Archive for April, 2008

Tripped Up By Traveling

Sunday, April 27th, 2008

Tripped Up By Traveling
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s outrageous, a rip-off, a gyp
What we paid for that terrible trip.
And to make matters worse,
I lost baggage and purse.
I believe they went down with the ship.

Note: This was inspired by two prompts: rip and outrageous.  And speaking of poetry prompts, there’s still plenty of time to participate in my latest limerick and haiku prompt, whose theme is temper.

Ode To A Grudge-Holding Judge

Saturday, April 26th, 2008

Ode To A Grudge-Holding Judge
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a federal judge
Who was famous for holding a grudge.
But his clerk found a way
To get him to say,
“I forgive you.” She bribed him with fudge.

UPDATE: I just found out that June 16th is National Fudge Day. Enjoy!

Temper, Temper (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)

Friday, April 25th, 2008

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is temper. First, my limerick:

Ode to An Ill-Tempered Felon
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A felonious fellow named Mort
Went to jail cuz his temper was short.
He assaulted a mime,
Committing his crime
(And his tort) with a bottle of Port.

And now my temper haiku:

Losing his temper,
He screamed, cursed, and hurled books.
I guess he found it.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about temper. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

(Note: You may have noticed that my limerick contains some legal jargon. For more on poems containing specialized jargon, check out Read Write Poem.)

 

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
  

1. Connie
2. Linda – Nickers and Ink – Limerick
3. Linda – Nickers and Ink – Haiku
4. Felix Morgenstern
5. paisley
6. Noah the Great
7. Noah the Great
8. Tumblewords
9. Rob Kistner

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your temper-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Dear Spring

Thursday, April 24th, 2008

Dear Spring
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear spring, you are late once again. 
Yet you claim that you’ve been here, since when?
Thirty days?  That can’t be:
It’s still cold out, you see.
And some sun would be nice, now and then.

Note: I feel almost guilty posting this, since yesterday’s weather was delightful.  But a couple of days ago, when Totally Optional Prompts prompted me to write it, it was unseasonably cold.

Humor Carnival 2 (Updated)

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

Welcome to the second edition of the Humor Carnival, the only carnival that let’s you vote for your favorite post and awards a $10 PayPal cash prize to whichever site gets the most votes.

Which reminds me, it’s time to announce the winner of Humor Carnival 1.  If you’ve stopped by that edition lately, you’ll know that Erik Deckers of Laughing-Stalk fame was the winner by a long shot, proving he’s not only very funny, but that he’s also great at persuading people to vote for him.  Hmmm, I understand the Democrats could use a presidential nominee.

And now it’s time for Humor Carnival 2’s humorists — my favorite 14 submissions. I hope you enjoy these funny posts as much as I did.  And please don’t forget to vote for your favorite:

Computer and Technology Humor

Andy Boyd presents 25 Ways To Destroy Your Old Printer posted at The News In Print.

Marriage and Family Humor

Kevin Cummings presents Memory Laps posted at Short Cummings Audio.

Melvin Durai presents A vacation you’re guaranteed to enjoy posted at Nshima & Curry.

Erik Deckers presents I Still Don’t Have a Topic posted at Laughing Stalk by Erik Deckers.

Leeuna Foster presents Sunday Drive to No Business posted at Leeuna’s Blog.

News and Politics Humor

Steve Bates presents Fun And Games, Guns And Fame (Song Parody) posted at Yellow Doggerel Democrat.

Don Davis presents Top Ten Signs Your Campaign Is Not Going Well posted at Satirical Political.

Jim Lovell presents Small, Jerkwater Towns the Backbone of America posted at The Specious Report.

Ben Litwack presents Sexually Abused Picnic Table Tells All! posted at L.A. Boondoggle.

Brent Diggs presents Putting The Economy In Motion – Buck-O-Quest: Part 2 : The Ominous Comma posted at The Ominous Comma.

Animal and Pet Humor

Kelly presents Marley: Discerning, Prudent, Shrewd posted at View Along the Way.

Kathy Frederick presents My Interview with Remy posted at The Junk Drawer.

Miscellaneous Satire

Chris presents A Skeptical Look at Pennsylvania posted at Martial Development.

Charles H. Green presents Ford Harding’s Ode to Distrust posted at Trust Matters.

Dear IRS

Sunday, April 20th, 2008

I thought I was through bitching about taxes and the IRS for at least a few months.  But apparently not: 

Dear IRS
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear folks at the Fed IRS,
Your rules and your regs are a mess.
You’re unfair to the poor. 
Middle class?  Even more.
So beware, cuz I know your address.

Note to the FBI, the IRS, and Homeland Security: This is a humor blog, so please don’t arrest me. Thanks for … uh … listening.

Ode to An Earthquake

Friday, April 18th, 2008

Ode To An Earthquake (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s ’71.  I awake
In LA to a 6.6 quake.
I feel nothing but terror
And curse out my error
In moving here. What a mistake!

Note: I graduated from Cal Arts in 1971.  Great school, but I could definitely have done without that  terrifying earthquake.

Healthy Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)

Friday, April 18th, 2008

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is health. First, my limerick:

Maladjusted Men
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Maladjusted men sometimes say, “Doc, 
Chiropractic is naught but a crock. 
Your adjustments don’t work, 
You’re a sick, spineless jerk, 
And I’ll sue till you’re broke and in hock!”

And now my handy haiku:

My musical hands,
Stricken by carpal tunnel,
Betrayed by my wrists.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about health. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

1. Crafty Green Poet
2. Tumblewords
3. Nickers and Ink – Limerick 4. Iself

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your health-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Ode To A Despicable Person (Updated)

Saturday, April 12th, 2008

As you can probably tell, I was in a very bad mood when I wrote this limerick. (Tax filing season tends to do that to me.) 

But I was determined to write something using words from three different prompts in a single poem.  Why? I have absolutely no idea.   But here’s the product of a bud prompt, a fearless prompt and a flight prompt. For five points, can you name the person I’m describing in this limerick?

Ode To A Despicable Person
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Hey bud, don’t pretend to be fearless.
In your cowardice, you’re nearly peerless.
You took flight from your duty.
Your record’s no beauty.
You ought to be jailed and careerless.

Update: Here’s a haiku using the same three prompts, with my thanks to hubby Mark for the first two lines:

“This Bud is on me,”
Said the fearless flight steward,
Handing her a rose.

Rivals

Sunday, April 6th, 2008

Rivals
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An arrogant fellow named Kirk
Thought each of his rivals a jerk.
When he vied for promotion,
He caused a commotion.
Now arrogant Kirk’s out of work.

(This limerick was inspired by Writers Island’s “rivals” prompt. And speaking  of prompts, there’s plenty of time left to give my latest relatives-related poetry prompt a try.)

Creature Of Habit

Saturday, April 5th, 2008

Creature of Habit (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Shall I tell you our specials today?”
Asks the waiter, who knows what I’ll say:
“My regular, please.
Just a burger — no cheese.”
My order’s become a cliché.

(This was inspired by Weekend Wordsmith’s “what’s on the menu” prompt.)

Update: Happy National Waiters and Waitresses Day! (May 21)

Crazy Aunts and Other Mad Relatives (Limerick & Haiku Prompt through April 17th)

Friday, April 4th, 2008

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is relatives. (Thanks to Read Write Poem’s aunt prompt, which inspired this broader theme including any family member.) First, my limerick:

Crazy Aunts
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Crazy aunt in your fam’ly? Let’s see:
Does she scoff at conventions with glee?
Fail to act quite her age?
Give advice strangely sage?
In my fam’ly, the crazy aunt’s me.

And now my haiku:

He made an offer
That I just could not refuse:
Marital bliss.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about a relative. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have two whole weeks!  Why? Because I still haven’t started my tax return.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

 

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
        

1. sister AE
2. Xboxwife
3. paisley
4. Tumblewords
5. Tiel Aisha Ansari
6. Noah the Great

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your family-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

UPDATE 2: I’ve just learned that July 26 is Aunt and Uncle’s Day.

Humor Carnival 1 (April Fools Edition)

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

Happy April Fools Day!  And welcome to the first edition of the Humor Carnival, the only carnival that (so far as I know) let’s you vote for your favorite post. And awards a $10 PayPal cash prize to whichever site gets the most votes.

I was astonished to receive 59 submissions — not bad for a spanking new carnival. Okay, some submitters seem to have confused this with the Carnival of Spam.  But still…

I’m posting my favorite twelve submissions — humor that made me laugh out loud or giggle uncontrollably. These pieces, song parodies, verse, and even a cartoon run the gamut from relationship humor, psychiatry humor, and political satire, to religion humor, job hunting humor, money humor, and humor about trying to write humor.

I hope you enjoy these funny posts as much as I did.  And when you’re done reading, please don’t forget to vote for your favorite:

Dale presents Twenty Ways The Specious Report Is Like The Onion posted at The Specious Report.

Don Davis presents Obama Sings: Jeremiah’s Bull is My Bog posted at The Satirical Political Report.

Michael Dare presents The Passenger Psychiatrist posted at Dareland.

Holly Ord presents Easter–Menstrual Poetry Style! posted at Menstrual Poetry.

Erik Deckers presents This Ain’t No “Gift of the Magi” posted at Laughing Stalk by Erik Deckers.

Angelawd presents I finally have permission to post about this. posted at angelawd.

Melvin Durai presents Column: Obama belongs to all of us posted at Nshima & Curry.

Barbara Diamond presents Iraq War Glossary posted at AMERICAN SCOFFLAW.

Orven Enoveso presents Creative Writing Exercises posted at Writing Exercises.

Jeremy Zongker presents Dan Gibson’s Cartoon: What if Everyone Practiced Universal Default? posted at Destroy Debt.

Brittany Fischer presents Walkin the Walk (of Shame, that is) posted at Brittany’s Hotspots.