Posts Tagged ‘Donald Trump’

Say It’s Not So, Joe! (Limerick)

Thursday, May 18th, 2017

Joe Lieberman? FBI head?
Please tell me this rumor is dead.
Law enforcement skills? None!
Built-in conflicts? A ton!
Might as well name dear Jared, instead.

Our “Woe Is Me” President (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 17th, 2017

The Donald pretends to be gritty,
But instead he is filled with self-pity.
“I’m the worst-treated pol
In his’try,” he’ll bawl.
Trump’s dignity (bitty) ain’t pretty.

On The Other (Very Tiny) Hand (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 17th, 2017

At the risk of appearing too dense,
I must ask if it makes any sense
To impeach Donald Trump,
If success means we’d jump
To a Theocrat President Pence.

Trump’s Keen Mastery Of Economics (Limerick)

Thursday, May 11th, 2017

Keeping a straight face when you interview Trump must be tough … especially for The Economist team; Trump told them he “came up with” the phrase “prime the pump,” and wanted to know if they’d heard it before and understood what it meant.

There once was a wordsmith named Trump,
Who claimed to have coined “prime the pump,”
A phrase that pre-dates
Donald’s birth. Sorry mates,
But his brain remains lodged in his rump.

Comey’s Former Subordinates NOT Happy (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 10th, 2017

Many FBI agents are pissed
Cuz their boss Mr. Comey’s been dissed;
Donald dumped the man rudely
Not shrewdly, but crudely…
Via pretext that’s eas’ly dismissed.

What Ever Happened To Sessions’ Recusal? (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 10th, 2017

A serious, honest perusal
Of the pledge Sessions made of recusal
Shows him wrong to assist
Getting Comey dismissed.
Recusal required refusal.

Trump, The Nixonian (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 9th, 2017

Seems Donald was getting morose
Cuz Comey was getting too “close.”
So Trump’s crew took their cues
And concocted a ruse
To dismiss him. A Cover-up Gross!

Trump Exercises His Right Not To Exercise (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 9th, 2017

A headline like this one demands a limerick: “Donald Trump thinks exercise will kill you.”

Will exercise kill you? The guy
In the Oval believes it. That’s why
Donald looks like he looks.
(I’d been blaming his cooks.)
This explains why to VEEP Pence said “AYE!”

The Price Of Defiance (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017

The Donald keeps shattering norms;
Routine standards? He rarely conforms.
Though it got him the win,
His defiant thin skin
Breeds snafus, chaos, loss, and tweet storms.

The President Who Cried “Country Needs A Good ‘Shutdown'” (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017

What happens when your own party concludes you’re an untrustworthy negotiating partner? They make a deal with the Dems, and leave you out of the process.

That’s precisely what happened with the budget, and Trump’s been tweeting his unhappiness: “Our country needs a good ‘shutdown’ in September to fix mess.”

A government shutdown is needed,
Tweets Donald, who’s feeling defeated;
The untrustworthy heel
Was left out of the deal
By his party — reality heeded.

The “Ridiculous Standard” Trump Once Loved (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 25th, 2017

CNBC Headline: “Trump calls first 100 days a ‘ridiculous standard’ — even though he set it as a standard.”

Remember when Donald embraced
The 1st HUNDRED Days standard? He based
His campaign on a list
Of such goals, mostly missed.
Having failed, he’d declare it erased.

What Bill O’Reilly Did Wrong, According To Trump (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 5th, 2017

The Harasser-in-Chief’s made his call:
Bill was wrong to make payments at all
To the gals he harassed.
Seems Trump is aghast;
His Compadre-in-Lust took the fall.

Trump and El-Sisi — Authoritarian Brotherhood? (Limerick)

Monday, April 3rd, 2017

Bradd Jaffy (NBC News) on Twitter: “After no handshake with Merkel, President Trump brushes aside human rights concerns for not one but two handshakes with Egypt’s leader el-Sisi.”

Please recall when the Donald refused
To shake hands with Ms. Merkel. He oozed
Deep disdain. Then compare
Donald’s welcoming air;
Vile el-Sisi makes Trump all enthused.

Outrage-Fatigue (Limerick)

Sunday, April 2nd, 2017

I feel outrage-fatigue setting in,
For I’m sick of contending with spin
And disposing of lies,
While the man I despise
Smirks and drowns us in swamp-filled chagrin.

Trump’s Empty Threats (Limerick)

Thursday, March 30th, 2017

This tweet from Alex Burns (New York Times & CNN) inspired a limerick. How? It made me realize that Trump’s anti-Freedom Caucus rants may actually help its members:

“Please, sir, don’t massively elevate us as the scourge of the mainline Republican Party.” Does anyone hear the Freedom Caucus saying this?

While it’s true that Trump clearly outranks
The Republican wingnuts, he tanks
When he threatens the Caucus
Called “Freedom.” His raucous
Attacks might just make them say, “Thanks!”

Trump’s Russian-Probe Freak-Out (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 28th, 2017

The Donald’s been tweeting up a storm over the probe of Trump’s Russia connections.

“Any claims about Russia and me
Are a hoax” — Donald’s latest tweet-spree.
“It’s Hill you should probe!”
Was he wearing a robe
When he threw up this Twitter debris?

Is Trump Plastered?

Tuesday, March 28th, 2017

Trump claims that he never drinks alcohol. But proposing to spend one billion dollars on 62 miles of wall is surely proof he’s plastered:

This ludicrous price won’t draw smiles:
One billion for sixty-two miles
Of Trump’s Mexican wall?
Yes that’s dollars! Stand tall:
Not one dime for his worthless shit piles.

“Repeal & Replace,” A 4-Verse Limerick Saga

Friday, March 24th, 2017

Our government once was divided,
A condition Republicans chided.
They would gripe and they’d grouse:
“Ruling Senate and House
Ain’t enough. Give us power three-sided.”

Then it happened — their guy beat our dame!
Now with White House control they’re aflame
To alter our laws
By inserting new flaws
Right away — helping rich folks, their aim.

They began with “repeal and replace,”
An action they vowed they would ace;
First they’d get full control,
Then they’d easily roll
All the Dems — this they promised their base.

But the bill that was key to their game
Has been pulled to the GOP’s shame.
Who’s at fault? No, not Trump,
Nor Paul Ryan. The Grump
Claims the powerless Dems are to blame.

Why Trump Lies (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 21st, 2017

Self-aggrandizing lies are the norm
From the Donald; each falsehood-filled storm
Sows confusion and doubt,
Which he can’t do without.
How to shore up support? Disinform!

Pete Sessions’ Bad Session (Limerick)

Monday, March 20th, 2017

Texas Republican Pete Sessions doesn’t seem all that good at handling a crowd of angry constituents. At a rowdy town hall, he responded with this gem:

I know why you’re so frustrated: You don’t know how to listen.

Pete Sessions’ town hall was immersed
In constituent wrath, so he burst:
“You don’t know how to listen!”
(Flop sweat all a-glisten.)
It seems Pete has things slightly reversed.