Posts Tagged ‘Media Humor’

Trump Wrote Another Limerick!

Sunday, August 14th, 2016

The media’s biased, ill-bred,
And in bed with that crook who’s ahead.
If I lose, it’s the press
Who’s at fault for my mess.
How dare they report what I’ve said!

Trump Headline Game

Monday, May 16th, 2016

I keep seeing headlines like this: “Trump Reversal on Fundraising Not Hurting Him.”

So I decided to make up some headlines of my own:

“Trump Reversal on CHANGING HIS GENDER Not Hurting Him.”

“Trump Reversal on KIDNAPPING POLO PONIES Not Hurting Him.”

“Trump Reversal on EVICTING CALIFORNIA Not Hurting Him.”

Feel free to create your own fake (yet almost plausible) Trump headlines using this format:

“Trump Reversal on {BLANK BLANK} Not Hurting Him.”

You may either use your own words, or choose one word from “Group 1″ and one word from “Group 2.”


Group 1:

Abusing
Adopting
Appointing
Arresting
Banishing
Banning
Beating
Berating
Bilking
Borrowing
Bribing
Building
Burying
Changing
Cheating
Complimenting
Curing
Declaring
Decorating
Demolishing
Destroying
Disclosing
Donating
Drooling
Envy
Evicting
Firing
Forgiving
Freeing
Hacking
Helping
Hiding
Humiliating
Impeaching
Incorporation
Insulting
Inventing
Kidnapping
Negotiating
Killing
Lampooning
Legalizing
Locking Up
Lowering
Lying
Manipulating
Marauding
Mocking
Mortgaging
Mourning
Selling
Occupying
Ordering
Outlawing
Pardoning
Pillaging
Praising
Promoting
Punishing
Raging
Raising
Raping
Refinancing
Renaming
Renting Out
Revolting
Rewarding
Slaughtering
Smoking
Shooting
Strangling
Subdividing
Suing
Switching
Tearing Down
Torturing
Unburying
Voting
Winning
Worshiping

Group 2:
Amazon
Animal Sacrifice
Art Museums
Asians
Assets
Bankers
Bankruptcy
Bathrooms
Ben Carson
Bernie
Bezos
Birth Certificate
Blood
Brand
Budget
Builder
Bums
Cabinet Member
California
Canaries
Cheapskates
Cheater
China
Clinton
Clouds
Clown
College
Conspiracy
Corpses
Court
Crickets
DNC
Debate
Debt
Defendant
Democrats
Disclosure
Donations
Dope
Election Fraud
Elephants
Executive Orders
Fairness
Figure Skating
Flautists
Gender
Ghosts
God
Golf Course
GOP
Haters
Health Care
Heathens
Hillary
History
House
Illegals
Immigrants
Immigration
Insurance
Iran
Iraq
Israel
Jews
Justice
Kindergarten
Latinos
Lawyers
Liars
Litigation
Loans
Loser
Mars
Math
Media
Medicare
Megyn Kelly
Men
Mental Illness
Mexico
Miss Universe
Models
Monkeys
Monopoly
Moron
Mosquitos
Muslims
Neanderthals
Negotiator
New York
Obama
Oboe Players
Order
Parties
Paul Ryan
Peace
Penis
Penis Envy
Plaintiff
Pluto
Polls
Polo
Ponies
Porn
Press
Prison
Privacy
Protesters
Putin
Rain
Real Estate
Republicans
Respect
Revolution
RNC
Running Mate
Russia
Science
Secrets
Senate
Shadows
Slob
Snow
Social Security
Supreme Court
Tacos
Taxes
Tax Returns
Terrorists
Total Loser
Turtles
Unfairness
Vagrants
Vampires
Voters
Waitresses
Wall
Wall Street
War
Wealth
White House
Women
Zombies

Those Damn Emails! (Limerick)

Saturday, January 30th, 2016

I’m so sick of the news stories meant
To defame Mrs. Clinton with bent,
Sleazy headlines and lies
Told to make you surmise
That her emails were “secret” when sent.

Trumping The Truth (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

With their lies, guys like Donald Trump try us.
Prove them wrong, they just laugh and defy us.
They keep getting their way
Cuz there’s NO price to pay.
Call them out? They shout, “Media bias!”

Shedding Tears For Ben Carson? (Limerick)

Monday, November 9th, 2015

The “liberal bias” lie is in full bloom this election cycle. And in its latest manifestation, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus and Hugh Hewitt would have us believe that the press is being really mean to Ben Carson, while treating Hillary Clinton with kid gloves.

Of course such assertions are so laughable, even Joe Scarborough is mocking them.

Hugh Hewitt and Reince look askance
At the Ben Carson cov’rage. Their stance:
It’s a lib-press vendetta!
Hill’s treated much bettah!
(Even Joe isn’t buying their rants.)

Press Biding Its Time Till It Gets Serious About The Issues (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, October 20th, 2015

Anyone else sick of the breathless “will he or won’t he” Biden stories? Well, not to be outdone by all that foolishness, the Washington Post “inadvertently published” a website story under this headline: “Biden to launch a presidential campaign.”

Biden cov’rage is dumb as it gets:
Now the Washington Post sends regrets
For its story proclaiming
Joe’s running. It’s blaming
A “technical glitch.” Cool your jets!

Most journos don’t bother to air
Real issues. That’s work they can’t bear!
Seems their duties they’re ceding.
Instead they keep feeding
Us nonsense. So reader beware!

Peggy Noonan Nonsense (Limerick)

Friday, October 16th, 2015

You’ll never guess who is to blame
For the rise of The Donald. This claim
By Ms. Noonan is mad:
Seems Obama’s the lad
Who’s at fault. “Pundit” dame has no shame.

Election Season (Limerick)

Friday, April 24th, 2015

Election Season (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Watch cowardly pols run away
From positions they used to display.
And the liars’ technique
Is denial with pique.
Either way, they hold journos at bay.

Limerick Ode to Science Disbelievers plus Sundry Haiku

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2015

Limerick Ode To Science Disbelievers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican problem with science
Is their members respond with defiance
To facts that are proved.
(Have their brains been removed?)
They spread lies to excuse non-compliance.

*****

Refusing vaccines,
Don’t-Tell-Me-What-To-Doers
now infect us all.

*****

Exodus of thought–
an exodus of science–
the GOP way.

*****

Misinformation
delib’rately spread by Fox–
blindly accepted.

*****

Republican pols–
implacable enemy
of fairness and facts.

******

The truth-challenged pols
have taken over Congress–
therein LIES the rub.

*****

Writing Verse, When Things Go from Bad to Worse

Monday, November 3rd, 2014

Writing Verse, When Things Go from Bad to Worse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My goal is political mockery,
Poking fun at election-time squawkery.
But the polls are so bad
And the news is so sad,
That all I can do is throw crockery.

Golf Wars (Limerick)

Friday, August 22nd, 2014

As a devout liberal, I’ve been pretty disappointed in Obama’s presidency. But the constant complaints about his letting off steam via golf are absurd.

To those who claim Obama’s too indifferent to public opinion, think about this: When no matter what you do you’re under constant (often nonsensical) attack, you might as well do what you want.

And don’t even get me started on the fact that most of the horror we’re embroiled in right now is a direct (or indirect) result of the war of choice in Iraq that George W. Bush (Mr. Vacation himself) lied us into.

Golf Wars (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When Obama goes golfing, the press
And the pols say the world’s in a mess,
So the prez should not play.
But they’ll bitch come what may.
So he might as well drive off some stress.

Palin’s Peachy Keen On Impeachment (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

Palin’s Peachy Keen On Impeachment (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The I-word from Palin’s no shock;
For attention, she’ll spew any crock.
Then the press will come through
As they constantly do,
Never balking at hawking her squawk.

Limerick Ode To Truth-Telling

Monday, July 7th, 2014

Limerick Ode To Truth-Telling
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a viewpoint espoused in the news:
There’s no truth — only differing views.
But when viewpoints are based
On lies, truth’s erased.
News outlets, you’ve failed us. J’accuse.

Happy Tell The Truth Day (July 7.)

Tea Party Wisdom (Limerick)

Monday, May 19th, 2014

Tuesday’s a big primary day:

Six states have elections in what’s being dubbed a mini-Super Tuesday: Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Kentucky, Oregon and Pennsylvania. The Senate races with the potential for the biggest surprises are Georgia and Kentucky, where Republicans will be choosing between tea party candidates and ones with stronger backing from the establishment.

So brace yourself for yet another slew of inane observations about how mainstream Republicans are allegedly winning their war against the Tea Party.

Tea Party Wisdom (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sanguine insight from pundits ain’t bright
Re the mainstream Republicans’ fight:
They’re not winning the wars
Against Tea Party boors;
They’re just moving far out to the right.

Spoofing Maureen Dowd

Monday, May 19th, 2014

Though my tweet-sized Maureen Dowd-style fake quote didn’t win last week’s New York Magazine contest, at least it got me an Honorable Mention.

Here’s my HM-winning entry:

Hill’s at war; vicious oval of ambition vs doting grandma dotage. Will Monica Redux push her past pantsuit to sweatsuit?

Infantile Pundits Give Birth To More Wind (Limerick)

Monday, April 21st, 2014

I just love Jeff Greenfield’s take on the “Baby Clinton Madness.” I’m referring, of course, to all the nonsensical opinionating about its effect (or non-effect) on Hillary Clinton’s presumed presidential candidacy.

Infantile Pundits Give Birth To More Wind (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

OMG! Chelsea Clinton’s with child!
Watch political gas-bags go wild,
As they mindlessly mine
Its effects and opine.
Yes, those pundits are rightly reviled.

Barack & Zach (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

Bill O’Reilly is outraged, once again, at Barack Obama. What is it this time? The president had the audacity to go where the twenty-somethings are, in order to plug the Affordable Care Act and HealthCare.gov; he gamely appeared on Funny Or Die’s “Between Two Ferns,” for an interview with Zach Galifianakis.

Barack & Zach
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama’s appearance with Zach
Has inspired O’Reilly’s attack:
A strong prez would not go
On a comedy show
To plug HealthCare.gov and just yak.

It seems Bill is a psychic. Oh my!
He’s an all-knowing, soothsaying guy,
Who swears Lincoln would never
Have gone on (not ever!!!)
A show done by Funny Or Die.

Ventura’s Mexican Adventure (Limerick)

Thursday, February 6th, 2014

Did you know that Jesse Ventura hosts a TV show called “Off The Grid?” Me neither.

This probably explains why Ventura promoted it on CNBC’s “Closing Bell” from an “undisclosed location in Mexico,” with statements like: “I’m off the grid. I move about with my TV show so that the drones can’t find me and you won’t know exactly where I am.”

Ventura’s Mexican Adventure (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Drones Ventura, I’ve gone “off the grid,”
In his USA drone-dodging bid,
Making sure no one knows
Where he is. Won’t disclose!
It’s his latest please-watch-his-show bid.

Bracing For The SOTU (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 28th, 2014

Bracing For The SOTU (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Tonight we’ll be glued to our set,
Even though it’s a very safe bet
That, as always, the SOTU
Will drive us to go to
Strong drink. (We’ve no hash cigarette.)

SOTU Antics (Limerick)

Monday, January 27th, 2014

SOTU Antics (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Watch the SOTU’s bipartisan fight,
As the Prez walks the aisle Tuesday night.
Pols will lunge for his hand
Or a cheek, so they’ll land
On TV in this annual rite.

*****

And speaking of the State of the Union Address, remember the good old days when there was one yearly State of the Union speech and a single response from the opposition party?

Then, suddenly, the Republicans added a second rebuttal (referred to as the Tea Party response.) This was done in accordance with the “Oh my God! There’s a black president!” rule.

Well this year, two Republican responses have been deemed insufficient. (The “Why hasn’t he been impeached yet?” rule.)

So this Tuesday night we’ll be treated to three Republican rebuttals from Cathy McMorris Rodgers, Mike Lee, and Rand Paul, respectively.

What’s the matter? No room for Chris Christie?

Maybe next year, if he hangs on to his gig in New Jersey.