Posts Tagged ‘Donald Trump’

Who Ya Gonna Believe? (Limerick)

Saturday, November 11th, 2017

Russia meddled, our experts maintain;
Our Democracy’s suffered a stain.
But Donald would rather
Buy Putin’s false blather;
Trump’s owned by Vlad’s hard driving reign.

Limerick Ode To Trump’s Braggadocio

Sunday, November 5th, 2017

Says Donald, “I’ve always been great
With money.” My mem’ry’s first-rate.
My IQ’s through the roof.
What? You’re asking for proof?
I am PREZ, and you’re NOT. End debate!

Asian Fantasy (Limerick)

Sunday, November 5th, 2017

Trump’s in Asia. Here’s hoping they steep him
In food that he hates and they sleep him
Where the mattresses suck,
And then (this will take luck)
Maybe one of those nations will keep him.

Trump’s Next Move (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 31st, 2017

Is Mueller about to be canned?
Does Trump have a “massacre” planned?
Will Congress preempt
Any heinous attempt,
Leaving Donald verklempt and unmanned?

The Fog of Trump Lore (Limerick)

Monday, October 30th, 2017

Mueller’s news has the public agog,
So the White House keeps drumming up fog.
Mass confusion’s its aim;
Soon the Donald will claim
That Clinton’s been beating her dog.

Roger Stone’s Bitter About Twitter (Limerick)

Sunday, October 29th, 2017

Why did Twitter suspend Roger Stone?
He sent tweets Twitter cannot condone.
Seems it’s wrong to abuse
Those who bring us the news;
Can’t spew shit-laden threats via phone.

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New Republican Slogan:

“Alms for the Rich and Arms for ALL”

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DeVos cut 72 guidelines for disabled students.

So serving a mentally disabled president hasn’t upped her empathy 4 the disabled.

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Lewandowski: Keep focus on ‘the continued lies of the Clinton administration’

And here I thought Trump was in the Oval. Silly me!

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NBCNews Tweet: “President Trump greets members of the press’ kids in Halloween costumes: ‘I cannot believe the media produced such beautiful children'”

Some day those children will be able to proudly tell THEIR children: “When I was your age, I met the USA’s WORST president ever!”

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Trump Tweet: “It is now commonly agreed, after many months of COSTLY looking, that there was NO collusion between Russia and Trump. Was collusion with HC!”

At the start of your tweet, you seem to have left out a few key words: “In the Trump family.”

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Trump Tweet: “Wacky & totally unhinged Tom Steyer, who has been fighting me and my Make America Great Again agenda from beginning, never wins elections!”

Steyer “unhinged?” You’ve got that backwards. Steyer’s spent $10 million for a TV ad campaign advocating your impeachment because YOU’RE unhinged.

Also, unlike YOU, Steyer’s “REALLY RICH.”

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Headline: “Trump: ‘Really great advertising’ will keep kids off drugs.”

Also from Trump: “If we can teach young people not to take drugs … it’s really, really easy not to take them.”

All this from the purported non-drinker who’s driving the rest of us to drink.

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The Non-Case For Hillary’s Collusion (Limerick)

Saturday, October 28th, 2017

Hill colluded with Russia? Explain
How that makes any sense, cuz my brain
Can not fathom collusion
To cause a profusion
Of harm to her own prez campaign.

Trump’s GOP Critics (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 25th, 2017

“Republican Pols Lashing Out
At Trump.” That’s the headline they tout.
But it’s only some guys
Who’ve concluded it wise
Not to run again. Hardly a rout!

What Trump’s Done To Our Nation’s Reputation (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 17th, 2017

Headline: “Thanks to Trump, America’s word is now worthless”

The word of our nation’s now worthless
Thanks to Donald, whose decency’s birthless.
Despite sweeping appeals,
Trump’s destroyed all our deals.
(So sorry for verse that is mirthless.)

Thanks to the Washington Post’s Paul Waldman for inspiring this limerick!

Limerick Ode To Trump Suck-Ups

Tuesday, October 17th, 2017

Trump enablers and suck-ups, I trust
You’re aware that your scheme has gone bust.
Trump took YOU for a ride
And has cast you aside.
Donald’s self-lust trumps all. You’re just dust.

Envy, Thy Name Is Donald Trump (Limerick)

Sunday, October 15th, 2017

In a mind that’s severely unsound,
The dangers of envy abound;
That’s why Trump knocks and blocks
Great achievements — Barack’s,
Thereby driving us into the ground.

Limerick Ode To Our Braggart-In-Chief

Wednesday, October 11th, 2017

How sad that Trump’s sooooo insecure,
Such a braggart and bully and boor.
Some were hoping he’d grow
In the Oval, but no…
Though there’s MORE of the “man” to endure.

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Headline: “A pair of crises tests Trump’s presidential empathy”

Testing Trump’s empathy is like testing a jellyfish’s spine.

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Headline “Democrats Seek to Make Ryan a Villain”

Isn’t Ryan ALREADY a VILLAIN?

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Like Trump and his supporters, I too miss the good old days — days when somebody else (even Dubya) was occupying the Oval.

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“Trump: ‘Disgusting’ press able to write whatever it wants”

Me: Disgusting president able to say whatever he wants.

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How I long for the good old days when our policy of containment dealt with foreign enemies; NOT the threat who’s occupying the Oval!

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“Jimmy Carter offers to hold peace talks with Kim Jong Un”

How about holding peace talks with Trump/Corker or Trump/Tillerson?

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Since Trump’s so obsessed with size (Little Marco, Liddle Bob) from now on I’m calling him Tubby Trump.

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“Pence Walks Out of Game Over Anthem Protest”

Headline SHOULD Read: “Pence Wastes Taxpayers’ Dollars Staging Sham Walk-Out”

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Offended by birth control and gays? No problem!

Trump/Sessions Doctrine: Religious freedom means freedom to discriminate.

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Breaking News: “State Dept: Tillerson did not call Trump ‘moron'”

That’s factually true; he actually called him “fucking moron.”

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Headline: “Most Partisans Have Few Friends In Other Party”
Could it be all that stress from dealing with RELATIVES in other party?

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Trump’s Small-Minded Name-Calling (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 10th, 2017

“Trump Mocks Bob Corker’s Height, Escalating Feud with a Key Republican”

Childish name-calling’s Donald’s delight,
Like his small-minded mock’ry of height.
He’s a YUUUUUGE stature snob,
Which explains “Liddle Bob.”
Trump thinks nicknaming Corker shows might!

Donald and Rex (Parody Dialogue)

Wednesday, October 4th, 2017

Parody Dialogue (I’m almost positive it never took place.)

TRUMP: You’re to hold an immediate press conference and announce that you NEVER called me a “moron.”

TILLERSON: “Never’s” a strong word.

TRUMP: And that of all 50 U.S. presidents, I’m the smartest.

TILLERSON: We’ve been through this before, sir: 50 states. 45 presidents. That’s why we call you “45.”

TRUMP: I know that!

TILLERSON: Anything else sir? Perhaps I should say you have a 180 IQ.

TRUMP: Good idea, but make it 200.

TILLERSON: I was being sarc…

TRUMP: In fact, make it an even 225.

TRUMP: (Turning to General Kelly) You see? Now THAT’S how you negotiate!

A Trumpian Perspective (Limerick)

Saturday, September 30th, 2017

Unsupportive opinions? Flake views!
Unflattering numbers? A ruse!
No matter the topic,
The Donald’s myopic;
If it isn’t pro-Trump, it’s “Fake News!”

Puerto Ricans Are Citizens Too (Limerick)

Thursday, September 28th, 2017

Puerto Ricans are citizens too.
Yet their suff’ring’s ignored. What to do?
Send donations and grouse;
Inform Trump, Senate, House
Their help’s WAY overdue. Please come through!

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Trump on delivering aid to Puerto Rico: “This is an island sitting in the middle of an ocean. It’s a big ocean, it’s a very big ocean.”

Wow! I had NO idea!

What Happened? I’ll Tell You What Happened! (Limerick)

Thursday, September 14th, 2017

You don’t wish to read Hillary’s book?
That’s just fine, but don’t ask us to brook
All your bitching and moaning,
Begrudging and groaning;
It is YOU who gave US Trump the Crook!

Dear Donald: Golf All The Time! Please! (Limerick)

Sunday, August 27th, 2017

Donald’s lengthy vacations are fine!
Let him golf ev’ry day — I won’t whine.
When Trump works, he does harm,
Raising fear and alarm;
Full-time frolicking’s far more benign.

Limerick Ode To Rachel Maddow

Wednesday, June 7th, 2017

Dear Rachel, you’re back, and we hail
Your return, though you’re still looking pale.
Life without you is cursed,
But your health must come first,
As you help put the Donald in jail.

Voter’s Remorse? (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 6th, 2017

“Are you suff’ring from voter’s remorse?”
That query arises, perforce.
But I’ve yet to hear “yes”
In response, I confess.
Does it cause that much stress to change course?