Trump’s Kennedy Center takeover has been nothing short of disastrous. (Cancelled performances, empty seats, unsold tickets, bookers unable to book.) So, in a vain attempt to hide the damage he’s personally caused, Trump announced he’s closing the venue in July for a 2-year renovation. (I guess affixing fake gold takes time.)
Why’s the Kennedy Center soon closing? Cuz Trump WRECKED it; its rep’s decomposing. Most great talent says, “No! Won’t perform there!” And so, It’s near death from a ticket sale hosing.
Washington Post Headline: “New chatbot on Trump’s Truth Social platform keeps contradicting him An ‘answer engine’ on Trump’s social media site says the 2020 election wasn’t stolen, tariffs aren’t boosting the stock market and Barack Obama is seen favorably.”
Truth Social’s confusing Trump’s base; Valid facts somehow entered its space: Seems its chatbot AI’s Been replacing some lies With the truths Trump would rather erase.
Election fraud, tariffs, and crime? Ask the chatbot, and most of the time It rebuts Donald’s view. So will Donald Trump sue His own site? Trump v. Bot! How sublime!
Dear Donald, the war that you’re waging Against Powell (or should I say staging?) Looks foolish, at best. So give it a rest! You (NOT JOE) made him Fed Chair. Quit raging!
Donald’s Big Ugly Bill has been passed. The calamitous die has been cast. Enough holdouts caved in To this national sin, So the suff’ring to come shall be vast.
Headline: “Trump Announces 25% Tariffs on Imported Cars Effective April 2” (NOTE: This includes American brands assembled abroad.)
Do you need a new car? Then don’t wait! Buy it now! Beat that Trump-tariff date. For despite Donald’s scorn, Fine economists warn: Car-price surges will soon be our fate.
My latest political limerick was largely inspired by this CNBC headline: “‘I’m not going to bend at all’: Trump doubles down on tariff plans as stocks sink”
(Not surprisingly, “Trump doubles down on…” is becoming an over-used, albeit exceedingly appropriate, headline phrase.)
Trump is doubling down on his madness, Which increases my anger and sadness. He’s insane and perverse And keeps making things worse. There’s no limit, alas, to his badness.
Axios Headline: “Trump launches meme coin, apparently makes more than $25 billion overnight”
Trump made $25 “yards” overnight With the $TRUMP coin — his new grifting blight. By the way, “yard’s” a billion; No NOT a mere million– Bigly duping the not-very-bright.
The Republicans’ game is a mess. Think they know what they’re doing? (God bless!) At best, they are wreckers. They’re NOT playing checkers. And they’re certainly NOT playing chess!
Upon Elon’s command, Johnson’s bill Was withdrawn. Seems it gives Musk a thrill To rob Trump of his job. And so (yessiree Bob!) Trump and Johnson must swallow this pill.
I just read that Trump’s selling cologne! Brand new grifting from Trump? Hold the phone! I am stunned, simply shocked And amazed, startled, rocked That the thief’s stock of rip-offs has grown!
Hey guitarists, you need a new axe? You like Trump? You’ll be thrilled to the max, Cuz the grifter’s now selling Guitars. There’s no telling What’s next … though my bet’s on the sax.
There’s no law fraudster Trump’s loath to flout! And yet people who claim they’re devout, Keep supporting the grifter, That sleazy shape-shifter. Surely Trump ain’t what “God” is about!
Trump’s fed’ral indictment’s a beaut, Packed with facts very hard to dispute. He may fin’ly be nailed And at long last be jailed! (In the meantime, he’ll raise tons of loot.)
The 14th Amendment is clear, And the time to take action is here. Quash the “ceiling” charade: Our debts must be paid! Kick extortionist pols in the rear!
How’s this for a non-shocker: Ousted House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) is headed to Wall Street. Cantor is “joining investment bank Moelis & Co. as vice chairman and managing director” and “stands to earn $3.4 million in cash and stocks as a signing bonus, with $1.2 million guaranteed in just his first year.”
Limerick Ode To “Poor” Eric Cantor
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though he lost to a Tea Party ranter,
Please feel free to stop weeping for Cantor,
Cuz he’s striking it rich.
Ain’t his life just a bitch?
Wall Street moolah is quite the enchanter.
I go out of my way to avoid meeting candidates and politicians.” Why? “All too often, these people are so disappointing that it’s depressing. Most of these people you meet, they’re unemployable.… It’s just easier not to know.
But I’ll bet you’re unaware of John Jordan’s secret limerick writing talent:
Dear Republicans, here’s tons of cash
From my famously sizeable stash.
I believe you’re all fools,
But can count on you tools
To keep screwing the riff-raff and trash.
(Note from Mad Kane for the Humor-Impaired: I’m John Jordan’s extremely unofficial ghostwriter. )
I can’t help wondering whether Supreme Court Justice Scalia says weird things like this just for attention:
Speaking at the University of Tennessee College of Law on Tuesday, the longest-serving justice currently on the bench was asked by a student about the constitutionality of the income tax, the Knoxville News Sentinel reports.
Scalia responded that the government has the right to implement the tax, “but if it reaches a certain point, perhaps you should revolt.”
Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Suggesting that students revolt
Over taxes ain’t very adult.
It seems doltish Scalia
Has mouth diarrhea.
I surmise that his brain’s short a bolt.
Limerick Ode To Phyllis Schlafly
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Schlafly’s latest is nuts — no surprise!
But the GOP finds her so wise:
It seems gals will be left
Without husbands — bereft…
If we’re paid just as much as the guys.
This isn’t a joke: Phyllis Schlafly really wrote this in the Christian Post:
Suppose the pay gap between men and women were magically eliminated. If that happened, simple arithmetic suggests that half of women would be unable to find what they regard as a suitable mate.
The federal government’s reopened and the debt ceiling crisis was averted at the last minute. So the question now is, will this happen again? Alas, many experts believe we’re doomed to have yet another shutdown.
Doomed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This crisis is over for now,
But for those who are wiping their brow,
Please keep this in mind:
The very same bind
May in merely three months take a bow.
Trump’s Latest Scam (Limerick)
Saturday, January 18th, 2025Axios Headline: “Trump launches meme coin, apparently makes more than $25 billion overnight”
Tags: $TRUMP, Donald Trump, Meme Coins, Trump, Trump Coins, Trump Cons, Trump Grifts, Trump Meme Coin, Trump Scams
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