Archive for August, 2012

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Birther” Romney

Saturday, August 25th, 2012

The Birther crowd surely loved this alleged joke from Mitt Romney:

Mitt Romney descended into birther politics today, when he joked during a campaign stop that “No one’s ever asked to see my birth certificate.”

“I love being home, where the both of us were born,” Romney said at a rally in his native Michigan. “Ann was born in Henry Ford Hospital. I was born in Harper Hospital.”

“No one’s ever asked to see my birth certificate,” he continued. “They know this is the place where we were born and raised!”

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Birther” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

No one ever has questioned my birth,
Brags Mitt Romney, with make-believe mirth.
His “joke” was a hit.
Stay classy, dear Mitt.
Boost the Birthers. It shows your true worth.

Platitudes And Platforms (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 21st, 2012

Dear Republicans: If your Platform Committee is going to endorse an “abortion plank that includes no exemptions for rape, incest or even to save the life of the mother,” why bother condemning Todd Akin’s outrageous rape comments?

Were you hoping we wouldn’t notice that your platform is just as misogynous as the guy you’re condemning?

Platitudes And Platforms (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP Platform Committee
Re abortion is lacking in pity
For victims of rape
And of incest: They ape
Akin’s attitude: Irony city!

Limerick Ode To Smear-Meister Mitt Romney

Monday, August 20th, 2012

Your average politician, when caught and called on a blatant lie, will stop repeating it. But not Mitt Romney.

Mitt’s welfare-related smear, claiming Obama has ended welfare’s work mandates is indisputably false, having been famously debunked three weeks ago. And yet Romney still won’t stop repeating it in speeches and using it in fresh ads.

Limerick Ode To Smear-Meister Mitt Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

For Romney, the truth holds no sway,
As his lies mount up day after day.
Welfare, health care and tax—
With the facts he is lax,
Treating voters like ignorant prey.

Paul Ryan’s Stimulus Flimflam (Limerick)

Friday, August 17th, 2012

In one fell swoop, Paul Ryan’s been caught in a web of hypocrisy and lies over Obama’s stimulus package:

After repeated denials, Paul Ryan has admitted he requested stimulus cash even after sharply criticizing the program.

Ryan had denied doing so as recently as Wednesday, when he spoke to ABC’s Cincinnati affiliate, WCPO, in Ohio.

“I never asked for stimulus,” Mitt Romney’s new running mate said. “I don’t recall… so I really can’t comment on it. I opposed the stimulus because it doesn’t work, it didn’t work.”

Two years ago, during an interview on WBZ’s NewsRadio he was asked by a caller if he “accepted any money” into his district. Ryan said he did not.

“I’m not one [of those] people who votes for something then writes to the government to ask them to send us money. I did not request any stimulus money,” the congressman answered.

But as we’ve now learned, Ryan did write letters. He did request stimulus funds.

Paul Ryan’s Stimulus Flimflam (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Paul Ryan’s been caught in a lie
And hypocrisy too — what a guy!
To the stim he said, “No!”
Yet he asked for stim dough,
Then denied that he did it. Pork pie!

Ryan’s Taxing Plan (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

Ryan’s Taxing Plan (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans love to submit:
“Ryan’s plan will reduce your tax hit.”
Though I’d like to deny
It I can’t, and here’s why:
It is true, if you’re wealthy like Mitt.

Yet Another PolitiFiction Limerick

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

After last year’s Politifact “Lie of the Year” debacle, I’ve been trying to just ignore Politifact’s Truth-O-Meter fakery.

But Politifact is to “truth” what Fox News is to “fair and balanced,” and it does a tremendous amount of damage. Here’s Scott Lemieux on Politifact’s latest just-pretend truth-telling regarding Harry Reid’s claim that he was told Romney didn’t pay taxes for ten years:

Once again, [Politifact has] awarded a “pants on fire” award, in this case to Harry Reid, despite providing no evidence whatsoever that Reid lied. Here’s the problem:

“Many readers asked us to put Reid’s claim to the Truth-O-Meter. We conclude that Reid, despite repeating the claim on at least two occasions, has not produced any solid evidence it is true.”

This does not, in fact, constitute a “lie.” If it is, then Romney has told “pants on fire” lies about what he’s paid in taxes in the years we don’t have returns released for as well. And PolitiFact is double-pants-on-fire-with-an-additional-Pinocchio lying, since they haven’t provided the slightest evidence that Reid wasn’t told by someone that Romney hasn’t paid taxes. As always, PolitiFact simply doesn’t understand what facts and lies are, which is kind of a problem when you purport to be a fact-checker.

Yet Another PolitiFiction Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Politifact, kindly stop lying.
Though you claim to check facts, I’m not buying.
You pretend to the role
Of a fact-checking soul,
But it’s pro-Romney lies you’re supplying.

Limerick Ode To Romney Hood

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

President Obama has aptly named Mitt Romney “Romney Hood,” inspired by “a recent report from the non-partisan Tax Policy Institute that claims Romney’s tax proposals are likely to result in a net tax increase of $2,000 for middle-class wage earners while cutting hundreds of thousands of dollars from the tax bills of the country’s most wealthy.”

Limerick Ode To Romney Hood
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s an outlaw in town, Romney Hood,
Who’d become U.S. Prez, if he could.
He targets the poor—
Would the middle class gore.
His election plans must be withstood.

Reid v. Romney (Limerick)

Monday, August 6th, 2012

I’m pleased that Harry Reid’s doubled down on his claim that Mitt Romney may not have paid taxes for ten years. And I agree with Nancy Pelosi: If Reid says he has a good source on this, Reid has a good source on this. Unlike Mitt Romney, Reid isn’t a liar.

Instead of making assertions about what’s in his tax returns, Romney needs to follow custom and release his returns. If Romney’s lying about his tax returns now, it wouldn’t be the first time: He was caught lying about his tax returns back in 2002 regarding the critical issue of residency.

Reid v. Romney (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m glad that Reid’s on the attack
And is giving Mitt Romney some flak.
I just wish Harry Reid
In the Senate would lead
With a similar street-fighting knack.

UPDATE: Here’s a second limerick related to this topic:

Harry Reid is not up for election,
So his jab in Mitt Romney’s direction
Is fail-safe of course:
If Reid’s wrong, then his source
Just misled him. Reid’s plan is perfection.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Foreign Fumbler” Romney

Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

Mitt Romney’s image-bolstering trip to Great Britain, Israel, and Poland was jam-packed with gaffes. Yet according to Mitt, none of this is his fault: The biased media’s to blame.

But as Maddowblog’s Steve Benen puts it:

…it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when he insulted the British; it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when he misquoted the Australian finance minister; it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when his campaign kinda sorta gave the green light on a unilateral strike on Iran; it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when he used borderline-racist language at his Israeli fundraiser; it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when he praised a socialized health care system he claims to abhor; and it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when his press secretary said, “Kiss my ass. This is a Holy site.”

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Foreign Fumbler” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney’s big trip. Oy Gevalt!
A tri-country gaffe-filled assault:
Poland, Israel, Great Britain—
Still reeling from Mitten.
But of course it’s the “media’s fault.”

UPDATE: Cool news! KPCC’s Patt Morrison announced the results of her political limerick contest on her show and here. The two winning limericks are the one I posted above and one by Mason Kroll.