Archive for the ‘Political Verse’ Category

Open Limerick To Chris Christie

Tuesday, June 30th, 2015

Open Limerick To Chris Christie
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Christie, you claim that you’re running.
If you are, then your chutzpah is stunning,
Cuz you surely know well
That you’ve no chance in hell.
Cunning prank perhaps? ’Fess up: You’re funning!

GOP Campaign Slogans

Wednesday, June 24th, 2015

jindal-christie

I’m NOT Amused, Ted Cruz (Limerick)

Monday, June 22nd, 2015

I’m NOT Amused, Ted Cruz (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

We can always depend on Ted Cruz
To be tacky in voicing his views;
He tells gun control jokes
After massacres, folks,
Crudely preying on death to “amuse.”

Sen. Ted Cruz apparently finds mass murder amusing. Here’s just one of his campaign jokes uttered just two days after the Charleston church massacre:

“You know the great thing about the state of Iowa is, I’m pretty sure you all define gun control the same way we do in Texas — hitting what you aim at.”

Conservatives Race To Alter Race-Crime Reality (Limerick)

Friday, June 19th, 2015

Conservatives Race To Alter Race-Crime Reality
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When a racist whose head’s out of whack
Kills nine churchgoers just cuz they’re black,
Wingnuts lay it on thick
With a claim that’s just sick:
“Christian freedom is under attack.”

Right-wing culprits in this outrageous distortion of the Charleston church massacre include Rick Santorum, Jeb Bush, Lindsey Graham, and sundry Fox News hosts.

Limerick Ode To AG Loretta Lynch

Thursday, June 18th, 2015

Yesterday was a big day for Loretta Lynch. She was formally sworn in as U.S. Attorney General … and she joined Twitter.

So after two back-to-back Donald Trump limericks, I felt the need for some cleansing with this limerick:

To Loretta Lynch, welcome! It’s clear
From your singular, brilliant career
That you’re tough and yet fair;
About justice you care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!

I even posted it on Twitter yesterday, a couple of hours after she joined. Of course I had to alter it a bit, due to Twitter’s annoying 140 character limit. Here’s how it appeared on my Twitter feed:

2 @LorettaLynch wlcm! I cheer
Ur singular brilliant career.
Ur tough & yet fair.
Re justice u care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!

Trumped Up Candidate (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 17th, 2015

Trumped Up Candidate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Says Trump, “I shall build a great wall.
I’m the greatest wall-builder of all!
I’ll make Mexico pay
To construct it — Olé!”
There’s no tale that’s too tall for Trump’s gall.

Don’t Fall For Trump’s Trompe-L’œil

Tuesday, June 16th, 2015

Don’t Fall For Trump’s Trompe-L’œil
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Trump, you’ve announced that you’ll run.
But I know it’s a stunt, and you’ll shun
That financial report.
When it’s due, you’ll abort…
After relishing limelight-filled fun.

NOTE: A presidential candidate can, in theory, “run” for four months without filing his personal financial disclosure with the FEC … and then abandon the campaign. And I’m betting Trump will do exactly that.

Why? Cuz Trump can BS all he wants to on his two-page unsworn-to summary of assets. But the actual legal filing has to be accurate. And I’m guessing that an accurate filing wouldn’t be nearly as impressive as Trump’s “asset summary.”

The Washington Post explains the personal financial reporting requirements for a presidential candidate:

…under a 1978 federal ethics law, presidential candidates must file a personal financial disclosure with the FEC within 30 days after announcing their candidacies. (They can request two 45-day extensions.) The filing must detail their financial interests and income, as well as those of their spouses and dependent children.

No More Grasping At Straws (Limerick)

Friday, June 12th, 2015

The Iowa GOP Board
Found its straw poll was being ignored
And disdained — even mocked.
So I sure wasn’t shocked
By its vote to at last cut the cord.

An Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Saturday, June 6th, 2015

An Open Limerick To Donald Trump
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Donald, I’m begging you: Run!
Join the “clown car” and add to the fun.
A debate with your mouth
Is sure to go south.
Is there anyone nuttier? None!

Jeb Bush’s “Non-Campaign” Con

Thursday, June 4th, 2015

Jeb Bush’s “Non-Campaign” Con
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Why are so many newscasts ignoring
Bush’s lie when he claims he’s exploring
A possible race?
It’s clearly the case
That on FEC regs Jeb is warring.

Jeb’s been stretching the Super PAC rules
And playing the public for fools.
He coordinates madly,
Treats fed’ral law badly,
And laughs as the press acts like tools.

(You can read about Jeb’s “stretching the limits of election law” here and the lack of broadcast evening news coverage here.

Making Discrimination ExPENCive (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

I’m pleased that business clout and boycott threats are causing Indiana’s Gov. Pence and the state legislature to revisit Indiana’s “religious freedom” law.

But wouldn’t it be nice if corporations had a similar response to other forms of discrimination? Laws that make it harder for women to get birth control or have an abortion, to name just two.

Making Discrimination ExPENCive (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Seems a lesson’s been learned by Gov. Pence:
Biased laws can cost dollars and cents.
Biz will fight for gay rights.
Now it’s time for some fights
Against anti-gal laws to commence.

Open Limerick To Louie Gohmert

Friday, March 27th, 2015

Alas, it seems Louie Gohmert was just kidding the other day when he mentioned possibly running for president. Damn!

Open Limerick To Louie Gohmert
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Louie Gohmert, I’m begging you, run.
Your voice in the race would be fun!
Next to you, Trump and Ted
Seem nigh “right in the head.”
Then again, where’d we be if you won?

Open Limerick To Lindsey Graham

Wednesday, March 25th, 2015

You’re just not gonna believe who’s to blame for GOP inaction on climate change.

According to Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), it’s Al Gore’s fault.

Here’s Graham: “the problem is Al Gore’s turned this thing into religion. You know, climate change is not a religious problem for me, it’s an economic, it is an environmental problem.”

Open Limerick To Lindsey Graham
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Lindsey, you’re loony — full-bore;
Only nuts would lay blame on Al Gore
For the GOP’s ’tude
About climate change, dude.
Who’s at fault? It’s your Dem-hating corps.

Open Limerick To Ted Cruz

Monday, March 23rd, 2015

Open Limerick To Ted Cruz
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My muse and I thank you, Ted Cruz.
We’re enthused by your news. No more blues!
I’m infused with elation.
You’re bruising our nation,
But your run means we rhymers can’t lose.

Political Tidbits

Saturday, March 21st, 2015

Glenn Beck just announced that he’s quitting the Republican Party.

It seems the GOP isn’t quite crazy enough for him.

*****

To prove he really means it this time, Donald Trump is forming a presidential exploratory committee.

Some circuses just can’t have too many rings.

*****

Dear Rand Paul, I don’t live in Kentucky,
And I think that you’re far worse than yucky.
Why’s your newsletter clogging
My email and dogging
My bandwidth with viewpoints so sucky?

*****

Facts can be pesky
and undermine views.
But the right just discards them
like old, worn out shoes.

*****

In a Playboy interview, Dick Cheney said Obama is “the worst president of my lifetime”.

I could have sworn that title belonged to Cheney.

*****

Why don’t I call
the GOP pols heartless?
I hate redundancy.

*****

Re Matt McLaughlin’s gays-killing CA ballot initiative, doesn’t his “Sodomite Suppression Act” deserve a “Matt McLaughlin Suppression Act?”

*****
Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young suggested letting wolves loose to cure the homeless problem.

What a foxy way to angle for a job at Fox News!

*****

The duped marks wallow
in hollow crap they swallow
from pols they follow.

*****

Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza has denounced Hillary Clinton’s “lawlessness.”

But I think D’Souza is just lonely serving time for violating campaign finance laws.

*****

Sudden clarity
of thought and reason in pols–
Can’t a gal dream?

*****

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has signed a “Right-to-Work” law, a/k/a the “Right to Destroy Unions by Reaping Benefits Without Paying Dues” law.

******

GOP hucksters
hock our nation’s future
to gain/maintain power.

*****

Minimum Wage Wars (Limerick)

Thursday, March 19th, 2015

The Republican presidential contender position re federal minimum wage ranges from abolition (Rick Perry and Marco Rubio) to keeping it frozen at $7.25 forever (Jeb Bush’s clarified position, according to the AP.)

Minimum Wage Wars
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Shall we raise the fed minimum wage?
Just the thought makes Republicans rage.
Then there’s Rubio and Perry
Who’d love to make merry
By scrapping that federal gauge.

Santorum’s Stupidity of Biblical Proportions (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 18th, 2015

For a lawyer, Rick Santorum seems clueless about the U.S. Constitution.

Rick Santorum proclaims, “Yes we can,”
Force his bible on schools — that’s his plan.
Rick forgets the Supremes
8 to 1 banned such schemes…
Else the gov could impose the Koran.

The Republican’s Open Limerick To Iran

Monday, March 9th, 2015

Forty-seven Republican Senators have done something both appalling and unprecedented: They communicated directly with Iran in order to undermine Obama’s nuclear arms negotiations.

Now it’s one thing to try to convince Obama that Iran can’t be trusted to comply with a nuclear arms deal, or to try to impede an arms deal legislatively. But it’s quite another to essentially tell Iran not to bother complying because Obama deals aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

And the latter is precisely what they did. Here’s their open written message to Iran’s leaders, translated into a limerick:

Dear Iranian leaders, Obama
Might make you a nuke deal with drama.
But don’t bother to heed it.
We plan to defeat it.
So it’s worthless — each, word, clause, and comma.

Why Republicans Embolden Our Enemies (Limerick)

Monday, February 23rd, 2015

Why Republicans Embolden Our Enemies (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A government shutdown sounds sordid,
And I’m hoping it’s somehow aborted.
But the House GOP
Views the dangers with glee;
They assume they’ll again be rewarded.

Leadership? (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 11th, 2015

Leadership? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The words of most pols seem so hollow.
They say little I’m able to swallow.
All those lines that they feed us
While trying to lead us
Persuade me it’s best not to follow.