Archive for the ‘Justice Department’ Category
Saturday, December 31st, 2022
My last Trump limerick of the year. (I hope it isn’t unduly optimistic.)
When Trump is at long last arrested,
Will he fin’ly acknowledge he’s bested
And surrender with grace
And a smile on his face?
Ha, he’ll protest with falsehoods time-tested.
Tags: Donald Trump, Election Humor, January 6, One/Six, Trump, Trump Crimes, Trump Indictment, Trump Lies
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Justice Department, Political Limericks, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Trump | No Comments »
Thursday, December 1st, 2022
Trump has lost his appeal in a rout;
Cannon’s pro-Donald rulings are out.
Special Master review
Has been halted. So cue
Sev’ral rants from that “former guy” lout.
Tags: "The Former Guy", Aileen Cannon, Classified Documents, Donald Trump, Legal Humor, Legal Limerick, Legal Verse, Limericks, Litigation Humor, Mar-a-Lago, Special Master, Stolen Documents, Trump
Posted in Donald Trump, Justice Department, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Trump | Comments Off on A Legal Adieu To Special Master Review (Limerick)
Sunday, November 20th, 2022
Since a Trump Special Counsel’s been named
By Garland, the AG’s been blamed
For political smears,
While Trump and his peers
Keep claiming he’s framed and defamed.
Trump insists that he will not “partake”
In the probe, for that treacherous snake
Thinks it makes him sound tough,
As he struggles to slough
Off his fears. Yes, he knows what’s at stake.
Tags: AG Garland, Garland, Jack Smith, Justice Department, Political Humor, Political Limericks, Special Counsel, Trump
Posted in Donald Trump, Justice Department, Political Limericks, Trump | Comments Off on 2-Verse Limerick Ode To Donald “Won’t Partake” Trump
Friday, November 18th, 2022
Dear Donald:
Congrats on your 2nd very personal Special Counsel.
What a shame that THIS TIME, you don’t have an AG willing and eager to lie about his report.
Tags: Attorney General, Donald Trump, Insurrection, Jack Smith, Mar-a-Lago, Special Counsel, Stolen Documents, Trump, Trump Investigation
Posted in Donald Trump, Justice Department, Trump | Comments Off on Open Letter To Donald Trump
Tuesday, August 30th, 2022
Headline: “Trump Is Trying To Extort America”
Donald Trump is so desp’rate to thwart
Prosecution, he’s apt to resort
To additional crimes,
Like extortion ofttimes;
Indict Trump! Get that felon to court!
Tags: Classified Documents, Criminal Humor, Criminal Limerick, Donald Trump, FBI, FBI Raid, FBI Search, Legal Humor, Legal Limerick, Mar-a-Lago, Merrick Garland, Money Limerick, Search Warrant, Search Warrants, Trump, Trump Crimes, Trump Humor, Trump Lawyers, Trump Limerick, Trump Raid, Trump Search
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Justice Department, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trump, The Extortionist (Limerick)
Thursday, August 11th, 2022
Dear Donald, it seems that your bluff
Has been called, and in you’re in quite the huff.
Garland’s move to unseal
That warrant? Big deal!
Seems you’ve shot yourself right in the duff.
Tags: Classified Documents, Criminal Humor, Criminal Limerick, Donald Trump, FBI Raid, Legal Humor, Legal Limerick, Mar-a-Lago, Merrick Garland, Money Limerick, Search Warrant, Search Warrants, Trump Humor, Trump Limerick, Trump Raid
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Justice Department, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Garland v. Trump
Thursday, February 13th, 2020
Dear Donald, your tweets make me look
Like your lapdog; my staffers are shook.
So stop! I’m not kidding.
Cuz doing your bidding
Is hard when I look like a schnook.
Tags: Attorney General, Bill Barr, Dept. of Justice, Donald Trump, Justice Dept, William Barr
Posted in Bill Barr, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Justice Department, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House, William Barr | Comments Off on Barr Pens A Limerick
Tuesday, February 11th, 2020
Two-Verse Limerick for Dueling Headlines:
Headline 1: “Trump Denounces Proposed Sentence for Roger Stone”
Headline 2: “Justice Department undercuts own prosecutors on Trump ally Stone’s sentencing”
The dictator’s at it once more,
Ably aided by Barr; ev’ry chore
Donald orders, Barr does
Why’s he do it? Becuz
They’re both scoundrels and vile to their core.
Barr forgets he’s our nation’s AG,
That his oath’s NOT to Donald, you see,
So when Donald Trump tweeted
That Stone’s been mistreated,
Fixer-Barr fulfills Donald’s decree.
Tags: Attorney General, Bill Barr, Donald Trump, Justice Department, Justice Dept, Roger Stone, Sentencing Memorandums, Sentencing Memos, William Barr
Posted in Bill Barr, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Justice Department, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trump’s Fixer (Bill Barr) Does It Again (2-Verse Limerick)
Monday, April 15th, 2019
Headline: “Mueller Report Coming on Thursday”
Though the “Mueller Report” soon’s a-coming,
Many Sharpies are busily humming
With redactions galore;
A “blackwash” full-bore!
Thanks to Barr, through a sham we’ll be thumbing.
Tags: AG Barr, Bill Barr, Donald Trump, Justice Department, Justice Dept, Mueller Report, William Barr
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Justice Department, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Bracing For Barr’s Mueller Report Whitewash (Limerick)
Sunday, April 14th, 2019
Dear Bill Barr, you have gone very far,
And your rep once was well above par.
But like most who have deigned
To join Trump, you’ve been stained;
Tainted, marred by a sycophant’s scar.
Tags: AG Barr, Bill Barr, Donald Trump, Justice Department, Justice Dept, Mueller Report, William Barr
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Justice Department, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To William Barr
Monday, November 19th, 2018
Headline: “Senate Democrats Sue to Block Whitaker Appointment”
Will a judge block Matt Whitaker’s rise
To Acting A.G.? I surmise
His appointment’s unlawful–
Unspeakably awful…
But just fine in Trump-bootlicker eyes.
Tags: AG, Attorney General, Constitution Verse, Dept. of Justice, Judiciary Humor, Legal Humor, Litigation Humor, Matt Whitaker, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Constitution Humor, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Justice Department, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Unconstitutional Stench of Whitaker Appointment (Limerick)
Friday, February 26th, 2016
Cads who covet the top Justice job,
Will endorse any vile, nasty slob,
Whose Oval campaign’s
Making gains, which explains
Why Trump’s been endorsed by “The Blob.”
Tags: Attorney General, Campaign Satire, Chris Christie, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Justice Department
Posted in Campaign Humor, Chris Christie, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Justice Department, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Christie’s Trump Endorsement: A Limerick Explanation
Thursday, June 18th, 2015
Yesterday was a big day for Loretta Lynch. She was formally sworn in as U.S. Attorney General … and she joined Twitter.
So after two back-to-back Donald Trump limericks, I felt the need for some cleansing with this limerick:
To Loretta Lynch, welcome! It’s clear
From your singular, brilliant career
That you’re tough and yet fair;
About justice you care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!
I even posted it on Twitter yesterday, a couple of hours after she joined. Of course I had to alter it a bit, due to Twitter’s annoying 140 character limit. Here’s how it appeared on my Twitter feed:
2 @LorettaLynch wlcm! I cheer
Ur singular brilliant career.
Ur tough & yet fair.
Re justice u care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!
Tags: Attorney General, Justice Department, Law Humor, Legal Humor, Legal Verse, Loretta Lynch
Posted in Justice Department, Law Satire, Loretta Lynch, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To AG Loretta Lynch
Thursday, June 27th, 2013
The U.S. Supreme Court’s hypocritical demolishment of the Voting Rights Act, followed by a rush by certain states to impose discriminatory voting restrictions, inspired this three-verse limerick:
The Supreme Court Preclears Voter Suppression (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sev’ral states who once had to preclear
Any voting law change, gave a cheer:
The Supremes set them free
To restrict votes with glee,
Which they’re doing with plans in high gear.
In its holding, both sneaky and bold,
The Sup Court said the formula’s old,
And so need not be heeded–
A new one is needed:
It freed states to fair-voting withhold.
Some are doing just that with great speed,
Which proves that old formula’s need–
That it wasn’t outdated:
Bad intent’s unabated,
And there’s nothing to stop its stampede.
Tags: Constitution Verse, Judiciary Satire, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court, Voter ID, Voting Limerick, Voting Rights Act, VRA
Posted in Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Justice Department, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »
Friday, November 20th, 2009
According to Republicans, it’s way too dangerous for Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder to try terrorists in federal courts. And that seems just a wee bit odd. Because the 2002 trial of Zacarias Moussaoui, an al Qaeda terrorist often referred to as the “20th 9/11 hijacker,” was conducted in federal court on U.S. soil. And it went rather well — even Rudy Giuliani loved it!
Yet Rudy and his Republican ilk now seem terrified at the very thought of trying alleged 9/11 terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
in a New York City federal courthouse.
So, did the terrorists win between 2002 and now? Have Republicans turned yellow? Or is this simply another case of GOP hypocrisy?
Fraidy-Cat Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A terrorist trial in fed court
Under Bush met with pride and support.
No GOP sneers —
Just Republican cheers.
But a Dem do the same? Must abort!
Tags: Al Qaeda, Criminal Justice, Eric Holder, Hypocrisy, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Law Humor, Rudy Giuliani, Terrorist Trials, Zacarias Moussaoui
Posted in 9/11 Satire, Barack Obama, Crime, Gitmo Humor, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Jeff Sessions, Justice Department, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rudy Giuliani | 1 Comment »
Thursday, November 1st, 2007
George Bush has been sounding extra whiney lately. The poor guy! Those abusive Dems have been torturing him, giving him a mere 98% of what he asks for.
Here’s Bush letting off steam about the possibly-in-trouble Michael Mukasey nomination for Attorney General:
“Judge Mukasey is not being treated fairly,” the president said, after taking the extraordinary step of inviting a group of reporters into the Oval Office to vent his feelings. Sitting behind his desk and leaning back in his chair, Mr. Bush said he was concerned that some people may have “lost sight of the fact that we’re at war.”
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Ode To Our Petulant Prez
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Dems are mean to Mukasey, who’s great,”
Bitches Dub, sounding rather irate.
“Don’t they know we’re at war?
Dems are making me sore!
They must do what I want. No debate!”[tags]President Bush, Michael Mukasey Humor, Attorney General Hearings, Torture Satire, Mukasey Limerick[/tags]
Posted in George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Justice Department, Michael Mukasey, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Torture Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 22nd, 2007
Here’s how I’d sum up Attorney General nominee Mike Mukasey’s Senate Judiciary Committee testimony about torture, waterboarding, and the U.S. Constitution:
Torture: Bad
Tortured Language: Good[tags]Michael Mukasey, Attorney General Nominee, Torture & Waterboarding Satire[/tags]
Posted in Constitution Humor, Foreign Policy, GOP Humor, Justice Department, Law Satire, Michael Mukasey, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Torture Humor | Comments Off on Shorter Michael Mukasey
Thursday, April 5th, 2007
Rachel Maddow has an update on Orrin Hatch’s smear campaign against Carol Lam, the U.S. Attorney for San Diego who was recently fired by the Justice Department. Senator Hatch has now issued a just-barely-an-apology for telling the following lies about Lam this past Sunday on NBC’s Meet the Press:
She was a former law professor, no prosecutorial experience, and the former campaign manager in Southern California for Clinton.
I’ve summarized this sorry saga in a pair of limericks called Truth On The Lam:
Truth On The Lam
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Orrin Hatch hatched big lies about Lam,
Won’t admit that his claims are a sham.
She was wrongfully axed,
But he conjured up “facts”.
About truth Hatch does not give a damn.
Under pressure, Hatch issues a letter
To Tim Russert that isn’t much better
Than his televised lies.
Hatch just barely denies
That his Lam claims belong in the shredder. [tags]Carol Lam, Orrin Hatch, Senator Hatch, Tim Russert, Televised Lies, Rachel Maddow, Smear Campaign, U.S. Attorney, San Diego, Justice Department, NBC’s Meet The Press, Prosecutorial Experience[/tags]
Posted in Carol Lam, Congress Humor, Corruption Humor, Justice Department, Law Satire, Media Satire, Orrin Hatch, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, March 20th, 2007
Kudos to Josh Marshall for his ongoing great coverage of the US Attorney purge scandal, including the involvement of Alberto Gonzales, Karl Rove, and the White House, in general.
Gonzo, Begone … And Take Your Pal Bush With You!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It appears that the Bushies conspired
To ensure that some lawyers were fired,
Cause those lawyers refused
To let laws be abused.
In political crimes Bush is mired. [tags]Alberto Gonzales, Attorney General, Gonzo Gonzales, US Attorney Purge[/tags]
Posted in Corruption Humor, George Bush Satire, Justice Department, Law Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 2 Comments »
Fraidy-Cat Republicans
Friday, November 20th, 2009According to Republicans, it’s way too dangerous for Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder to try terrorists in federal courts. And that seems just a wee bit odd. Because the 2002 trial of Zacarias Moussaoui, an al Qaeda terrorist often referred to as the “20th 9/11 hijacker,” was conducted in federal court on U.S. soil. And it went rather well — even Rudy Giuliani loved it!
Yet Rudy and his Republican ilk now seem terrified at the very thought of trying alleged 9/11 terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
in a New York City federal courthouse.
So, did the terrorists win between 2002 and now? Have Republicans turned yellow? Or is this simply another case of GOP hypocrisy?
Fraidy-Cat Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A terrorist trial in fed court
Under Bush met with pride and support.
No GOP sneers —
Just Republican cheers.
But a Dem do the same? Must abort!
Tags: Al Qaeda, Criminal Justice, Eric Holder, Hypocrisy, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Law Humor, Rudy Giuliani, Terrorist Trials, Zacarias Moussaoui
Posted in 9/11 Satire, Barack Obama, Crime, Gitmo Humor, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Jeff Sessions, Justice Department, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rudy Giuliani | 1 Comment »