Trump staffers’ main job is to mask
Donald’s bullshit as truth; that’s their task.
So when queried, they lie
And distort and deny…
Till we wearily reach for a flask.
Posts Tagged ‘President Trump’
Trump staffers’ main job is to mask
I’m avoiding the April Fools’ fuss
Cuz I’d rather just glower and cuss;
Dour Donald’s in power
And life has grown sour.
It seems that the joke is on US!
This tweet from Alex Burns (New York Times & CNN) inspired a limerick. How? It made me realize that Trump’s anti-Freedom Caucus rants may actually help its members:
“Please, sir, don’t massively elevate us as the scourge of the mainline Republican Party.” Does anyone hear the Freedom Caucus saying this?
While it’s true that Trump clearly outranks
The Republican wingnuts, he tanks
When he threatens the Caucus
Called “Freedom.” His raucous
Attacks might just make them say, “Thanks!”
Our government once was divided,
A condition Republicans chided.
They would gripe and they’d grouse:
“Ruling Senate and House
Ain’t enough. Give us power three-sided.”
Then it happened — their guy beat our dame!
Now with White House control they’re aflame
To alter our laws
By inserting new flaws
Right away — helping rich folks, their aim.
They began with “repeal and replace,”
An action they vowed they would ace;
First they’d get full control,
Then they’d easily roll
All the Dems — this they promised their base.
But the bill that was key to their game
Has been pulled to the GOP’s shame.
Who’s at fault? No, not Trump,
Nor Paul Ryan. The Grump
Claims the powerless Dems are to blame.
Poor Donald has sacrificed valuable golfing time for his Obamacare-repeal ̶i̶n̶t̶i̶m̶i̶d̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶s̶ negotiation. But Trump’s failed so far, and the vote’s been postponed.
Dear Donald, you say you’re a closer
And a deal-making, ground-breaking dozer.
But your arm-twisting tries
And Obamacare lies
Haven’t worked. Are you naught but a poser?
Time’s Michael Scherer has a cover story which asks the question: “Can President Trump Handle the Truth?” Before I get to my limerick, here’s his last paragraph:
Before he got off the phone, I tried one more time to get Trump to answer a question about the risk to his reputation caused by false and ever changing utterances. Once again, he would not accept the premise. “Hey, look,” he said. “I can’t be doing so badly, because I’m President and you’re not.” As a factual matter, the last part of this statement is indisputably true. And with that, he graciously said goodbye and went back to running the affairs of the most powerful country in the world.
Trump’s presidency is a mess,
But to Donald, his reign’s a success.
Here’s his proof (and it’s squat):
“I’m the prez, and you’re not.”
(This is Trump being nice to the press.)
Self-aggrandizing lies are the norm
From the Donald; each falsehood-filled storm
Sows confusion and doubt,
Which he can’t do without.
How to shore up support? Disinform!
Though the calendar tells me it’s spring,
My morale won’t allow me to sing
Because winter’s forever;
King Trump holds the lever…
And he’s razing our nation for bling.
The reviews for Trump’s speech, in the main,
Were swell, cuz he seemed to be sane:
He read his speech well;
Did not rant, rave, or yell.
What a low bar we’ve set for his reign.
Trump actually said (on ‘Fox and Friends’) “I have a very thick skin.” Wow! I feel a limerick coming:
When Trump feels disparaged, he’s quick
To behave like a bullying prick.
Yet he keeps a straight face,
While making the case
That the skin on his bod’s “very thick.”
Although Trump has circulated a bullet point outline of tomorrow night’s speech, here’s what I’m expecting:
Please get ready for Donald to speak
Before Congress on Tuesday this week,
Where he’ll beef about press
And he’ll shriek “We’re a mess,
Only I can address!” (That’s my “leak.”)
Have you noticed Trump’s habit of picking random fights with allies? Even France is rightfully peeved at the Donald for Trump’s Paris rant, which included this gem:
“Paris? I don’t go there anymore. Paris is no longer Paris,” Trump quoted his friend as saying.
Donald thoughtlessly tends to digress
Into statements that cause allies stress.
Watch his Cabinet Secs
As they turn into wrecks,
While attempting to clean up each mess.
Is Trump too cowardly to attend the annual White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner? So it appears, and nobody’s shedding tears.
White House journalists gather each year
To dine on political cheer,
Where the President jests
And is mocked by some guests.
But Trump’s chicken! He’s bailed — won’t appear.
Today’s Washington Post headline cries out for a limerick:
Donald Trump’s streak of falsehoods now stands at 33 days
Donald Trump has been president for all or part of 33 days. He has averaged four falsehoods or misleading statements a day(!) in that time. There hasn’t been a single day of Trump’s presidency in which he has said nothing false or misleading.
As Donald spouts stats that ain’t real,
Here’s one grounded in fact Trump won’t feel
Any impulse to tout:
Daily lies from the lout
Av’rage four — Donald’s Artifice Deal.
A “fine-tuned machine” — that’s how Trump
Says his White House is running. That shlump
Lies as much as he breathes,
As with venom he’s seethes,
While rebranding the White House: “Trump’s Sump.”
Will Conway be punished? Don’t curse,
When I tell you that life is perverse;
Her Ivanka commercial
That’s so controversial
Is fine with her boss … who’s done worse.
Trump exhibits his madness with ease,
Via speeches and tweet-tantrum sprees.
Donald’s saneness is wee
And he’s vain as can be.
It’s as plain as his gold Trump marquees.
My 4-verse limerick was inspired by this Politico article, headlined:
Trump vexed by challenges, scale of government
The new president’s allies say he has been surprised that government can’t be run like his business.
About running the gov, Trump knows nought.
It’s much harder than #FumblingTrump thought,
Though supporters were told
That this CEO, bold,
Was equipped for the job that he sought.
It seems Trump and his voters believe
That all that it takes to achieve
What he wants is to say:
“Make it so! Find a way!”
And it’s done, at a magic wand’s heave.
But instead, Trump encounters delay;
Many lawmakers stand in his way,
Also bureaucrat drudges
And treacherous judges.
So he vows that he’ll soon make them pay.
Donald stews and he bitches and rails
And keeps posting his tweet-storming wails.
Yes, our nation’s now run
By a son of a gun —
A madman who only knows sales.