Archive for the ‘Senate Satire’ Category

Devilish Deal (Limerick)

Saturday, February 1st, 2020

Trump’s impeachment’s erased any doubt
That the GOP’s ceded its clout
And sold off its soul
To that scurrilous troll
In the Oval; it’s owned by that lout.

Witnessing A Trump Mistake (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 28th, 2020

Headline: “Trump waived executive privilege when he called Bolton a liar”

What Bolton has written’s a lie,
Says Trump; a mistake, and here’s why:
Having said that John lied,
Donald’s priv’lege claim’s fried;
Trump’s effectively “waived” it goodbye.

Senators Quiet and Unplugged (Not a Gag!)

Sunday, January 19th, 2020

Headline: “No escape: Senators to be quiet, unplugged for Trump trial”

Juror-Senators told to be quiet?
Might as well be commanded to diet.
Keeping mum ain’t their thing.
Self-restraint’s bound to sting.
(So will jail should they opt to defy it.)

GOP Blockheads Block Witness Demands (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 7th, 2020

Hill Headline: “McConnell has the votes to block Democrats’ witness demands in Trump impeachment trial”

Donald Trump’s taken actions illicit,
But Republicans scoff and dismiss it
As perfectly fine
While they toe Mitch’s line…
And that makes them corruptly complicit.

Don’t Be Duped By Health Bill “Hold-Outs” (Limerick)

Friday, June 23rd, 2017

“I can’t vote for that bill in the form
That it’s in at this time.” That’s the norm
From a devious pol
Who’s just trying to stall;
Though lukewarm, he’ll conform to the swarm.

Mitch’s Secret Health Bill (Limerick)

Friday, June 16th, 2017

A health care vote’s scheduled for June,
But the bill’s in an air-tight cocoon;
It’s been hidden by Mitch
Cuz its terms are a bitch
Which, if known, we’d impugn and lampoon.

Open Limerick To President Obama: Appoint Merrick Garland NOW! (2-Verse)

Thursday, November 10th, 2016

Prez Obama, the way they’ve behaved
Means the Senate has tacitly waived
Its advice/consent right
Re Judge Garland, so fight
And appoint him. That seat can be saved.

Sure the Senate will probably sue
And deem it some sort of a coup.
But it’s still wise to try,
Cuz the courts may just buy
Your contention. It’s worth the ado.

Open Limerick To Ted Cruz On Suspending His Campaign

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016

Dear Ted, you’re a wack and a hack,
And I’m tempted to make a snide crack,
But I almost feel pity;
It sure won’t be pretty
When Senators “welcome” you back.

Mitch McConnell’s Hard Job Of Pretending To Work (Limerick)

Monday, May 2nd, 2016

Headline of the Day:

Senate takes 2016 sabbatical
The chamber is in session for the fewest days in 60 years, straining Mitch McConnell’s claim that the chamber is ‘back to work.’

It’s a tough NON-accomplishment race,
But the GOP Senate’s on pace
To work less then it’s ever
Pulled off — this endeavor
Makes “back to work” false on its face.

Open Limerick To Mitch McConnell

Wednesday, February 24th, 2016

Dear Mitch, you must stop the obstruction
And your anti-Obama production.
A new Justice is needed.
It’s time that you heeded
Your duties. You MUST all this muck shun.

I Spy Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Some of the USA’s most ardent defenders of our ever-growing surveillance state (Lindsey Graham, Diane Feinstein, John McCain) are suddenly up in arms about domestic spying. Why? Cuz this time it’s PERSONAL!

For instance:

In response to accusations that the Central Intelligence Agency has snooped on Senate computers, Graham went bonkers, telling reporters on Tuesday that “Heads should roll, people should go to jail if it’s true.”

I Spy Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though Senators failed to condemn
Our rampant surveillance, or stem
All the government spying,
They’re suddenly crying,
Cuz the CIA’s spying on the THEM!

Open Limerick From Mitch McConnell To Harry Reid

Friday, November 22nd, 2013

Most Democrats are pleased that Harry Reid finally pulled the trigger on a filibuster rules change. Mitch McConnell? Not so much!

Open Limerick From Mitch McConnell To Harry Reid
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitch to Harry: You’ll live to regret
The rule change you made. That’s a threat.
How dare you show fight!
Wreaking havoc’s our right.
Will we keep being evil? You bet!

Doomed Limerick

Thursday, October 17th, 2013

The federal government’s reopened and the debt ceiling crisis was averted at the last minute. So the question now is, will this happen again? Alas, many experts believe we’re doomed to have yet another shutdown.

Doomed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This crisis is over for now,
But for those who are wiping their brow,
Please keep this in mind:
The very same bind
May in merely three months take a bow.

In DC, Not Even The Clocks Run Like Clockwork (Limerick)

Friday, October 11th, 2013

How sadly symbolic that the historic Senate clock’s no longer ticking, thanks to the government shutdown:

The team of curators that wind the 11-foot tall, nearly 200-year-old clock every week have been furloughed, the Secretary of the Senate confirms to NBC News. It was last wound on Monday, Sept. 30 — and more than a week into the shutdown, its hands are now frozen at 12:14.

The antique clock, known as the “Ohio Clock,” serves as a landmark for both reporters and senators, who regularly gather in the “Ohio Clock corridor.”

In DC, Not Even The Clocks Run Like Clockwork (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m alarmed by the old Senate clock,
Cuz they’ve furloughed its horary doc.
Near two centuries old–
The clock’s out in the cold
With no winders — no tick and no tock.

“Party First” Politics (3-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, September 25th, 2013

“Party First” Politics (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When the government runs out of cash
And shuts down, then just who will you bash?
If you’re paying attention,
The party you’ll mention
Is Republican — that’s who you’ll trash.

But misinformation’s widespread
Cuz the public is constantly fed
Big Republican lies
Which attempt to disguise
Who would chop off the government’s head.

Yet the GOP’s mission is clear:
It’s a goal they’ve chased year after year
To stymie Obama,
No matter the trauma
To all that our nation holds dear.

Limerick Ode To Harry “Big Talker” Reid

Monday, April 8th, 2013

Once again, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is making threats about filibuster reform — this time with noise about the “nuclear option.” All I can say is: Blah, blah, blah!

Limerick Ode To Harry “Big Talker” Reid
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Harry Reid is again voicing threats
To reform Senate rules. Oh yes, let’s!
But his words have no stock,
As Republicans block
Most Dem action — abuse Reid abets.

Limerick Ode To Tagg Romney

Monday, February 4th, 2013

I’m enjoying the conflicting rumors about Tagg Romney perhaps running for John Kerry’s old Senate Seat.

Limerick Ode To Tagg Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A scion of Romney, named Tagg,
Voiced a punchy, but fantasy brag
About “taking a swing”
At our prez, so his fling
At the Senate may well hit a snag.

Limerick Ode To Tom Harkin

Monday, January 28th, 2013

Here’s a headline I sure didn’t want to read: Veteran Iowa Sen. Tom Harkin to retire after the 2014 elections.

Harkin, a staunch liberal who advocated for serious filibuster reform, announced his retirement very shortly after Sen. Harry Reid caved and made a pathetically week filibuster “reform” deal with Sen. Mitch McConnell.

While I’m no mind reader, I’m betting the two are connected.

Limerick Ode To Tom Harkin
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Tom Harkin is stepping aside.
His loss will be hard to abide.
I blame Reid, cuz he blew
His big chance for some true
Filibuster reform, which has died!

Limerick Ode To Richard Mourdoch

Thursday, October 25th, 2012

Every time I think Republicans couldn’t possibly get crazier or more extreme about banning abortion, someone like Indiana’s Richard Mourdoch proves me wrong.

By now, the would-be senator’s bizarre comments about abortion and rape, and his non-apology apology are all too familiar. So is the fact that Romney has refused to withdraw his endorsement and his pro-Mourdoch ad.

So I’ll simply leave you with this serious limerick:

Limerick Ode To Richard Mourdoch
By Madeleine Begun Kane

By Mourdoch, I’m shocked — left agape:
He claims if you’re pregnant from rape,
It’s a God-given gift.
So how dare you be miffed!
Your future’s not yours to reshape.

Limerick Ode To Ben Nelson

Thursday, December 29th, 2011

Why would anyone, other than a Republican, lament “centrist” Senator Ben Nelson’s decision not to run for reelection?

Limerick Ode To Ben Nelson
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Ben Nelson won’t run again. Great!
He took stands that were easy to hate:
Helped Republicans halt
Senate votes. Oy gevalt!
He’s a DINO. There’s just no debate.