Archive for the ‘Legal Limericks’ Category
Monday, October 19th, 2009
Last week I managed to avoid the Balloon Boy media frenzy. Reality show participants with an endangered child on an AWOL helium balloon? Yeah … right. Then again, I don’t spend my time watching kids being rescued from wells either.
In any event, I’m not surprised that Wife Swap participants (and reality TV series pitchers) Richard and Mayumi Heene may be arrested for “concocting a publicity stunt by pretending that their young son [Falcon] had climbed aboard a homemade helium balloon and was hurtling through the skies above Fort Collins, Colo.”
The Heenes’ lawyer David Lane expects the Larimer County Sheriff’s Office to file charges this week, and Denver man Robert Thomas says Richard Heene gave him advance word of a media stunt.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Heinous Heenes?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Two publicity mongers named Heene
Are accused of a hoax quite obscene:
Claimed their wayward balloon
Held their child. Opportune
For a shot at “reality” green.
Update: I’ve heard the Heenes’ name pronounced three different ways, two of which screw up my rhyme scheme. Since I’m not sure which pronunciation is correct, I guess I’ll leave my limerick up as written.
Tags: Balloon Boy, Colorado, David Lane, FAA, Falcon Heene, Mayumi Heene, Media, Publicity, Reality TV, Richard Heene, Robert Thomas, Weather Balloons, Wife Swap
Posted in Celebrity Verse, Crime, Entertainment Humor, Hi Tech Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Non-Political Humor, Non-Political Verse, Science Verse, Television (TV) Satire, Transportation Safety, Weather Satire | 3 Comments »
Sunday, July 19th, 2009
After a tough day at work you climb into bed, reach for a paperback book, and find that your nightstand reading material is gone, replaced with a credit for the purchase price. After some digging you learn that paperback copies of the novel you’re in the middle of reading have been repossessed by your local bookshop.
Inconceivable, right? Credit or no credit, invading the privacy of your home and taking a book without your permission would surely constitute one or more crimes.
Now imagine the same scenario, but with an e-book instead of a paperback — an e-book you purchased for your Kindle. That’s exactly what Amazon did to 1984 and Animal Farm buyers.
Repossession via electronic invasion of privacy. If it isn’t a crime, it sure as hell ought to be.
Kindle Swindle? (3 Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Have you noticed your e-book list dwindle?
You’re probably using a Kindle.
A book that you bought
Has turned into naught —
Replaced with a refund. No swindle?
Yet the seller invaded your house.
And did it by clicking a mouse.
Something’s there. Then it’s not.
(An Orwellian plot?)
You’re surely entitled to grouse.
The fact that your money’s returned.
Doesn’t mean that you haven’t been burned.
Your privacy rights
Are gone with those bytes.
This vendor deserves to be spurned.
Update: Some updated information from the New York Times:
An Amazon spokesman, Drew Herdener, said in an e-mail message that the books were added to the Kindle store by a company that did not have rights to them, using a self-service function. “When we were notified of this by the rights holder, we removed the illegal copies from our systems and from customers’ devices, and refunded customers,” he said.
Amazon effectively acknowledged that the deletions were a bad idea. “We are changing our systems so that in the future we will not remove books from customers’ devices in these circumstances,” Mr. Herdener said.
Update 2: If you would like to read this political satire blog on your Kindle device, you can subscribe right here.
If you would like to read my other general humor blog on your Kindle reader you can subscribe right here.
And my limerick about firewalls, blogging and Kindles is here.
Tags: 1984, Amazon, Animal Farm, Bookstores, Crime, E-books, Electronic Theft, George Orwell, Home Invasion, Invasion of Privacy, Kindles, Law Satire, Paperbacks, Publishers, Repossession
Posted in Books, Crime, Hi Tech Humor, Kindle Politics, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Non-Political Humor, Non-Political Verse, Privacy Humor, Technology Humor | 7 Comments »
Monday, June 15th, 2009
Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell. Just Sign! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Obama, our nation can’t wait.
Please stop ousting the folks who ain’t straight.
Yes, we know your plate’s full,
But I’m sorry — that’s bull!
Sign a “stop-loss.” How long can it take?
Tags: DADT, Gays, Limericks, Military, Obama, Stop-Loss
Posted in Barack Obama, Don't Ask Don't Tell Humor, Gay Rights, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Military Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 3 Comments »
Thursday, June 4th, 2009
Republicans have no shortage of things to fulminate about. One of their favorites? The General Motors bankruptcy:
Bankrupt Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An auto co known as GM
In the past was considered a gem.
It’s in bankruptcy now.
Will that hurt? Yes, and how!
But the GOP’s goal? Blame the Dem!
(You can find my lighter car humor columns and limericks here.)
Tags: Automobiles, Bankruptcy, Blame, Cars, Democrats, Economy, Finance, General Motors, GM, GOP, Law Satire, Money, Obama, Republicans Humor, Values
Posted in Automobiles Satire, Barack Obama, Blame Game, Business Humor, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | No Comments »
Sunday, May 3rd, 2009
Nothing brings out Republican hypocrisy like a nice, juicy U.S. Supreme Court vacancy. Take Karl Rove, for instance, on Obama’s potential nominees to replace Justice David Souter:
Karl Rove rails against the possible nomination of Judge Sonia Sotomayor because “her opinions…have been very liberal.” But when Sandra Day O’Connor retired, Rove said the opposition has a responsibility to approve judges who are qualified, even if they disagree with their views.
And that brings me to my latest double limerick:
Karl’s Roving Standards
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rove’s memory’s certainly short.
Back when dealing with names for the Court,
He said Dems must not nix
Any Bush judgeship picks
Based on views that they failed to support.
But now that the tables are turned,
He says Dem nominees must be spurned
If Republicans think
That their politics stink.
Consistency? Karl? Unconcerned!
Tags: Bush, David Souter, Hypocrisy, Judiciary Satire, Karl Rove, Obama, Republicans Humor, Sandra Day O’Connor, Sotomayor, Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Hypocrisy Humor, Karl Rove, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
The (I hope) soon-to-be-ex-Senator Roland Burris is quite the word weasel, isn’t he? So I thought I’d join the calls for his resignation with my latest limerick:
Ode To Roland Burris
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Roland, you ought to resign,
And impeachment’s your due, so don’t whine.
But the news ain’t all bad:
Though you lied, you can add
Your short Senator stint to your shrine.
Tags: Chicago, Congress Satire, Democrats, Illinois, Impeachment, Law Satire, Liars, Memorials, News, Resignation, Roland Burris, Senate Humor, Shrine, Weasels
Posted in Congress Humor, Democrats Satire, Impeachment Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Senate Satire, Washington | No Comments »
Monday, February 16th, 2009
If you ever republish your posts on Facebook, you may want to reconsider because of Facebook’s new, perpetual rights-grabbing TOS change.
I have information about this on my other blog plus … of course … a Facebook Face Off limerick.
Tags: Facebook
Posted in Blogging Advice, Hi Tech Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Non-Political Humor, Non-Political Verse, Technology Humor | No Comments »
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
According to Fred Thompson, Sarah Palin’s inability to name a single Supreme Court case she disagrees with wasn’t her fault. Why not? Because Katie Couric didn’t give her a list of cases. I half-expected Thompson to demand a do-over test.
A Do-Over Supreme Court Test For Palin?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re excused, dear Ms. Palin. Rejoice!
Now that Thompson has lent you his voice,
The court case-test you flunked
Has been strongly debunked
As unfair — wasn’t multiple choice.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Do-Over Tests, Election Humor, Fred Thompson, Governor Palin, Katie Couric, Legal Humor, Presidential Campaign, Supreme Court Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, Supreme Court | 4 Comments »
Monday, July 14th, 2008
U.S. District Judge Ronald Leighton (Tacoma, Washington) made a big splash recently when he lambasted a legal filing with a limerick. What prompted him to wax poetic? A 465-page complaint in a racketeering lawsuit failed to comply with a federal rule (FRCP 8(a)) requiring legal complaints to be “a short and plain statement of the claim showing that the pleader is entitled to relief.”
Judge Leighton dismissed the complaint and directed attorney Dean Browning Webb to refile it, in an order that included this limerick.
Plaintiff has a great deal to say,
But it seems he skipped Rule 8(a).
His Complaint is too long,
Which renders it wrong,
Please rewrite and refile today.
Although Judge Leighton’s limerick meter is a bit spotty in the first two lines, I think His Honor’s poetic effort deserves a poem in … uh … his honor:
Ode To Judge Ronald Leighton
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Attorneys are often verbose,
Penning legal complaints grandiose,
Writing hundreds pages
And setting off rages
From those who find wordiness gross.
But Judge Leighton showed major restraint
When he ruled on an endless complaint.
In a limerick poem
He said, redo this tome
Cuz in 8(a) compliance it ain’t![tags]Judge Ronald Leighton, FRCP Rule 8(a), Federal Rules Humor, Judicial Humor, Courthouse Verse, Litigation Humor, Racketeering Lawsuit, Poetry, Dean Browning Webb, Legal Complaint[/tags]
Posted in Judge Ronald Leighton, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks | 1 Comment »
Ode To Odious Corporate Personhood
Monday, January 25th, 2010There’s nothing funny about the U.S. Supreme Court’s activist ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. Overruling long-held precedents, it gives corporations free rein to buy political influence, all in the name of “corporate personhood” and “free speech.”
Nor is there anything funny about the hypocrisy of self-described anti-judicial-activism Republicans who laud this calamitous decision.
And, alas, there’s nothing funny about this limerick:
Democracy’s Demise?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Justice Roberts and co are unbound,
Driving precedents precious aground.
Yet Republicans cheer,
And the sobs that we hear
Are the sounds of democracy drowned.
********
Lance Mannion managed to extract some humor from this judicial travesty.
Tags: Campaign Finance Reform, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Democracy, First Amendment, Free Speech, Justice John Roberts, Legal Verse, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, FEC Satire, Free Speech, Hypocrisy Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Supreme Court | 3 Comments »