Archive for the ‘Herman Cain’ Category

“Newtering” Mitt (Limerick)

Monday, December 5th, 2011

No matter which Republican candidate fades or drops out, the poll numbers beneficiary always seems to be Not-Mitt:

In the first national public opinion poll on the GOP presidential candidate contest since Herman Cain suspended his campaign Saturday, our survey finds frontrunner Newt Gingrich with a 14% lead over his closest challenger, Mitt Romney.

“Newtering” Mitt
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m beginning to feel Romney’s pain:
Cain’s loss is Newt Gingrich’s gain.
Though opponents may fade,
Romney just can’t persuade
Their supporters to back his domain.

Herman Cain’s Gone, But The Mockery Carries On (Limerick)

Saturday, December 3rd, 2011

Herman Cain’s Gone, But The Mockery Carries On (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Herman Cain has dropped out of contention
With his primary contest suspension.
But there’s plenty to mock:
Perry’s gaffes and Mitt’s shock
At the cocky Newt Gingrich ascension.

Cain’s Grandstanding Demands (Limerick)

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

I have to laugh at Herman Cain’s audacious demand for the phone records of extra-marital affair accuser Ginger White.

I presume this is just grandstanding. Because Cain’s lawyer, Lin Wood, surely knows that he has no right to those records, except in the course of litigation discovery. In other words, no lawsuit — no phone record fishing expedition.

Cain’s Grandstanding Demands (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

So did Cain break his marital vow?
He’s demanding the phone records now
Of the gal who accused him.
She ought to refuse him:
No lawsuit? No right! Disallow!

Quotable Cain “Limerick”

Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

Here’s my new favorite Republican candidate quote, courtesy of Herman Cain:

“President Obama called for the removal of Gaddafi. Just want to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say, yes I agree, I know I didn’t agree. I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason — no, that’s a different one. I gotta go back to… Got all this stuff twirling around in my head. Specifically, what are you asking me, did I agree or not disagree with on what?”

Quotable Cain (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Herman Cain’s prez campaign isn’t sterling
Cuz stuff in his head keeps on “twirling.”
He’s learned lessons quite tough:
9-9-9 ain’t enough
When harassment accusals are whirling.

Limerick Ode To Herman “Straight Talker” Cain

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

Why Is Mitt Romney smiling? Because Herman Cain keeps revising his version of the sexual harassment accusations, which date back to his time with the National Restaurant Association.

Limerick Ode To Herman “Straight Talker” Cain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney must surely be grinning
Cuz Cain’s having great problems spinning
Some old allegations:
Cain’s changed explanations
Are raising Mitt’s chances of winning.

Eight 4-Liners For The Republican Contenders

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

It’s time for some more political clerihews — whimsically biographical four-line poems, described more fully here.

I’ve written one for each of the would-be presidents who appeared at last night’s Republican debate:

Mass. Governor Mitt,
A job cutting hit.
He flips and he flops,
As positions he swaps.

*****

Herman “9-9-9″ Cain:
(Romney hopes he’ll wane)
Though many think he rocks,
He belongs on Fox.

*****

James Richard Perry:
Is he bright? Not very.
A lousy debater—
Called Bernanke a traitor.

*****

Unhinged Michele
Is sinking pell-mell.
Even crazier than Palin—
Just what is she inhalin’?

*****

Former Speaker Newt,
A pompous beaut.
Purports to be intellectual,
At selling books effectual.

*****

Rick Santorum
Seems lost in this forum.
He’s none too calm
Over his Google Bomb.

*****

Libertarian Ron Paul
Is having a ball.
Doesn’t stand a chance.
But enjoys the dance.

*****

Jon Huntsman jokes
But can not coax
Any support for his reign.
He’s way too sane.

*****

Limerick Ode To Herman Cain

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Herman Cain was interviewed by CBN’s David Brody and uttered this priceless quote regarding his readiness for “gotcha questions:”

“When they ask me who’s the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say you know, I don’t know. Do you know? And then I’m going to say how’s that going to create one job?”

Limerick Ode To Herman Cain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Herman Cain has an answer he’ll lob
At the press in a weave and a bob:
When he’s gotcha-ness leery
He’ll sneer at the query,
“How’s that going to create one job?”