Archive for May, 2007

Bloody Hell, It’ll Be Bloody!

Friday, May 25th, 2007

That great seer, soothsayer, and visionary George Bush  predicted Thursday that August may be a bloody month in Iraq:

Bloody Hell, It’ll Be Bloody! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
 
“In August the war may get bloody,”
Says George Bush. What a really quick study!
As the death toll keeps soaring,
On truth, Bush keeps warring.
Is he evil, or simply quite nutty? [tags]Iraq War Satire, George Bush Humor, Blood August, Bush predictions, Iraq Death Toll, Bush The Visionary[/tags]

If This Is True, My Head May Explode (Updated)

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007

Everybody’s reporting that the Democrats have dropped withdrawal dates from the Iraq war funding bill.  If this is really true, Rachel Maddow says she’ll go insane, and so will I:

Democrats, Heal Thy Selves! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Dems disappoint once again,
Caving in to Dub’s warmong’ring yen.
Timeline’s gone from the bill.
Checks on Bush?  Nothing! Nil!
Bush says, “Heel!” and the Dems reply, “When?”

UPDATE: If you’re mad at Congress too, you can  Take the Iraq Vote Pledge here, and it will be sent to your representatives. It reads:

I pledge to vote against every Senator and Representative who approves funding to continue the disastrous Iraq War.

We have already given far too much of our blood and treasure – and killed far too many Iraqis – for a war based on lies. We are now occupying a hostile nation divided by civil war for the benefit of military contractors and Big Oil.

The only way to support our troops is to bring them home NOW, and no funds should be used for any other purpose. If Congress fails to bring our troops home, I will do everything I can – and urge everyone I know – to defeat pro-war Senators and Representatives, both in my party’s primary elections and in the November general election.

[tags]Iraq War Spending Bill, Iraq Timeline, Withdrawal Dates, Democrats, Warmongering, Rachel Maddow, President Bush[/tags]

He’s Staying! So, There! (Updated With Skippy Contest Info)

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007

No, I’m not  talking about Alberto Gonzales, although Gonzo seems to be staying too –  so far, at least.   I’m referring to yet another Bush administration miscreant:  the ethically challenged World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz and Bush’s stubborn insistence on keeping Wolfowitz on the job:

He’s staying!  So, there! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Will Wolfowitz finally go?
“Not a firing offense,” argues Snow.
At the World Bank, he’ll stay.
Cave to pressure?  No way!
He’s our guy!  We’re in charge!  It’s our show!

UPDATE: My good pal Skippy is having a fun contest!  Having heard about the Clinton campaign’s efforts to get the public to help choose an official campaign song, Skippy decided to provide some Skippy-style assistance.  [tags]Paul Wolfowitz Satire, World Bank President, Tony Snow, Bush Loyalty Satire, Bush Stubbornness, Ethics Violations[/tags]

Bush Speaks Loudly And Carries A Small Stick

Monday, May 14th, 2007

What important business did President Bush conduct this weekend? He waved a small stick  –  a conductor’s baton — while pretending to conduct a symphony orchestra:

JoAnn Falletta was doing what a conductor should — concentrating on the orchestra in front of her. No wonder it took her a few seconds on Sunday to realize someone behind her was motioning for a try.   

“Smiling at me kind of devilishly,” Falletta said.

She gave him her baton and stepped aside.

Gesturing exuberantly, the president led the orchestra during part of its performance of “Stars and Stripes Forever.”

The article goes on to quote Falletta as saying Bush knew the score and conducted with “panache.”

Gimme a break! Marches like this Sousa perennial barely need a conductor — just somebody to signal the piece’s beginning and end.  

On the other hand, Bush’s conducting had to be better than his dancing.

Full disclosure: I played oboe under JoAnn Falletta’s baton many years ago, when she was assistant conductor of the Nassau Symphony Orchestra in Long Island, New York, and I was its principal oboist.

=========

And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Monica Goodling’s ‘Church Chats’ With DOJ Applicants
* Bill Maher’s New Rules
* people’s 50 sexiest candidates
* Gonzo-a-Go-Go
* Iraqi Parliament Sets Timetable For Withdrawal … For Themselves!
* Air America’s Champaign Flight Crashes
* Worldwide Opinions
* Carnival of Commentary
* Carnival of Principled Government (in the form of a fun quiz)

UPDATE: My latest limerick contest is over and the winners list and winning entries are here. Another limerick writing contest will be coming soon on my other blog. [tags]Bush Conducts, JoAnn Falletta, Stars And Stripes Forever, Bush Conducting Orchestra, Conductor’s Baton, Bush Dancing, Nassau Symphony Orchestra, Long Island, New York, Symphony Music, principal oboist[/tags]

Ode To The Lame GOP Gang Of Eleven (Updated)

Friday, May 11th, 2007

Please forgive me for not being all that impressed with the Republican Gang of Eleven, who supposedly hammered  George Bush about Iraq and had  the “most unvarnished conversation they’ve ever had with the president.”  And Tim Russert’s breathless reports about this so-called  “defining pivotal moment” in the Iraq debate (and his media echo chamber) merely enable these eleven endangered Republicans to dupe their constituents into believing that they’re finally doing something about the war in Iraq. 

All eleven voted with the President on the Iraq war spending bill and the redeployment bill that came before Congress this week. So woopdidoo!  And a limerick too:

Ode To the Lame GOP Gang Of Eleven
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Eleven Republicans bray:
“We told Dubya what’s what — had our say.
We critiqued Bush’s war
And we gave him what-for.”
Then they all vote the President’s way.  [tags]Iraq War, President Bush, Republicans Humor, Media Echo Chamber, Unvarnished Conversation, Defining Pivotal Moment, Gang Of Eleven, GOP, Tim Russert[/tags]

Keith Olbermann Wins AAN’s 1st Molly Ivins Award

Wednesday, May 9th, 2007

The Association of Alternative Newsweeklies (AAN) has announced  the finalists in this year’s AltWeekly Awards.  (No, I’m not one of the finalists, but I’m proud to say that I was one of the judges … in the political columnist category.)

The AAN has also announced that MSNBC news anchor Keith Olbermann is the winner of its first annual Molly Ivins Award. In accepting the honor, Olbermann said, “I’m utterly honored, largely because I’d still like to be Molly Ivins when I grow up.”

Congratulations to all the finalists and to the wonderful Keith Olbermann.  What a great choice!  I’m betting that the late, great Molly Ivins would approve.

 =========

And now some links, for your (and viewing) pleasure:
* Carnival of the Liberals
* Worldwide Opinions
* Carnival Of Commentary
* Carnival of the Vanities [tags]Association of Alternative Newsweeklies, AAN, Keith Olbermann, Molly Ivins[/tags]

The Commander Guy Uncensored

Friday, May 4th, 2007

George Dubya, our swaggering action-figure president, has dubbed himself “The Commander Guy.”  Okay, that’s absurd enough.  But here’s the part you may have missed:

I’m Dub, The Commander Guy.
Don’t care if a zillion die.
I’ll do what I please,
Cuz I own all the keys
To the White House.
And that’s no lie!

(Sorry — just one verse of this Popeye The Sailor Man spoof, cause I already did one full-length Bush/Popeye song parody early in Bush’s presidency.) [tags]George Bush Humor, Popeye The Sailor Man, The Commander Guy, Action Figure President[/tags]

Bush’s Iraq Strategy: Here … Catch!

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007

President Codpiece celebrated “Mission Accomplished” day by vetoing the Iraq war spending bill.  Why turn down money he’s just dying to get his grubby hands on? Cause those mean Dems are trying to make him end the war some time during his Presidency. And that just ain’t gonna happen.

No way will George W. Bush clean up his own mess!  He’s never done it before, so why start now?  Bush has always used the here … catch approach to life, kicking the can down the road and sticking somebody else with problems he created.

Bush’s Iraq Strategy: Here … Catch!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Kick the can down the road—that’s the plan:
Stick the war mess on some other man.
Wreak much havoc abroad
And at home. Oh my Gawd!
Then say, “Catch! Fix Iraq and Iran.”

=========

And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* Hillary’s Missed Opportunity To Obtain A ‘Stranglehold’ On The Nomination
*
Latest Carnival of Satire
* Carnival of the Feminists
* Caption Contest Day at the Mattress Police
* Carnival of the Vanities
* Carnival of Family Life
* Carnival of the Storytellers
* Writerly Types Carnival
* Carnival of Satire
* Carnival of Conflict
* Carnival of the Insanities
* Carnival on Observations of Life
* Best of Me Symphony
* This Is Not My Country
* Worldwide Opinions 

UPDATE: How could I forget to mention this? I’m running another limerick contest on my other blog. The theme is mothers and there are cash prizes for the two best limericks! [tags]The Global War On Terror Supplemental, Iraq War, George W. Bush  Satire, Iraq Humor, Iran Humor, President Codpiece, Mission Accomplished, War Spending Bill[/tags]