Archive for the ‘Behavior & Personality’ Category
Friday, May 10th, 2024
When instructed to “Look over there”
At an elephant, artwork, or chair,
I will look the wrong way,
At some other display.
Will I see what I’m meant to see? Ne’er!
I don’t mean to look elsewhere, I swear.
Yet perversely, I can’t help but stare
To the left, when the right’s
Where I might see the sights
That my hubby’s attempting to share.
Tags: Direction Humor, Direction Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Sightseeing, Sightseeing Humor, Sightseeing Limerick, Travel Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Travel Humor | No Comments »
Wednesday, May 8th, 2024
“I’m exhausted,” said Pete. “Must unwind
And relax, to escape from the grind.
I’ve been moving non-stop.
On a couch I should plop,
But I can’t: That’s not how I’m inclined!”
Tags: Hyper Limerick, Relaxation Humor, Relaxation Limerick, Stress Humor, Stress Limerick
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Limericks | No Comments »
Saturday, May 4th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SLIP or SLIPPED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DECEIT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DECEIT-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
BOTTLE, DARK, GUITAR, RELEASE, SCOLD.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa, and use any other variant of the random words. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 2, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 1, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SLIP or SLIPPED-Rhyme Limerick:
The young oboist tried not to slip
While adjusting her reed; a small snip
Was essential — that’s all!
The reed cracked! Did she bawl?
No, she still kept a stiff upper lip.
And here’s my DECEIT-Themed Limerick:
You have taken advantage of me,
Yet again, said a gal to “pal” Leigh.
I’m feeling abused,
Betrayed and misused,
And I’m betting a court will agree.
You’ve frequently borrowed my spouse
To repair things that break in your house.
It appears that “repair”
Is code for “affair.”
How dare you have sex with that louse!
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
Do not bottle up feelings, we’re told,
But that sort of advice leaves me cold.
Were my feelings released
I’d turn into a beast;
An express-it-all, ornery scold.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Competition Limerick, Deceit Humor, Deceit Limerick, Emotions, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Music Humor, Music Limerick, Oboe Humor, Oboe Limerick, Oboe Reeds, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Honesty Humor, House & Home Humor, Light Verse Contest, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 61 Comments »
Monday, April 29th, 2024
A convivial fellow from France
Took the stage and performed a short dance.
He was graceful and masked.
“Did you like it?” he asked.
Though most clapped, I said, “Next time, wear pants!”
Happy “International Dance Day!” (April 29th each year)
Tags: April Holidays, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Dance Humor, Dance Limerick, Dancing, Dancing Humor, Dancing Limerick, Naked Humor, Naked Limerick, Nude Humor, Nude Limerick, Odd Holidays
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Dance Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | No Comments »
Wednesday, April 24th, 2024
A fellow who frequently mopes,
Moaned, “Ev’rything dashes my hopes!”
He even bewailed
A self-hanging that failed:
“The NEXT time, I’m learning the ropes!”
Tags: Behavior Humor, Behavior Limerick, Depression, Depression Humor, Depression Limerick
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Limericks | No Comments »
Friday, April 19th, 2024
I went gray at a premature age,
But embraced it and hoped to look sage.
For a lawyer sans penis
Back then? Mars v. Venus!
Young, female, and short — NOT the rage!
Tags: Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Discrimination, Feminist Humor, Feminist Limerick, Hair Humor, Height Limerick, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Lawyer Humor, Lawyer Limerick, Personal Limerick, Sexism, Sexism Humor, Sexism Limerick
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Feminist Satire, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Personal, Physical Appearance, Workplace & Career Humor | No Comments »
Thursday, April 18th, 2024
Though it’s rare that I cavil or carp,
And on errors, I try not to harp,
I am ditched by my filter
When pitch is off-kilter;
My critique will be harsh — flat-out sharp!
Tags: Behavior & Personality, Behavior Haiku, Behavior Humor, Criticism Humor, Critics Humor, Intonation, Intonation Humor, Music, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musical Verse, Musician Humor, Personality Humor, Personality Verse, Pitch, Pitch Humor, Voice Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Music Reviews | No Comments »
Tuesday, April 16th, 2024
I attempt to write lim’ricks each day.
But at times my damn mind won’t obey:
For my latest lim-slump
I blame tax forms and Trump.
Both distract me and WON’T GO AWAY!
Tags: Behavior & Personality, Behavior Humor, Concentration Humor, Concentration Limerick, Distractions, Distractions Humor, Distractions Limerick, Donald Trump, Tax Humor, Tax Limerick, Taxes, Writing Humor, Writing Limericks
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | No Comments »
Saturday, April 6th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TACK or ATTACK at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ANNOYANCES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ANNOYANCE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
FALL, FREAKY, GLAMOROUS, LONGER, POINTLESS.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa, and use any other variant of the random words. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 5, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 4, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my TACK or ATTACK-Rhyme Limerick:
In the summer, mosquitoes attack.
(Seems my blood, alas, makes a good snack.)
They hang out in our yard,
Hungry, always on guard
For their “meal” to take one step out back.
And here’s my ANNOYANCE-Themed Limerick:
My enjoyment of scat singing’s scant.
I’m averse to Gregorian Chant.
Bagpipe bands drive me mad!
Vuvuzelas are BAD!
This concludes my unmusical rant.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
An ambitious young woman named Kyle
Found her trend-setting efforts a trial.
One fall evening, she freaked
When this fashion news leaked:
Her new gown was no longer in style.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off Post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bagpipe Humor, Bagpipe Limericks, Competition Limerick, Gregorian Chant, Insect Humor, Insect Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Mosquitoes, Music Humor, Music Limerick, Noise Humor, Noise Limerick Scat Humor, Outdoors Humor, Outdoors Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Seasonal Verse, Vuvuzelas, Writing Prompts, Yard Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Contests, Fashion Humor, Insect Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Seasons Humor, Trends Humor | 105 Comments »
Friday, April 5th, 2024
It is National Volleyball Day.
Will I celebrate? No! Never! Nay!
I’ve a life-long approach
To all balls that encroach:
Duck and hide, if one’s coming my way.
Tags: April Holidays, Balls Humor, Balls Limerick, Odd Holidays, Personal Humor, September Holidays, Sports Humor, Sports Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Personal, Sports Humor | No Comments »
Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024
A haughty old prof who wore tweed
Taught the classics (stuff most folks don’t read.)
A fine poet of note,
The man furtively wrote
Naughty lim’ricks with fervor and speed.
(Tweed Day falls annually on April 3rd.)
Tags: April Holidays, Bawdy Humor, Education Humor, Education Limerick, Limerick Humor, Naughty Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry Humor, Secrecy Humor, Secret Life Humor, Teacher Humor, Teaching Humor, Tweed Day
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Education & School Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Writing & Publishing Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, March 24th, 2024
I’ve no need to go hither and yonder,
For I never have lusted to wander.
I prefer to stay home,
Where no antelopes roam.
Of the views at “Chez Kane” I’m far fonder.
Tags: Home Humor, Home Limerick, Personal Humor, Personal Limerick, Personality Humor, Personality Verse, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick, Wanderlust
Posted in Behavior & Personality, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Personal, Travel Humor | Comments Off on Wanderlust? Not Me! (Limerick)
Saturday, March 16th, 2024
My endurance in gym class was poor.
I was slow, klutzy, small, and what’s more,
The mere sight of a ball
Made me duck. After all,
My two goals were “Break nothing! Don’t score!”
Tags: Athletics, Athletics Humor, Athletics Limerick, Ball Games, Behavior & Personality, Gym Humor, Gym Limerick, Klutzy Humor, Personal Humor, Personal Limerick, Physical Humor, School Humor, School Limerick, Sports Humor, Sports Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Education & School Humor, Gym Humor, Limericks, Personal, Physical Appearance, Sports Humor | Comments Off on My Unathletic Career (Limerick)
Saturday, March 16th, 2024
When a fellow was told he must spy
On his boss, he said “Never! Not I!
He’s terrific to work for,
A treasure to clerk for,
The best boss that money can buy!”
Tags: Boss Humor, Boss Limerick, Spy Humor, Spy Limerick, Workplace Humor, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Workplace & Career Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, March 9th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SHOT or SHOTS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PICTURES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PICTURE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
AMUSING, DOCTOR, NEUROTIC, POSTPONE, VANITY.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 7, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 6, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SHOT or SHOTS-Rhyme Limerick:
“That damn bartender’s AWOL,” said Scott
To his prep cook. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
“Though I’ve never mixed drinks,
I can do it, methinks,
So I gladly will give it a shot.”
And here’s my Picture-Themed Limerick:
“Gotta rush to the bookshop. I’m late!
I am meeting another blind date.
And that chick better look
Like her pic, or I’ll book
It, cuz boy, am I sick of pic-bait!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
An old woman who loved to complain,
Was neurotic and stubborn and vain.
When her doctor prescribed
Her a cane, the gal gibed:
“That will ruin my look. Where’s your brain?”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Bartender Humor, Bartender Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Beverage Humor, Blind Date Humor, Competition Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deception Humor, Doctor Humor, Doctor Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Vanity Humor, Vanity Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 122 Comments »
Saturday, February 24th, 2024
When a fellow awakened, still stoned
From the evening before, he bemoaned
His divorce from his wife,
The unfairness of life,
And a workplace where drugs aren’t condoned.
Sure enough, when he fin’ly appeared
At the office, things went as he feared:
“Get your gear and clear out,
You are fired, you lout,”
Yelled his mom. “Also, shave off that beard!”
Tags: Bad Employees, Bad Workers, Drug Humor, Drugs, Employee Humor, Family Humor, Job Loss Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on The Bad Employee (2-Verse Limerick)
Sunday, February 18th, 2024
A young builder who loved his reflection
Was determined to win an election.
But voters were vexed
Cuz he constantly flexed…
And was caught with a public erection.
Tags: Ambition Humor, Ambition Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limericks, Ego Humor, Ego Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor | Comments Off on An Ambitious Builder, but NOT The One You Think (Limerick)
Saturday, February 10th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WRY or RYE or AWRY at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TEETH, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TOOTH/TEETH-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
LOOK, MESSY, PROOF, RIDDLE, UNFAIR.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 10, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 9, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my WRY or RYE or AWRY-Rhyme Limerick:
Mary’s husband, an insecure guy,
Often asked her, “Is something awry?”
For he feared that his bride
Would soon cast him aside,
Whenever he heard his wife sigh.
“Nothing’s wrong,” she would always reply.
Until one day, she let out a cry,
Saying (weary with rage)
“That damn query’s not sage!
Ask it just one more time, and you DIE!”
Here’s my TOOTH/TEETH-Themed Limerick:
“On your X-rays, I’m seeing decay,”
Said the dentist. “You’ve quite an array
Of molars that must
Be attended to. Just
Pay this sizeable invoice today.”
And here’s my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
“Your article’s riddled with flaws.
Did you proof this? Please look at this clause:
It runs on forever.
So publish this? Never!
Your writing endeavor? Lost cause!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Competition Limerick, Dental Humor, Dental Limerick, Insecurity Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Teeth Humor, Teeth Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 134 Comments »