Mad Kane’s Political Madness

Sometimes I can’t help being amused by the Blame-Hillary crowd. What are they blaming her for this time?  Obama’s Reverend Wright problem, of course. 

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Next, They’ll Claim Obama Inherited Clinton’s Reverend
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Whenever his poll numbers lurch,
Obama-fans start up a search.
Their aim’s to fix blame
On that Hillary dame.
Guess it’s her fault he joined Rev. Wright’s church.

Technorati Tags: Senator Obama, Senator Clinton Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Religion Limerick

Remember when the entire left blogosphere could be counted on to criticize politicians who said one thing and did the opposite? And when hypocrisy was routinely deconstructed and attacked by the left?

I’m talking about the pre-Obama-cult days, of course.  A time when the sort of behavior described here, here, here and here wouldn’t have been countenanced (let alone encouraged) by half the left blogosphere. Those were the days, my friend. (McCain Trademark Pending)

And that brings me to the first of my latest pair of limericks:

Dear Obama, please tell us all why
You keep doing the stuff you decry.
Cuz the “high road” you claim
Sure is littered with shame,
As you peddle your DC change lie.

My second new limerick was inspired by Obama’s slick habit of conflating the GWB and Bill Clinton presidencies by referring to decades in discussing this nation’s problems.  Instead of pinpointing the horrendous Bush years, Obama blithely tarnishes the Democratic brand with that plural decades reference.  

Why does he do this? Apparently it’s Obama who will do whatever it takes to win.  And that includes making sure Hillary doesn’t get credit by association for the relatively prosperous and peaceful Nineties.

That brings me to today’s second limerick:

Obama cites “decades” of ills,
Conflating the Bush years with Bill’s.
He’ll hurt the Dem brand
By playing that hand,
Leading voters to run for the hills.

Technorati Tags: Barack Obama Hypocrisy, Democratic Brand, Left Blogosphere, Presidential Election Humor, Campaign Satire

What did we learn from last night’s debate?  That (unlike Hillary Clinton) Barack Obama falls apart when he finally encounters a hostile press. 

As the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Dick Polman observes, Obama was “shaken, rattled and rolled” at the ABC debate.  So, is this the kind of candidate you want opposing John “Media Pal” McCain in the general election? 

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Dear Barack Obama: Last Night Is What Happens When You Drink Your Own Kool-Aid
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The man with the tongue made of gold
Under pressure last night seemed to fold.
His supporters excuse him—
Claim press guys abuse him.
Words matter. Barack’s? Oversold!

Technorati Tags: ABC Pennsylvania Presidential Debate, Senator Obama, Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Senator Clinton, Hostile Press, Senator McCain

Hey, cable honchos. Before lambasting Hillary for “failing to fact check,” you might consider dabbling in some fact checking yourselves.

I’m referring, of course, to the media’s dead hospital patient mock-fest and, more broadly, to the “Gore-ing” of Hillary Clinton.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Biased Journalists And Bloggers, Heal Thyselves
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In cov’rage quite sloppy at best,
The press attacked Hill’ry with zest,
Disputing her facts.
But ’twas they who were lax.
Cuz if Clinton says east they say west.

Technorati Tags: Biased Bloggers, Sloppy Journalists, Senator Clinton, Press Fact Checking, Presidential Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Health Humor, Media Limerick

As you surely know by now, Air America host Randi Rhodes has been suspended for calling both Geraldine Ferraro and Hillary Clinton “whores” and describing Hillary with more f-words than I could manage to count in this clip of her performance.  Just one question: This was supposed to be comedy?

Ode To Randi “Queen of Obscene” Rhodes
By Madeleine Begun Kane

That performance by Randi ain’t pretty.
Calling Hill’ry a whore’s hardly witty.
Hurling f-bombs galore
About Hill.  What a bore!
She’s suspended? This blog has no pity.

Technorati Tags: Randi Rhodes, Air America Radio, Randi’s F-words, Senator Clinton, Geraldine Ferraro, Rhodes Suspension, Tasteless Humor, Media Humor, Presidential Campaign Verse

An Ode To Lefty Bloggers Who Hate Hillary (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama supporters proclaim
That Clinton must quit, hurling blame,
Shrieking “Stop this damn fray!”
Dems love fighters, they say.
But not if the fighter’s a dame.

UPDATE: After posting this, I went searching for some bloggers who are rational on the subject of Clinton and Obama. Here’s what I found:

Take Your Boobs And Go Home Watch
Heh
Krugman Reads His Hillary
Obama Likes GOP Foreign Policy
Obama To Blame If The Dem Contest Goes To The Convention
Dear Democratic Elite: Back Off
It’s going past Denver
The World Is Watching

Technorati Tags: Lefty Blogs Humor, Presidential Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Senator Clinton, Senator Obama, Democrats Limerick, Gender Humor, White House Verse

Presidential Election Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

While pundits bloviate,
Candidates exaggerate,
Flirt with fourth estate
And would-be running mate.

They travel multi-state,
Wooing pools of voter-bait.
Think the Oval’s their fate.
Hardly ever talk straight.

Their resumes inflate.
They claim opponents don’t rate.
Prez debates?  Not great.
November 5th —  can’t wait!

Technorati Tags: Campaign Satire, Presidential Election Humor, White House Poetry

Smearing Hillary,
Ignoring Barack’s foibles.
Must edit blogroll.

(For more on HCDS (Hillary Clinton Derangement Syndrome) read Left Coaster;  Hillary Clinton’s Internet Director Challenges Bloggers To Cover Obama Campaign Tactics;  Sherry Chandler;  Pro-Hillary Writers On Strike At Daily Kos;  Avedon Carol;  Obama News Anchor;  Carpetbagger Report;  Pen-Elayne;  Chalice Chick; and  Gene Lyons)

Technorati Tags: Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Hillary Haiku, Obama Haiku, Clinton Derangement Syndrome

Barack Obama claims to be battling Hillary Clinton under a new set of political rules. But as Big Tent illustrates, his personal attacks on Clinton sound suspiciously like politics as usual.  And that brings me to my latest haiku:

The new politics,
Courtesy of Obama:
Old rules with feint-job.

Technorati Tags: Senator Obama, Senator Clinton, Campaign Satire, Presidential Election Humor, Obama Haiku, Obama Hypocrisy, Political Rules, Personal Attacks

Predictably, the A-list lefty blog-calls for Hillary to get out of the presidential race have continued, notwithstanding last night’s Hillary Clinton wins. Any minute now, I half-expect to read that Hillary’s refusal to bow out is racist.

Of course, these hand-the-nomination-to-its-rightful-owner rants come from the same bloggers who insist that Obama isn’t sexist and that the media hasn’t been biased against Clinton. (Americablog is but one example and no, I will not link to it.)

Apparently, these bloggers can’t wait for the media to turn its biased dirty tricks on Obama.  Because that’s exactly what will happen if/when Clinton is out of the picture:

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

The press guys can’t wait to declare
That Clinton’s kaput on the air.
Then they’ll turn on Barack:
They’ll malign and they’ll mock
Him, the way they hit Hill’ry. Beware!

Technorati Tags: Presidential Politics, Lefty Bloggers, Press Bias, Media Sexism, Racist Accusations, Senator Clinton, Senator Obama, Media Humor

Some recent Barack Obama comments reminded me of a personal essay on subtle sexism I wrote way back in 1990.  And while that might sound like ancient history, my essay, published under various titles including Gender At Work and My Most Attractive Adversary, is the lead Gender Gap chapter essay in a pair of current (2008) textbooks by Gary Goshgarian:  The Contemporary Reader and Readings For Today.

In his introduction to my essay, Northeastern University English Professor Goshgarian observes:

Women may seem to have made tremendous progress professionally and academically, but they are held back by indirect sexist comments and attitudes. They are caught in a catch-22.  If they react against these seemingly small slights, they appear to be overreacting or too sensitive. But to let them pass may signal that such comments are somehow acceptable.  In the next essay, humorist and self-described “recovering lawyer” Madeleine Begun Kane holds that subtle sexism maintains gender differences.

And that brings me to this subtly sexist Obama comment, made in response to Hillary Clinton attacks:

You challenge the status quo and suddenly the claws come out.

And to this even more offensive line:

I understand that Senator Clinton, periodically when she’s feeling down, launches attacks as a way of trying to boost her appeal.

“Claws come out?” “Periodically?”  “Feeling down?” These words are more subtle than the B-word, I suppose. But they are sexist, nonetheless. 

So where’s the blogger outrage over Obama’s sexism?  Lots of luck finding it among the A-list bloggers — the male ones, at least. They have a much better time of it interpreting everything the Clinton team does as racist. 

Sure, there’s some great commentary about Obama’s sexism over at Taylor Marsh’s blog and at Talk Left. But in the main, Obama’s getting a gender bias-pass.

Meanwhile, many educated young women, who apparently take the accomplishments of feminism for granted, are supporting Obama’s candidacy over Hillary Clinton.

You know what those young women could use?  A good gender studies course.  Because sexism, after all, isn’t ancient history.

(For the lighter side of gender issues, you can find my feminist humor here.)

Technorati Tags: Subtle Sexism, Senator Obama, Presidential Election, Bloggers & Gender, Senator Clinton

The impression I’ve been getting lately is that every barb and criticism aimed at Obama is almost bound to be characterized as racist by Obama surrogates.

Isn’t there something wrong when a candidate (or commentator) has to fear the racism card each time he/she says something negative about a black candidate? Something that would be just fine to say about a white one?

And shouldn’t Obama be required to meet criticisms on the merits? Everyone else is … or certainly should be. Not only does this better serve the voters, but it also helps candidates prepare for the general election.

By cloaking himself in a coat of black Teflon, Obama belittles genuine racial grievances and stifles real debate. He even demeans himself.

And now, a limerick:

Is Black The New Teflon?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama’s campaign has an ace:
It’s a joker, that card they call race.  
Every Hill-team critique
Draws their racism-pique.
Can’t attack him: He’s black! That’s their case.

Technorati Tags: Obama Commentary, Race Card, Election Racism, Racist Accusations, Campaign Satire

“Hillary cried,”
The media lied.
Who’s crying now?

Technorati Tags: Hillary Clinton Verse, Hillary Poetry, Media Humor, Campaign Satire, Election Humor

Did you see Rudy Giuliani giggle his way through that Tim Russert interview?  It was a lot like Hillary Clinton’s cackle-fest, only an octave higher. And the two candidates have something else in common — they’re both slipping in the polls.  But don’t worry — they can always get work as a laugh track.

*****

Did you hear any of Oprah’s Obama speeches?  That woman’s one hell of an actress!  She actually had me believing she’s black.

*****

Note: I’ve been emboldened to attempt political joke writing, after having my first joke published in the Charlotte Observer, (reprinted from Daniel Kurtzman’s political joke collection in About.com.)

Speaking of Dan Kurtzman, I’ve been meaning to mention his very funny book again: How To Win A Fight With A Conservative would make a wonderful holiday gift!  And be sure to buy a copy for yourself too.

Can’t wait for Dan’s wonderful humor to arrive in the mail? His Conservative Insult Generator should tide you over till you get your hands on his book.

And while I’m recommending funny political gifts, I also love my 2008 George W. Bush Out Of Office Countdown Wall Calendar.

Technorati Tags: Giuliani Joke, Hillary Clinton Joke, Hillary’s Laugh, Rudy’s Giggle, Tim Russert, NBC, Meet The Press, Political Gifts, Dan Kurtzman, Bush Calendar, Political Jokes, Oprah Humor, Obama Humor

I’ve been playing around with creating short video clips and I’ve finally succeeded.  So if you’d like to see me tell a joke I wrote about Hillary Clinton and the issue of drivers licenses for illegal aliens, here it is. 

Warning: It took me so long to figure out the video technology, that my Clinton joke is a bit stale. I’ll try to be more timely the next time I do this sort of thing.

 

 Hillary Clinton & Illegal Aliens [0:29m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (2708)

Technorati Tags: Political Humor Video, Hillary Clinton Joke, Governor Spitzer, Illegal Aliens, Drivers Licenses

I’ve noticed that many reporters and talking heads are almost giddy over Hillary Clinton’s recent stumbles and the rumored return of Barack Obama’s mojo. The obvious reason is that the longer it takes Hillary (or someone else) to lock up the Democratic Presidential nomination, the less boring it is for those who are covering the race.  But I think there’s something else at play here.  And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Why Are These Journalists Smiling?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Clinton’s stumbled,” they breathlessly say.
Yes, she’s made many journalists’ day.
It’s a horse race again,
So these women and men
Can avoid talking issues — hurray!

Technorati Tags: Journalists Humor, Reporters Satire, Media Humor, Hillary Clinton Stumbles, Senator Barack Obama, Presidential Race, Campaigns, Elections

This is starting to get silly. It seems like every other day, Barack Obama promises to bolster his lagging poll numbers by changing his campaign style and getting tough on Hillary Clinton.  But even when Obama tries to challenge Hillary, his speech is so droning, so professorial, so lacking in emotion, that his “attacks” fall flat.  Hell, Obama often sounds like John Kerry on Quaaludes.

And that brings me to my Barack Obama haiku:

I’ll be more forceful
Against Hillary Clinton.
I mean it this time.

(Inspired in part by this haiku prompt. You can find more of my news haiku here.)

Technorati Tags: Barack Obama Poem, Hillary Clinton, Presidential Campaign Humor, Election Humor

Watching Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama duke it out for the title “Democrat Most Likely To Start Another War” might be funny, were it not quite so disturbing.  However, it does remind me of a certain old Saturday Night Live sketch:

(You can find my anti-war song parodies and verse here.)

Technorati Tags: Hillary Clinton Humor, Barack Obama Humor, Macho Candidates,  Presidential Campaign, Election 2008, War-Mongering, SNL, Saturday Night Live