Musical Discord
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Your playing is way out of tune,”
The conductor informed the bassoon.
“All your high notes are sharp,
And I don’t mean to carp,
But you sound like a horny baboon”.
The bassoonist replied, “Sir, your ear
Gets progressively worse ev’ry year,
And your cues are all wrong,
So we just play along
And pretend your baton waving’s clear.”
(Orchestrated in response to these play, sharp, and simile challenges.)
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This entry was posted
on Sunday, May 18th, 2008 at 3:30 pm and is filed under Music Humor & Verse, Limericks.
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May 18th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Bassoon’s don’t go out of tune quite like a violin or other stringed instrument, but I guess it’s possible to sound like a horny baboon (though I can’t claim to have heard one). Do you play the bassoon?
May 19th, 2008 at 12:24 am
Bonnie, I worked as an symphony orchestra oboist for many years and have a brother who played the bassoon. Trust me — a bassoon can play very out of tune. Ever hear one with a screwed up reed?
In any event I was trying to depict in humorous, exaggerated fashion the conflicts between egomaniacal (and often incompetent) conductors and the musicians forced to play under them.
May 19th, 2008 at 12:53 am
I got the best reeds available when I played the bassoon, and I’m sure my experience in high school, college, and Chattanooga Youth Symphony doesn’t match your experience. I just don’t remember hearing one as out of tune as that. I should have said I really LIKE your “Musical Discord” and the blow (pun intended) you delivered to the conductor. I chose NOT to audition for the Chattanooga Symphony Orchestra, when invited (twice), because I had had the misfortune of playing under their conductor, who also conducted the Youth Symphony. He managed to make the experience less enjoyable than it could have been … and should have been. Keep up the good work, my friend!
May 19th, 2008 at 1:10 am
Thanks, Bonnie. Be glad that you experienced that bad conductor before making a commitment to the orchestra.
Cuz as you clearly know, playing under a bad or obnoxious conductor is hellish.
By the way, I attempted to play my brother’s bassoon once, but was too small to play it. I’m only five foot and have small hands.
By the way, you might also enjoy this wind instrument related limerick:
Give Me An “A”.
May 19th, 2008 at 4:03 am
This is fun! Have you read about the robot conductor that performed with a major orchestra recently?
May 19th, 2008 at 8:51 am
I’ve never played an instrument but this would apply to smome teachers I’ve known! Cute! It made me chuckle.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:37 am
:-)
May 19th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Love it!
:D
May 19th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I’m still laughing at the horny babboon!
Very flowy and funny!
Welcome to the Poetry train!
May 19th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
What fun! It had me giggling!
May 19th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Wonderful, fun poem!
May 19th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
you are quite amazing!
May 19th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Your story flows so perfectly within its form. So natural. Love it!
May 20th, 2008 at 11:05 am
I don’t think you can play a bassoon without looking like a baboon.
May 20th, 2008 at 11:23 am
I have definate heard some bassoons that sound like baboons… or was it the bassoonist acted like a baboon! Very nicely done. Beware conductors everywhere!
Christina