Archive for May, 2014

Limerick Ode To John Boehner

Saturday, May 31st, 2014

My 2-verse limerick “celebrates” John Boehner, who certainly knows how to be cowardly, evasive, and stupid all at once. Here’s Boehner responding to a question about climate change:

Asked by reporters yesterday if he accepts the scientific consensus that greenhouse gas emissions contribute to global warming, John Boehner demurred on the curious but increasingly familiar grounds that he is not a scientist. “Listen, I’m not qualified to debate the science over climate change,” the House Speaker said. Boehner immediately turned the question to the killing of jobs that would result from any proposal to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, which he asserts with unwavering certainty. (On this question, Boehner is not held back by the fact that he is also not an economist.)

Limerick Ode To John Boehner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John Boehner, it seems, knows the score;
He’ll be kicked by his “team” out the door
Should he ever concede
What folks know (if they read)
That our climate is changing full-bore.

So Boehner will simply rebuff
Any queries re climate change stuff.
“Can’t debate it he claims;
His “not qualified” aims
To dodge facts, cuz his pals prefer guff.

Tea Party Wisdom (Limerick)

Monday, May 19th, 2014

Tuesday’s a big primary day:

Six states have elections in what’s being dubbed a mini-Super Tuesday: Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Kentucky, Oregon and Pennsylvania. The Senate races with the potential for the biggest surprises are Georgia and Kentucky, where Republicans will be choosing between tea party candidates and ones with stronger backing from the establishment.

So brace yourself for yet another slew of inane observations about how mainstream Republicans are allegedly winning their war against the Tea Party.

Tea Party Wisdom (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sanguine insight from pundits ain’t bright
Re the mainstream Republicans’ fight:
They’re not winning the wars
Against Tea Party boors;
They’re just moving far out to the right.

Spoofing Maureen Dowd

Monday, May 19th, 2014

Though my tweet-sized Maureen Dowd-style fake quote didn’t win last week’s New York Magazine contest, at least it got me an Honorable Mention.

Here’s my HM-winning entry:

Hill’s at war; vicious oval of ambition vs doting grandma dotage. Will Monica Redux push her past pantsuit to sweatsuit?

“Bush’s Brain” Does It Again (2-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

Karl Rove a/k/a “Turd Blossom” a/k/a “Bush’s Brain” is at it again. And this time his target is Hillary Clinton. First he strongly implies that she had “traumatic brain injury,” while greatly exaggerating the length of her hospital stay:

“Thirty days in the hospital?” Rove said, according to the report. “And when she reappears, she’s wearing glasses that are only for people who have traumatic brain injury? We need to know what’s up with that.”

Next he denies using the specific phrase “brain damage,” as if that makes everything copacetic.

Of course this sort of dirty tricks attack is SOP for Karl Rove.

“Bush’s Brain” Does It Again (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rove’s method is slur and then flee.
His hit jobs leave drive-by debris.
He’ll strongly imply
Something’s true, then deny
That he used a set phrase he deems key.

Rove’s now on an anti-Hill spree,
Lodging brain-health aspersions with glee.
He’ll imply Hill’ry’s brain
Has been damaged, then feign
Complete innocence: Smear her? Not ME!

Dear Donees (Limerick)

Monday, May 5th, 2014

Many of you already know that big-time Republican donor John Jordan just dissed Republican pols big time. Here’s what he said:

I go out of my way to avoid meeting candidates and politicians.” Why? “All too often, these people are so disappointing that it’s depressing. Most of these people you meet, they’re unemployable.… It’s just easier not to know.

But I’ll bet you’re unaware of John Jordan’s secret limerick writing talent:

Dear Republicans, here’s tons of cash
From my famously sizeable stash.
I believe you’re all fools,
But can count on you tools
To keep screwing the riff-raff and trash.

(Note from Mad Kane for the Humor-Impaired: I’m John Jordan’s extremely unofficial ghostwriter. )