Archive for the ‘Governors Humor’ Category

Mitt Romney: Constitutionally Confused

Friday, March 26th, 2010

Credit where credit is due: When it comes to self-contradiction, Mitt Romney is both fearless and peerless.

Once a staunch advocate of individual health insurance mandates — the Massachusetts governor who ardently defended their constitutionality — Romney has flip-flopped. Now that they’re required by the Democrats’ Affordable Care Act, they’ve magically turned unconstitutional.

Of course, constant flip-flops can be hard on the constitution. So it’s no surprise that Mitt Romney was for individual mandates before he was against them.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Mitt Romney: Constitutionally Confused
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Individual mandates are great,
Said Mitt re Mass. health bill’s debate.
Now he swears that they’re awful
And even unlawful.
Your claims, my dear Mitt — get them straight.

Mark Sanford, The Not-So-Frugal Traveler

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

South Carolina’s Governor Mark Sanford sure has expensive travel habits for such a “frugal conservative.”

The Not-So-Frugal Traveler (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Making staffers use each Post-It side,
Mark Sanford would wastefulness chide.
Then he’d charter a plane,
Throwing cash down the drain.
Sanford sure took his state for a ride.

Related Posts: Ode to Mark “Sweet Talker” Sanford; Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy; and Mark Sanford — Lost? Or Losing It?

Translating Sarah

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Why does Sarah Palin need to be Alaska’s governor, when she has Facebook?

Translating Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The media’s mean, so I quit:
(That’s the message that Palin has writ.)
And you don’t need a title
To do something vital.
I’m betting she runs against Mitt.

Flailin’ Palin

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Help! I can’t keep those Republican governors straight. For instance, why is Sarah Palin giving up her Alaska Governor gig? Some sort of wildlife scandal involving “dead fish” and a “lame duck?”

Flailin’ Palin (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Political blogs are atwitter
With news of Gov. Palin, the quitter.
Is it scandal or plans
To join prez also-rans?
Once aglitter, she’s GOP litter.

Ode to Mark “Sweet Talker” Sanford

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford shouldn’t resign because he’s an unfaithful, lying, hypocrite … although he’s all that and more. He should resign because he’s a moron! Only a blithering idiot could, in one breath, publicly describe his lover as his “soul mate” and, in the next breath, vow to salvage his marriage and fall back in love with his wife, Jenny.

Ode to Mark “Sweet Talker” Sanford
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Sanford, you need to stay mum
Cuz your statements are dumb as they come.
Tell me: Why would your wife
Take you back in this life,
When your soul mate’s another? You bum!


Sunday, June 28th, 2009

I’ve heard some twisted rationalizations over the years. But Rush Limbaugh’s attempt at blaming Obama for Mark Sanford’s failings really takes the cake.

A double limerick, just for Rush Limbaugh:

By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rush claims that Obama’s to blame
For Sanford’s disgrace and his shame:
The stimulus bill
Destroyed Sanford’s will.
Wow, even for Limbaugh, that’s lame.

When a Democrat strays — no excuse!
Just right-wing attacks and abuse.
But conservative sins
Are spinned — turned to wins.
Try to reason with Rush? It’s no use!

Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

All the explanations for Gov. Mark Sanford’s absence — the recharging, the writing, the catching up on projects, the naked Appalachian Trail hiking — are officially inoperative. Come to think of it, Sanford did take a hike — from his obligations to his wife and family and to his constituents.

A secret Argentinean affair! Wow! You have to give the righteous Republican Brownie points for creativity:

Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The myst’ry of Sanford is solved.
We have learned an affair is involved.
Argentinean tryst!
Now that’s quite a twist.
Say goodbye to his Prez hopes. Dissolved!

Mark Sanford — Lost? Or Losing It?

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

I don’t know what’s weirder — the fact that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s been missing since Thursday, or that his wife doesn’t seem at all worried.

Mark Sanford — Lost? Or Losing It? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gov. Sanford — oh let’s call him Mark —
Has left his whole state in the dark.
He’s gone missing, they say.
Can they reach him? No way!
Is he nuts, or just lost in some park?

Update: Here’s my favorite rumor about South Carolina’s missing governor: Mark Sanford may have been hiking naked.

Update 2: Now that Governor Sanford’s fessed up to an Argentinean tryst, I’ve written him another limerick.