Open Limerick To Anthony Weiner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mr. Weiner, I once was a fan;
You’re an outspoken, liberal man.
But I’m sorry –you’re screwed
By the “ick” factor, dude,
So your mayor plans simply don’t scan.

The GOP feeling is heady;
Obama’s a goner — they’re ready
To exploit and destroy.
They can taste it — Oh, boy!
Yet Obama’s approval is steady.

I suspect that Americans sense
The piled-on distortions immense—
That the calls to impeach
Are a huge overreach
By pols on incessant offense.

In response to a spurned wife’s question, Robertson essentially said that a man strays because he’s a man. And that instead of focusing on spousal cheating, a wife should make the house so enticing that her husband doesn’t want to stray.

Pat counsels spurned wives to appreciate the positive:

“Does he provide a home for you to live in,” Robertson said. ‘Does he provide food for you to eat? Does he provide clothes for you to wear? Is he nice to the children… Is he handsome?”

Limerick Ode To Pat Robertson, Marriage Counselor
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear gals, if your husband has strayed,
There’s no need to feel mad and betrayed:
Be grateful instead
That he pays for your bed.
That’s Pat Robertson’s notion of aid.

Here’s a question that’s making me weary:
“Is Barack a lame duck?” — that’s the query.
Pundits ask this with drama,
While blaming Obama.
The true culprits (like Boehner) ain’t teary.

Why?

1: Throughout the George W. Bush administration, he linked to my parody Dubya’s Dayly Diary from the home page of his personal site.

2: Larry Flynt is a lefty who pulls the occasional very amusing stunt.

Larry Flynt’s latest caper is an obviously satirical endorsement of former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford in his race against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for U.S. Congress.

He couldn’t possibly have given Elizabeth Colbert Busch a lovelier gift.

Sanford, who gained national prominence in 2009 as governor of South Carolina when he abruptly abandoned his duties for a secret rendezvous with his mistress, is currently running against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for South Carolina’s 1st Congressional District seat. The election will take place on May 7.

In a statement released today, Flynt calls Sanford “the sex pioneer of our time.” In Flynt’s eyes “no one has done more to expose the sexual hypocrisy of traditional values in America today. Sanford’s open embrace of his mistress in the name of love, breaking his sacred marriage vows, was an act of bravery that has drawn my support.” Chastising the Republican Party for not backing Sanford following his run-off victory, Flynt declared: “I am willing to step in and stand erect for Mark Sanford.”

An Endorsement Mark Sanford Hopes Nobody Will Notice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man known for porn — Larry Flynt
Has endorsed Gov. Mark Sanford in print,
As a “sex pioneer,”
With a glint and a leer.
Endorsements like this you can’t mint.

Limerick Ode To James Inhofe
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Buy bullets before there’s none left—
All bought up by Barack — you bereft:
That’s conspiracy loon
Jim Inhofe’s new tune;
At making up lies, the guy’s deft.

Inaccurate Arrest Reports Need To Be Arrested (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear news outlets, use some restraint:
Stop reporting arrests, when there ain’t.
Publish news, and NOT litter.
You’re far worse than Twitter,
And your need to be first leaves a taint.

King-Sized Exploitation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Give Steve King a terrific ovation
For his masterful bomb exploitation:
In the absence of facts,
He conflates the attacks
With immigration reform in our nation.

He’s been anti-reform all along.
Now he sings a delay-reform song,
Cuz the bomber, he claims,
Might be foreign. He aims
To spread terror himself — that’s so wrong.

So, do House Republicans have something to hide?

Republican Campaign Oversight? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Seems the NRCC’s feeling shame:
How else to explain that the name
Of its party’s not bold,
But lost under the fold
Of a site meant to shore up its game.

Limerick Ode To Harry “Big Talker” Reid
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Harry Reid is again voicing threats
To reform Senate rules. Oh yes, let’s!
But his words have no stock,
As Republicans block
Most Dem action — abuse Reid abets.