Archive for March, 2020

Non-Brief-Briefer-In-Chief (Limerick)

Monday, March 30th, 2020

Headline: “As the pandemic rages, the president brags”

Here’s a typical Trump tweet of late:
“My press conf’rence ratings are great!”
On TV, Donald prates
As his ego inflates,
While for briefings from experts we wait.

Irrational Polls (Limerick)

Friday, March 27th, 2020

Headline: “Trump’s Approval Jumps Five Points”

A rise in the Donald’s approval
Transcends logic; he merits removal!
Such a gain in our national
Polls is irrational…
As peculiar as numbers from Liouville.*

*If you don’t understand my reference to mathematician Joseph Liouville, here’s a helpful link. And no, I’d never heard of him before, either. But when you’re desperate for a rhyme word, sometimes you have to research math.

Health-Menace-In-Chief

Wednesday, March 25th, 2020

Headline: “CNN and MSNBC Staff Push Back on Airing Trump’s Coronavirus ‘Lies’”

From the Donald the truth’s rather rare.
Crisis briefings? There’s lying to spare.
Trump is flooding our nation
With false information.
Knock his dangerous rants off the air!

Trump Prioritizes Economy Over Lives (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 25th, 2020

Headline: “Trump says he wants the country ‘opened up and just raring to go by Easter,’ despite health experts’ warnings”

The Donald’s inclined to retreat
From the fight for our lives, in defeat:
Forget germs! Fill each church!
Watch his policy lurch,
As he spouts off in presser and tweet.

Put A Sock In It, Donald! (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 24th, 2020

Donald’s briefings for COVID-19
Should be banished from speaker and screen.
They’re a rally replacement
And lie-packed debasement.
Let the experts (sans Donald!!!) convene.

Essentially New York (Limerick)

Sunday, March 22nd, 2020

Headline: “Cheers! New York liquor stores deemed ‘essential’ and can stay open amid coronavirus crisis”

What’s “essential” right here in New York?
Nearly anything needing a fork.
Drugs and paper goods too,
And to this I say, WHEW:
Refreshments that come with a cork.

Under-Deliverer-In-Chief (Limerick)

Friday, March 20th, 2020

Headline: “Over-promising and under-delivering during a crisis is a toxic combination”

Over-promising, under-delivering;
The Donald has citizens quivering
With anger and fear.
His failures are sheer:
Lead to death and more feverish shivering.

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Thursday, March 19th, 2020

Dear Donald stop being a sleaze;
Cease calling the virus “Chinese.”
Do not spread racist blame!
COVID-19’s its name,
Coined by pros; folks with real expertise.

Trump’s Magic Touch (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 17th, 2020

When the Donald appears on tv,
A deep Dow drop’s a fait accompli.
Into freefall it goes,
Which compounds all our woes…
And with bars closed, there’s nowhere to flee.

Zip It, Donald (Limerick)

Thursday, March 12th, 2020

Dear Donald, it’s time to stop talking.
How ’bout filling your mouth-hole with caulking?
You keep making things worse,
So it’s time to be terse…
Or resign and go back to your hawking.

Wimpy Trump Ducks Pelosi (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 11th, 2020

Headline: “Trump reportedly won’t meet with Pelosi on a coronavirus bill, or for any reason, because he’s mad at her”

Trump won’t meet with Pelosi; he’s bruised
And aggrieved, wounded, hurt — feels misused.
She impeached him and tore
Up his speech, so he’s sore.
Yes he needs her, but contact? Refused!

Mitt Romney Pens A Limerick

Monday, March 9th, 2020

Mitt Romney has penned a limerick, inspired by these two headlines:

“SEN. MITT ROMNEY DISINVITED FROM CPAC 2020 AFTER VOTING TO HEAR WITNESS TESTIMONY IN IMPEACHMENT TRIAL”

“4 members of Congress — including lawmaker who shook Trump’s hand — to self-quarantine after CPAC”

Here’s Romney’s limerick:

Dear CPAC, your disinvitation
Was a blessing. I’m feeling elation;
It seems Covid-19
Was, alas, at your scene,
And I wasn’t, so thanks. Big ovation!

Crisis-Mishandler-In-Chief (Limerick)

Saturday, March 7th, 2020

Empty bluster, denial, subversion,
Specious happy-talk, falsehood immersion;
Ev’ry Trumpy technique
For a crisis seems weak
When applied to a viral incursion.

AWOL Test Kits? (Limerick)

Friday, March 6th, 2020

Headline: “‘BROKEN’ CORONAVIRUS TESTING PROCESS IN U.S. COULD HAVE ENABLED COVID-19 TO SPREAD ‘SILENTLY’ FOR WEEKS, EXPERTS WARN”

U.S. testing for COVID-19
Is so lacking, the number’s obscene.
Tests promised by Feds
Never come. Virus spreads!
But to Trump, things are great! Peachy keen!

Leave It To Trump To Make A Bad Situation Much Worse (Limerick)

Thursday, March 5th, 2020

Headline: “Trump floats his own coronavirus hunches on ‘Hannity’ The president contradicts public health experts statements on death rate, contagion.”

The Donald’s profusion of lies
Has gone viral, so death could arise
From confusion he sows,
Contradicting the pros.
A worse plan one could never devise.

Applauding Mayor Pete (Limerick)

Sunday, March 1st, 2020

I’m bracing for the angry comments likely to come my way:

Mayor Pete, thanks for ending your race.
Though it isn’t your time, you’re an ace.
By shrinking your lane,
The “Stop Bernie” train
Might succeed — that’s the challenge we face.