Archive for the ‘Tax & Budget Humor’ Category

The “Overrun” Speaker (Limerick)

Saturday, October 19th, 2013

How does John Boehner explain away and excuse his role in the government shutdown?

“I got overrun, that’s what happened.”

The “Overrun” Speaker (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What is Boehner’s excuse? He’s got none,
Meekly claiming he “got overrun.”
He could scarcely be weaker;
His job as the Speaker
Is leading — he’s left it undone.

Doomed Limerick

Thursday, October 17th, 2013

The federal government’s reopened and the debt ceiling crisis was averted at the last minute. So the question now is, will this happen again? Alas, many experts believe we’re doomed to have yet another shutdown.

Doomed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This crisis is over for now,
But for those who are wiping their brow,
Please keep this in mind:
The very same bind
May in merely three months take a bow.

Sequestration Blame Game (Limerick)

Friday, February 22nd, 2013

John Boehner’s 2011 PowerPoint presentation provides ample proof that sequestration originated with the Republicans.

But even if we didn’t have that smoking gun slide show, the GOP’s attempt to label it “Obama’s sequester” wouldn’t pass the straight-face test. Here’s Andrew Sullivan making that powerful point:

…I simply cannot see how a political party that has branded itself in favor of drastic spending cuts can somehow win a public debate in which they are now apparently opposing drastic spending cuts, and “blaming” them on Obama. And their branding means that the slow government shutdown we will almost certainly now face will surely stick more to them than to Obama.

Sequestration Blame Game (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What’s the key to the GOP brand?
Budget cuts that our land can’t withstand.
So it’s laughably lame
That they’re trying to claim
The sequester’s Obama’s scheme grand.

Open Limerick To The Media

Monday, February 11th, 2013

As Obama’s State of the Union address draws nearer, the press (thanks to GOP prodding) has become obsessed with one question: Why the focus on a liberal agenda, instead of jobs and the economy?

Open Limerick To The Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Where’s your focus on jobs?” asks the press,
As Obama contends with a mess
Of issues galore,
Cuz his job at its core
Is to many dilemmas address.

So dear media, try this new task:
Press Republicans: Tough questions ask!
Like “Just what have THEY done
About jobs. Name just one
Thing they do besides block, bitch, and bask.”

Boehner’s Plan B Gets A Failing Grade (Limerick)

Friday, December 21st, 2012

John Boehner’s Plan B scheme seems to have backfired, forcing him to cancel the vote and endangering his speakership.

Boehner’s Plan B Gets A Failing Grade (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John Boehner had hoped that Plan B
Would embarrass Obama, you see.
It collapsed on the Speaker.
Job tenure? A squeaker!
Boehner’s stunt gets an F, at most D.

Senryu For Obama

Wednesday, December 12th, 2012

Here’s my response to this New York Times article about the “fiscal cliff” negotiations between Obama and Boehner:

Senryu For Obama:

John Boehner’s con game:
Can’t muster votes. Give me more.
Don’t be fooled again.

Medicare Mishigas (Limerick)

Monday, December 10th, 2012

In the “fiscal cliff” negotiations, Republicans are irrationally demanding a hike in the Medicare eligibility age — what Nancy Pelosi refers to as “a trophy that the Republicans want.”

As Ezra Klein explains, this would not save money or help solve the health care cost problem, and it would hurt lots of people. Unfortunately, Republicans seem to favor symbolism over substance, and raising the Medicare eligibility age would be “a signal that they won something big on entitlements.”

Medicare Mishigas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

GOPers want change that ain’t sage:
Raise the Medicare-el’gible age.
This does harm — won’t address
The health care cost mess:
It’s the fruit of entitlements-rage.

Open Limerick To President Obama

Tuesday, December 4th, 2012

Open Limerick To President Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, I welcome your stance
In the “fiscal cliff” deal-making dance.
If the 1st comes sans deal,
Our nation will heal.
Hanging tough is the way to advance.

#My2k Limerick

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

#My2k Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama’s new hashtag is meant
2 help middle class taxpayers vent
Via tweets 2 demand
That their tax hike is banned:
#My2k’s needed 4 rent.

(You can find the story about Obama’s social media PR efforts and this “fiscal cliff” related hashtag here.)

Open Limerick To The Mainstream Media

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Dear Members Of The Media:

When a Republican refuses to consider any tax rate hike whatsoever … even for millionaires and billionaires … that’s an extremist position. So it would be nice if you’d stop acting as if the few Republicans claiming sudden independence from Grover Norquist’s tax pledge are moderates, when they’re still refusing to consider any rate hikes.

To put it another way, a slight compromise in one’s extremism is still extremism:

The way the whole “fiscal cliff” thing (itself a contrivance based on the Republican view that expiration of the Bush tax cuts and imposition of defense spending cuts would be an apocalyptic development) is being discussed in the MSM is a depressing vindication of the huge strategic advantages of partisan extremism. If you are crazy enough for a while, then agreeing to be slightly less crazy looks statesmanlike.

Open Limerick To The Mainstream Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The press is again just a dupe
In the make-believe compromise loop:
A mere marginal move
By extremists can’t prove
That they’re aught but a lunatic group.

Michigan’s Fetal Shenanigans (Limerick)

Friday, November 23rd, 2012

This Republican behavior is so crazy, I almost couldn’t write a limerick about it.

Republican lawmakers in Michigan, a state which eliminated tax credits for children last year, have proposed a tax credit for unborn foetuses of 12 weeks gestation…

Critics said the proposal was “absurd” and described it as a backdoor way of trying to pass “personhood” legislation which would give rights to an embryo and crack down on abortion.

The irony-impaired Rep. Jud Gilbert, R-Algonac said:

“You’re recognizing the fact that people have additional expenses, another person to take care of.”

Michigan’s Fetal Shenanigans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A Republican law now forbids
Tax credits for Michigan kids,
But those same pols want credits
For fetuses. Bet it’s
A product of brains on the skids.

Thanksgiving Limerick For DC Pols

Tuesday, November 20th, 2012

Serious fiscal negotiations are (or at least should be) going on right now in Washington DC. And whether you think we’re facing a “fiscal cliff,” or more of a “fiscal incline,” here’s a Thanksgiving message to Washington politicians: Please talk turkey and work something out that makes sense for our nation.

Thanksgiving Limerick For DC Pols
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s time for some serious talk.
Please don’t bitch or complain, and don’t balk.
Our issues are great—
Act before it’s too late.
So kindly talk turkey. Don’t squawk.

Dear Red State Would-Be Secessionists: Buh-Bye! (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

Shush! Please don’t tell all those Red State would-be secessionists what a great deal they have right now. And how much better off financially we Blue Staters would be, if the sore loser Red Staters successfully seceded.

… a large number of patriotic Americans, mostly from states won by Mitt Romney last week, have petitioned the White House to let them secede. They should be careful about what they wish for. It would be excellent financial news for those of us left behind if Obama were to grant a number of the rebel states their wish “to withdraw from the United States and create [their] own NEW government” (the petitions emphasize “new” by capitalizing it).

Red states receive, on average, far more from the federal government in expenditures than they pay in taxes. The balance is the opposite in blue states. The secession petitions, therefore, give the opportunity to create what would be, in a fiscal sense, a far more perfect union.

Dear Red State Would-Be Secessionists: Buh-Bye! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Greedy Red States who want to secede
Are “takers” and foolish indeed.
From the Fed they get more
Than they send — they’ll be poor
If they leave, and the Blues will be freed.

Alpha-Political Verse (Election 2012)

Wednesday, October 10th, 2012

Alpha-Political Verse (Election 2012)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A is for abortions, which Mitt Romney vows to ban.
B is for the Birthers. Gov’nor Romney’s quite the fan.

C’s for the contempt Mitt feels for folks who aren’t rich.
D is for a sham debate — Mitt’s pseudo-moderate switch.

E’s evolving policies Mitt seem to change each day.
F is for those pesky facts. For Mitt they don’t hold sway.

G’s for global warming. Mitt no longer thinks it’s real.
H is homophobia. Gay marriage he’d repeal.

I’s for immigration. Self-deporting! What a plan!
J’s for rightwing judges. Justice Roberts is Mitt’s man.

K is for the Koch Bros. Mr. Romney’s in their debt.
L’s for all the lies Mitt tells. The truth to Mitt’s a threat.

M’s Medicare and Medicaid. Mitt screws the old and poor.
N’s for Romney’s negative campaign, fact-challenged to its core.

O’s for Mitt’s Olympics and the bailout Mitt secured.
P is for Paul Ryan’s plan. Mitt’s keeping it obscured.

Q’s for follow-up questions. Journos find them such a bore.
R’s for regulations. Mitt is anti … also for.

S is Social Security — Mitt pretends he wants to save.
T is tax cuts for the rich, which Romney donors crave.

U’s the unemployment that Mitt Romney helped create.
V is all those varmints Romney killed … and maybe ate.

W’s for lots of foreign wars. Mitt’s spoiling for a fight.
X is for your ballot mark. Be sure to do it right.

Y’s for “Yes, we can” make sure the President prevails.
And Z’s for right-wing zealots. I look forward to their wails.

(You can find my previous alpha-political verse here,
here, here, and here.)

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Middle Class Savior” Romney

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2012

Guess who’ll save the middle class and crack down on millionaires: In the upside-down world of political advertising, it’s Mitt Romney.

Yes, that’s the message of Romney’s latest ad, which depicts Obama as a liberal scourge of the middle class who (judging from the pictures) is in love with Nancy Pelosi.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Middle Class Savior” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney is on the attack
With the L-word. Yes, “Lib’ral!” is back.
Here’s the shocking j’accuse:
Lib Obama should lose
Cuz, like Nance, he’ll the middle class whack.

Paul Ryan’s Stimulus Flimflam (Limerick)

Friday, August 17th, 2012

In one fell swoop, Paul Ryan’s been caught in a web of hypocrisy and lies over Obama’s stimulus package:

After repeated denials, Paul Ryan has admitted he requested stimulus cash even after sharply criticizing the program.

Ryan had denied doing so as recently as Wednesday, when he spoke to ABC’s Cincinnati affiliate, WCPO, in Ohio.

“I never asked for stimulus,” Mitt Romney’s new running mate said. “I don’t recall… so I really can’t comment on it. I opposed the stimulus because it doesn’t work, it didn’t work.”

Two years ago, during an interview on WBZ’s NewsRadio he was asked by a caller if he “accepted any money” into his district. Ryan said he did not.

“I’m not one [of those] people who votes for something then writes to the government to ask them to send us money. I did not request any stimulus money,” the congressman answered.

But as we’ve now learned, Ryan did write letters. He did request stimulus funds.

Paul Ryan’s Stimulus Flimflam (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Paul Ryan’s been caught in a lie
And hypocrisy too — what a guy!
To the stim he said, “No!”
Yet he asked for stim dough,
Then denied that he did it. Pork pie!

Reid v. Romney (Limerick)

Monday, August 6th, 2012

I’m pleased that Harry Reid’s doubled down on his claim that Mitt Romney may not have paid taxes for ten years. And I agree with Nancy Pelosi: If Reid says he has a good source on this, Reid has a good source on this. Unlike Mitt Romney, Reid isn’t a liar.

Instead of making assertions about what’s in his tax returns, Romney needs to follow custom and release his returns. If Romney’s lying about his tax returns now, it wouldn’t be the first time: He was caught lying about his tax returns back in 2002 regarding the critical issue of residency.

Reid v. Romney (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m glad that Reid’s on the attack
And is giving Mitt Romney some flak.
I just wish Harry Reid
In the Senate would lead
With a similar street-fighting knack.

UPDATE: Here’s a second limerick related to this topic:

Harry Reid is not up for election,
So his jab in Mitt Romney’s direction
Is fail-safe of course:
If Reid’s wrong, then his source
Just misled him. Reid’s plan is perfection.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Job Creator” Romney

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2012

So let me get this straight: Mitt Romney has disavowed his singular accomplishment as Massachusetts governor (universal health care). And for the most part, he’s resting his claim to the presidency on his Bain-related expertise and accomplishments. He even asserts (without any proof) to have been a big “job creator” there. And yet Romney has the audacity to declare his Bain years off-limits to examination and critique by Obama and other Democrats.

As Ezra Klein points out:

Romney’s national platform … calls for doing less for the victims of the global economy. He wants to repeal the Affordable Care Act, which would guarantee that workers would get health insurance even if they lost their jobs in, say, a private-equity led restructuring. He wants to pay for large tax cuts and more defense spending by cutting funds for Medicaid, for food stamps, for worker retraining, and for housing subsidies. He wants to cut Social Security benefits. He has no detailed plans to improve the continuing education system, or worker retraining programs, such that displaced machinists have a better chance to find a new job.

That’s why the ads in which laid-off steelworkers say Romney just doesn’t care about people like them are so effective. As head of Bain, it was Romney’s job not to care about them. But as a presidential candidate, it’s his job to show that he does care about them. So far, he hasn’t.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Job Creator” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Romney brags of his Bain expertise—
Says it’s earned him the White Houses’s keys.
Yet he’s sore, slams the door,
Says how dare we explore
What exactly he did for those fees.

Dear Mitt, you can’t have it both ways.
Your record’s reviewed in this phase:
When you proudly proclaim
You know biz, it’s fair game
To appraise your Bain management ways.

Please Say It Ain’t So (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

Every so often I read a news item that sounds so crazy, I’m sure it must be from the Onion. For instance:

Two months from now, [George W. Bush] plans to publish a book outlining strategies for economic growth.

Please Say It Ain’t So (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An economy book by George Dub,
Whose presidency was a flub:
That’s the news of the day,
And I’m sorry to say
That this isn’t a joke — there’s the rub.

Mitt’s “Telling” Message (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

Mitt Romney has big plans to “eliminate government programs and shutter cabinet agencies.” Which ones are on his dump-list? He refuses to say, responding, with a warped sort of honesty, that providing specifics could cost him the election.

Or as Jonathan Chait amusingly puts it: “One of the things I have found in previous elections is that announcing my plans makes people want to vote against me!”

Mitt’s “Telling” Message (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are agencies Mitt doesn’t like
And programs he’s planning to spike.
But he won’t tell us which
He’s intending to ditch.
You want pre-voting facts? Take a hike.