Posts Tagged ‘Media Humor’

Palin’s Peachy Keen On Impeachment (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

Palin’s Peachy Keen On Impeachment (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The I-word from Palin’s no shock;
For attention, she’ll spew any crock.
Then the press will come through
As they constantly do,
Never balking at hawking her squawk.

Limerick Ode To Truth-Telling

Monday, July 7th, 2014

Limerick Ode To Truth-Telling
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a viewpoint espoused in the news:
There’s no truth — only differing views.
But when viewpoints are based
On lies, truth’s erased.
News outlets, you’ve failed us. J’accuse.

Happy Tell The Truth Day (July 7.)

Tea Party Wisdom (Limerick)

Monday, May 19th, 2014

Tuesday’s a big primary day:

Six states have elections in what’s being dubbed a mini-Super Tuesday: Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Kentucky, Oregon and Pennsylvania. The Senate races with the potential for the biggest surprises are Georgia and Kentucky, where Republicans will be choosing between tea party candidates and ones with stronger backing from the establishment.

So brace yourself for yet another slew of inane observations about how mainstream Republicans are allegedly winning their war against the Tea Party.

Tea Party Wisdom (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sanguine insight from pundits ain’t bright
Re the mainstream Republicans’ fight:
They’re not winning the wars
Against Tea Party boors;
They’re just moving far out to the right.

Spoofing Maureen Dowd

Monday, May 19th, 2014

Though my tweet-sized Maureen Dowd-style fake quote didn’t win last week’s New York Magazine contest, at least it got me an Honorable Mention.

Here’s my HM-winning entry:

Hill’s at war; vicious oval of ambition vs doting grandma dotage. Will Monica Redux push her past pantsuit to sweatsuit?

Infantile Pundits Give Birth To More Wind (Limerick)

Monday, April 21st, 2014

I just love Jeff Greenfield’s take on the “Baby Clinton Madness.” I’m referring, of course, to all the nonsensical opinionating about its effect (or non-effect) on Hillary Clinton’s presumed presidential candidacy.

Infantile Pundits Give Birth To More Wind (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

OMG! Chelsea Clinton’s with child!
Watch political gas-bags go wild,
As they mindlessly mine
Its effects and opine.
Yes, those pundits are rightly reviled.

Barack & Zach (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

Bill O’Reilly is outraged, once again, at Barack Obama. What is it this time? The president had the audacity to go where the twenty-somethings are, in order to plug the Affordable Care Act and HealthCare.gov; he gamely appeared on Funny Or Die’s “Between Two Ferns,” for an interview with Zach Galifianakis.

Barack & Zach
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama’s appearance with Zach
Has inspired O’Reilly’s attack:
A strong prez would not go
On a comedy show
To plug HealthCare.gov and just yak.

It seems Bill is a psychic. Oh my!
He’s an all-knowing, soothsaying guy,
Who swears Lincoln would never
Have gone on (not ever!!!)
A show done by Funny Or Die.

Ventura’s Mexican Adventure (Limerick)

Thursday, February 6th, 2014

Did you know that Jesse Ventura hosts a TV show called “Off The Grid?” Me neither.

This probably explains why Ventura promoted it on CNBC’s “Closing Bell” from an “undisclosed location in Mexico,” with statements like: “I’m off the grid. I move about with my TV show so that the drones can’t find me and you won’t know exactly where I am.”

Ventura’s Mexican Adventure (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Drones Ventura, I’ve gone “off the grid,”
In his USA drone-dodging bid,
Making sure no one knows
Where he is. Won’t disclose!
It’s his latest please-watch-his-show bid.

Bracing For The SOTU (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 28th, 2014

Bracing For The SOTU (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Tonight we’ll be glued to our set,
Even though it’s a very safe bet
That, as always, the SOTU
Will drive us to go to
Strong drink. (We’ve no hash cigarette.)

SOTU Antics (Limerick)

Monday, January 27th, 2014

SOTU Antics (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Watch the SOTU’s bipartisan fight,
As the Prez walks the aisle Tuesday night.
Pols will lunge for his hand
Or a cheek, so they’ll land
On TV in this annual rite.

*****

And speaking of the State of the Union Address, remember the good old days when there was one yearly State of the Union speech and a single response from the opposition party?

Then, suddenly, the Republicans added a second rebuttal (referred to as the Tea Party response.) This was done in accordance with the “Oh my God! There’s a black president!” rule.

Well this year, two Republican responses have been deemed insufficient. (The “Why hasn’t he been impeached yet?” rule.)

So this Tuesday night we’ll be treated to three Republican rebuttals from Cathy McMorris Rodgers, Mike Lee, and Rand Paul, respectively.

What’s the matter? No room for Chris Christie?

Maybe next year, if he hangs on to his gig in New Jersey.

Trumped Up Campaign (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

Here we go again! It’s too early to pretend to run for U.S. President. So instead, Donald Trump is fake-running for Governor of New York State.

Trumped Up Campaign (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This brainchild (I trust) won’t get far:
New York Governor Trump — TV star.
He might run, Donald claims,
But we know his true aim’s
To get press for his show … or be czar.

Limerick Ode To Pat Robertson, Marriage Counselor

Thursday, May 16th, 2013

Pat Robertson can always be counted on to say weird things and give bad advice. Yesterday’s “700 Club” TV broadcast was no exception.

In response to a spurned wife’s question, Robertson essentially said that a man strays because he’s a man. And that instead of focusing on spousal cheating, a wife should make the house so enticing that her husband doesn’t want to stray.

Pat counsels spurned wives to appreciate the positive:

“Does he provide a home for you to live in,” Robertson said. ‘Does he provide food for you to eat? Does he provide clothes for you to wear? Is he nice to the children… Is he handsome?”

Limerick Ode To Pat Robertson, Marriage Counselor
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear gals, if your husband has strayed,
There’s no need to feel mad and betrayed:
Be grateful instead
That he pays for your bed.
That’s Pat Robertson’s notion of aid.

Enough With The Lame Questions! (Limerick)

Monday, May 6th, 2013

Enough With The Lame Questions! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a question that’s making me weary:
“Is Barack a lame duck?” — that’s the query.
Pundits ask this with drama,
While blaming Obama.
The true culprits (like Boehner) ain’t teary.

An Endorsement Mark Sanford Hopes Nobody Will Notice (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 1st, 2013

Even though I have no use for porn, I do have a soft spot for Hustler publisher Larry Flynt.

Why?

1: Throughout the George W. Bush administration, he linked to my parody Dubya’s Dayly Diary from the home page of his personal site.

2: Larry Flynt is a lefty who pulls the occasional very amusing stunt.

Larry Flynt’s latest caper is an obviously satirical endorsement of former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford in his race against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for U.S. Congress.

He couldn’t possibly have given Elizabeth Colbert Busch a lovelier gift.

Sanford, who gained national prominence in 2009 as governor of South Carolina when he abruptly abandoned his duties for a secret rendezvous with his mistress, is currently running against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for South Carolina’s 1st Congressional District seat. The election will take place on May 7.

In a statement released today, Flynt calls Sanford “the sex pioneer of our time.” In Flynt’s eyes “no one has done more to expose the sexual hypocrisy of traditional values in America today. Sanford’s open embrace of his mistress in the name of love, breaking his sacred marriage vows, was an act of bravery that has drawn my support.” Chastising the Republican Party for not backing Sanford following his run-off victory, Flynt declared: “I am willing to step in and stand erect for Mark Sanford.”

An Endorsement Mark Sanford Hopes Nobody Will Notice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man known for porn — Larry Flynt
Has endorsed Gov. Mark Sanford in print,
As a “sex pioneer,”
With a glint and a leer.
Endorsements like this you can’t mint.

Media Gets A Well-Deserved Hand Slap from FBI (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013

It’s pathetic how many respected news outlets published false reports today of an arrest in the Boston Marathon bombings.

Inaccurate Arrest Reports Need To Be Arrested (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear news outlets, use some restraint:
Stop reporting arrests, when there ain’t.
Publish news, and NOT litter.
You’re far worse than Twitter,
And your need to be first leaves a taint.

Limerick Ode To Roger Ailes

Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

Among the many lies told about Obama, is the well-debunked myth that he’s “lazy.” Sorry Roger Ailes, but you’re apparently confusing Obama with his predecessor.

Limerick Ode To Roger Ailes
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Roger Ailes says Obama is “lazy.”
Dear Roger, your memory’s hazy:
He’s vacationed way less
Than the fellow whose mess
He’s been fixing. You’re racist, or crazy.

“Midlife Crisis” FLOTUS-Style (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 19th, 2013

Michelle Obama addressed the burning question of her bangs on the Rachael Ray Show:

“This is my midlife crisis, the bangs. I couldn’t get a sports car,” she told Ray about the inspiration for her trendy new look. “They won’t let me bungee jump. So instead, I cut my bangs.”

“Midlife Crisis” FLOTUS-Style (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“How dare you get bangs,” they harangue.
Michelle laughs at the Sturm and the Drang:
Bungee jumping was out.
So’s a sports car, no doubt.
So she changed up her “do” with a bang.

Open Limerick To The Media

Monday, February 11th, 2013

As Obama’s State of the Union address draws nearer, the press (thanks to GOP prodding) has become obsessed with one question: Why the focus on a liberal agenda, instead of jobs and the economy?

Open Limerick To The Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Where’s your focus on jobs?” asks the press,
As Obama contends with a mess
Of issues galore,
Cuz his job at its core
Is to many dilemmas address.

So dear media, try this new task:
Press Republicans: Tough questions ask!
Like “Just what have THEY done
About jobs. Name just one
Thing they do besides block, bitch, and bask.”

That’s ONE Dick Gone (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 6th, 2013

The housecleaning over at Fox News didn’t stop with Sarah Palin: Dick Morris has been cast out, as well.

That’s ONE Dick Gone (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Say goodbye to the Dick Morris snarl.
Dick (like Palin) can no longer gnarl
All his poisonous spews,
Perched at Fox Cable News.
But alas, Fox is still keeping Karl.

Trumped Up Lawsuit (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 5th, 2013

You don’t have to be a “recovering lawyer” like me to know that such a lawsuit would be frivolous:

During a guest appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last month, Maher quipped that Trump must be “the spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan” (Exhibit A: his orange hair). In a riff off of Trump’s own offer to give $5 million to the charity of Barack Obama’s choice if the President released his college paperwork, Maher said he would do the same for Trump if the real estate mogul supplied proof that he is not descended from an ape.

Trump, who apparently was able to prove he wasn’t fathered by an orangutan, has announced on Fox & Friends that he’s suing for the $5 million.

Trumped Up Lawsuit (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who I’d rather not mention
Is relentlessly seeking attention:
With his Birther schtick stale,
He is desp’rate to nail
Lots of cov’rage through lawsuit dissension.

Ousted Pundits (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 5th, 2012

Earlier today, I posted about Karl Rove and Dick Morris being benched by Fox News. I couldn’t resist writing another limerick on the topic:

Ousted Pundits (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Morris and Rove, what a blow:
Fox has noticed you ain’t “in the know.”
Special leave is now needed
Before we are treated
To blowhards like you on a show.