Archive for the ‘Legal Limericks’ Category

Trump, The Extortionist (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 30th, 2022

Headline: “Trump Is Trying To Extort America”

Donald Trump is so desp’rate to thwart
Prosecution, he’s apt to resort
To additional crimes,
Like extortion ofttimes;
Indict Trump! Get that felon to court!

Trump’s Legal Quandary (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 17th, 2022

Washington Post Headline: “Trump is rushing to hire seasoned lawyers — but he keeps hearing ‘No’”

Trump’s in great legal trouble. Hooray!
He needs aid on the double — today!
But attorneys with skill
Won’t bend to his will;
The response he keeps getting is NAY!

Garland v. Trump

Thursday, August 11th, 2022

Dear Donald, it seems that your bluff
Has been called, and in you’re in quite the huff.
Garland’s move to unseal
That warrant? Big deal!
Seems you’ve shot yourself right in the duff.

Trump’s Trumped-Up Victimhood (Limerick)

Thursday, August 11th, 2022

Donald’s so-called “unjustified raid”
Was approved by a judge. Don’t be played!
T’s were crossed. I’s were dotted.
His crimes have been spotted.
Our nation by Trump’s been betrayed.

My Open Limerick-Letter To Would-Be Trump Attorneys

Tuesday, August 9th, 2022

Trump’s besieged and (I’ve heard) on the hunt
For lawyers to take on the stunt
Of defending his ass.
Dear Esqs, you should pass…
Or at least get full payment up front.

The Grifter Strikes Again (Limerick)

Monday, August 8th, 2022

Dear Donald, I see that once more,
You’re begging for dollars galore.
I’m amused that you claim
It’s for lawsuits. How lame!
Bills from lawyers are bills you ignore.

Pence Ain’t A Saint (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

Headline: “Pence: ‘We must not rest’ until abortion is outlawed in every state”

On One/Six, Pence behaved like a man;
He helped scuttle Trump’s scurrilous plan.
But enough with the praise!
Re abortion, he’d raze
Women’s rights with a nationwide ban.

“Thanking” Trump For Dobbs (Limerick)

Sunday, June 26th, 2022

Headline: “Trump takes credit for Dobbs decision but worries it ‘won’t help him in the future'”

The Donald takes credit for Dobbs.
Does he merit such “credit?” Yes, gobs!
The three judges he picked
For SCOTUS have kicked
Gals back ages … and that was their jobs.

My Roe v. Wade Rant (2-Verse Limerick)

Friday, June 24th, 2022

Five SCOTUS extremists decreed
In a dastardly GOP screed
That Roe v. Wade’s dead.
So it’s “Off with her head”
For pro-choicers, no matter the need.

If you value our lost right to choose,
You must vote; forget whining and booze.
Your life’s on the line!
Dump the GOP swine
And make sure all Republicans lose!

Supreme Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Saturday, March 26th, 2022

Dana Milbank’s column about “counterfeit commoners” inspired this two-verse limerick:

With hypocrisy Cotton’s replete,
As he trashes the “legal elite”
At Judge Brown Jackson’s hearing,
His rhetoric searing
With “Fake Commoner” Cotton deceit.

It appears that Tom Cotton forgot
His two Harvard degrees. Oh, what rot!
One’s in gov., one’s in law.
Is “eliteness” a flaw?
Then he has it, which hampers his plot.

Jackasses Attack Jackson (Limerick)

Thursday, March 24th, 2022

The Republicans’ racist attacks
On Brown Jackson ignored all the facts.
And their dog whistle smears
Even pissed off some peers:
Sasse assessment? “Jackassery” acts.

Political Haiku Trio 1

Friday, December 31st, 2021

Is Joe President?
That depends on who you ask.
Democracy weeps.

Right-wing Justices:
“When we like what the State does,
States’ Rights must prevail.”

If the unvaxxed die,
And allies don’t believe it,
Are they really dead?

Sidney Powell’s Risible Defense (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2021

The basis for Sidney Powell’s defense in the Dominion defamation case is that her claims about Dominion were too wacko to be believed by reasonable people.

Sidney Powell’s defense to the suit
For defaming Dominion’s a hoot:
Since her claims re Dominion
Were dubious opinion,
The judge has to boot the dispute.

Trump On The Defense? (Limerick)

Sunday, January 31st, 2021

From CNN: “Former President Donald Trump’s five impeachment defense attorneys have left a little more than a week before his trial is set to begin…”

“Mass election fraud — that’s my defense,”
Insisted the Donald, intense.
So his lawyers all quit:
“We’re not selling that shit!”
Donald’s lie ain’t just “big.” It’s immense!

Georgia On His Mind (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 5th, 2021

Headline: “Judge Shoots Down Last-Ditch Trump Lawsuit Looking to Overturn Georgia Loss”

Poor Donald keeps losing in court;
Filing spurious suits is his forte.
Each “disgraceful” court loss
Makes him bitter and cross,
As Trump’s time in the Oval grows short.

The Haunting (Limerick)

Thursday, December 10th, 2020

Trump’s falsehoods, complaints, and self-praise
And his fraudulent suits haunt our days:
“Stop The Steal!” he demands
And as “RINOS” rebrands
Those whose “nays” thwart his law-breaking ways.

Yet Another “If Trump Could Write Limericks”

Tuesday, October 6th, 2020

Headline: “Trump Halts Pandemic Relief Negotiations”

No relief bill this month, on reflection,
Cuz the Senate’s sole job’s my selection
For our land’s highest bench.
Judge Amy’s a wench
Who has earned my support and affection.

Our Lawless President (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 24th, 2019

Trump delays and defies and he sues;
His flawed policy’s thwart and refuse.
Tell him “Follow the law,”
And he’ll yell or guffaw.
Don’t believe it? Try reading real news.

Limerick Ode To Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Friday, March 8th, 2019

Justice Ginsburg’s birthday is coming up on March 15th, and I couldn’t resist writing her a limerick. In fact, I even snail-mailed her a copy. Remember snail-mail?

Here it is:

Happy birthday dear Ruth. You’re the best!
You have met ev’ry challenge and test
With zest, brains, and class,
Plus just enough brass…
While the President feathers his nest.

Trump V. Chief Justice Roberts (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

Headline: “Trump Resumes Feud with Chief Justice”

Though the Donald can carp, bash, and mock,
He will find he lacks power to block
Or to fire this man:
Justice Roberts. Can’t ban
The Chief Justice. Trump’s in for a shock.