Rachel Maddow says “We should all become banks.” Why? Because all it takes for banks to get lots of taxpayer TARP money is a simple two page application. And the best part is that banks don’t have to account for the cash. (Bush’s Treasury Department requires no transparency or accountability.)
That calls for a limerick, don’t you think?
Banks To Taxpayers: Drop Dead!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Where’s your money? You’ve no right to know.
Banks account for your dough? Ho! Ho! Ho!
We are rich and white collar —
Won’t help if you holler.
Go pester a unionized co!
Tough Negotiators, Those Bushies!
Thursday, March 19th, 2009I practiced law for over a dozen years and negotiated lots of contracts. And, unlike the Bush administration, I always kept my poker face. Why? Because if you want the best possible deal, you must make the other party think that he needs you more than you need him.
So, for example, when you tell banks that they’re too big to fail, you disincentivize them from cooperating, or even telling you the truth. That’s why I’m not surprised that 13 of the “top 23 private recipients of taxpayer-funded bailouts under the $700 billion program” enacted by the Bush administration “owed more than $220 million in unpaid federal taxes” and that they lied about it on their TARP contracts.
Why bother being honest? After all, it’s not as if Bush’s Treasury Department made them back up their statements with actual tax records. Of course not — they were too big to fail.
This brings me to my latest limerick:
Tough Negotiators, Those Bushies!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear bank, we can not let you fail.
You’re too big. Pay no mind if we wail
That you owe us back tax.
Do not worry. Relax!
Cuz that huge bailout check’s in the mail.
Tags: Bailout Humor, Banks, Bush, Contracts, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Lies, Negotiating, Paulson, TARP, Taxes, Taxpayers, Treasury
Posted in Banking Humor, Ben Bernanke, Business Humor, Corruption Humor, Crime, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, George Bush Satire, Henry Paulson, Law Satire, Paulson Plan, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, TARP Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, Tim Geithner | 4 Comments »