An old man (who just died) was an ass;
Rather nasty and given to sass.
He, alas, wasn’t tactful.
His gibes were impactful.
(NOT packed full — his funeral Mass.)
Posts Tagged ‘Behavior Humor’
NOT “Mr. Personality” (Limerick)
Saturday, May 31st, 2025Boorish Limerick
Saturday, March 29th, 2025An old boor who believes that he’s hot
Is considered decidedly NOT.
He’s called “too cool for school”
And an “arrogant fool
With less charm than your average bot.”
The Moper (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 24th, 2024A fellow who frequently mopes,
Moaned, “Ev’rything dashes my hopes!”
He even bewailed
A self-hanging that failed:
“The NEXT time, I’m learning the ropes!”
A Critical Difference (Limerick)
Thursday, April 18th, 2024Though it’s rare that I cavil or carp,
And on errors, I try not to harp,
I am ditched by my filter
When pitch is off-kilter;
My critique will be harsh — flat-out sharp!
Distractions (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 16th, 2024I attempt to write lim’ricks each day.
But at times my damn mind won’t obey:
For my latest lim-slump
I blame tax forms and Trump.
Both distract me and WON’T GO AWAY!
Marriage Advice (Limerick)
Saturday, July 29th, 2023“Don’t marry that man: He’s a worm,
And a wiseass, a sneak, and a germ,
An incompetent crook,
And a sniveling schnook,
As most of his bookies confirm.”
Half-Baked Limerick
Friday, September 30th, 2022A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”
(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)
The Upbeat Boy (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 1st, 2022A glass-half-full youngster named Blair
Had trouble resisting a dare.
If he jumped from on high
And fell down, he di’n’t cry;
He’d proclaim, “I was walking on air.”
A Recipe For Trouble (Limerick)
Saturday, May 21st, 2022An annoying acquaintance loves roe
And dishes all covered in dough.
He’ll eat beef by the herd
And most any old bird,
But he’ll always refuse to eat crow.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WEAR or WHERE or WARE or BEWARE or AWARE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 19, 2022)
Saturday, February 5th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WEAR or WHERE or WARE or BEWARE or AWARE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SHORTAGES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SHORTAGE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 20, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 19, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my WEAR or WHERE or WARE or BEWARE or AWARE-rhyme limerick, which happens to be an ACROSTIC Limerick:
Sometimes gals have a “je ne sais quoi.”
Their “look” is the flip-side of blah.
You’ll be tempted to stare.
Leering’s bad, though. Beware!
Eschew cheering. “Hurrah?” How bourgeois!
And here’s my SHORTAGE-themed limerick:
I went shopping for something to eat.
With chicken and fish they’re replete.
They have plenty of peas,
And all manner of cheese,
But they really should beef up their meat.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
A Curmudgeon Confesses (Limerick)
Saturday, January 29th, 2022“A curmudgeon? Who, me? I’ll concede
That I tend to find fault with great speed.
And I often get cranky;
You might need a hanky
To deal with your tears from my screed.”
National Curmudgeons Day is celebrated each year on January 29.
Limerick Rut
Wednesday, April 15th, 2015Limerick Rut
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was stuck in a rut.
It depressed him down deep in his gut.
So he vowed to reform
And conform to the norm–
He would curb all his groovin’ on smut.
Multitask THIS! (Limerick)
Thursday, October 9th, 2014Multitask THIS! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Multitasking is bad for your brain,
Says a study I read on the plane
While cleaning my purse,
Writing email and verse.
Now where WAS I? That study’s insane!
According to research done at Stamford University, we are all seriously screwed.
Limerick Knock (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, February 16th, 2014It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal heard a rather loud knock…*
or
A fellow would frequently knock…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Knock
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A pawnbroker tended to knock
All those people who “live by the clock.”
When they buried the slime,
Folks lost track of the time,
And the sole attendee spoke ad hoc.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Happy Peculiar People Day (January 10)
Thursday, January 9th, 2014Here’s my two-verse quatrain poem, in honor of Peculiar People Day. (January 10)
Ode To Peculiar People
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My peculiar predilection:
I like people who are odd.
I’ll applaud a little strangeness,
But find “normal” humans flawed.
That makes perfect sense: they tell me
I am rather “weird” myself.
I don’t mind critiques and putdowns—
Just don’t call me “off the shelf.”
A Pessimist’s Ode To “Look On The Bright Side Day”
Saturday, December 21st, 2013I was disturbed to hear that today (December 21) is “Look On The Bright Side Day.”
Please don’t tell me to “look on the bright side.”
This merely exposes your trite side.
Neither wise, nor delightful,
It makes me feel spiteful.
Quote that maxim? I’ll max out my smite side.
Half-Baked Plan (Multi-Verse Limerick)
Thursday, July 11th, 2013Half-Baked Plan (Multi-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A baker would frequently groan
About needing a sizable loan
To build up a co
That would make her some dough,
In a quite disagreeable tone.
Her fam’ly kept warning her: “Groans
Simply aren’t conducive to loans.
You must demonstrate spine
And you never should whine.
Why not bribe all the lenders with scones?”
She brought some fresh scones to the bank.
They were primo — she had them to thank
For an influx of cash.
So she threw a big bash
And got baked — ended up in the tank.
Hung over, she signed a bad lease;
Her new landlord sure knew how to fleece.
And business was dicey,
The scones way too pricey–
Her sale price was ten bucks a piece.
So her scone bus’ness quickly went under,
Her finances torn quite asunder.
“My expenses have grown,”
She’d moan on the phone
To her funder, who groaned, “What a blunder!”
A Fishy Tale (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 6th, 2013Yesterday, when I posted this anecdote about my mother-in-law on Facebook, several friends urged me to turn it into a limerick. And so, I’ve done just that. (My limerick is right below the anecdote.)
True story: Sunday night, Mark kept anxiously re-dialing his elderly mother. When she finally answered, her voice sounded very upset as she said, “A terrible thing happened.” Then she paused, as Mark’s heart skipped several beats.
His mother’s next words were: “They stopped making my salmon.”
(She was referring to her favorite canned salmon, which actually is still available, but was out of stock in the two stores she’d been to.)
And now, the limerick:
A Fishy Tale (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Something awful has happened,” she cried,
And then paused. We thought someone had died.
That’s Mark’s mom at her best:
Her horror expressed
About salmon no longer supplied.
Curmudgeonly Limerick
Tuesday, December 18th, 2012Curmudgeonly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A curmudgeon was in a foul mood —
Even worse than his usual tude.
So his concert review
Read in bold letters, “BOO!”
He was paid by the word … so not shrewd.
UPDATE: January 29 is Curmudgeons Day.
Limerick Ode To “World Kindness Day”
Tuesday, November 13th, 2012Happy “World Kindness Day,” which is celebrated on November 13th.
Limerick Ode To “World Kindness Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “World Kindness Day.” Try to be nice.
Put your mean inclinations on ice.
Be pleasant and sweet—
A warm smile would be neat.
Please don’t hurt me — it’s only advice.
(Linked at DVerse Poets.)
