On healthcare, Trump gives up the store.
But the wingnuts say “No!” They want more!
Donald throws up his hands
At their endless demands;
It’s golf-time. This feels like a chore.
Posts Tagged ‘Tea Party Members’
Trump’s Frustration (Limerick)
Thursday, March 23rd, 2017Undoing Undue Optimism (4-Verse Limerick)
Saturday, October 31st, 2015Most press coverage about the “cleaning the barn” two-year “budget deal,” negotiated by Boehner as he was handing off his Speaker gig to Paul Ryan, is unduly optimistic. It tends to lull us into thinking that the opportunity for House wingnuts to wreak havoc has been largely eliminated for a substantial period of time.
But that really isn’t true. Why not? Because, generally speaking, there are three broad opportunities for Tea Party types to threaten or cause shutdowns.
1: Budget bills.
2: Debt ceiling crises.
3: Appropriation bills.
And, alas, only the first two items on that list were resolved, leaving ample opportunities for essential appropriation bills to be saddled with unacceptable riders. For instance, riders eliminating Obamacare or defunding Planned Parenthood, to name just two. In other words:
Right-wing Republicans can still pursue their goals through riders on appropriations bills—and, if they don’t get their way, shut down the government.
With Ryan as Speaker, don’t think
That we aren’t stuck right on the brink
Of Tea Party trouble.
It still can cause rubble
Through spending bills yet to gain ink.
The fact that the budget’s resolved
And the ceiling on debt ain’t involved,
Should not make you relieved.
If you are, you’re deceived,
Cuz the poison pill risk isn’t solved.
The House must appropriate cash,
Via bills which the wingnuts can trash
Through riders from guys
With Tea Party ties,
Turning programs we need into ash.
If that happens, then what can be done?
Only vetoes, and those aren’t fun.
But the blackmailing Hill
Can’t prevail on such bill!
Are there any good choices? Nay! None.
What’s Next Post-Boehner? (Limerick)
Sunday, September 27th, 2015Will Boehner’s departure appease
The Tea Party’s wingnut-disease?
Or will it embolden
And make them feel golden–
Resolved to bring all to their knees.
Tea Party Wisdom (Limerick)
Monday, May 19th, 2014Tuesday’s a big primary day:
Six states have elections in what’s being dubbed a mini-Super Tuesday: Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Kentucky, Oregon and Pennsylvania. The Senate races with the potential for the biggest surprises are Georgia and Kentucky, where Republicans will be choosing between tea party candidates and ones with stronger backing from the establishment.
So brace yourself for yet another slew of inane observations about how mainstream Republicans are allegedly winning their war against the Tea Party.
Tea Party Wisdom (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sanguine insight from pundits ain’t bright
Re the mainstream Republicans’ fight:
They’re not winning the wars
Against Tea Party boors;
They’re just moving far out to the right.
Limerick Ode to Michele “Just Joking” Bachmann
Monday, August 29th, 2011The current crop of Republicans is notoriously callous, and Michele Bachmann is no exception. Here’s what she said about Hurricane Irene and other natural disasters:
“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people, because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet, and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”
Of course, her campaign is now claiming “Bachmann Spoke ‘In Jest’ When She Said God Was Communicating Via Earthquakes And Hurricanes.”
Limerick Ode to Michele “Just Joking” Bachmann
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Irene was a message from God,
Said Michelle in a right-wingnut nod.
Then she claimed she was jesting,
Cuz bad press was cresting.
That loon as our Prez? Then we’re scrod.
Paul Ryan, Educator???
Saturday, July 16th, 2011The debt ceiling absolutely, positively must be raised to avoid a fiscal meltdown, and the Republican leadership knows it. But they’re saddled with a bunch of ignorant, “Tea Party” Congress-critters whose votes they desperately need.
Ironically, the job of educating them about debt ceiling realities has fallen to Paul Ryan, the Prince of Budget Misinformation.
Here’s what I’m wondering: The “Tea Party” nuts bought Paul Ryan’s lies. Will they believe him when he speaks the truth?
Paul Ryan, Educator???
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though the GOP leadership’s tryin’
To get Tea Party votes, they ain’t buyin’,
Cuz they’re itchin’ to spike
Any debt ceiling hike.
Now the burden to school them’s on Ryan.
Limerick Ode To A Government Shutdown
Thursday, April 7th, 2011Limerick Ode to A Government Shutdown
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The thought of a government shutdown
Should be quickly, decisively cut down.
But I fear that we’re screwed
Cuz of Washington’s mood:
Boehner’s party has turned into Nut Town.
Limerick Ode To Christine O’Donnell
Monday, October 11th, 2010Limerick Ode To Christine O’Donnell
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Christine, so I see that your pitch
Is to claim that you aren’t a witch.
It’s not witches I mind,
But your viewpoints unkind:
Anti-gay! Anti-feminist! Bitch!
Radical Verse
Thursday, September 16th, 2010Scary people keep winning Republican primaries. For instance:
* Christine O’Donnell in Delaware’s Senate race
* Carl Paladino in New York’s gubernatorial race
* Joe Miller in Alaska’s Senate race
* Rand Paul in Kentucky’s Senate race
* Sharron Angle in Nevada’s Senate race
Yes, I know all about the conventional wisdom — that Democrats should be happy because these extremist Republicans can’t win general elections. But conventional wisdom can sometimes be rather unwise. After all, these candidates weren’t supposed to win the primaries either. Yet here we are.
That brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
Radical Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The primaries made it quite clear
That our nation could lose all that’s dear.
The ballots are toted.
Republicans voted
For radicals. Dems, please don’t cheer.
I’ve been hearing some “general” spin
That these loons can’t November’s vote win.
This assumption’s not sound.
We’re in trouble profound.
We don’t fight? They’ll be in … just like Flynn.
“Offbeat” On The Politico Beat
Friday, August 13th, 2010Politico poses this query in the title of an article about extremist Republican candidates such as Rand Paul, Sharron Angle, and Dan Maes: “Will its offbeat candidates hurt GOP?”
Offbeat? Talk about an understatement!
While the article does include less euphemistic language, like “downright strange” and “deeply unusual,” it does little to address the radical, extremist planks of these Republican nominees.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
“Offbeat” On The Politico Beat
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Politico’s pulled off a feat
In describing the wingnut elite.
Maes and Angle and Paul
Are not radicals all.
These extremists are merely “offbeat.”
Republican Pols — Off or On the Rand-Wagon?
Sunday, May 23rd, 2010In the wake of his humiliating interview on Rachel Maddow’s MSNBC show, Rand Paul has a serious Civil Rights Act problem. It’s so bad, that he’s already flip-flopping (or pretending to flip-flop) over his views and he was even scared into canceling his scheduled Meet the Press interview.
But Rand Paul isn’t the only guy with a problem — his fellow Republican pols have one too. What do I mean? Well, eventually they’ll have to choose sides: Either stick up for the Republican nominee with the insane views and maintain party loyalty, or disavow Rand Paul’s views and be seen by many as disloyal to the GOP. Good luck with that.
This brings me to my latest three-verse limerick:
Republican Pols — Off or On the Rand-Wagon?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Sen. nominee known as Rand
Is as odd as they come in this land.
He says cos are endowed
With this right: All’s allowed.
Paul would give them a fully free hand.
If they want to be racist, they may.
Block the Jews from their doors? That’s okay.
Cuz the gospel of Paul
Is no biz regs at all.
So feel free to go fire a gay.
The Republican leaders must choose
To decry (or endorse) these mad views.
There is no in-between.
There’s no hiding, I mean.
Back the Tea Party Guy, and they lose.
Maine Mishigas
Monday, May 17th, 2010Would you like to dump the Department of Education and the Federal Reserve?
Do you believe there’s “collusion between government and industry in the global warming myth”?
Do you think the U.S. should adopt “Austrian Economics,” abrogate the “UN Treaty on Rights of the Child” and the “Law Of The Sea Treaty” and resist “efforts to create a one world government”?
Then do I have a Republican Party Platform for you:
Maine Mishigas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican Party of Maine
Has apparently gone quite insane.
It has managed to fill
Its new platform with swill.
What an odd way to run a campaign.
But citizens tend to ignore
Party platforms — they’re often a bore.
So Dems, spread the word
Re this platform absurd.
Cuz (if known) it has little allure.
Note: I suppose a crazy party platform should be expected from people who’d behave like this while they’re adopting it:
The Republican State Convention was held at the Portland Exposition Building, which is on Park Avenue, near the middle school. Party members from Knox County caucused in a classroom used by eighth-grade social studies teacher Paul Clifford.
When Clifford returned to school on Monday, he found that a favorite poster about the U.S. labor movement had been taken and replaced with a bumper sticker that read, “Working People Vote Republican.”
Later, Clifford learned that his classroom had been searched. Republicans who had attended the convention called Principal Mike McCarthy to complain about “anti-American” things they saw there, including a closed box containing copies of the U.S. Constitution that were published by the American Civil Liberties Union.
Subversive Limerick
Thursday, March 4th, 2010South Carolina is a very entertaining state … if you’re into oddball politicians and very strange laws.
For instance, South Carolina has a little known (until now) law requiring subversive agents to register with the state and pay a five dollar fee.
No, I’m not kidding. If you’d like to overthrow the government, you’re required to register with the government.
Naturally, Tea Party members think this law was passed purposely to target their group. If so, that would make South Carolina pols highly precognitive — the law dates way back to 1951.
But if any subversives do feel the urge to register, they’d better do it soon. Why? Because State Sen. Larry Martin, a Republican, is pushing to repeal it:
“I readily recognize when it had been passed and what the purpose of it was back in the 1950s,” he said. “But I don’t think Osama bin Laden is going to register. It’s outlived its usefulness.”
This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?
Subversive Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re subversive and live in SC?
There’s no problem — just pay a small fee.
File a form with a fiver.
It’s cheap, you conniver.
You’d best file if you party with tea.
Open Limerick To The Anti-Government Crowd
Monday, October 11th, 2010It seems the “keep the government away from my Medicare” crowd is even larger and more confused than we thought:
That brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
Open Limerick To The Anti-Government Crowd
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You folks who cry out for less gov
Have lots of gov programs you love:
You think Medicare’s great
And you’d surely berate
Any pol who gave SS a shove.
You hate taxes for highways and schools,
But you don’t want your kids taught by fools.
And you’re quick to unload
When your bridges corrode.
Please wake up — don’t be Tea Party tools.
Tags: Education, Government Services, Harvard, Highway Safety, Limited Government, Medicare, Social Security, Studies, Tea Party Members, Washington Post
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Government Services, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »