Posts Tagged ‘Republican Platform Humor’

Platitudes And Platforms (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 21st, 2012

Dear Republicans: If your Platform Committee is going to endorse an “abortion plank that includes no exemptions for rape, incest or even to save the life of the mother,” why bother condemning Todd Akin’s outrageous rape comments?

Were you hoping we wouldn’t notice that your platform is just as misogynous as the guy you’re condemning?

Platitudes And Platforms (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP Platform Committee
Re abortion is lacking in pity
For victims of rape
And of incest: They ape
Akin’s attitude: Irony city!

Maine Mishigas

Monday, May 17th, 2010

Would you like to dump the Department of Education and the Federal Reserve?

Do you believe there’s “collusion between government and industry in the global warming myth”?

Do you think the U.S. should adopt “Austrian Economics,” abrogate the “UN Treaty on Rights of the Child” and the “Law Of The Sea Treaty” and resist “efforts to create a one world government”?

Then do I have a Republican Party Platform for you:

Maine Mishigas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican Party of Maine
Has apparently gone quite insane.
It has managed to fill
Its new platform with swill.
What an odd way to run a campaign.

But citizens tend to ignore
Party platforms — they’re often a bore.
So Dems, spread the word
Re this platform absurd.
Cuz (if known) it has little allure.

Note: I suppose a crazy party platform should be expected from people who’d behave like this while they’re adopting it:

The Republican State Convention was held at the Portland Exposition Building, which is on Park Avenue, near the middle school. Party members from Knox County caucused in a classroom used by eighth-grade social studies teacher Paul Clifford.

When Clifford returned to school on Monday, he found that a favorite poster about the U.S. labor movement had been taken and replaced with a bumper sticker that read, “Working People Vote Republican.”

Later, Clifford learned that his classroom had been searched. Republicans who had attended the convention called Principal Mike McCarthy to complain about “anti-American” things they saw there, including a closed box containing copies of the U.S. Constitution that were published by the American Civil Liberties Union.