joined Rev. Wright’s church.[tags]Senator Obama, Senator Clinton Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Religion Limerick[/tags]

Those Were The Days, My Friend

Sunday, April 20th, 2008

Remember when the entire left blogosphere could be counted on to criticize politicians who said one thing and did the opposite? And when hypocrisy was routinely deconstructed and attacked by the left?

I’m talking about the pre-Obama-cult days, of course.  A time when the sort of behavior described here, here, here and here wouldn’t have been countenanced (let alone encouraged) by half the left blogosphere. Those were the days, my friend. (McCain Trademark Pending)

And that brings me to the first of my latest pair of limericks:

Dear Obama, please tell us all why
You keep doing the stuff you decry.
Cuz the “high road” you claim
Sure is littered with shame,
As you peddle your DC change lie.

My second new limerick was inspired by Obama’s slick habit of conflating the GWB and Bill Clinton presidencies by referring to decades in discussing this nation’s problems.  Instead of pinpointing the horrendous Bush years, Obama blithely tarnishes the Democratic brand with that plural decades reference.  

Why does he do this? Apparently it’s Obama who will do whatever it takes to win.  And that includes making sure Hillary doesn’t get credit by association for the relatively prosperous and peaceful Nineties.

That brings me to today’s second limerick:

Obama cites “decades” of ills,
Conflating the Bush years with Bill’s.
He’ll hurt the Dem brand
By playing that hand,
Leading voters to run for the hills.[tags]Barack Obama Hypocrisy, Democratic Brand, Left Blogosphere, Presidential Election Humor, Campaign Satire[/tags]

Dear Barack Obama: Last Night Is What Happens When You Drink Your Own Kool-Aid

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

What did we learn from last night’s debate?  That (unlike Hillary Clinton) Barack Obama falls apart when he finally encounters a hostile press. 

As the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Dick Polman observes, Obama was “shaken, rattled and rolled” at the ABC debate.  So, is this the kind of candidate you want opposing John “Media Pal” McCain in the general election? 

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Dear Barack Obama: Last Night Is What Happens When You Drink Your Own Kool-Aid
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The man with the tongue made of gold
Under pressure last night seemed to fold.
His supporters excuse him—
Claim press guys abuse him.
Words matter. Barack’s? Oversold![tags]ABC Pennsylvania Presidential Debate, Senator Obama, Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Senator Clinton, Hostile Press, Senator McCain[/tags] 

Biased Journalists And Bloggers, Heal Thyselves!

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008

Hey, cable honchos. Before lambasting Hillary for “failing to fact check,” you might consider dabbling in some fact checking yourselves.

I’m referring, of course, to the media’s dead hospital patient mock-fest and, more broadly, to the “Gore-ing” of Hillary Clinton.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Biased Journalists And Bloggers, Heal Thyselves
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In cov’rage quite sloppy at best,
The press attacked Hill’ry with zest,
Disputing her facts.
But ’twas they who were lax.
Cuz if Clinton says east they say west.[tags]Biased Bloggers, Sloppy Journalists, Senator Clinton, Press Fact Checking, Presidential Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Health Humor, Media Limerick[/tags]

Ode To Randi “Queen of Obscene” Rhodes

Friday, April 4th, 2008

As you surely know by now, Air America host Randi Rhodes has been suspended for calling both Geraldine Ferraro and Hillary Clinton “whores” and describing Hillary with more f-words than I could manage to count in this clip of her performance.  Just one question: This was supposed to be comedy?

Ode To Randi “Queen of Obscene” Rhodes
By Madeleine Begun Kane

That performance by Randi ain’t pretty.
Calling Hill’ry a whore’s hardly witty.
Hurling f-bombs galore
About Hill.  What a bore!
She’s suspended? This blog has no pity.[tags]Randi Rhodes, Air America Radio, Randi’s F-words, Senator Clinton, Geraldine Ferraro, Rhodes Suspension, Tasteless Humor, Media Humor, Presidential Campaign Verse[/tags]

An Ode To Lefty Bloggers Who Hate Hillary Clinton (Updated)

Sunday, March 30th, 2008

An Ode To Lefty Bloggers Who Hate Hillary (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama supporters proclaim
That Clinton must quit, hurling blame,
Shrieking “Stop this damn fray!”
Dems love fighters, they say.
But not if the fighter’s a dame.

UPDATE: After posting this, I went searching for some bloggers who are rational on the subject of Clinton and Obama. Here’s what I found:

Take Your Boobs And Go Home Watch
Heh
Krugman Reads His Hillary
Obama Likes GOP Foreign Policy
Obama To Blame If The Dem Contest Goes To The Convention
Dear Democratic Elite: Back Off
It’s going past Denver
The World Is Watching[tags]Lefty Blogs Humor, Presidential Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Senator Clinton, Senator Obama, Democrats Limerick, Gender Humor, White House Verse[/tags]

Presidential Election Blues

Monday, March 24th, 2008

Presidential Election Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

While pundits bloviate,
Candidates exaggerate,
Flirt with fourth estate
And would-be running mate.

They travel multi-state,
Wooing pools of voter-bait.
Think the Oval’s their fate.
Hardly ever talk straight.

Their resumes inflate.
They claim opponents don’t rate.
Prez debates?  Not great.
November 5th —  can’t wait![tags]Campaign Satire, Presidential Election Humor, White House Poetry[/tags]

Hillary Clinton Derangement Syndrome (Haiku)

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

Smearing Hillary,
Ignoring Barack’s foibles.
Must edit blogroll.

(For more on HCDS (Hillary Clinton Derangement Syndrome) read Left Coaster;  Hillary Clinton’s Internet Director Challenges Bloggers To Cover Obama Campaign Tactics;  Sherry Chandler;  Pro-Hillary Writers On Strike At Daily Kos;  Avedon Carol;  Obama News Anchor;  Carpetbagger Report;  Pen-Elayne;  Chalice Chick; and  Gene Lyons)[tags]Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Hillary Haiku, Obama Haiku, Clinton Derangement Syndrome[/tags]

Obama Tries To Paint Over Politics As Usual

Saturday, March 8th, 2008

Barack Obama claims to be battling Hillary Clinton under a new set of political rules. But as Big Tent illustrates, his personal attacks on Clinton sound suspiciously like politics as usual.  And that brings me to my latest haiku:

The new politics,
Courtesy of Obama:
Old rules with feint-job.
[tags]Senator Obama, Senator Clinton, Campaign Satire, Presidential Election Humor, Obama Haiku, Obama Hypocrisy, Political Rules, Personal Attacks[/tags]

Hysterical Lefty Bloggers Whine For Clinton To Leave Obama Alone

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

Predictably, the A-list lefty blog-calls for Hillary to get out of the presidential race have continued, notwithstanding last night’s Hillary Clinton wins. Any minute now, I half-expect to read that Hillary’s refusal to bow out is racist.

Of course, these hand-the-nomination-to-its-rightful-owner rants come from the same bloggers who insist that Obama isn’t sexist and that the media hasn’t been biased against Clinton. (Americablog is but one example and no, I will not link to it.)

Apparently, these bloggers can’t wait for the media to turn its biased dirty tricks on Obama.  Because that’s exactly what will happen if/when Clinton is out of the picture:

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

The press guys can’t wait to declare
That Clinton’s kaput on the air.
Then they’ll turn on Barack:
They’ll malign and they’ll mock
Him, the way they hit Hill’ry. Beware![tags]Presidential Politics, Lefty Bloggers, Press Bias, Media Sexism, Racist Accusations, Senator Clinton, Senator Obama, Media Humor[/tags]

Obama’s Words – A Textbook Case Of Subtle Sexism

Sunday, February 17th, 2008

Some recent Barack Obama comments reminded me of a personal essay on subtle sexism I wrote way back in 1990.  And while that might sound like ancient history, my essay, published under various titles including Gender At Work and My Most Attractive Adversary, is the lead Gender Gap chapter essay in a pair of current (2008) textbooks by Gary Goshgarian:  The Contemporary Reader and Readings For Today.

In his introduction to my essay, Northeastern University English Professor Goshgarian observes:

Women may seem to have made tremendous progress professionally and academically, but they are held back by indirect sexist comments and attitudes. They are caught in a catch-22.  If they react against these seemingly small slights, they appear to be overreacting or too sensitive. But to let them pass may signal that such comments are somehow acceptable.  In the next essay, humorist and self-described “recovering lawyer” Madeleine Begun Kane holds that subtle sexism maintains gender differences.

And that brings me to this subtly sexist Obama comment, made in response to Hillary Clinton attacks:

You challenge the status quo and suddenly the claws come out.

And to this even more offensive line:

I understand that Senator Clinton, periodically when she’s feeling down, launches attacks as a way of trying to boost her appeal.

“Claws come out?” “Periodically?”  “Feeling down?” These words are more subtle than the B-word, I suppose. But they are sexist, nonetheless. 

So where’s the blogger outrage over Obama’s sexism?  Lots of luck finding it among the A-list bloggers — the male ones, at least. They have a much better time of it interpreting everything the Clinton team does as racist. 

Sure, there’s some great commentary about Obama’s sexism over at Taylor Marsh’s blog and at Talk Left. But in the main, Obama’s getting a gender bias-pass.

Meanwhile, many educated young women, who apparently take the accomplishments of feminism for granted, are supporting Obama’s candidacy over Hillary Clinton.

You know what those young women could use?  A good gender studies course.  Because sexism, after all, isn’t ancient history.

(For the lighter side of gender issues, you can find my feminist humor here.)