Archive for May, 2018

The Worst Excuse Yet For Gun Violence (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 29th, 2018

Headline: “GOP Lawmaker Blames Porn for School Shootings”

What’s to blame for school shootings? It’s “porn.”
So says Tennessee’s Black, with much scorn
For the Dems who’d curb guns.
Lame excuse? Rs have tons;
GOP — where insanity’s born.

Roseanne Reboot Booted (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 29th, 2018

Roseanne’s tweets are a vile, putrid sump,
So her network has opted to dump
The reboot. She’s expelled
And ironically held
To a much higher standard than Trump.

Our Petulant President (Limerick)

Sunday, May 27th, 2018

Trump dishonors the war dead via Memorial Day Weekend tweets:

On Twitter, Trump’s plaintive today.
To prepare for tomorrow? No way!
It’s not war dead he mourns,
But a “witch hunt” he scorns —
Selfish, petulant Trump on display!

Trump Chickens Out Of Summit (Limerick)

Thursday, May 24th, 2018

The summit with Kim is a fail
Cuz The Donald’s decided to bail.
Yes the meeting’s been tossed,
But not all has been lost;
The Commem’rative Coin’s still for sale.

Rudy’s Creative Lawyering (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2018

Headline: “Rudy: Trump Might Commit Perjury Because ‘Truth Is Relative’”

If anyone calls you a liar
And asserts that your pants are on fire,
Quote Rudy and say:
“Truth us relative.” Hey,
That’s the Donald’s defense. Take a flyer!

Blockhead Donald’s Failed Blockade (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2018

Headline: “Trump can’t block users on Twitter, federal judge rules”

Poor Trump! How he hates to be mocked
By mean tweets! So he angrily blocked
The accounts of those writers,
Who sued cuz they’re fighters,
And won. Snowflake Donald is focked.

Guns Don’t Kill People; Doors Kill People (Limerick)

Sunday, May 20th, 2018

Headline: “Texas shooting renews debate about American school design”

The gun-loving NRA faction
Creatively thwarts gun-law action.
Students down on all fours
Dodging death? It blames doors:
Prevent murder by entrance contraction.

Women’s Health News To Make You Gag (Limerick)

Friday, May 18th, 2018

Headline: “New Trump Administration Rule Will Force Doctors to Stop Saying “Abortion””

Planned Parenthood hit once again
Via “gag rule?” Seems Trump has a yen
To use power and wealth
To impair women’s health.
Gals could die from the stroke of his pen.

Hey Donald, I Hear The Nobel Peace Prize Tastes Almost As Good As A Steak! (Limerick)

Thursday, May 17th, 2018

Headline: “Trump’s Nobel Prize talk may have been a bit hasty, North Korea makes clear”

Has Trump been outsmarted by Kim?
Or out-crazied? Out-acted-on-whim?
Donald NEEDS that Nobel.
He’s in hell! What’s that smell?
Desperation, as deal odds grow dim.

Trump Trumped By Leaks (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 15th, 2018

Trump Tweet: “The so-called leaks coming out of the White House are a massive over exaggeration put out by the Fake News Media in order to make us look as bad as possible. With that being said, leakers are traitors and cowards, and we will find out who they are!”

Though he frequently rails about leaks,
When he ran Trump aired NO such critiques;
Once a WikiLeaks fan,
Now an anti-leak man.
He’s the target? Trump bellows and shrieks.

Michael Cohen — One Shell Of A Lawyer (Limerick)

Thursday, May 10th, 2018

Matthew Miller: “Two days later, I still can’t get over how stupid Michael Cohen was using the same LLC he set up for porn star hush money to run his new consulting business.”

Michael Cohen –incompetent sleaze–
Doesn’t know how to use LLCs;
Merging hush money flow
With consulting firm dough?
It’s no wonder Feds caught him with ease!

Rudy Fired, But NOT By Trump (Limerick)

Thursday, May 10th, 2018

Headline: “Giuliani Forced to Resign from His Law Firm”

Rudy’s law firm pays hush money too?
So said Rudy, a statement he’ll rue,
Cuz his law firm has dumped him;
They’re angry he lumped ’em
With Coh’n in a Trump-defense spew.

Open Limerick To Orrin Hatch

Monday, May 7th, 2018

Headline: “Hatch says it’s ‘ridiculous’ for McCain to block Trump from funeral”

Dear Senator Hatch, if McCain
Wants his funeral Trump-free, refrain
From poking your nose
In what the man chose.
It is hardly your place to complain.

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Sunday, May 6th, 2018

Dear Trump, Rudy’s “help” you don’t need.
I don’t know why you ever agreed
To let the guy rep you.
At best he will schelp you
To prison with mind-blowing speed.

A Limerick Ode To GOP Hypocrisy

Saturday, May 5th, 2018

Just imagine the sturm and the drama,
If a Dem such as Ex-Prez Obama
Retained someone to fix
All his problems with chicks.
How the GOP’d feast on such trauma!

But with Donald, who cares? No big deal!
From supporters there’s hardly a squeal.
Sleaze and lies do not matter;
No Trump-crime can shatter
Their faith, for the Donald’s THEIR heel.

What The Donald Needs, What He Really, Really Needs

Saturday, May 5th, 2018

It’s a shame that the Donald’s so needy;
Craving praise, he is compliment-greedy.
Staff and Secys must Suck-up.
They don’t? It’s a Fuck-up.
Kiss his ass, or depart? Yes, indeedy!

Open Limerick To White House Press

Thursday, May 3rd, 2018

Jennifer Rubin: “I honestly see no reason for the daily press conference. If she lies it is pointless.”

Dear journos, explain: Why attend
Sanders’ pressers? She lies without end.
There is naught to be gained
From “info” that’s feigned.
Do your homework, make calls, phone a friend.

Limerick Ode To Michael Cohen

Thursday, May 3rd, 2018

Michael Cohen is mainly a bagman,
A whitewash-each-Donald-Trump-shag-man,
To shield Donald from blame
And protect his “good name.”
That assignment’s encountered a snag, man.

Trump’s Been Branded (Limerick)

Thursday, May 3rd, 2018

Headline: “Judge rules New York condo board may remove ‘Trump’ name”

Trump’s name on your building? Egad!
Once a status sign; now it’s just bad.
Folks who’ve sued for removal
Have gotten approval.
His brand’s an embarrassment. Sad!

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Tuesday, May 1st, 2018

My advice for the Donald: “Forego
Mueller’s questions. Don’t go toe-to-toe.
Cuz deceit is on tap
When your sneering lips flap.
You will lie while you’re saying hello.”