Archive for June, 2012

GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)

Friday, June 29th, 2012

Republicans are in shock over the U.S. Supreme Court’s “Obamacare” decision. They’d been so sure they had Justice John Roberts in their pockets, that they’re behaving like betrayed lovers: How dare he side with the liberal wing of the court on the constitutionality question!

Many of them are enraged to the point of irrationality. In fact, even Justice Roberts seems to have noticed the GOP’s “what have you done for me lately” nastiness. He actually joked about going into hiding.

GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The decision John Roberts just penned
Has sent ACA foes round the bend.
Up till now he’d promote
All their views with his vote.
Has their Roberts’ romance reached an end?

Wawa-Gate Reinterpreted (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 19th, 2012

Was Mitt Romney’s amazement over the Wawa touch screen hoagie-ordering device further proof of his out-of-touchness? Or was it merely a small part of his comments on “federal bureaucracy and innovation in the private sector?”

I have a third interpretation:

Wawa-Gate Reinterpreted (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Romney, that hoagie device
Seemed to stun you, amaze, and entice.
I’ll just bet you were thrilled
By the jobs that are killed
When touch screens put clerk jobs on ice.

Republicans To Women: No Vagina Dialogues! (Limerick)

Friday, June 15th, 2012

Michigan Republican pols apparently have very delicate ears:

Two state representatives in Michigan were barred from speaking on the floor of the legislature in Lansing Thursday after colleagues deemed their language “failed to maintain the decorum” of the legislative body.

State Reps. State Reps. Lisa Brown and Barb Byrum, both Democrats, were arguing against proposed legislation that would enact new restrictions on abortions in Michigan, including provisions for new insurance requirements for abortion providers.

Brown ended her floor speech by declaring: “”I’m flattered that you are all so interested in my vagina, but no means no.”

Republicans To Women: No Vagina Dialogues!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans love to pass laws
That restrict female parts, without pause.
But just utter “vagina”—
They’ll ship you to China.
Censor gals in all ways — that’s their cause.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “How Dare You Accuse Me Of Saying What I Said” Romney

Tuesday, June 12th, 2012

Mitt Romney has a bad habit of pretending he didn’t say something that he actually said. And claiming not to hold positions that he really holds.

For instance, after getting flack for his stated opinion that we have too many cops, firemen, and teachers, and that cutting such jobs is a good thing, he’s pretending this never happened. According to Mitt, to claim he said what he said and holds views that he really holds is “a very strange accusation.”

Don’t believe Mitt for even a minute. For while the federal government doesn’t directly hire (or fire) cops, firemen, and teachers, Romney’s stated policies would starve the state and municipal budgets, causing cops, firefighters, and teachers to lose their jobs.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “How Dare You Accuse Me Of Saying What I Said” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Vote Mitt, if you think our supply
Of teachers and cops is too high,
And firemen too.
We’ll be losing a slew
Of them all — that’s what Romney-votes buy.

Open Limerick To British Prime Minister David Cameron

Monday, June 11th, 2012

I’ll bet you never did this to YOUR kid:

David Cameron left his eight-year-old daughter in the pub following a Sunday lunch, after a mix-up with his wife Samantha, Downing Street has admitted.

The couple’s daughter Nancy wandered off to the toilets while they were arranging lifts and they only realised she was not with them when they got home, the Sun said.

The prime minister rushed back to the Plough Inn in Cadsden, Buckinghamshire, where he found his daughter with staff.

The story could prove embarrassing for the prime minister, coming on the same day as the government relaunches its £450m troubled families programme.

Open Limerick To British Prime Minister David Cameron
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To forget your young child in a pub
Is quite an astonishing flub.
The result could be sinister,
British Prime Minister.
So don’t do it again! Okay, bub?

Limerick Ode To Republican Schadenfreude

Monday, June 4th, 2012

Limerick Ode To Republican Schadenfreude
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Watch Republicans feign being sad
When employment news comes, and it’s bad.
How they try not to grin—
They’re more likely to win!
If you vote GOP, you’ve been had.

Romney and the Blowhard (Limerick)

Friday, June 1st, 2012

This Donald Trump quote sounds fictitious, but it’s real: “I have a very large Twitter.”

Romney and the Blowhard (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Trump is proud of his “very large Twitter.”
(That’s a quote — not a Mad B Kane titter.)
When The Donald ain’t ragging
The prez, then he’s bragging.
Donald Trump — he’s where Mitt turns for glitter.