Posts Tagged ‘Banking Humor’

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TANK at the end of any one line

Saturday, October 14th, 2017

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TANK at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to VEGETABLES, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best VEGETABLE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on October 29, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 28, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

As a banker, I’m forced to be frank:
These loan papers read like a prank.
Are you yanking my chain
With this biz plan inane?
Kiddy trike-armor? That’s gonna tank!

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Half-Baked Plan (Multi-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, July 11th, 2013

Half-Baked Plan (Multi-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A baker would frequently groan
About needing a sizable loan
To build up a co
That would make her some dough,
In a quite disagreeable tone.

Her fam’ly kept warning her: “Groans
Simply aren’t conducive to loans.
You must demonstrate spine
And you never should whine.
Why not bribe all the lenders with scones?”

She brought some fresh scones to the bank.
They were primo — she had them to thank
For an influx of cash.
So she threw a big bash
And got baked — ended up in the tank.

Hung over, she signed a bad lease;
Her new landlord sure knew how to fleece.
And business was dicey,
The scones way too pricey–
Her sale price was ten bucks a piece.

So her scone bus’ness quickly went under,
Her finances torn quite asunder.
“My expenses have grown,”
She’d moan on the phone
To her funder, who groaned, “What a blunder!”

Digital Impasse

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

Digital Impasse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My brain is packed with secret codes
To access all my stuff,
Like bank accounts and sundry cards.
Recalling them is rough.

I pay my bills online and need
A PIN for each of those.
My website has a password too,
Protecting verse and prose.

These letters, numbers, symbols mix
In ways to stave off theft.
We’re warned to make them quite complex,
Defeating hackers deft.

We’re also cautioned, “Vary them.
Don’t make your codes the same.
A thief gets hold of only one —
You’re screwed and you’re to blame.”

So ciphers clutter up my mind.
I dare not write them down.
With paper bearing secrets dear,
A thief could go to town.

I’m forced to hide them in my brain —
A codified morass,
Despite my fear that one day soon
They’ll flee my mind en masse.

(Prompted by secrets at Poets United.)