Archive for the ‘Polls’ Category
Friday, March 27th, 2020
Headline: “Trump’s Approval Jumps Five Points”
A rise in the Donald’s approval
Transcends logic; he merits removal!
Such a gain in our national
Polls is irrational…
As peculiar as numbers from Liouville.*
*If you don’t understand my reference to mathematician Joseph Liouville, here’s a helpful link. And no, I’d never heard of him before, either. But when you’re desperate for a rhyme word, sometimes you have to research math.
Tags: Coronavirus, COVID-19, Donald Trump, Election 2020, Election Humor, Epidemic, Health, Joseph Liouville, Math, Pandemic, Political Polls, Polls Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Irrational Polls (Limerick)
Sunday, August 18th, 2019
Headline: “Trump Blames ‘Racism Witch Hunt’ for Low Poll Numbers”
Donald’s numbers seem stuck in a slump,
And the media caused it, claims Trump:
It’s “a Racism Witch Hunt.”
(His pass-the-blame glitch-hunt —
Self-pitying tweet from his rump.)
Tags: Campaign 2020, Donald Trump, Election 2020, Media Bashing, Political Polls, Poll Humor, Polls Humor, Racism, Racism Humor, Racism Witch Hunt
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Racism Limerick, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trump’s Bitches And Sulks As Poll Numbers Slump (Limerick)
Thursday, December 13th, 2018
Headline: “Melania Trump’s poll numbers plummet”
Melania’s permanent frown
May worsen; her ratings are down.
But she STILL is liked more
Than the man we abhor…
Who pretends his bare head bears a crown.
Tags: Donald Trump, Melania Trump, Polls Humor
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Melania’s Poll Numbers Drop (Whomp, Whomp!) Limerick
Monday, February 6th, 2017
“Any negative polls are fake news.”
(Trump on Twitter, expressing his views.)
Yet he can’t explain why
When his numbers are high
They’re plumb right, but when low they’re a ruse.
Tags: Political Polls, President Trump, Social Media, Trump, Trump Tweets, Twitter Humor, Twitter Limericks
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, Social Media Satire, Twitter, White House | Comments Off on Those Slippery Polls (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 28th, 2016
Dear Donald, you once would extol
Your rankings in poll after poll.
You’d brag and you’d gloat
And you’d proudly emote
About numbers you loved, heart and soul.
But now that you’re deep in the hole,
With low poll numbers taking their toll,
You scream and you swear
That they’re fake and unfair–
Once a poll-touter, now a poll troll.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton, Political Polls
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Donald Trump
Tuesday, October 27th, 2015
Four recent polls (3 in Iowa, 1 national) show Ben Carson ahead of Trump, prompting Trump to claim that polls with so many candidates aren’t very scientific.
Unless they show Trump ahead, of course.
When The Donald tops polls, they’re “terrific!”
He runs second? They’re “unscientific.”
Cuz when Trump’s on the stump,
Though his number’s might slump,
His ego-laced lines stay prolific.
Tags: Ben Carson, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Poll Humor
Posted in Ben Carson, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Monday, November 3rd, 2014
Writing Verse, When Things Go from Bad to Worse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My goal is political mockery,
Poking fun at election-time squawkery.
But the polls are so bad
And the news is so sad,
That all I can do is throw crockery.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, GOP Lies, Media Humor, Political Polls, Poll Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 15th, 2014
Open Limerick To Political Pollsters
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear pollsters, you’re going to town
With predictions that force me to frown.
Each projection I hear
Feeds dejection. I fear
Evil clowns will be taking us down.
How I yearn for a spark that gives hope
And will somehow allow me to cope
With our national news
And the venom that spews.
Until then, I’ll continue to mope.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Political Polls, Poll Humor, Pollster Humor, Pollsters
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Political Pollsters
Wednesday, September 26th, 2012
Open Limerick To Obama Supporters
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Dems, while the polls look ideal,
I’m not certain the polling is real.
Dem wins are still hard,
So don’t let down your guard.
And make sure it ain’t too close to steal.
(Linked at We Write Poems.)
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Complacency, Election Satire, Election Theft, Gallup Polls, Mitt Romney, Political Polls, Pollsters, Presidential Election, Resting On Laurels
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, White House | 7 Comments »
Monday, January 23rd, 2012
Newt Gingrich demolished Mitt in South Carolina. Newt’s surging in Florida. And Romney’s large national lead is collapsing. Needless to say, the Republican establishment is starting to panic:
To the extent Newt threatens the Establishment, it’s because of his electability–or lack thereof. The GOP’s mandarins see Gingrich’s nomination as a sure way to blow their chance of deposing Barack Obama. They see Gingrich as the political equivalent of a Fukushima nuclear plant worker, with polls showing him to be lethally irradiated by his negative approval ratings. Whereas Mitt Romney is running about even with Barack Obama in head-to-head polling, Newt loses by double-digit margins. Sure, those numbers could change if Gingrich beats Romney and wins the nomination, with all the accolades it entails. On the other hand, his grandiosity syndrome may kick in, as it has before, and render him a laughing stock. Hence the many Establishment Republicans now saying things like, “Newt means losing 45 states.”
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Limerick Ode To Republican Panic
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican powers-that-be
Are scared of a Newt-nominee:
Newt’s grandiose ways
Could trigger malaise,
As voters to Democrats flee.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Florida, GOP, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Political Polls, Republicans Humor, RNC, South Carolina, Voting Limerick
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor, Voting Satire | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, October 26th, 2010
Every so often I sum up a period in alpha-political verse. For instance, I did one about the opening months of the Obama administration. I also did two about the Bush administration, one a not-so-fond farewell to Bush and Cheney and the other a satirical summary of their disastrous first term.
This mid-term election period has been so bizarre, that I couldn’t resist doing another one:
Alpha-Political Verse: Election 2010
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A is for Alaska, whose incumbent needs good spelling.
B is for Barack. The GOP sure wants his dwelling.
C is for Christine who’s anti-gay and masturbation.
D’s for Delaware debates, where laughter ain’t ovation.
E is for elections. Dems lose bad — so say the seers.
F’s for foreign cash galore supporting GOPers.
G is for Glenn Beck and all the crazy stuff he says.
H is for Sec. Hillary. Too bad that gal ain’t Prez.
I’s for Darrell Issa who is itching to impeach.
J is for John Boehner — smells majority in reach.
K is for Ken Mehlman who is fin’ly out as gay.
L’s for Libertarians who, like Rand, to regs say “Nay!”
M is for Joe Miller — seems he doesn’t like the press.
N’s for Speaker Nancy P. Her House is sure a mess.
O’s For Bill O’Reilly versus Joy and Whoopi. Wow!
P’s for Paladino. Angry bully? Yes, and how!
Q’s for all the questions the extremists won’t address.
R’s for Reid’s tough Angle bout. I’m worried, I confess.
S is for Mike Steele who claims to run the RNC.
T is for the Tenthers and their anti-fed law spree.
U is for our Union which secessionists would flee.
V is for the voters drinking Kool-Aid-flavored tea.
W’s for the many wars we’re fighting — can’t keep track.
X is for the xenophobic anti-“other” pack.
Y is for the youth. We really need them at the polls.
And Z’s for right-wing zealots. We must squash their ugly goals.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Extremist Candidates, GOP Humor, Obama Verse, Voting Limerick, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010
President Obama is hoping Americans won’t have “selective memory” and blame him for problems he inherited from Bush. Unfortunately they do, as this poll illustrates:
Only about a third of Americans (34%) know that the government’s bailout of banks and financial institutions was enacted under the Bush administration. Nearly half (47%) incorrectly say that the Troubled Asset Relief Program – widely known as TARP – was signed into law by President Obama.
And you can bet that the bailout misinformation percentage is a lot higher for the virulently anti-bailout crowd. It sure would be nice if they knew the truth about the bailout:
For the record, the financial industry bailout passed in October 2008. It was requested by a conservative Republican administration (George W. Bush and Dick Cheney). It was enthusiastically endorsed by the House Republican leadership (John Boehner, Eric Cantor, and Roy Blunt), the Senate Republican leadership (Mitch McConnell and Jon Kyl), both members of the Republican presidential ticket (John McCain and Sarah Palin), and assorted, high-profile conservative voices (Mitt Romney and Glenn Beck).
That leads me to my latest limerick:
Selective Memories Bail Out Bush
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Disliking Obama is fine,
But please be correct when you whine.
Don’t like bailouts of banks?
It’s to Bush you owe “thanks.”
Was it signed by Obama? No! Nein!
Tags: Bank Bailout, Barack Obama, Economy Satire, Financial Bailout, Financial Verse, George W. Bush, Selective Memory, TARP
Posted in Barack Obama, Business Humor, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, George Bush Satire, Money & Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, TARP Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, White House | Comments Off on Selective Memories Bail Out Bush
Tuesday, August 11th, 2009
Steve Benen points out the contrast between the coverage of two abortion-related polls:
In mid-May, Gallup released a poll that found 51% of Americans calling themselves “pro-life” and 42% “pro-choice.” It was the first time a majority of U.S. adults had identified themselves as pro-life since Gallup began asking the question. Last week, however, Gallup released a follow-up poll showing the pro-life lead evaporating, dropping from nine points to one, 47% to 46%.
The first poll got tons of coverage, while the second was largely ignored:
So, to review, Gallup results showing strong “pro-life” numbers are a huge story, even though the results were dubious. Gallup results showing weaker “pro-life” numbers are a non-story, even though the results made sense.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Our Liberal Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The pro-lifer numbers are higher
Touted journos, their keyboards afire.
So why don’t they mention
The numbers’ descension?
So much for our liberal choir.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Feminism, Feminist Limerick, Gallup Polls, Liberal Media, Media Humor, Pro-Choice, Pro-Life, Steve Benen
Posted in Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls | Comments Off on Our Liberal Media (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 1st, 2008
Dear Editor: Enough With the Polls, Already!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My int’rest in polling is waning:
Who’s winning, who’s losing, who’s gaining.
Tell me where these guys stand—
Who’s a liar? What’s canned?
Give me substance — not horse race-campaigning.
Update: Don Davis has a fun take on the same topic. And the witty and oh so modest Jon Swift has posted the best blog posts of 2007 as chosen by the bloggers themselves. [tags]Presidential Campaigns, Election Humor, Polls Humor, Horse Race Politics, Media Humor[/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Polls, White House | 14 Comments »
Saturday, September 1st, 2007
Is the American Mustache Institute (AMI) for real? When I first read about it, I figured it must surely be fictitious. Either that … or John Bolton’s new employer. But the AMI, a sort of mustache anti-defamation league, apparently does exist, with this as its stated goal:
To battle negative stereotyping that has accompanied the mustache since those glory years of the 1970s – the peak of mustache acceptance – fighting to create a climate of acceptance, understanding, flavor saving, and upper lip warmth for all mustached Americans alike.
I think the American Mustache Institute deserves a limerick don’t you?
Ode to Mustached Men, The Forgotten Minority
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Ending prejudice—that’s the group’s aim.
“Don’t be bigots!” its members exclaim.
What’s the bias they face?
Not their age, faith or race—
Anti-mustache behavior’s to blame.
Tags: American Moustache Institute, AMI, Anti-defamation, Discrimination, Facial Hair Humor, John Bolton, Moustache, Mustache, Shaving, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Appearance Humor, Constitution Humor, Minority Rights Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Polls, Social Satire | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007
Have you seen this photo of Russian President Vladimir Putin? Boy, that Pootie-Poot is majorly buff! And something tells me that George Dubya Bush is seriously jealous. After all, he sure as hell isn’t built like this.
That brings me to my latest poll:
{democracy:10}
Update: How come so many presidential physiques are in the news? Apparently French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s naked “poignees d’amour (love handles)” were retouched by the French magazine Paris Match — tightened to make him look more svelte. [tags]Vladimir Putin, Pootie-Poot, Buff Russian President, Putin Humor, Putin Satire, Dubya Humor, Gym Rats, Bush Putin Poll[/tags]
Posted in Foreign Policy, George Bush Satire, Politics Satire, Polls, Vladimir Putin | 2 Comments »
Friday, August 17th, 2007
Do you think the long-awaited General David H. Petraeus’s Iraq surge report will “see” as much “tangible progress” as Petraeus claimed to see in the election-influencing op ed he wrote for the Washington Post back on September 26, 2004?
Will it be a “clear-eyed report from a top general” accurately assessing military progress? A report that even approaches the honest document Bush promised in order to buy himself a lot more time?
Hahahahaha!
Anyone who nurtured even the slightest fantasy that the Petraeus assessment would be the real deal, now must surely know otherwise:
Despite Bush’s repeated statements that the report will reflect evaluations by Petraeus and Ryan Crocker, the U.S. ambassador to Iraq, administration officials said it would actually be written by the White House, with inputs from officials throughout the government.
And though Petraeus and Crocker will present their recommendations on Capitol Hill, legislation passed by Congress leaves it to the president to decide how to interpret the report’s data.
So why is Petraeus sacrificing what little remains of his integrity by letting the White House author his report? Yes, you guessed it — it’s time for another poll:
{democracy:9}
(You can catch up with my previous polls here. And check out Petraeus’ Report To Be Cribbed From … ‘Monarch Notes’.)[tags]General David Petraeus, Petraeus Iraq Surge Report, George Bush, Tangible Progress, Petraeus Poll[/tags]
Posted in Foreign Policy, General Petraeus, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Iraq War Humor, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, White House | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, August 14th, 2007
Okay, so Karl Rove has resigned to spend more time with his family. Yeah … right. This calls for a poll, don’t you think?
{democracy:8}
(My Bush impeachment poll is still open for business, and you can find my Bush’s Brain limerick here..) [tags]Karl Rove’s Resignation, Bush’s Brain Resigns, Polls, Polling, Humor[/tags]
Posted in George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Karl Rove, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, White House | 4 Comments »
Sunday, August 5th, 2007
I finally dare to fantasize that the Democrats may have gotten their act together, and they pull a cowardly stunt like this:
Just when the Dems at least are talking tough (even if they aren’t acting tough), they let Bush and Cheney intimidate them into giving them more spying powers. …
Can’t the Democrats just say “no,” as in “Sorry, you have proven that you can’t be trusted with increased spying powers, in fact you are still failing to fully inform Congress and the American people about the illegal spying you have conducted in the past and are still, apparently, conducting”?…
Unfortunately, my January 2006 limerick, George Bush Says His Spying Is Cool, remains valid. But that certainly won’t prevent me from writing another one:
Bush Growls; Dems Kowtow
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Dems disappoint us again,
Backing Bush in his eavesdropping yen.
We need Dems to defend us
From Bush bills horrendous.
When will Dems turn from mice into men?
And now it’s time for a new poll, though my Bush impeachment poll remains open for business:
{democracy:7}
(You can find lots of my privacy, technology, and computer humor columns, song parodies and verse here.) [tags]Democratic Cowards, Bush Eavesdropping, Eavesdropping Poll, Bush Spying, Gonzales Eavesdropping[/tags]
Posted in Congress Humor, Democrats Satire, Eavesdropping, George Bush Satire, House Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Senate Satire, White House | 1 Comment »
Friday, August 3rd, 2007
Watching Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama duke it out for the title “Democrat Most Likely To Start Another War” might be funny, were it not quite so disturbing. However, it does remind me of a certain old Saturday Night Live sketch:
{democracy:6}
(You can find my anti-war song parodies and verse here.)[tags]Hillary Clinton Humor, Barack Obama Humor, Macho Candidates, Presidential Campaign, Election 2008, War-Mongering, SNL, Saturday Night Live[/tags]
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Democrats Satire, Election Satire, Hillary Clinton, Polls, White House | 1 Comment »
Alpha-Political Verse: Election 2010
Tuesday, October 26th, 2010Every so often I sum up a period in alpha-political verse. For instance, I did one about the opening months of the Obama administration. I also did two about the Bush administration, one a not-so-fond farewell to Bush and Cheney and the other a satirical summary of their disastrous first term.
This mid-term election period has been so bizarre, that I couldn’t resist doing another one:
Alpha-Political Verse: Election 2010
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A is for Alaska, whose incumbent needs good spelling.
B is for Barack. The GOP sure wants his dwelling.
C is for Christine who’s anti-gay and masturbation.
D’s for Delaware debates, where laughter ain’t ovation.
E is for elections. Dems lose bad — so say the seers.
F’s for foreign cash galore supporting GOPers.
G is for Glenn Beck and all the crazy stuff he says.
H is for Sec. Hillary. Too bad that gal ain’t Prez.
I’s for Darrell Issa who is itching to impeach.
J is for John Boehner — smells majority in reach.
K is for Ken Mehlman who is fin’ly out as gay.
L’s for Libertarians who, like Rand, to regs say “Nay!”
M is for Joe Miller — seems he doesn’t like the press.
N’s for Speaker Nancy P. Her House is sure a mess.
O’s For Bill O’Reilly versus Joy and Whoopi. Wow!
P’s for Paladino. Angry bully? Yes, and how!
Q’s for all the questions the extremists won’t address.
R’s for Reid’s tough Angle bout. I’m worried, I confess.
S is for Mike Steele who claims to run the RNC.
T is for the Tenthers and their anti-fed law spree.
U is for our Union which secessionists would flee.
V is for the voters drinking Kool-Aid-flavored tea.
W’s for the many wars we’re fighting — can’t keep track.
X is for the xenophobic anti-“other” pack.
Y is for the youth. We really need them at the polls.
And Z’s for right-wing zealots. We must squash their ugly goals.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Extremist Candidates, GOP Humor, Obama Verse, Voting Limerick, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »