Archive for the ‘FEC Satire’ Category

Don’t Fall For Trump’s Trompe-L’œil

Tuesday, June 16th, 2015

Don’t Fall For Trump’s Trompe-L’œil
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Trump, you’ve announced that you’ll run.
But I know it’s a stunt, and you’ll shun
That financial report.
When it’s due, you’ll abort…
After relishing limelight-filled fun.

NOTE: A presidential candidate can, in theory, “run” for four months without filing his personal financial disclosure with the FEC … and then abandon the campaign. And I’m betting Trump will do exactly that.

Why? Cuz Trump can BS all he wants to on his two-page unsworn-to summary of assets. But the actual legal filing has to be accurate. And I’m guessing that an accurate filing wouldn’t be nearly as impressive as Trump’s “asset summary.”

The Washington Post explains the personal financial reporting requirements for a presidential candidate:

…under a 1978 federal ethics law, presidential candidates must file a personal financial disclosure with the FEC within 30 days after announcing their candidacies. (They can request two 45-day extensions.) The filing must detail their financial interests and income, as well as those of their spouses and dependent children.

Weep For The Wealthy (Limerick)

Monday, April 7th, 2014

Weep For The Wealthy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though the wealthy will publicly cheer
As campaign regs get knocked on their rear,
Some privately groan:
“No limits?” they moan.
“Buying pols is becoming too dear!”

Note from Mad Kane: Although I concocted that quote, it may be closer to the truth than you think. Here’s The Weekly Standard’s Bill Kristol, who argued on ABC’s This Week “that not every wealthy donor will embrace the outcome of the McCutcheon case, because they may now be obliged to give more:”

“All the donors I know hate this decision, of course,” he said. “This used to be a very good excuse to say to a candidate, ooh, I’m maxing out, I just can’t help your campaign.”

Free Speech Gets Pricey (Limerick)

Thursday, April 3rd, 2014

Free Speech Gets Pricey (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Remember “one person, one vote?”
Now “one dollar, one vote’s” what they wrote;
Yes, the U.S. Supremes
Favor money — in reams,
As the rich grab free speech by the throat.

Thanks to the New Yorker’s John Cassidy, for inspiring this limerick with his acerbic comment about McCutcheon v. FEC:

But Wednesday’s decision, once again a five-to-four ruling, represented another significant step away from the antiquated principle of “one person, one vote” toward the more modern, and utilitarian, notion of “one dollar, one vote.”

Supreme Priorities (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014

If you thought the Citizens United ruling undermined democracy, brace yourself: The Roberts court has made things even worse with yet another controversial 5-4 decision in McCutcheon v. FEC. Assaulting campaign finance reform once again, the Supreme Court struck down the aggregate limits on how much an individual can contribute to candidates, parties and political action committees.

As Ari Berman astutely observes:

The Court’s conservative majority believes that the First Amendment gives wealthy donors and powerful corporations the carte blanche right to buy an election but that the Fifteenth Amendment does not give Americans the right to vote free of racial discrimination.

Supreme Priorities
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Supremes freed the wealthy to buy
Politicians — an endless supply.
Seems “free speech” means “free spending,”
While “voting rights rending”
Isn’t something they care to decry.

Ode To Odious Corporate Personhood

Monday, January 25th, 2010

There’s nothing funny about the U.S. Supreme Court’s activist ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. Overruling long-held precedents, it gives corporations free rein to buy political influence, all in the name of “corporate personhood” and “free speech.”

Nor is there anything funny about the hypocrisy of self-described anti-judicial-activism Republicans who laud this calamitous decision.

And, alas, there’s nothing funny about this limerick:

Democracy’s Demise?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Justice Roberts and co are unbound,
Driving precedents precious aground.
Yet Republicans cheer,
And the sobs that we hear
Are the sounds of democracy drowned.

     

********

Lance Mannion managed to extract some humor from this judicial travesty.

Ode To John “Maverick” McCain

Thursday, March 27th, 2008

Apparently, maverick is a synonym for felon.  Who knew?

Ode To John “Maverick” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A law breaker — that’s John McCain,
Treating FEC regs with disdain.
Having championed those rules,
He plays us for fools.
Yet we still hear the mav’rick refrain.[tags]Senator John McCain Humor, McCain Maverick Satire, Election Humor, Campaign Satire, FEC Humor, White House Humor, Media Humor[/tags]