Archive for the ‘Legal Limericks’ Category

Sidney Powell’s Risible Defense (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2021

The basis for Sidney Powell’s defense in the Dominion defamation case is that her claims about Dominion were too wacko to be believed by reasonable people.

Sidney Powell’s defense to the suit
For defaming Dominion’s a hoot:
Since her claims re Dominion
Were dubious opinion,
The judge has to boot the dispute.

Trump On The Defense? (Limerick)

Sunday, January 31st, 2021

From CNN: “Former President Donald Trump’s five impeachment defense attorneys have left a little more than a week before his trial is set to begin…”

“Mass election fraud — that’s my defense,”
Insisted the Donald, intense.
So his lawyers all quit:
“We’re not selling that shit!”
Donald’s lie ain’t just “big.” It’s immense!

Georgia On His Mind (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 5th, 2021

Headline: “Judge Shoots Down Last-Ditch Trump Lawsuit Looking to Overturn Georgia Loss”

Poor Donald keeps losing in court;
Filing spurious suits is his forte.
Each “disgraceful” court loss
Makes him bitter and cross,
As Trump’s time in the Oval grows short.

The Haunting (Limerick)

Thursday, December 10th, 2020

Trump’s falsehoods, complaints, and self-praise
And his fraudulent suits haunt our days:
“Stop The Steal!” he demands
And as “RINOS” rebrands
Those whose “nays” thwart his law-breaking ways.

Yet Another “If Trump Could Write Limericks”

Tuesday, October 6th, 2020

Headline: “Trump Halts Pandemic Relief Negotiations”

No relief bill this month, on reflection,
Cuz the Senate’s sole job’s my selection
For our land’s highest bench.
Judge Amy’s a wench
Who has earned my support and affection.

Our Lawless President (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 24th, 2019

Trump delays and defies and he sues;
His flawed policy’s thwart and refuse.
Tell him “Follow the law,”
And he’ll yell or guffaw.
Don’t believe it? Try reading real news.

Limerick Ode To Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Friday, March 8th, 2019

Justice Ginsburg’s birthday is coming up on March 15th, and I couldn’t resist writing her a limerick. In fact, I even snail-mailed her a copy. Remember snail-mail?

Here it is:

Happy birthday dear Ruth. You’re the best!
You have met ev’ry challenge and test
With zest, brains, and class,
Plus just enough brass…
While the President feathers his nest.

Trump V. Chief Justice Roberts (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

Headline: “Trump Resumes Feud with Chief Justice”

Though the Donald can carp, bash, and mock,
He will find he lacks power to block
Or to fire this man:
Justice Roberts. Can’t ban
The Chief Justice. Trump’s in for a shock.

Unconstitutional Stench of Whitaker Appointment (Limerick)

Monday, November 19th, 2018

Headline: “Senate Democrats Sue to Block Whitaker Appointment”

Will a judge block Matt Whitaker’s rise
To Acting A.G.? I surmise
His appointment’s unlawful–
Unspeakably awful…
But just fine in Trump-bootlicker eyes.

Limerick Ode To Brett a/k/a Bart

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2018

A fellow named Brett, nicknamed “Bart”
Apparently thinks he’s so smart;
He feels free to pretend
“Bart O’Kavanaugh” penned
By his friend ain’t “Bart” K at its heart.

The Trials Of Manafort (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 7th, 2018

The Manafort trial’s underway,
With evidence damning. Hooray!
So will Paul cop a plea
And cooperate? Gee,
I’ll bet Donald is praying for “nay.”

Precedent Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Sunday, July 1st, 2018

Slate Headline: “Sen. Collins: Supreme Court Nominee ‘Who Would Overturn Roe Would Not Be Acceptable’”

Rubber stampers like Collins and co
Grab a mike and then put on a show:
“I’m a precedent fan,”
They claim to a man.
Then they vote for the guy who kills Roe.

A Discordant Note (Limerick)

Saturday, June 30th, 2018

Some look at our system with awe,
But the man who keeps breaking the law
Gets to help load the court
With wingnuts who’ll thwart
Donald’s punishment. Rather a flaw!

That Mitch Is Quite A Stitch! (Limerick)

Thursday, June 28th, 2018

The Week: “Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said Wednesday that the Senate will ‘vote to confirm’ the successor of outgoing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy ‘this fall,’ adding that ‘it’s imperative that the president’s nominee be treated fairly.'”

Mitch McConnell says Dems must be fair
When it’s time to fill Kennedy’s chair.
Forget fairness; send coal
To the Leader who stole
Our great Court. Tell that thief “This is guerre!”

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Sunday, May 6th, 2018

Dear Trump, Rudy’s “help” you don’t need.
I don’t know why you ever agreed
To let the guy rep you.
At best he will schelp you
To prison with mind-blowing speed.

Farewell To John Dowd (Limerick)

Thursday, March 22nd, 2018

Trump’s lawyers are frequently nayed
And their Mueller advice disobeyed.
Donald’s gut rules his mind,
So John Dowd has resigned.
I wish the man luck getting paid!

Sundry Trump Limericks & More

Thursday, September 28th, 2017

*****

Politico Headline of the Day: “Trump takes on a new cause: ‘Make the United Nations great'”

I don’t think we can take any more greatness.

*****

This headline deserves a limerick: “Price cut — Health Secy quits after Trump complains of travel ‘optics’”

Price is OUT! Why is Donald so mad?
It’s NOT that Tom’s plane use was bad.
Yes those charters were pricey,
But THAT’S not what’s dicey;
Trump’s upset by the “optics.” Egad!

*****

Trump’s hired a notoriously poor succession of personal lawyers since RussiaGate began. My limerick explains why.

The best lawyers prefer to be paid
YUUUUGE fees, right on time, for their aid,
And they’re bound to be miffed
When they find themselves stiffed…
Which explains why Trump’s DON’T make the grade.

*****

A 2-verse limerick about Trump’s retweeting a vile animation, described here by the LA Times:

“In the first part of the animation Trump retweeted on Sunday, the president is seen in golf attire, teeing off. The second shows footage of Clinton tripping as she boards a plane, with the video altered to show her being struck in the back with a golf ball.”

What’s it take to make Donald feel tough,
Like a fellow who has the right stuff?
Being seen with a swing
That’s so strong, he can fling
A ball, knocking Hill to her duff.

Nothing else can explain his retweet
Of a golf gif that Donald finds neat–
Animation conveying
Misogyny saying:
Striking women at will can’t be beat!

Limerick Ode To Would-Be-Dictator Donald

Monday, February 6th, 2017

Would-be-Dictator Donald’s upset;
Checks and balances pose quite the threat,
Cuz some courts have said, “No!
He’s been trumped. What a blow!
Seems he doesn’t own judges … just yet.

Trump’s Tweet-Monitors Won’t Let Him Post This Limerick

Wednesday, February 1st, 2017

There is NO Muslim ban, and Dem tears
Are fake and deserve all our sneers!
And how dare they deplore such
A great guy as Gorsuch!
If they block him, I’ll nuke their careers!

A New Gig For “Word Salad” Sarah

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2016

“Sarah Palin Developing Her Own Judge Judy-Style Reality Show”

Judge Palin? Please say it ain’t so.
Don’t panic. Supreme Court’s no go;
Not a judge in real life,
Simply legal case strife
On TV, a Judge-Judyish show.

Damn! I was so hoping she’d be The Donald’s running mate.