Archive for October, 2006

Ode To Lynne Cheney; Mad Kane On The Radio

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006

Today I have a limerick about Lynne “What Lesbian Novel?” Cheney, and her audacity in bashing Jim Webb as a smut writer. But first some info about my appearance last Friday on The Surreal News Show on Sarasota, Florida’s WSLR 96.5 LP FM Radio.

The interview went pretty well – nearly 45 minutes of talk about politics, humor, limerick writing, George Bush & Laura, Rush Limbaugh and Michael J. Fox, Katherine Harris, 9/11, etc.

I also read a few of my poems, sang one of my song parodies, and talked about how I went from oboe playing, to lawyering, to GOP mockery.

If you’d like to give it a listen, it’s archived here. (My segment begins ten minutes into the show.)

And now, my latest limerick:

Ode to Lynne “What Lesbian Novel?” Cheney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The author of Sisters, named Lynne,
Thinks her party at all costs must win.
She denies that her book
Has a lesbian hook,
And blasts Dems for their fictional sin. [tags]Lynne Cheney, Senate Race, Jim Webb, George Allen, Sarasota, Florida, WSLR Radio, Surreal News, Lesbian Novel, Sisters, Election Humor, GOP Porn[/tags]

Nixing The Chicks (Haiku)

Monday, October 30th, 2006

Nixing the Chicks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

NBC nixes
Ad for Dixie Chicks movie.
Flips bird at fairness.

(The song parody I wrote back in 2003 about the Dixie Chicks being treated like traitors is here.) [tags]Country Music, Dixie Chicks, Documentary, Patriotism Humor, NBC Ads, Censorship[/tags]

Rush Limbaugh Verse (Updated)

Thursday, October 26th, 2006

I usually avoid writing about (or listening to) Rush Limbaugh.  But Limbaugh’s outrageous attack on the ailing Michael J. Fox, followed by his non-apology apology, inspired me to write this pair of poems. First, my Rush haiku:

Limbaugh’s Fox attack:
Pestilence in broadcasting,
Toxic radio.

And now, my limerick:

Limbaugh maligned Michael Fox,
Who is ill and admired and rocks.
But drug popping Rush
Doesn’t know when to hush,
And he’s happy to sick people mock.

Update: For some Limbaugh laughs, check out Don Davis’s Limbaugh ‘Stays The Coarse’: Claims FDR Faked Polio, and Limbaughtomy.
And for your further reading (and viewing) pleasure:
*** Norm at OneGoodMove has Letterman’s amusing February video.
*** The latest Carnival of Satire.
*** The latest Carnival of the Liberals.
*** The latest Carnival of the Vanities.
*** Why did the Bush family, via daughter Jenna, purchase over 98,000 acres of land in Paraguay? Scorpio has an interesting theory, and Skippy has another good theory. (Via Avedon Carol)
*** The Carnival of Success.
[tags]Rush Limbaugh, Michael J. Fox, Campaign Ads, Senate Campaign, Stem Cell Research, Parkinson’s Disease, Talk Shows, Radio Humor, Disability, Election Advertising, Election Humor[/tags]

Leave No Bewildered Bush Behind (Haiku)

Wednesday, October 25th, 2006

Dear Dub,

You seem to be having a tough time telling the difference between “tactics” and “strategy.” Perhaps this haiku will help:

Tactic: Language games.
Strategy: Deceive voters.
Goal: Win at all cost. 
[tags]Bush Haiku, Election Humor, Voters, Bush Lies, Language Games, Iraq Strategy, War Tactics, War Goals[/tags]

The “He Misled” Theme Song (Song Parody)

Wednesday, October 25th, 2006

The “He Misled” Theme Song (Sing to the Mr. Ed Theme Song.)
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Bush never said “stay the course,” of course.
And no one can challenge this ass of horse.
He lies, perforce, to change the course of election day ahead.

Go right to the source. He’ll lie of course.
Won’t give you an answer that you’ll endorse.
He’s never on a truthful course.
Lies you will be fed.

Pundits yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day.
And talking heads will rarely challenge the lies that the Bushies say.

George Dubya has no remorse, of course,
And Georgie will lie till his voice is hoarse.
He’d love to rule all the world by force.

But listen to this:

Happy days ahead!

(My previous “stay the course” humor is here and my song parodies are collected here.)[tags]Stay The Course, Election Day, Bush Misled, Bush Lies, Talking Heads, Pundits[/tags]

Chatty Jack

Wednesday, October 25th, 2006

Jack Abramoff has been so helpful to the FBI’s widening corruption investigation, that they’ve given him his own desk. I never thought I’d say this, but keep up the great work, Jack!

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Chatty Jack
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Felon Jack has turned out to be chatty.
Were he female, some might call him catty.
He’s been telling great tales,
That could send guys to jail.
And he’s driving Republicans batty.

And now for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:

*** Media Matters on Joe Lieberman and the lazy New York Times. (Via Skippy, who, like me, has started a second blog.)

*** Norm can always be counted on to provide video of Keith Olbermann’s great commentary. (And speaking of Norm, he’s just launched a forum.) 

*** From The Specious Report, Rush Limbaugh Denies Going Off Meds to Criticize Fox.

*** Don Davis’s GOP Congress To Bush: ‘Don’t Stand So Close To Me’

*** Shakespeare’s Sister observes an interesting phenomena: Boy, those Republicans sure know how to write sex books! [tags]Jack Abramoff, Republican Corruption, Congressional Corruption, FBI Humor, Justice Department, Criminal Investigation[/tags]

Bush Stays His Lying Course

Monday, October 23rd, 2006

Watching Dubya lie isn’t exactly a novelty.  But claiming he never said “stay the course” is pretty damn brazen, even for Bush. And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Bush Stays His Lying Course
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Of Iraq Dubya said, “stay the course.”
He repeated it till he was hoarse.
Yet he lies and avers:
I never used those words.
From the facts and the truth Dub’s divorced.

For more on this topic, check out Last Days Of President Bush, Just One Minute, Balloon Juice, Donklephant, Media Matters, The Washington Post and, on a lighter note, Don Davis.
[tags]Stay The Course, Bush Lies, Iraq Humor[/tags]

Recently On My Other (Non-Political) Blog

Monday, October 23rd, 2006

Here’s what I’ve posted recently on my other (non-political humor) blog:

Wine Tasting Robots, Oh My!
Attention Wal-Mart … Patients?
Secret Shopper
Ode To Genetically Altered Cats
False Alarm
How To Disorganize Your Life
Ode To Spinach
Musical Accord
Ode To the Segway Scooter
How To Plan A Trip
The Wonderbra Song
[tags]Wine Humor, Shopping Humor, Cat Humor, Wonderbra Humor, Travel Humor, Segway Humor, Spinach Humor, Music Humor[/tags]

Dear Peggy

Sunday, October 22nd, 2006

It’s always embarrassing for me to admit this, but Peggy Noonan and I  went to the same high school –  Massapequa High School on Long Island, New York. (I didn’t know her, though. Or if I did, I don’t remember her.)

As a sister Massapequan, I like to write Peggy Noonan the occasional poem.  Today’s verse was inspired by this Peggy Noonan Wall Street Journal column, as dissected by Eric Boehlert in Media Matters.

Dear Peggy
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Peg’s practicing projection
As the wingnuts often do.
Noonan’s accusations
Versus Dems come right on cue.

Conservatives are civil?
And the Dems would stop dissent?
Peggy, it’s your allies
Who would discourse circumvent.

My Peggy Noonan haiku is here, and my post about the many famous Massapequans (Jerry Seinfeld, the Baldwin brothers, etc.) is here.[tags]Peggy Noonan, Wall Street Journal, Massapequa High School, Massapequans, Media Matters, Projection, Dissent, Civil Discourse, Jerry Seinfeld, Baldwin Brothers[/tags]

GOP Terror Ad Haiku

Friday, October 20th, 2006

What Atrios said, but in a pair of haiku:

Bin Laden is back,
Touted in GOP ads.
They’re proud of failure?

Frightening people
Is the goal of terrorists,
Like the GOP.
[tags]Terrorism, GOP Ads, Bin Laden, Scare Tactics, Bush Failure[/tags]

Entertaining Books: The Republican Playbook; Anonymous Lawyer

Friday, October 20th, 2006

I have two funny books to recommend today. Let’s start with The Republican Playbook, by the always entertaining Andy Borowitz. Somehow or another Borowitz got hold of Dubya’s personally annotated copy of the GOP Bible. (I’m betting pretzels were involved.) And, as Bush himself scribbles on the back cover:

Note to self: this book contains all our dirtiest tricks… If it ever gets out, we’re toast. Make sure it doesn’t fall out of pocket while on bike!

It’s a very amusing read!

And speaking of amusing reads, Anonymous Lawyer, by Jeremy Blachman, made me laugh out loud. You may already be familiar with Blachman’s blog of the same name.  Well the book is even better, a satirical look at law firm life from the viewpoint of a fictional hiring partner at a large law firm in a major city.  It reminded me why I don’t practice law anymore, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

[tags]Funny Books, Andy Borowitz, The Republican Playbook, Jeremy Blachman, Anonymous Lawyer, Books Reviews[/tags]

Trade Deficit, Budget Deficit, Truth Deficit

Monday, October 16th, 2006

Every time I start thinking the press may finally be doing its job, I run across another example of media laziness and gullibility.  

For instance, the record shattering August U.S. trade deficit received minimal coverage, almost as if it were a non-event.

Yet many “journalists” seemed all too eager to report, unchallenged, Bush’s “halving the budget deficit” claim, though this assertion is patently false.

But perhaps I’m not being fair. Cause let’s face it,  Bush style accounting could improve just about anybody’s budget. Think how rosy yours would look if, with the flick of a black pen, you moved major expenses (housing? energy?) off budget.

And now it’s time for a limerick duo:

Trading On Fiction
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The trade gap is higher than ever.
Will Republicans fix it? No, never!
Yet the GOP yells:
“The economy’s swell.”
Don’t forget to click “Dem” with that lever.

Budget Reality Gap
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The deficit’s halved, claims George Dub.
But it’s gone way, way up. There’s the rub.
Yet the press prints and buys
Georgie Dubya’s big lies.
Once again, hard reality’s scrubbed.

For your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Norm at OneGood Move brings us the always hilarious Lewis Black.
* Skippy brings us a Kerry cahones video. (Now he grows a pair?)
* From Kevin Hayden, GOP’s Top Bloggers Abandon Ship, While Remaining in Denial.
* From Don Davis, Top Ten Things The Bushies Are Saying Behind The Evangelicals’ Backs.
* From The Talking Dog, an interview with Dr. Steven Miles, medical professor at the U. of Minnesota, and author of “Oath Betrayed” discussing medical complicity in torture, prisoner abuse, et al, in the war on terror.
[tags]Deficit Spending, Budget Deficit, Trade Deficit, Trade Gap, Press Humor, Gullible Journalists, Budget Lies, Off Budget Items[/tags]

Ode To The Garish Katherine Harris (Updated)

Thursday, October 12th, 2006

Ode To The Garish Katherine Harris (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

The gal who stole Bush his “election,”
Now is spurned like a lethal infection.
Her makeup is strange,
And she acts quite deranged.
She’s the fruit of unnat’ral selection.

My previous Katherine Harris limerick is here. And for more Katherine Harris humor, don’t miss the Instant Message from Rep. Mark Foley to Sen. Katherine Harris, as channeled by Alan Bisbort and About.com’s Katherine Harris humor section.

And speaking of Katherine Harris, I was just invited to appear on a radio show right smack in the middle of Harris’s turf: The Surreal News Show on Sarasota, Florida’s WSLR 96.5 LP FM Radio.   My appearance is tentatively scheduled for Friday morning, October 27th, and I’ll post more info once details are finalized.

Oh, I almost forgot — the latest  Carnival of the Liberals has been posted at World Wide Webers and it’s another good one.  And be sure to read Don Davis’s very amusing The Great ‘Illiterary’ Contest: ‘Name’ The Bush Memoir and the latest (and always excellent) Carnival of Satire and to check out The Crisis In Our Nation’s Pants.

Update: I think the interview went fairly well and, if you’d like to, you can listen to it here.
[tags]Congresswoman Katherine Harris, Stealing Elections, Progressive Radio, Liberal Radio[/tags]

The Buck Stops … On Clinton? (Updated)

Wednesday, October 11th, 2006

Bush is still rejecting the idea of bilateral talks with North Korea, claiming that they failed to work during Bill Clinton’s administration. Meanwhile, Bush’s flame throwing surrogate, John McCain, says North Korea’s nuclear test, conducted nearly six years into Dubya’s presidency, is Bill Clinton’s fault.  So, does that mean Monica was Bush Sr.’s fault?

And that brings me to my latest haiku:

The Buck Stops … On Clinton? (Haiku)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

North Korea’s nukes
Are Clinton’s fault, claims McCain.
Bill’s still Prez?  Who knew?

Update: Right after John “Straight Talk” McCain’s finger pointing, McCain blasted people for North Korea related finger pointing. [tags]Bilateral Talks, Nuclear Tests, Nuclear Technology, Senator McCain, President Clinton, North Korea Sanctions[/tags]

No Penance For Dennis?

Tuesday, October 10th, 2006

Since blaming Democrats and the media didn’t stick, Denny Hastert is now trying to  shift blame to his staff. (Via Atrios) And that brings me to my latest limerick:

No Penance For Dennis?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Hastert is blaming his staff,
But those in the know have to laugh.
Moms and dads are appalled
By his Foley bad call.
Does he think U.S. voters are daft?
[tags]Denny Hastert, Foley Scandal, House Speaker Hastert, Family Values, Blame Game[/tags]

Nuclear Test? Testy Prez

Tuesday, October 10th, 2006

Nuclear Test? Testy Prez
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

A part of the “axis of evil,”
North Korea has caused some upheaval.
It claims to have nukes,
Which inspired rebukes
From our fear-mong’ring Prez medieval.

More about North Korea’s nuclear threat:
* From Heather Wokusch, North Korea’s Nuclear Test and Bush’s FUBAR Foreign Policy.
* From Mona at Inactivist, On the NoKo bomb: Do not “describe it almost in breathless World War III terms,” and vote GOP.
* From Steve Bates, Hackses of Evil.
* From Taylor Marsh, North Korea Got The Message.
* From Glenn Greenwald, Invading Iraq and the North Korean Threat — a Historical Reminder.

And for your general reading pleasure:
* From Don Davis, It’s The E-Sodomy Stupid.
* Carnival of the Decline of Democracy.
[tags]Axis Of Evil, North Korea, Nuclear Proliferation, Nuclear Tests[/tags]

Ode To Keith Olbermann

Monday, October 9th, 2006

Olbermann goes
Where others don’t dare.
It’s amazing that Keith
Remains on the air.

[tags]Keith Olbermann, News Commentary, MSNBC Host, Media Humor, Cable News[/tags]

Dirty Denny

Friday, October 6th, 2006

Dirty Denny
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a House Speaker Denny,
With character not worth a penny.
He failed to shield teens
From a boy-obsessed fiend.
Family values? He doesn’t have any.
[tags]Denny Hastert, Foley Scandal, House Speaker Hastert, Family Values[/tags]

Fordham Axed, Scapegoated To The Max

Wednesday, October 4th, 2006

Tom Reynolds would have us believe that the GOP House leaders would surely have done something about Foley’s House page proclivities long ago, if only evil Kirk Fordham (Reynolds’ chief of staff) hadn’t talked them out of it.  And that brings me to this limerick:

Fordham Axed, Scapegoated To The Max
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Congressman Reynolds’ charade
Is dumping Kirk Fordham, his aide.
He is shifting the blame
For the page abuse shame,
So House Leaders can justice evade.

More on the Foley House Page Scandal for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* From Shakespeare’s Sister, Fordham will not go gently into that good night.
* One Good Move has the Daily Show clip: Foley Erect.
* Skippy presents Pedophile Theater.
* From Don Davis, The ‘Dirty Dozen’ Foley Stories The Corporate Media Won’t Report.
* Avedon Carol on Foley’s law and Foley’s law-breaking.
* From Steve Bates, A Different Kind Of Coverup.
* From Hollywood Liberal, Fox News calls Mark Foley a Democrat.
* From Mahablog, The Condi and Dennis Show.
* Digby’s Coup, Coup Cajoob.
* All Hat No Cattle’s Finger Pointing 

[tags]Tom Reynolds, Foley Scandal, House Leadership, Hastert’s Coverup, Kirk Fordham, GOP Scapegoat, Finger Pointing[/tags]

Hastert Haiku

Wednesday, October 4th, 2006

Hastert must resign
Because of his coverup.
No “buts,” no delay.

[tags]Denny Hastert, Mark Foley, GOP Scandal, GOP Leadership, House Speaker[/tags]