Dear Donald, your tweets make me look
Like your lapdog; my staffers are shook.
So stop! I’m not kidding.
Cuz doing your bidding
Is hard when I look like a schnook.
Archive for the ‘Justice Department’ Category
Unconstitutional Stench of Whitaker Appointment (Limerick)
Monday, November 19th, 2018Headline: “Senate Democrats Sue to Block Whitaker Appointment”
Will a judge block Matt Whitaker’s rise
To Acting A.G.? I surmise
His appointment’s unlawful–
Unspeakably awful…
But just fine in Trump-bootlicker eyes.
Christie’s Trump Endorsement: A Limerick Explanation
Friday, February 26th, 2016Cads who covet the top Justice job,
Will endorse any vile, nasty slob,
Whose Oval campaign’s
Making gains, which explains
Why Trump’s been endorsed by “The Blob.”
Limerick Ode To AG Loretta Lynch
Thursday, June 18th, 2015Yesterday was a big day for Loretta Lynch. She was formally sworn in as U.S. Attorney General … and she joined Twitter.
So after two back-to-back Donald Trump limericks, I felt the need for some cleansing with this limerick:
To Loretta Lynch, welcome! It’s clear
From your singular, brilliant career
That you’re tough and yet fair;
About justice you care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!
I even posted it on Twitter yesterday, a couple of hours after she joined. Of course I had to alter it a bit, due to Twitter’s annoying 140 character limit. Here’s how it appeared on my Twitter feed:
2 @LorettaLynch wlcm! I cheer
Ur singular brilliant career.
Ur tough & yet fair.
Re justice u care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!
The Supreme Court Preclears Voter Suppression (Limerick)
Thursday, June 27th, 2013The U.S. Supreme Court’s hypocritical demolishment of the Voting Rights Act, followed by a rush by certain states to impose discriminatory voting restrictions, inspired this three-verse limerick:
The Supreme Court Preclears Voter Suppression (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sev’ral states who once had to preclear
Any voting law change, gave a cheer:
The Supremes set them free
To restrict votes with glee,
Which they’re doing with plans in high gear.
In its holding, both sneaky and bold,
The Sup Court said the formula’s old,
And so need not be heeded–
A new one is needed:
It freed states to fair-voting withhold.
Some are doing just that with great speed,
Which proves that old formula’s need–
That it wasn’t outdated:
Bad intent’s unabated,
And there’s nothing to stop its stampede.
Ode To Our Petulant Prez
Thursday, November 1st, 2007George Bush has been sounding extra whiney lately. The poor guy! Those abusive Dems have been torturing him, giving him a mere 98% of what he asks for.
Here’s Bush letting off steam about the possibly-in-trouble Michael Mukasey nomination for Attorney General:
“Judge Mukasey is not being treated fairly,” the president said, after taking the extraordinary step of inviting a group of reporters into the Oval Office to vent his feelings. Sitting behind his desk and leaning back in his chair, Mr. Bush said he was concerned that some people may have “lost sight of the fact that we’re at war.”
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Ode To Our Petulant Prez
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Dems are mean to Mukasey, who’s great,”
Bitches Dub, sounding rather irate.
“Don’t they know we’re at war?
Dems are making me sore!
They must do what I want. No debate!”[tags]President Bush, Michael Mukasey Humor, Attorney General Hearings, Torture Satire, Mukasey Limerick[/tags]
Shorter Michael Mukasey
Monday, October 22nd, 2007Here’s how I’d sum up Attorney General nominee Mike Mukasey’s Senate Judiciary Committee testimony about torture, waterboarding, and the U.S. Constitution:
Torture: Bad
Tortured Language: Good[tags]Michael Mukasey, Attorney General Nominee, Torture & Waterboarding Satire[/tags]
Truth On The Lam
Thursday, April 5th, 2007Rachel Maddow has an update on Orrin Hatch’s smear campaign against Carol Lam, the U.S. Attorney for San Diego who was recently fired by the Justice Department. Senator Hatch has now issued a just-barely-an-apology for telling the following lies about Lam this past Sunday on NBC’s Meet the Press:
She was a former law professor, no prosecutorial experience, and the former campaign manager in Southern California for Clinton.
I’ve summarized this sorry saga in a pair of limericks called Truth On The Lam:
Truth On The Lam
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Orrin Hatch hatched big lies about Lam,
Won’t admit that his claims are a sham.
She was wrongfully axed,
But he conjured up “facts”.
About truth Hatch does not give a damn.
Under pressure, Hatch issues a letter
To Tim Russert that isn’t much better
Than his televised lies.
Hatch just barely denies
That his Lam claims belong in the shredder. [tags]Carol Lam, Orrin Hatch, Senator Hatch, Tim Russert, Televised Lies, Rachel Maddow, Smear Campaign, U.S. Attorney, San Diego, Justice Department, NBC’s Meet The Press, Prosecutorial Experience[/tags]
Gonzo, Begone … And Take Your Pal Bush With You!
Tuesday, March 20th, 2007Kudos to Josh Marshall for his ongoing great coverage of the US Attorney purge scandal, including the involvement of Alberto Gonzales, Karl Rove, and the White House, in general.
Gonzo, Begone … And Take Your Pal Bush With You!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It appears that the Bushies conspired
To ensure that some lawyers were fired,
Cause those lawyers refused
To let laws be abused.
In political crimes Bush is mired. [tags]Alberto Gonzales, Attorney General, Gonzo Gonzales, US Attorney Purge[/tags]
Fraidy-Cat Republicans
Friday, November 20th, 2009According to Republicans, it’s way too dangerous for Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder to try terrorists in federal courts. And that seems just a wee bit odd. Because the 2002 trial of Zacarias Moussaoui, an al Qaeda terrorist often referred to as the “20th 9/11 hijacker,” was conducted in federal court on U.S. soil. And it went rather well — even Rudy Giuliani loved it!
Yet Rudy and his Republican ilk now seem terrified at the very thought of trying alleged 9/11 terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
in a New York City federal courthouse.
So, did the terrorists win between 2002 and now? Have Republicans turned yellow? Or is this simply another case of GOP hypocrisy?
Fraidy-Cat Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A terrorist trial in fed court
Under Bush met with pride and support.
No GOP sneers —
Just Republican cheers.
But a Dem do the same? Must abort!
Tags: Al Qaeda, Criminal Justice, Eric Holder, Hypocrisy, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Law Humor, Rudy Giuliani, Terrorist Trials, Zacarias Moussaoui
Posted in 9/11 Satire, Barack Obama, Crime, Gitmo Humor, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Jeff Sessions, Justice Department, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rudy Giuliani | 1 Comment »