Archive for December, 2018

Trump’s Pre-Election Middle Class Tax-Cut Con (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 18th, 2018

Headline: “Mnuchin Backs Off Trump’s Promise of 10% Middle-Class Tax Cut”

Just before the most recent election,
Donald tweeted a base-bait confection,
Falsely pledging a boon
For the middle class — soon!
Phantom tax cuts – a Trump misdirection.

Trump’s Favorite Defenses (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 18th, 2018

“Never happened!” (Trump’s fav’rite defense)
His use of that claim is immense.
When it fails (all the time)
Trump denies it’s a crime,
Unwisely surmising we’re dense.

Limerick Ode To Trump’s Inauguration Fund

Monday, December 17th, 2018

Trump’s Inaugural Fund looks suspicious;
Monies raised were bizarrely ambitious,
And the numbers don’t jibe.
Were there pay-offs? A bribe?
Major windfalls for Trump injudicious?

Limerick Ode To Kellyanne Conway

Monday, December 17th, 2018

Headline: “Kellyanne Conway complains to Fox News about getting “shut down” on CNN”

Kellyanne has the chutzpah to frown
And complain CNN shuts her down.
But when Conway appears there
She breaks lie-frontiers there;
That Queen of Deceit goes to town!

I Smell A Rat In The White House (Limerick)

Monday, December 17th, 2018

Headline: “Maybe Trump should try harder not to sound like a mob boss”

Dear Donald, it’s best not to choose
Mob-boss lingo, like “rat,” to confuse
And placate your base.
It does NOT help your case
To tweet jargon a crim’nal would use.

House GOP Still Investigating Hillary (Trump? Not so much!) (Limerick)

Monday, December 17th, 2018

Headline: “Comey slams Trump, House Republicans after 2nd Capitol Hill meeting”

Hypocritical House GOP
Keeps probing Hill Clinton with glee.
Yet they find it distasteful
And claim that it’s wasteful
To study Trump’s criminal spree.

Callous Kirstjen Nielsen (Limerick)

Saturday, December 15th, 2018

Headline: “DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen Blames Migrant Girl’s Death in Border Patrol Custody on Her Family”

Kirstjen Nielsen is callous and mean;
Her response to this death was obscene.
A young migrant girl dies?
Human decency’s wise!
But on blaming the parents, she’s keen.

Good Riddance To Ryan Zinke (Limerick)

Saturday, December 15th, 2018

Headline: “Ryan Zinke, Into the Sunset
The Secretary of the Interior departs under a cascade of ethics investigations.”

Ryan Zinke is leaving. No loss!
He is nearly as bad as his boss.
His departure is hailed.
He deserves to be jailed,
So buh-bye to that heel and his hoss.

Trump Can Forget the “Edwards Defense” (Limerick)

Friday, December 14th, 2018

Trump’s hush money payments to gals
Is NOT a big deal, say his pals.
Trump can use the defense
That Edwards used; hence
Donald wins. (That’s their flawed rationales.)

But the “shield-wife defense” won’t apply
To Donald Trump’s pay-offs. Here’s why:
Those who made them concede
That their goal was impede
An election loss. Donald — Buh-Bye!

A 2-Mike Limerick

Friday, December 14th, 2018

I am betting Pence ain’t in the clear;
He ran the transition, I fear,
And he knew what Mike Flynn
Was up to. I’ll grin
At a Mike Pence arrest. How I’ll cheer!

Kevin McCarthy’s Quite The Kidder! (Limerick)

Friday, December 14th, 2018

Headline: “McCarthy calls on incoming Democrats to embrace bipartisanship, not ‘food fight’ or investigations”

Kev McCarthy, of Party-First rule,
Must believe ev’ry Dem is a fool.
Now that Dems run the House,
That hypocrite louse
Touts bipartisanship. What a tool!

Poor Donnie Feels Harassed (Limerick)

Thursday, December 13th, 2018

Trump had the audacity to threaten the Democrats: He “warned he would not work with Democrats if they continue to support the special counsel investigation and are ‘going to do presidential harassment.’”

Donald’s warnings to Dems are confusing;
Also foolish, bizarre, and amusing:
“Presidential harassment”
Must stop! If the Ass meant
To scare us, he must have been boozing.

Limerick Ode To Nancy Pelosi

Thursday, December 13th, 2018

Pelosi’s a powerful lass;
I loved how she kicked Donald’s ass.
Then she stomped the insurgents
And conquered deter-gents.
That woman has skills, smarts, and brass.

Melania’s Poll Numbers Drop (Whomp, Whomp!) Limerick

Thursday, December 13th, 2018

Headline: “Melania Trump’s poll numbers plummet

Melania’s permanent frown
May worsen; her ratings are down.
But she STILL is liked more
Than the man we abhor…
Who pretends his bare head bears a crown.

Limerick Ode To Our Goading Victim In Chief

Wednesday, December 12th, 2018

Some claim Donald was goaded by Chuck
Into owning the shutdown. Good luck
With excuses as lame
As THAT. Who’s to blame
For this misstep? It’s President Schmuck.

Trump’s Shutdown (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 12th, 2018

Headline: “Trump: ‘I’m proud to shut down the government’ over border wall”

Over border wall funding, Trump’s “proud
To shut down the government.” Loud
And clear was his statement,
Precluding debatement.
Piggish Donald shall reap what he’s sow’d.

Peanut-Brained Trump (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 11th, 2018

Headline: “President Trump claims he’s ‘not concerned’ about impeachment, calls his campaign’s Russia ties ‘peanut stuff’

While speaking with Reuters, Trump strains
To minimize all his campaign’s
Russia contacts, declaring
It’s “peanut stuff,” baring
His hubris and shortage of brains.

Trump’s Chief Of Staff Blues (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 11th, 2018

No one wants to be Trump’s Chief Of Staff.
A career booster? Don’t make me laugh!
You’d have to be high
To work for that guy.
So he’s down to the riff and the raff.

***********
With Apologies to Andrew Lloyd Webber:

Don’t cry for Trump; he’s a felon.
The fact is, he’s never truthful.
All through his wild days, his mad existence,
He kept no promise,
So keep your distance.
**************

The Beauty Of A Butina Deal (Limerick)

Monday, December 10th, 2018

Headline: “Accused Russian spy Maria Butina appears poised to plead guilty”

Donald Trump should be tied up in knots,
Cuz Maria Butina knows lots,
And it looks like she’ll squeal;
She has just made a deal.
Oy gevalt! Trump may actually plotz.

“Smocking Gun” Mockery (Limerick)

Monday, December 10th, 2018

From a Trump tweet today: “No Smocking Gun…No Collusion.”

Donald tweets about guns that ain’t “smocking,”
Which occasions a whole lot of mocking.
Poor Trump’s in a bind,
For soon he will find
Much bad news and “clean” coal in his stocking.