Archive for the ‘Entertainment Humor’ Category

Choice Viewing (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 4th, 2015

Choice Viewing (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What with networks and Netflix and cable
And Hulu and Amazon’s stable
Of shows to be seen,
I’m too wired to screen;
Feeling feeble, can’t pick — kindly table.

Nightmare Limerick

Monday, February 17th, 2014

Nightmare Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I rarely remember my dreams,
Except those that go off to extremes,
Like last night’s — I was taken:
A hostage, till wakin’.
I should stop watching Homeland, it seems.

Limerick Ode To The Emmy Awards

Sunday, September 22nd, 2013

Limerick Ode To The Emmy Awards
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Emmy Awards are tonight,
An annual Sunday night rite,
At which some make the list,
And others feel dissed,
And carpers harp: “TV’s a blight!”

Yet Another Limerick Ode To “Rabbit Ears”

Saturday, August 3rd, 2013

Yet Another Limerick Ode To “Rabbit Ears”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Most New Yorkers can’t see CBS.
It’s a hairy Time Warner Co mess.
But I see it fee-free:
We’ve no cable, you see,
And use rabbit ears — access success!

Note from Mad Kane: This limerick was inspired by the fee dispute between Time Warner Cable and CBS. A previous feud between Time Warner Cable and ABC inspired my original Ode To “Rabbit Ears.”

Hashtag Madness (Limerick)

Monday, April 8th, 2013

Please relax Cher fans — Cher is still alive:

Legions of Twitter users were fooled into thinking the pop singer had passed after people began posting about late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher under the hashtag #nowthatcherisdead.

Hashtag Madness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Nowthatcherisdead” — hashtag blur
Has created one hell of a stir:
Dear fans of Ms. Cher,
Who’ve read “news” you can’t bear:
Cher’s alive. Thatcher’s dead. As you were!

Suspenseful Limerick

Tuesday, March 12th, 2013

Suspenseful Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a hitch in today’s celebrations,
But no reason to hold back libations.
Cuz it’s not for the birds
And it’s not just the nerds
Who commemorate Hitchcock’s creations.

Happy National Alfred Hitchcock Day!

Limerick Ode To Miserable Singing

Monday, February 25th, 2013

Many people were offended by Seth MacFarlane’s “Saw Your Boobs” at last night’s Oscars. But, at the risk of damaging my feminist cred, I’m not one of them.

Of course, I do understand the negative reaction. However, the song didn’t bother me because I viewed it as parody, rather than misogyny.

But what did bother me at the Oscars was everybody pretending that the Les Misérables cast can sing.

Limerick Ode To Miserable Singing
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are folks who appear up in arms:
For the “boob song,” they sound the alarms.
But to me, here’s what riled:
Dreadful singing gone wild
In Les Miz — kindly call les gendarmes.

Lewis Black & The News Quiz USA — A Limerick Review

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

Here’s the limerick review I wrote about the Lewis Black-hosted News Quiz USA. I heard it on WNYC radio in NYC, and it was hilarious, featuring panelists Andy Borowitz, Kathleen Madigan, Todd Barry and Ted Alexandro. You can hear it here.

Right now it’s apparently a one-off, an experimental American version of the UK’s BBC News Quiz. Here’s hoping they’ll decide to turn it into a weekly show.

Lewis Black & The News Quiz USA — A Limerick Review
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The News Quiz with host Lewis Black
Was hilarious. Please bring it back.
We need satire fare
Like this on the air.
For great humor, this team has a knack.

House To Close Its Doors (Limerick)

Thursday, February 9th, 2012

Fox’s medical drama House is finally coming to an end. So it’s confession time: I hate House.

In fact, I loathe all medical dramas, doctor comedies, and any other show about sick people. Why? Because the mere mention of symptoms makes me start feeling them. So if I want to avoid real life doctors, I have to stay far away from the fake ones.

House To Close Its Doors (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though it’s not my intention to grouse,
I detest doctor dramas, like House:
TV ailments and ills
Make me itch, give me chills.
WebMD, here I come — Where’s my mouse?

A Source Of Annoyance (Limerick Movie Review)

Friday, May 13th, 2011

The year is young. But hubby Mark and I already have a candidate for the year’s worst movie-going experience: Source Code. I found it so annoying and boring, that I walked out after a half-hour or so. Mark didn’t like it much either, but opted to stay, hoping for a boffo ending.

So I spent the next ninety minutes wandering around a shopping center, killing time while Mark watched the movie … or so I thought. As I later learned, the film broke twenty or thirty minutes before the movie’s ending, and they never got it going again. So much for that boffo pay-off!

A Source Of Annoyance
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The last movie we saw, was a snooze.
I left early in lieu of loud boos.
Its title was Source Code
It struck our remorse code —
Left us singing the cash-wasted blues.

(Prompted by movie poetry)

American Idol Not Idyllic

Thursday, March 10th, 2011

American Idol Not Idyllic (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I watched Idol last night — wasn’t dandy.
They gave compliments out just like candy.
And something is wrong
When with song after song
The toughest of judges is Randy.

(Linked in I Saw Sunday)

Limerick Odes To Charlie Sheen

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

After flunking (badly) The Guardian’s Who Said This — Gaddafi or Charlie Sheen quiz, I forced myself to watch ABC’s entire 20/20 Charlie Sheen interview conducted (I’m not sure how) by Andrea Canning. Yikes!

I’m no shrink, but if Sheen isn’t certifiable, I can’t imagine who is. Yet Sheen’s suing CBS and Warner Bros. for canceling Two and a Half Men. CBS and Warner Bros. should keep a copy on hand of ABC’s interview. Because that show gives CBS all the ammunition it needs to defeat Sheen’s case. We’re talking loony-tunes-uninsurable!

And so, Charlie Sheen has earned himself two “Dear Charlie” letter limericks. Here’s the first:

Dear Charlie, you’re acting bizarre.
We don’t need yet another sick star.
You appear on the brink
Of a breakdown, yet think
You’re not crazy, which proves that you are.

And here’s my second limerick:

Dear Charlie, you’re losing your sheen.
Once funny, you’re now turning mean.
It’s clear that you’re sick.
Get some help. Do it quick!
And stop wasting your comedy gene.

(You can find more letters at Write A Letter.)

Tastes and Sounds (Haiku and Tanka)

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

Feverish hostess
serves chickpeas dropped on the floor—
a guest spills the beans.

*****

Sick party-goer
coughs and sneezes on buffet—
chilly reception.

*****

The corner bakeshop
seems a buttery temptress,
but smells can deceive.
Pastries seduce, disappoint—
buttery temptress no more.

*****

My first memory:
the sound and the vibration
of a freight train’s roar.
Budding logic says, “Can’t be.”
Sensed pre-birth within the womb?

*****

(My second haiku was inspired by Haiku Heights’ cold prompt. My first memory tanka was inspired by Free Write Fridays and Monday Memories.)

Fighting Mad

Saturday, February 26th, 2011

Since I already wrote a limerick review of the Fighter, I wasn’t planning to post on that topic again. Even Melissa Leo’s “Consider” her for an Oscar photo campaign wasn’t enough to get me writing. Though for the record, I think she looks great in those pics and I’m rooting for her.

Actually, now that I’m on the subject, here’s a message to Leo critics who fault her for showing herself in a more physically attractive light: You’re being sexist. Freedom of choice is a feminist ideal. So if Melissa Leo chooses to look glamorous and sexy for a change, that’s just fine with me. More power to her!

But back to what prompted this post. Carry On Tuesday’s saved by the bell prompt got me thinking about boxers, which reminded me of the Fighter and inspired this limerick:

Saved By The Bell
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The boxer was saved by the bell
After being in boxing match hell.
He needed a break.
That’s all it would take:
That sound ere he once again fell.

(Also for I Saw Sunday.)

UPDATE: Congratulations Melissa Leo on your Oscar! I knew you could f…ing do it.

Yet Another 2011 Super Bowl Limerick

Saturday, February 5th, 2011

Help! I can’t stop writing Super Bowl limericks! After reading about the disastrous Dallas weather leading up to tomorrow’s Super Bowl game, I felt compelled to write this limerick. (Full disclosure: Roughly a zillion years ago I lived in Dallas, played oboe in the Dallas Symphony, and taught oboe at SMU.)

Yet Another 2011 Super Bowl Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A friend of ours living in Dallas
Likes to brag that his city’s a palace,
Taunting “Never get snow!”
Then it snowed (don’t you know)
On the game. I won’t laugh cuz it’s callous.

Not Souped Up By The Super Bowl

Saturday, February 5th, 2011

If you read my limerick about the NFL playoffs, you probably assume I won’t be watching tomorrow’s Super Bowl game in snow-challenged Dallas. And you’d be right:

Not Souped Up By The Super Bowl (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are those who find football a gas.
But when football’s on, I take a pass.
I treat baseball the same.
Just don’t like any game
That has balls. I would rather mow grass.

My Chances Of Watching TV Are Remote

Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011

This week Big Tent Poetry provides a bunch of word prompts, urging us to use one or more in our poems. I used three of them in my haiku (remote, function, handle) and one in a limerick (remote.)

First, my limerick:

I’m tempted to hide the remote
From my spouse in a closet or coat,
Cuz he flicks ev’ry station
In rapid rotation.
Missing show after show gets my goat.

*****
And now my haiku:

Dysfunctional spouse
Wields remote ADD-style.
Wife can’t handle it.

The Fighter, A Limerick Review

Saturday, January 22nd, 2011

I fought seeing The Fighter for reasons I explain in my limerick review. But I’m glad I succumbed:

The Fighter, A Limerick Review
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I tend to hate films about fighting.
Cuz I cringe at the punching and smiting.
But The Fighter is more
About fam’ly than gore.
So see it. I promise — no biting.

(The Fighter stars Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Amy Adams, and Melissa Leo.)

Sporty Limerick

Sunday, January 16th, 2011

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A sports-loving fellow named Lee…

Here’s mine:

Sporty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A sports-loving fellow named Lee
Had a very bad elbow and knee,
Which he blamed on a fall
Suffered playing pro ball,
But he only knew sports from TV.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Have You Ever Noticed…

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

This question will probably make me sound ageist and grumpy. In my preemptive defense, let me say:

1) I’ve been tossing AARP’s annoying magazine for years; and

2) I am grumpy.

So here’s my question: Have you ever noticed that Andy Rooney isn’t funny anymore?

I used to be a fan and would never turn 60 Minutes off until Rooney’s monologue was over. I even owned one of his humor collections. But I can’t remember the last time Andy Rooney made me laugh … or even giggle. These days his commentaries make me cringe.

Now to those who may argue that I’m not funny either, I say:

CBS doesn’t pay me a gazillion bucks a year to not be funny!

And no, this limerick isn’t funny either:

Have You Ever Noticed…
By Madeleine Begun Kane

At the risk of incurring some ire:
Andy Rooney should really retire.
It’s not that he’s old,
And I don’t mean to scold,
But he’s funny no more, and it’s dire.