Archive for the ‘Congress Humor’ Category
Thursday, December 5th, 2013
According to a Politico story, Republicans pols and staffers are being given remedial sensitivity training to avoid further Todd Akin-style gaffes and to contend with the party’s gender gap.
Those Sensitive Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans, fearful of gaffes,
Are coaching both Congress and staffs
How to talk to a dame.
(Non-offense is their aim.)
How ’bout policy change, just for laughs?
Tags: Feminism, Gender Gap Humor, GOP Humor, Politico, Republican War On Women, Republicans Humor, Todd Akin
Posted in Congress Humor, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 11 Comments »
Friday, October 11th, 2013
How sadly symbolic that the historic Senate clock’s no longer ticking, thanks to the government shutdown:
The team of curators that wind the 11-foot tall, nearly 200-year-old clock every week have been furloughed, the Secretary of the Senate confirms to NBC News. It was last wound on Monday, Sept. 30 — and more than a week into the shutdown, its hands are now frozen at 12:14.
The antique clock, known as the “Ohio Clock,” serves as a landmark for both reporters and senators, who regularly gather in the “Ohio Clock corridor.”
In DC, Not Even The Clocks Run Like Clockwork (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m alarmed by the old Senate clock,
Cuz they’ve furloughed its horary doc.
Near two centuries old–
The clock’s out in the cold
With no winders — no tick and no tock.
Tags: Art Curators, Furloughed Employees, Government Shutdown, Ohio Clock, Senate Clock, U.S. Senate, Washington DC
Posted in Congress Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 3 Comments »
Saturday, May 25th, 2013
This New York Times headline doesn’t exactly come as a shock: Banks’ Lobbyists Help in Drafting Financial Bills:
One bill that sailed through the House Financial Services Committee this month — over the objections of the Treasury Department — was essentially Citigroup’s, according to e-mails reviewed by The New York Times. The bill would exempt broad swathes of trades from new regulation.
In a sign of Wall Street’s resurgent influence in Washington, Citigroup’s recommendations were reflected in more than 70 lines of the House committee’s 85-line bill. Two crucial paragraphs, prepared by Citigroup in conjunction with other Wall Street banks, were copied nearly word for word. (Lawmakers changed two words to make them plural.)
Our Industrious Lawmakers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It seems Wall Street is writing our laws;
Co’s like Citigroup — clause by bad clause.
If you think it’s a crime
That the rich win each time,
That right there is your probable cause.
Tags: Banking Satire, Citigroup, Congress Humor, Dodd-Frank, Finance Limerick, Financial Regulations, Legislation Humor, Lobbying, Lobbyist Humor, Money Humor, New York Times, Wall Street
Posted in Banking Humor, Congress Humor, Fiscal Policy, House Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, April 9th, 2013
There’s a striking difference between the website homepages of the DCCC (Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee) and the NRCC (National Republican Congressional Committee): The most prominent words (by size and location) on the DCCC site are Democrats 2014. But the only reference to Republicans on the NRCC site is buried on the bottom in the “paid for by” disclaimer.
So, do House Republicans have something to hide?
Republican Campaign Oversight? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Seems the NRCC’s feeling shame:
How else to explain that the name
Of its party’s not bold,
But lost under the fold
Of a site meant to shore up its game.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Congress Humor, DCCC, Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, Election Humor, House Republican, National Republican Congressional Committee, NRCC, Republican Reboot, Republican Rebranding
Posted in Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
Friday, March 8th, 2013
John Boehner had a hissy fit over the sequester-caused suspension of White House tours.
“The President is trying to make it tough on members of Congress. It’s just silly. I want to know who is being laid off at the White House. The Capitol is open for tours. We’ve been planning for this for months.”
Perhaps Boehner should have spent those months planning to avoid sequestration.
(Note that the transcript originally read “It’s just sick.” Then at some point, “sick” was changed to “silly.” Since I don’t have access to the audio, I don’t know which one is accurate.)
Touring Boehner’s Brain (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To save cash, White House tours are curtailed,
But the House tours have NOT been derailed.
So you still can have fun
Seeing nothing get done
On the Hill, watching nonsense unveiled.
Tags: Budget Cuts, Budget Limerick, Capitol Humor, Congress Humor, Congressional Tours, DC Tourism Humor, House Tours, John Boehner, Republicans Humor, Sequester Humor, Sequestration, Washington DC, White House Tours
Posted in Barack Obama, Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, John Boehner, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 3 Comments »
Monday, February 11th, 2013
As Obama’s State of the Union address draws nearer, the press (thanks to GOP prodding) has become obsessed with one question: Why the focus on a liberal agenda, instead of jobs and the economy?
Open Limerick To The Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Where’s your focus on jobs?” asks the press,
As Obama contends with a mess
Of issues galore,
Cuz his job at its core
Is to many dilemmas address.
So dear media, try this new task:
Press Republicans: Tough questions ask!
Like “Just what have THEY done
About jobs. Name just one
Thing they do besides block, bitch, and bask.”
Tags: Congress Humor, Economy Satire, Employment Humor, GOP Humor, Jobs Jobs Jobs, Liberal Agenda, Media Humor, Obstructionism, President Obama, Press, Republicans Humor, SOTU, State Of The Union Address
Posted in 44 Humor, Congress Humor, Economy Humor, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Legislation Humor, Media Satire, Money & Finance Humor, Money And Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, White House | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, December 4th, 2012
Open Limerick To President Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Obama, I welcome your stance
In the “fiscal cliff” deal-making dance.
If the 1st comes sans deal,
Our nation will heal.
Hanging tough is the way to advance.
Tags: Barack Obama, Congress Humor, Fiscal Cliff, Fiscal Crisis, Negotiations
Posted in Barack Obama, Congress Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, White House | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, February 15th, 2012
What century is this? The aggressive anti-contraception GOP stance makes me wonder whether I bought the wrong calendar.
Rick Santorum, a man who’s dangerously close to snatching the Republican presidential nomination away from Mitt Romney, apparently wants to preside over an antediluvian America: Here’s Santorum explaining why he wants to fight “the dangers of contraception:”
It’s not okay because it’s a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.
And Rick is far from the only bedroom-obsessed Republican. GOP over-reach regarding contraception is approaching epic proportions:
Last week, Freshman Senator Roy Blunt (R-MO) filed legislation to allow any employer, religiously affiliated or not, to refuse to cover any essential or preventive health service, not just contraceptives, based on the “religious belief or moral conviction” of the employer. Word from DC is that Blunt and allies will attempt to add the provision as an amendment to other legislation now moving through the Senate….
The fact that American voters are overwhelmingly pro-birth control is apparently irrelevant to Republican politicians.
Perhaps a limerick might help Republican pols get the message:
Dear Bedroom-Invading Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Republican pols, please abstain
From ent’ring my bedroom domain.
And also stay out
Of my bathroom. Don’t pout!
If you’re truly “small gov,” you’ll refrain.
Tags: Birth Control Limerick, Campaign Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Humor, Employers, Feminist Limerick, Health Care, Missouri, Mitt Romney, Religion Humor, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, Roy Blunt, Sexist Humor, Small Government
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Constitution Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, Roy Blunt Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, January 31st, 2012
Bill Clinton nemesis Dan Burton is finally retiring. Good riddance!
The Republican Indiana Congressman, who fathered an out-of-wedlock son, was famed for his anti-Bill Clinton vendetta, his Vincent-Foster-was- murdered obsession, and his backyard Foster-shooting “re-enactment.”
Burton was at his most famous in the 1990’s, when he led many of the investigations against President Bill Clinton. “If I could prove 10 percent of what I believe happened, he’d [Clinton] be gone,” Burton declared in 1998. “This guy’s a scumbag. That’s why I’m after him.”
His campaigns against Clinton began in full force when he delivered a House speech in which he alleged that Deputy White House Counsel Vince Foster, whose death was ruled a suicide, was actually murdered and his body moved to Fort Marcy Park in northern Virginia.
Buh-Bye Dan Burton (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
At long last, we are closing the curtain
On the slanderous reign of Dan Burton.
His witch-hunt campaigns
To put Clinton in chains
Mean that Dems shall not miss him — that’s certain!
Tags: Bill Clinton, Congress Humor, Dan Burton, Impeachment, Indiana, Vincent Foster
Posted in Bill Clinton, Congress Humor, Dan Burton, GOP Humor, House Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 4 Comments »
Thursday, September 1st, 2011
I’ve bemoaned Obama’s bad negotiation skills in the past. But the latest brouhaha over a date to speak before Congress really takes the cake:
Limerick Ode To A Speech Spat
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Obama, you waged a dumb fight
Over speech dates, and lost — not too bright!
Tell me, how did you make
Such a rookie mistake?
It’s no wonder your wins are so slight.
Tags: Barack Obama, Congress Humor, Negotiation, Presidential Speech, Speech Spat, Speeches
Posted in Barack Obama, Congress Humor, John Boehner, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 5 Comments »
Saturday, July 16th, 2011
The debt ceiling absolutely, positively must be raised to avoid a fiscal meltdown, and the Republican leadership knows it. But they’re saddled with a bunch of ignorant, “Tea Party” Congress-critters whose votes they desperately need.
Ironically, the job of educating them about debt ceiling realities has fallen to Paul Ryan, the Prince of Budget Misinformation.
Here’s what I’m wondering: The “Tea Party” nuts bought Paul Ryan’s lies. Will they believe him when he speaks the truth?
Paul Ryan, Educator???
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though the GOP leadership’s tryin’
To get Tea Party votes, they ain’t buyin’,
Cuz they’re itchin’ to spike
Any debt ceiling hike.
Now the burden to school them’s on Ryan.
Tags: Debt Ceiling, Economy Satire, Federal Budget, Federal Debt, Federal Default, Fiscal Crisis, Fiscal Humor, GOP Humor, House Republicans, Paul Ryan, Tea Party Members
Posted in Congress Humor, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Paul Ryan, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, Tea Parties, Wingnuts | 7 Comments »
Saturday, April 2nd, 2011
White House and Congress
bought and managed by donors —
puppet theater.
*****
An epidemic —
political hypocrites —
Today’s GOP.
*****
Unlimited cash
from corporations to pols —
democracy dies.
****
Economic growth
still not translating to jobs —
Republicans shrug.
*****
Republican cuts
to budget sure to kill jobs —
Boehner: “So be it.”
*****
Deliberately
destroying economy
seemed unthinkable.
No longer a silly thought —
GOP election goal.
******
Author’s Note: These haiku and tanka were inspired in part by the following prompts: puppet, epidemic, unlimited, growth, and silly.
Tags: Budget Cuts, Congress Humor, Democracy, Donations, Economy Haiku, Election Humor, Fiscal Crisis, Fund Raising, Jobs, John Boehner, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Tanka, Republican Hypocrisy
Posted in Congress Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, Hypocrisy Humor, John Boehner, Money & Finance Humor, News Haiku & Senryu, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 28 Comments »
Friday, January 21st, 2011
Although I have strong feelings about most things political, I don’t care whether Democrats and Republicans adopt Sen. Mark Udall’s (D-CO) proposal to sit together during Obama’s State of the Union address. I suppose it’s a nice civility gesture. But I just don’t think it makes much of a difference one way or another.
That said, I think the frequently uncivil Rep. Paul Broun’s (R-GA) reaction to the mixed seating proposal was absurd:
I already believe very firmly that it is a trap and a ruse that Democrats are proposing. They don’t want civility. They want silence from the Republicans. And the sitting together being kissy-kissy is just another way to try to silence Republicans, and also to show — to keep the American people from seeing how few of them there are in the U.S. House now. Then when people stand up to — what the Democrats are going to be doing when Barack Obama spews out all his venom, then, um, if they’re scattered throughout all the Republicans, then it won’t be as noticeable as if we’re sitting apart.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Rep. Broun’s SOTU Claptrap
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rep. Broun is a very odd chap:
Says mixed seating at SOTU’s a “trap.”
When “Obama spews out
All his venom” can’t shout.
Nearby Dems might force poor Broun to clap.
Tags: Civility Humor, Congress Humor, Mark Udall, Mixed Seating, Paul Broun, President Obama, SOTU, State Of The Union Address
Posted in 44 Humor, Barack Obama, Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Washington, White House, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
Monday, January 10th, 2011
In the wake of the Arizona shootings, there isn’t much news to celebrate in rhyme. But I finally came up with something: Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas) was sentenced to three years in prison for “conspiring to launder corporate money into political donations during the 2002 elections.”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Want Tom In Prison — No Delay!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a glimmer of good news today:
It’s prison for Thomas DeLay.
His sentence? Three years.
So let’s hear it: Three cheers!
Please no stay! Want DeLay put away.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Crime, Election Humor, Law Satire, Legal Verse, Money Laundering, Prisons, Tom DeLay
Posted in Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Corruption Humor, Crime, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Texas Humor | 7 Comments »
Thursday, December 16th, 2010
Gail Collins isn’t too impressed with incoming speaker of the House John Boehner’s Crying Game, and neither am I.
And Timothy Egan does a great job seeing through Boehner’s bountiful tears:
It’s when he talks about how he rose from his humble past — the son of a bar owner, one of 12 children who grew up in a small home with a single bathroom — that Boehner starts to weep.
“Making sure these kids have a shot at the American Dream like I did is very important,” he said, choking up, when asked on “60 Minutes” about his crying.
But a look at Boehner’s record during his two decades in Congress shows a man who has voted against nearly every boost for the working stiff. There’s no empathy for those with the longest shots at the American Dream in his voting pattern. Instead, we see a politician who is hard-hearted in his legislative treatment of the people now coping with the kind of economic conditions in which the Boehner family grew up.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Booing Boehner’s Boo-Hooing
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rep. Boehner cries crocodile tears.
He’s been feigning compassion for years.
Though his tears say “he cares,”
His vote record blares
That he likes kicking poor folk downstairs.
Tags: Crocodile Tears, Gail Collins, John Boehner
Posted in Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, John Boehner, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, October 26th, 2010
Every so often I sum up a period in alpha-political verse. For instance, I did one about the opening months of the Obama administration. I also did two about the Bush administration, one a not-so-fond farewell to Bush and Cheney and the other a satirical summary of their disastrous first term.
This mid-term election period has been so bizarre, that I couldn’t resist doing another one:
Alpha-Political Verse: Election 2010
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A is for Alaska, whose incumbent needs good spelling.
B is for Barack. The GOP sure wants his dwelling.
C is for Christine who’s anti-gay and masturbation.
D’s for Delaware debates, where laughter ain’t ovation.
E is for elections. Dems lose bad — so say the seers.
F’s for foreign cash galore supporting GOPers.
G is for Glenn Beck and all the crazy stuff he says.
H is for Sec. Hillary. Too bad that gal ain’t Prez.
I’s for Darrell Issa who is itching to impeach.
J is for John Boehner — smells majority in reach.
K is for Ken Mehlman who is fin’ly out as gay.
L’s for Libertarians who, like Rand, to regs say “Nay!”
M is for Joe Miller — seems he doesn’t like the press.
N’s for Speaker Nancy P. Her House is sure a mess.
O’s For Bill O’Reilly versus Joy and Whoopi. Wow!
P’s for Paladino. Angry bully? Yes, and how!
Q’s for all the questions the extremists won’t address.
R’s for Reid’s tough Angle bout. I’m worried, I confess.
S is for Mike Steele who claims to run the RNC.
T is for the Tenthers and their anti-fed law spree.
U is for our Union which secessionists would flee.
V is for the voters drinking Kool-Aid-flavored tea.
W’s for the many wars we’re fighting — can’t keep track.
X is for the xenophobic anti-”other” pack.
Y is for the youth. We really need them at the polls.
And Z’s for right-wing zealots. We must squash their ugly goals.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Extremist Candidates, GOP Humor, Obama Verse, Voting Limerick, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »
Thursday, October 14th, 2010
Jonathan Chait does a great job explaining what a Republican win would mean: If Republicans gain control of the House, they will almost certainly impeach President Obama on some flimsy pretext.
Chait’s lowdown on Darrell Issa, the itching-for-impeachment would-be chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, is a must-read.
Guess Who’s Itching For Impeachment (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican threat is in reach:
Take over the House — then impeach.
What’s the crime? It’s a gem:
Prez Obama’s a Dem!
So please vote. We can’t risk such a breach.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Darrell Issa, Election Humor, House Republicans, Impeachment, Jonathan Chait, President Obama
Posted in 44 Humor, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Darrell Issa, Election Satire, Faux Controversies, House Satire, Impeachment Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Voting Satire, Washington, White House, Wingnuts | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, September 28th, 2010
For some reason, many Republicans view House Republican Conference Chairman Mike Pence (Indiana) as being smart. And yet just about any policy discussion reveals him to be an ignorant moron.
Limerick Ode To Mike Pence
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republican Congressman Pence
Has never made one lick of sense.
Why he’s viewed by his peers
To have brains tween his ears
Is a puzzle to Dems quite immense.
Tags: House Republicans, Indiana, Mike Pence, Republicans Humor
Posted in Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, Mike Pence, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
Hey Dems, if you’re feeling disappointed, disgusted, and apathetic, you’re not alone. I feel your pain, and so do lots of other Democrats.
The enthusiasm gap between Democrats and Republicans is huge and growing every day. And this could have dire results: Republicans, the very people who got us into this mess, might very well take over both the House and the Senate.
You think you’re miserable now? Just imagine how depressed you’ll feel in November, if Democrats are no-shows at the voting booths, handing both Congressional houses over to the GOP.
That leads me to my latest limerick:
Apathy, Schmapathy — Dems Still Have To Vote!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The voters are feeling enraged.
Disappointment’s made Dems disengaged.
But a GOP win
Would be tragic — a sin.
So a voting war has to be waged.
Tags: Democratic Enthusiasm Gap, Democrats, Election Humor, GOP Humor, Republicans Humor, Voter Apathy
Posted in Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Senate Satire | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010
I don’t meant to minimize the importance of the Congressional ethics charges against Rep. Charlie Rangel. But I can’t help wondering why the media can’t spare just a bit of space to cover the FBI’s criminal investigation into Sen. John Ensign. Hey journalists — I thought you liked covering juicy scandals involving money and sex.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Why So “Liberal” With Charlie Rangel Coverage?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’ve a question dear journos — a gem.
And kindly don’t haw and don’t hem.
Where’s your cov’rage of Ensign?
You sure love dispensin’
The dirt on Rep. Rangel — the Dem.
Tags: Charlie Rangel, Double Standards, Ethics, FBI, John Ensign, Media Bias, Media Humor, Nevada, New York
Posted in Congress Humor, Corruption Humor, Crime, John Ensign, Media Satire, Nevada Humor, New York Politics, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | Comments Off
Rep. Broun’s SOTU Claptrap
Friday, January 21st, 2011Although I have strong feelings about most things political, I don’t care whether Democrats and Republicans adopt Sen. Mark Udall’s (D-CO) proposal to sit together during Obama’s State of the Union address. I suppose it’s a nice civility gesture. But I just don’t think it makes much of a difference one way or another.
That said, I think the frequently uncivil Rep. Paul Broun’s (R-GA) reaction to the mixed seating proposal was absurd:
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Rep. Broun’s SOTU Claptrap
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rep. Broun is a very odd chap:
Says mixed seating at SOTU’s a “trap.”
When “Obama spews out
All his venom” can’t shout.
Nearby Dems might force poor Broun to clap.
Tags: Civility Humor, Congress Humor, Mark Udall, Mixed Seating, Paul Broun, President Obama, SOTU, State Of The Union Address
Posted in 44 Humor, Barack Obama, Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Washington, White House, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »