Madeleine Begun Kane, Humor Columnist Latest Humor Columns
Message Board

Madeleine Begun Kane,
Humor Columnist,

Madeleine Begun Kane

Bob Newhart Names Madeleine Begun Kane Winner of Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor


I'm a musician (oboist) turned lawyer turned humor writer and I sometimes write song parodies & other music related humor. At last, my undergrad degree in music is coming in handy! I hope you'll enjoy all the music humor columns, limericks, and light verse by Madeleine Begun Kane.

  • Macaronic Limerick
    "If you fiddle around while I speak,
    Then I’ll trumpet your lousy technique. ..."

  • Mucked Up Music
    "Just what is a person to do
    When creative ideas are few? ..."

  • Trying Your Hand At Limericks
    "A baker was trying his hand
    At launching a rock and roll band. ..."

  • Dear Conductor
    "Dear conductor, you think you’re elite,
    But in substance, you’re always off beat ..."

  • Limerick Ode To Donna Summer
    "Alas we have lost Donna Summer
    And her beautiful voice. What a bummer ..."

  • The Buglers
    "Bells up in the air, buglers blare,
    Raising rackets most ears can not bear ..."

  • Tone Deaf Limerick
    "A woman who crooned out of key
    Did it loudly with pleasure and glee. ..."

  • Last-String Limerick
    "That conductor has strung me along,”
    Said a cellist. “He’s doing me wrong. ..."

  • Birthday Limerick For Franz Liszt
    "The pianist/composer named Liszt
    Was as hot as the cancan and twist: ..."

  • Taking Stock Limerick
    "A man thought it time to take stock
    Of his life in the world of hard rock ..."

  • Brassy Limerick
    "A brassy old woman named Joan
    Loves the trumpet, but hates the trombone. ..."

  • Mad About LOVE "So here’s my love limerick to the Beatles-inspired Cirque du Soleil show LOVE. ..."

  • Operatic Limerick
    "An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Auditioned to sing at the Met. ..."

  • Limerick Ode To Cher
    "The singer and actress named Cher
    Looks amazingly good nearly bare. ..."

  • American Idol’s Problem … Crystallized "Another American Idol season has come to a close and, once again, the wrong contestant won. Yes, the nervous guy, Lee DeWyze is the new American Idol, besting beating out the far superior singer, Crystal Bowersox. ..."

  • Pompous Limerick
    "A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Was worshipped by fans far and wide. ..."

  • Musical Chairs
    "A symphony cellist named Kate
    Shares her stand with a man, once her mate. ..."

  • Musical Accord "One afternoon your ten-year old daughter comes home from school, enthused about learning to play an instrument. Your eyeballs start to throb. Your head begins to pulsate. You ask yourself whether tin ears are passed down from parents to their children..."

  • Birthday Limerick For Elton John

  • Simon, Say It Ain’t So! (Limerick)"“Insult judge” Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol at the end of this season. How will I ever survive? ..."

  • We Don’t Think We Can Dance, But We Do It Anyway
    "My husband and I like to dance.
    Are we good? Oh no way — not a chance. ..."

  • Guide For The Opera Impaired "There will inevitably come a day when some misanthrope, posing as a pal, drags you to The Opera. Don't panic ... unless Richard Wagner composed the opera, in which case playing dead will help you match the mood of the music..."

  • A Robot Violinist That Plays Better Than Your Kid? (Double Limerick) “I’ve heard some bad violinists in my day … especially back when I substitute-taught elementary school music classes. But amazingly enough, this robot violinist (while lousy, of course) is better than your average fifth grade violin student. ...”

  • Not An American Idol
    "There once was a woman named June
    Whose singing was way out of tune. ..."

  • Bach! Humbug! "It’s time for some silly classical music punning. ..."

  • Musical Discord
    "'Your playing is way out of tune,'
    The conductor informed the bassoon. ..."

  • Liz Cheney's Song (Song Parody to Maria)
    "Liz Cheney.
    You just can’t avoid Lizzie Cheney.
    The former Veep’s to blame.
    Their surnames are the same, you see. ...”

  • An Ode To The American Idol Finalists (Limerick) "Since American Idol is one of the few TV shows I watch regularly, I’d be remiss if I didn’t comment on the finalists and write a limerick for finalists Kris Allen and Adam Lambert: ...”

  • Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks. (Song Parody)
    "Hark! The former Speaker speaks.
    Headlines, Speaker Gingrich seeks. ...”

  • The “We Did Nothing Wrong, & Nancy Should Have Stopped Us” Song (Song Parody to Camptown Races)
    “The CIA did nothing wrong.
    Doo-da, Doo-da.
    Pelosi knew and went along.
    Oh, de doo-da day. ...”

  • The Dreaded E-Word (Song Parody) “President Obama recently used the e-word in connection with his yet-to-be-named U.S. Supreme Court nominee, and the Republicans were (or pretended to be) horrified. ...”

  • Musical Faux Pas (Limerick)
    "The solo violist played well,
    With strong bowing, tone clear as a bell. ..."

  • Two Dicks (Song Parody) “Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh have been having quite the love fest lately. Of course, they’ve always been in bed together: ...”

  • Ode To GOP Grovelers (Song Parody to the Mickey Mouse Club Song) “Who’s in charge of the GOP? Based on all the groveling and Limbaugh-tuckus-licking, it’s surely the guy with “talent on loan from God” … even though God foreclosed over a decade ago. ...”

  • McCain's Bellicose Tune (Song Parody -- Sing to I’m Popeye The Sailor Man)
    "I’m tougher than nails, I am.
    I stand up for Uncle Sam.
    The other guy’s weak,
    While I’m still at my peak,
    Cuz I’m tougher than nails, I am! ..."

  • Open Sesame (Limerick)
    "Why on earth are CDs packed so tight?
    You can’t hear them without a huge fight. ..."

  • Musical Duo (Flute & Lute Humor)

  • Tempo, Tempo "Prompted to pay special attention to tempo and pacing, I’ve written a tanka made up entirely of Italian musical tempo terms. ..."

  • Competition Haiku

  • The Filibuster (Full-a-Bluster) Song (Song Parody -- Sing to Alouette)
    Ban the filibuster!”
    Ancient bluster
    from the GOP. ..."

  • GOP Piety Song Parody (Sing to Billy Joel’s Honesty)
    “Piety is such a misused word.
    GOPers preach on cue.
    Piety — their fakery’s absurd.
    See through them and turn red to blue. ..."

  • Bush Gaffes Used To Make Me Laugh (With Apologies To The Gershwin Brothers) "These days I find Bush gaffes more sad than amusing. But I couldn’t resist this great headline: Bush backs ‘Austrian troops’ at ‘OPEC’. ..."

  • Yet Another American Idol Limerick "As regular readers know, watching American Idol is one of my guilty pleasures. But it sure wasn’t much of a pleasure last week, when mellifluous Melinda was sent packing and Blake wasn’t: ..."

  • Serenade For The First Sufferers (Song Parody) "I’m betting that Laura Bush can finally say goodbye to her relatively high approval numbers. Why? Because on this morning’s Today Show, Laura said something to Anne Curry that’s way beyond obnoxious. ..."

  • American Idol — My Guilty Pleasure (Limerick)
    "American Idol’s a show
    I enjoy. Why? I really don’t know: ..."

  • Bush Speaks Loudly And Carries A Small Stick "What important business did President Bush conduct this weekend? He waved a small stick – a conductor’s baton — while pretending to conduct a symphony orchestra. ..."

  • The Commander Guy Uncensored "George Dubya, our swaggering action-figure president, has dubbed himself 'The Commander Guy.' Okay, that’s absurd enough. But here’s the part you may have missed: ..."

  • Ode To Judy Carmichael, Stride Pianist "I live in New York City, so my husband Mark and I often catch great musical acts, plays, art shows, and other entertainment and cultural diversions in the Big Apple. ..."

  • Amazing Disgrace (To be sung to the tune of Amazing Grace)
    "Our Bill of Rights, how sweet the sound.
    It's kept our people free.
    Alas, we're lost, cause Dub's unbound.
    He flouts it joyfully. ..."

  • Bush and Cheney's Blunderland (Song Parody -- Sing To Winter Wonderland)
    "Rummy’s great, and he’s staying.
    No debate. Stop your braying.
    'Fantastic' at war!
    Bush Rummy adores.
    Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland. ..."

  • He Misled Song Parody (Sing To Mr. Ed)
    "Bush never said “stay the course,” of course.
    And no one can challenge this ass of horse.
    He lies, perforce, to change the course of election day ahead. ..."

  • Bloggers' Rhapsody (To be sung to "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off" by George & Ira Gershwin)
    "You praise my weblog
    And I'll mention your blog.
    You link my weblog
    And I'll link to your blog
    Weblog, Your blog, Weblog, Your blog,
    Let's call the whole thing off.
    You laud my rampage
    On Bush's last outrage.
    You say I'm so sage,
    Go check out my web page..."

  • Auld Lang Impeachment -- Song Parody (Sing to "Auld Lang Syne")
    "Bush/Cheney's wrongs won't be forgot.
    Each one we'll keep in mind.
    These evil men must be locked up
    For all their many crimes.
    They spied on U.S. citizens.
    They lied us into war..."

  • Those &^%$#$% Auditions!!! (Limerick)
    "If a symphony job is your mission,
    You’d better learn how to audition. ..."

  • The Ballad Of Joementum Joe Lieberman (To be sung to the tune of Danny Boy)
    "Joementum Joe, you've long outstayed your welcome.
    You've let us down, it's time to pay the price.
    You've been disloyal to voters and your party.
    You're way too close to Rummy, Bush, and Rice..."

  • Hey Condi, When They Asked You To Be A Hands-On Secretary of State, This Isn't What They Meant
    "You'd think that with all the disasters overtaking the world, Condi Rice would be far too busy to play Brahms or Shostakovich at a piano recital..."

  • Give Me An "A!" (Limerick)
    "When symphony instruments tune,
    They’re not matching the flute or bassoon; ..."

  • Mad Kane Reads The AP, So You Don't Have To (Song Parody)

  • The White House Shakeup Song (Sing to Good King Wenceslas)
    "Bolten's cleaning house they claim.
    He needs staffers brainy.
    Upward polls are Bolten's aim.
    Why not start with Cheney? ..."

  • Ode To Kenny Boy (To be sung to the tune of "Danny Boy")
    "Oh Kenny Boy, the jails, the jails are calling,
    From state to state, and through the world so wide.
    The money's gone, and all the chips are falling,
    'Tis you, 'tis you must go and you must hide..."

  • Faking Contrition - Song Parody (Sing to "Waltzing Matilda")
    "Faking contrition.
    Faking contrition.
    Cheney feels bad that he shot his good friend.
    If you don't buy his story, you're a lib'ral Democrat.
    Leave him alone. This harassment must end..."

  • Don't Hunt With Dick Cheney Song Parody (Sing to "On Top Of Old Smokey")
    "Don't hunt with Dick Cheney.
    You might end up dead.
    He'll aim for your torso,
    Or even your head..."

  • Say Goodbye To Tom DeLay -- Song Parody (Sing to "Yesterday")
    "Tom DeLay,
    He's got troubles. They won't go away.
    Jack's pled guilty and he'll have his say.
    So say goodbye to Tom DeLay..."

  • Sparring Over Spare Time "Do you and your spouse argue about how to spend your spare time? Togetherness can be tough to achieve when a couple's interests just don't jibe. But this contract may be just the cure for your spare time blues..."

  • Ode To Takeout -- Song Parody -- Sing To My Favorite Things
    "Baked meat lasagna and Indian curry.
    Sesame noodles. I'm famished! Please hurry!
    Buddha's Delight that is fit for a king.
    Takeout is one of my favorite things..."

  • Bill O'Reilly's Faux War On Christmas Song Parody (Sing to "Get Me To The Church On Time")
    "Bill says we're waging war on Christmas,
    Spouting another Fox News lie.
    Bill's rarely proper.
    Loves telling whoppers.
    Ain't nothing that his fans won't buy..."

  • Harriet's Song: Bush Is The Sunshine Of Her Life (Sing to "You Are The Sunshine Of My Life")
    "You are the best Prez in the land.
    That’s why I always shall be loyal.
    You are the smartest living man.
    I just can't wait to join the Court..."

  • Ode To Tom DeLay -- Song Parody (to be sung to "To All The Girls I've Loved Before")
    "A Rep whose name is Tom DeLay,
    He breaks the rules most ev'ry day.
    He don't respect the law,
    Thinks ethics are a bore..."

  • Bush and Cheney Horrorland Song Parody (to be sung to "Winter Wonderland")
    "People die, for no reason.
    People starve, 'tis the season.
    A terrible blight,
    Each night after night,
    In the Bush and Cheney Horrorland..."

  • Warrior Dub's Anthem -- Song Parody (Sing To "Strangers In The Night")
    "Bush didn't pick this fight,
    But he shall win it.
    We must show our might.
    That's how he spins it.
    Bush is in the right,
    Cause Dubya speaks to God..."

  • Cheney's Last Throes -- Song Parody (Sing To "On Top Of Old Smokey")
    "Dick says the insurgents
    Are in their last throes,
    The war's almost over,
    We're beating our foes..."

  • The Immoderate Pact Song Parody (Sing to When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again)
    "The 'moderates' made a voting pact.
    We're screwed, we're screwed.
    The 'moderates' got their power back.
    We're screwed, we're screwed.
    Their deal betrays our democracy..."

  • The Don't Compromise Song (Sing to Let's Twist Again)
    "Let's compromise,"
    Words that make me shudder.
    Yeah, "let's compromise,"
    Words I've grown to fear..."

  • The Filibuster Song (Sing to Alouette)
    Save the filibuster.
    Save Democracy..."

  • Who Can Turn The World Off With A Snarl (Song Parody about John Bolton to be sung to the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme song "Love Is All Around")
    "Who mistreats his staff? Who's filled with bile?
    Who can take a lovely day, and suddenly ruin it with hate so vile? ..."

  • Nothin's More Revoltin' Than Dub's Nominee John Bolton -- Song Parody (to be sung to "Carolina In The Morning")
    "Nothin's more insultin' than a nominee named Bolton to the U........ N.
    Nothin's more revoltin' than that hawkish man named Bolton at the U........ N..."

  • A Baysider's Ode To Queens (to be sung to Beethoven's Ode To Joy)
    "Both a county and a borough,
    Part of New York City too.
    On Long Island, yet not of it.
    I'm confused as hell. Are you? ..."

  • Dubya's "He's Hiding" Song
    "He's hiding,
    He's hiding.
    How should I know where he'd go?
    Bin Laden's on the run in caverns.
    Where? Don't know..."

  • The No Comment Chorus (Bush can sing his way out of answering questions.)

  • Singing The Koufax Competition Blues (to be sung to "I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face")
    "A Koufax mention would be great.
    'T'would almost make the day begin.
    A word or two would be a boon.
    I'd thank you night and noon..."

  • The Education President Song (to be sung to "I Write The Songs")
    "Bush promised parents that he'd fix our schools.
    That he'd make sure their children didn't turn out fools.
    But all the teachers got were lots of rules..."

  • Blog Soireé Song Parody (Sing To Winter Wonderland)
    "Michael posed, Julia fêted,
    While Elayne, Mike's scar vetted.
    A wonderful time,
    We had Friday night,
    At a Queens, New Yorker's blog soirée..."

  • Shipping Bush/Cheney Back Home (to be sung to "The Caissons Go Rolling Along")
    "On the Hill, on the dale,
    Kerry/Edwards will not fail.
    We'll be shipping Bush/Cheney back home..."

  • Oust George Bush Song Parody (to be sung to "Five Foot Two" a/k/a "Has Anybody Seen My Gal?")
    It's time to oust them from DC.
    Evict George Bush and all his pals..."

  • The GOP Hits New York Song Parody (to be sung to "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again")
    "The GOP bash will soon be here.
    Oh, no! Oh, no!
    Won't give 'em a hearty welcome cheer.
    Oh, no! Oh, no..."

  • Ode To John Edwards a/k/a The Trial Lawyers Song (to be sung to "Moon River")
    "Trial lawyers
    Go that extra mile,
    To see that all those vile
    Guys pay..."

  • Dump Bush Song (to be sung to "Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush")
    "We must defeat George W. Bush,
    George W. Bush, George W. Bush.
    We must defeat George W. Bush.
    Vote Kerry this November..."

  • Unforgivable (to be sung to "Unforgettable")
    "I apologize." Bush just won't say,
    "I apologize." George Bush? No way!
    There's a trail of failures caused by Dub.
    He won't say, "I'm sorry." There's the rub.
    Never before has someone been more..."

  • Fact-Free Bush (to be sung to "She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain")
    "When the facts get in the way you change the facts,
    And when facts get in the way, give facts the ax.
    When the facts get in the way,
    When the facts get in the way,
    When the facts get in the way you change the facts..."

  • Oh, What A Mis'rable Failure (to be sung to "Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin'" from "Oklahoma")
    "There's a right wingnut based in the White House.
    End that right wingnut's stay in the White House.
    His lies are piled high as an elephant's eye,
    And it looks like they're climbin' clear up to the sky..."

  • Daily Kos Song A song parody about the right wing attack on the liberal Daily Kos weblog, to be sung to the Mister Ed TV show song.

  • That's What The Law's About (to be sung to "The Hokey Pokey")
    "You have to dot those i's.
    You've got to cross those t's.
    You have to seem so wise.
    You must justify those fees.
    And if you're smart and lucky
    You will turn your case around.
    That's what the law's about..."

  • The Spinning Song (to be sung to "Spinning Wheel" by David Clayton Thomas -- Blood, Sweat & Tears)
    "Down is up. Up is down.
    Spinners wield lies that confound.
    Claimin' that our troubles really prove: We win!
    Spreadin' Bush baloney, Dubya smirks as he spins...."

  • The Traitorgate Song (to be sung to "I Write The Songs" by Barry Manilow)
    "The scandal started with a Niger lie
    About nuke matter Saddam never did buy.
    But Dubya would not let that falsehood die.
    It's Traitorgate, it's Traitorgate..."

  • The Traitor Tune (to be sung to "She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain")
    "If you criticize the White House, you're a fool.
    Nothing more than an Al Qaeda pal and tool.
    If you criticize the White House,
    If you criticize the White House,
    If you criticize the White House, you're a fool..."

  • Dean's Electable (to be sung to "Unforgettable'")
    "Dean's electable. Dean worries Karl.
    So electable, Rove's nails are gnarled.
    It's the fear of Rove that Bush he'll beat,
    That he'll send George Dub a huge defeat..."

  • Bushtown Races "The Bush White House is being praised for not gloating over Saddam Hussein's capture. But is Bush really exercising such uncharacteristic self-restraint? Not according to my sources, who claim he's singing a different tune in the privacy of the Oval Office..."

  • St. Reagan's Song (to be sung to "Just You Wait" from "My Fair Lady")
    "He's a saint, Ronald Reagan, he's a saint!
    You'll be sorry if you dare to say, he ain't.
    A fine bloke who's kind and cunning,
    Beat the Russians, great with money.
    He's a saint, Ronald Reagan, he's a saint..."

  • Dubya's Don't Blame Me Song (to be sung to "Good King Wenceslas")
    "I didn't do it. Not my fault!
    Maybe 'twas some sailor.
    Banners ain't my thing at all.
    I was with my tailor..."

  • French Fall Guy Song (to be sung to "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outa My Hair," from South Pacific)
    "Bush wants to wash the French right out of his hair.
    Old Europe France does things he simply can't bear.
    If only France was out of George Bush's hair.
    He'd always get his way..."

  • The Blackout Song (to be sung to "Just The Way You Are," by Billy Joel)
    "Don't go blaming
    George Bush for blackouts.
    Electric grids are such a bore..."

  • Spying Days Are Here Again (To be sung to "Happy Days Are Here Again")
    "Spying days are here again.
    You aren't safe from evil men.
    One might even be a real close friend.
    Spying days are here again..."

  • The Fair & Balanced Song Parody (To be sung to the tune of "Love and Marriage")
    "Fair and balanced,
    Fair and balanced.
    Empty slogans, rabid views, and shrill rants.
    Fox calls critics liars.
    O'Reilly's filled with angst and ire..."

  • Yellow Bush of Texas (To be sung to "Yellow Rose of Texas")
    "There's a yellow Bush in Texas, that's where he loves to be.
    Where Dub can dodge the media, evading scrutiny.
    He cries so when he leaves there, it nearly breaks his heart..."

  • Fabulosa Condoleezza (To be sung to "Mona Lisa")
    "Condoleezza, Condoleezza, Dub adores you.
    You're so fine at saying falsehoods with a smile.
    Is it cause you're female, Condi, that they've blamed you
    For your fabulosa fakery and guile..."

  • Bush Says The Words (To be sung to "I Write The Songs")
    "I say the words that other people write.
    Don't give a damn if they are wrong or right.
    As long as folks think war is justified.
    I say the words, I say the words..."

  • Bush Misleads (To be sung to "Let It Be")
    "We must drive ourselves in times of trouble.
    Mustn't tarry, must be free.
    We shall work to oust him. Bush misleads..."

  • Democrats' Anthem: Election 2004 (To be sung to "Blowin' In The Wind")
    "How many wars must a President start
    Without any reason at all?
    How much ill will must a President cause
    Until he at last takes the fall?
    How many wars must a President launch
    Because he is greedy for oil?
    The answer my friend is dump Republicans.
    The answer is dump Republicans...."

  • Christie Whitman Went To Town (To be sung to "Yankee Doodle")
    "Christie Whitman went to town
    To do George Dubya's bidding.
    For power acted like a clown,
    Enviro head unfitting.
    Those who've smelled New Jersey's stink
    Got what they expected..."

  • Ari, Ari (To be sung to "Monday, Monday")
    "Ari, Ari, Please don't leave me.
    Ari, Ari, You were all I hoped you would be.
    Oh, Ari, Ari, Ari, Ari, please guarantee
    Through reelection you will still be here with me..."

  • Bye Bye Mitch (To be sung to "Bye Bye Love")
    "Bye bye Mitch,
    Mitch D's quit, he says,
    He helped make a mess,
    I sure ain't gonna cry..."

  • "Traitor" Chicks Serenade (To be sung to "Lollipop")
    "Call 'em Traitor Dixie Chicks, tell you why,
    Insulting Bush besmirches apple pie.
    So when they try to sing and play and dance,
    Man, they haven't got a chance..."

  • All I Want Is A New Regime (To be sung to "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from "My Fair Lady")
    "All I want is a new regime,
    In the White House a brand new team,
    From ear to ear I'd beam,
    Aow, wouldn't it be loverly..."

  • Don't Cry For Dick's Halliburton (To be sung to the chorus of "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina")
    "Don't cry for Dick's Halliburton.
    The truth is he never left you.
    All through his Veep days,
    His mad existence,
    He kept his promise.
    He went the distance..."

  • Bush Don't Need No Demonstrations (To be sung to "Another Brick in the Wall," by Pink Floyd)
    "Bush don't need no demonstrations.
    He don't need no 'pinion polls.
    No dark forecasts of gloom and war doom.
    Peaceniks! Leave George Bush alone..."

  • Old George Dubya's Talkin' (To be sung to "Everybody's Talkin'")
    "Old George Dubya's talkin' at me.
    I don't buy a word he's sayin'.
    Can't bear the echoes of his lies..."

  • Prez From Old New England (To be sung to "Girl From Ipanema")
    "Tall and tan and brash and ornery,
    The Prez from old New England goes talking,
    And when he rants, yes, the Dems he bashes go -- Bah..."

  • Class Warfare Song (To be sung to "Moon River")
    "Class warfare,
    Poverty will swell
    If Karl and Dubya get
    Their way..."

  • Bush and Tony (To be sung to the tune of "Love and Marriage")
    "Bush and Tony, Bush and Tony
    Go together like a cart and pony.
    This I tell you brother
    You can't have one without the other.
    Bush and Tony, Bush and Tony
    Always waging war & being phony..."

  • Wonderbra Song (To be sung to "Miracle of Miracles" from "Fiddler on the Roof")
    "Wonder of wonders.
    Miracle of miracles.
    Wonderbra can make you huge..."

  • Fristy The Surgeon (To be sung to "Frosty The Snowman" by Nelson & Rollins)
    "Fristy the surgeon
    Was elected on the phone.
    With a White House boost got the Leader post.
    Will he throw Trent Lott a bone..."

  • Bush Loves Things Just The Way They Are (To be sung to "Just The Way You Are" by Billy Joel)
    "Don't go blaming
    George Bush for Wall Street,
    Cause fuzzy math is such a bore..."

  • Secret To Hide (To be sung to "Ticket To Ride" by Lennon/McCartney)
    "The nation's gonna be had.
    I think it's today, yeah.
    That Bush he's driving me mad
    With Henry the K..."

  • The Rantings Of Trent Lott (To be sung to "The Sidewalks Of New York" by Lawlor & Blake)
    "Sounding off in DC
    From his Senate stoop,
    In his right-wing meetings,
    Lott leads a scary group..."

  • When Liberals Rule (To be sung to "Blue Bayou" by Roy Orbison and Joe Melson)
    "I feel so bad, I got a worried mind,
    I`m so anxious all the time,
    Since the Dems were left far behind
    And George Bush rules..."

  • Say Goodbye To Privacy (To be sung to "Say Goodbye to Hollywood" by Billy Joel)
    "Bush is drivin' through a bill that strips rights,
    Turns your life to an open, guided tour.
    It sends your info to a Fed'ral machine.
    It's a scene straight from Nineteen-Eight-Four.
    Say goodbye to privacy.
    Say goodbye to freedom..."

  • Tommy's Tune (To be sung to "Alfie" by Hal David & Burt Bacharach)
    "What's it all about, Tommy?
    Why did Dems get such paltry few wins..."

  • Bush Don't Want No Arms Inspections (To be sung to "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones)
    "I don't want no arms inspections,
    I don't want no arms inspections.
    But I lie and I lie and I lie and I lie..."

  • Irresolution Blues (To be sung to "I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter" by Ahlert/Young)
    "I had to rubber stamp that Iraq resolution.
    And make believe it's right to do.
    The GOP is tough to beat.
    I'm scared to go down in defeat.
    And so I kissed George Bush's bottom.
    Please don't think I'm rotten..."

  • Suin' For The Win (To be sung to "Blowin' In The Wind" by Bob Dylan)
    "How many ways can I run unopposed
    And still claim that I'm being fair?
    How many ways can I get every vote
    And land me a Senator's chair?
    How many claims can I bring to the courts
    Before the election's declared?
    The answer my friends is in my lawyers' hands,
    The answer is in my lawyers' hands..."

  • 401(k) Ode (Owed) (To be sung to "Toot, Toot, Tootsie, Goodbye" by Kahn, Erdman & Russo)
    "Four-Oh-One-Kay, good-bye!
    Keeps on dropping, oh my!
    Republicans who tell me,
    I shouldn't be blue, no words can tell how mad it makes me.
    Four-Oh-One-Kay, oh when
    Will you rise up again..."

  • Don't Think Twice, Let's Just Fight (To be sung to "Don't Think Twice" by Bob Dylan)
    "Well it ain’t no use to curse and pine and sigh, babe.
    If you don't know by now.
    And it ain’t no use to miss that other guy, babe.
    And the ever rising Dow.
    Cause my boosters crow and the weak Dems fawn.
    Read any paper. You'll see I've won.
    That's the reason I'm warrin' on.
    Don't think twice, let's just fight..."

  • Bush Clears His Brain (To be sung to "The Rain In Spain" from "My Fair Lady" by Lerner & Loewe)
    "To clear his brain Bush runs across the plain.
    That George he does it.
    That George he does it.
    He runs because he fears he'll go insane..."

  • Iraq, Iraq (To be sung to "New York, New York" from "On The Town")
    "Iraq, Iraq, I refuse to back down.
    Most hawks say yup, but some others just frown.
    Hussein belongs in a hole in the ground.
    Iraq, Iraq, I refuse to back down..."

  • War's A Distraction (To be sung to "Anticipation" by Carly Simon)
    "We can never know about the days to come.
    But we think about them anyway.
    And I wonder how we let Bush bring us down.
    Why he always gets his damn mean and evil way.
    War's a distraction. War's a distraction.
    He's feeding us hate.
    Iraq he's baiting..."

  • Weblog Wonderland (To be sung to "Winter Wonderland")
    "Bloggers zing, are you list'nin'?
    Some are vain, some are bristlin'.
    The left and the right
    Are happy tonight.
    Surfin' in a weblog wonderland..."

  • On Wall Street (To be sung to "On Broadway")
    "They say that things are really bad on Wall Street.
    They say there's much malfeasance in the air.
    But I don't want to hurt my friends.
    And tough laws give my pals the bends.
    Then donors drop right off and I'm nowhere..."

  • Preemption (To be sung to "Tradition" from "Fiddler On The Roof")
    "Preemption, preemption! Preemption!
    Preemption, preemption! Preemption!
    Who, day and night, must run the greatest nation,
    Heed the polls and Karl Rove, say his daily prayers?
    And who has the right, as U. S. President,
    To have the final word on war..."

  • I Read The News Each Day, Oh Boy (To be sung to the tune of "A Day In The Life" by Lennon/McCartney)
    "I read the news each day, oh boy
    About a President who got poor grades.
    Of course the news is mostly sad
    Though one thing made me laugh
    The chewing gum photograph..."

  • Spinmeister (To be sung to the tune of "Matchmaker" from "Fiddler on the Roof")
    "Spinmeister, spinmeister, spin me some spin,
    Write me a line, win me a win.
    Spinmeister, spinmeister, search through your brain
    And spin me some 9-1-1 spin..."

  • Ode to Pootie-Poot (To be sung to the tune of "Lollipop" by the Chordettes)
    "Pootie-Poot, Pootie-Poot, oh Pootie, Pootie, Pootie,
    Pootie-Poot, Pootie-Poot, oh Pootie, Pootie, Pootie,
    Pootie-Poot, Pootie-Poot, oh Pootie, Pootie, Pootie,

    Call my Putin Pootie-Poot.
    Tell you why.
    His soul is sweeter than an apple pie.
    But with his tough negotiation stance
    Man, I haven't got a chance..."

  • Ashcroft's Favorite Things (To be sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things")
    "Rifles and roscoes and Winch'sters and cannons,
    Rich NRA guys who own lots of weapons,
    Generous men to whose pockets I cling,
    These are a few of my favorite things..."

  • Five Foot Ten (To be sung to the tune of "Five Foot Two")
    "Five foot ten, great at spin,
    But oh! she's tougher than most men.
    Has anybody seen my gal?
    Striking pose, scares my foes,
    There's no end to what she knows.
    Has anybody seen my gal..."

  • Hey Hughes (To be sung to the tune of "Hey Jude")
    "Hey Hughes, don't leave DC.
    Take a sad Bush and make me better.
    Remember I need you cause you're so smart,
    Then you can start to make me better..."

  • I'm Dubya The President (To be sung to the tune of "I'm Popeye The Sailor Man")
    "I'm Dubya the President.
    I've always said what I meant.
    When I yell "Stop terror!"
    I'm never in error.
    I'm Dubya the President..."

  • Held Up By Music-On-Hold "According to a recent study done by The Institute To Get Press Coverage By Conducting Studies, men's preferred phone-on-hold music is classical. Excuse me? Have you ever seen a man remain on hold long enough to hear more than three notes of anything? How many men do you know who can..."

  • Dubya's Dream (To be sung to the tune of "Impossible Dream" from "Man From La Mancha")
    "To scheme an insidious scheme,
    Where every dissenter's my foe,
    To act like I share people's sorrow,
    To run three fast miles in a row..."

  • Sounding Off "I really hope my neighbors hate classical music..."

  • Nukes Glorious Nukes (To be sung to the tune of "Food Glorious Food" from "Oliver")
    "Nukes, glorious nukes! I'm eager to build 'em.
    When I'm in the mood, I might even launch 'em.
    Peace? Don't make me laugh, boys. What's next? There's no question.
    Rich patriots rule. Doves get indigestion..."

  • Bush And His Shadow (To be sung to the tune of "Me And My Shadow")
    "Bush and his shadow, ruling the United States.
    Bush and his shadow, not a word to Dems whose guts he hates.
    And when it's time to act, he turns to Blair.
    Bush won't share facts with Congress on a dare.
    Just Bush and his shadow, all alone and feeling great..."

  • Old Dick Cheney (To be sung to the tune of "Old MacDonald Had A Farm")
    "Old Dick Cheney's hiding stuff, from the GAO.
    And when they sued, Dick had a cow, he hates the GAO.
    With a lawsuit here and a lawsuit there,
    Here a suit, there a suit,
    Everywhere a lawsuit.
    Old Dick Cheney's hiding stuff, from the GAO..."

  • Net Radio Blues "It's time for an embarrassing confession: I don't have cable TV or, for that matter, a microwave oven. I'd like to think I compensate by being the proud owner of one laptop and 2 PCs. But that's small comfort when I'm faced with frozen pizza..."

  • Jump, Jive, & Sweat "You're gonna swing dance in this weather? Are you insane?"
    I've been asked that a lot lately, which isn't surprising when you consider this summer's humidity and heat wave. New York City's weather has been so unbearable, that felons have switched from car theft to stealing AC's...

  • Dubya's Ode To Korean Sunshine (To be sung to the tune of "You Are My Sunshine")
    "I praise the sunshine, I root for sunshine,
    Tween South Korea and N. K. too.
    They'll never know, Dick, how much I'm lying.
    Please don't take my war ruse away..."

  • Romancing The Stoic "We've lost power!" I shrieked, as the lights went out and a Brahms concerto stopped mid-cadenza. "It's okay," my husband Mark said, in a futile attempt to calm me down. For already I was ransacking the house in search of flashlights, candles, matches and batteries. And as usual, I'd hidden them away in a safe and elusive spot.

Return Home (

Humor by Madeleine Begun Kane on Google+       Music Humor Blog

Home      Latest Humor      Car Humor      Career Humor      Computer Humor      Feminist Humor      Health Humor      Holiday Humor      Law Humor      Marriage & Family Humor      Media Humor      Money Humor      Music Humor      New York Humor      Poetry      Political Humor      Travel Humor      Misc. Humor      Raising Kane Humor      Books      Interviews      Offbeat News      About Me      Awards      Email      Newsletter

All contents © Madeleine Begun Kane @ unless otherwise noted. All Rights Reserved.
Material may not be reproduced without prior written permission.
Email for reprint permissions. Privacy Policy