Limerick Odes To Charlie Sheen

After flunking (badly) The Guardian’s Who Said This — Gaddafi or Charlie Sheen quiz, I forced myself to watch ABC’s entire 20/20 Charlie Sheen interview conducted (I’m not sure how) by Andrea Canning. Yikes!

I’m no shrink, but if Sheen isn’t certifiable, I can’t imagine who is. Yet Sheen’s suing CBS and Warner Bros. for canceling Two and a Half Men. CBS and Warner Bros. should keep a copy on hand of ABC’s interview. Because that show gives CBS all the ammunition it needs to defeat Sheen’s case. We’re talking loony-tunes-uninsurable!

And so, Charlie Sheen has earned himself two “Dear Charlie” letter limericks. Here’s the first:

Dear Charlie, you’re acting bizarre.
We don’t need yet another sick star.
You appear on the brink
Of a breakdown, yet think
You’re not crazy, which proves that you are.

And here’s my second limerick:

Dear Charlie, you’re losing your sheen.
Once funny, you’re now turning mean.
It’s clear that you’re sick.
Get some help. Do it quick!
And stop wasting your comedy gene.

(You can find more letters at Write A Letter.)

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18 Responses to “Limerick Odes To Charlie Sheen”

  1. Nanka says:

    That was good entertaining and fun media humor!! Love the way you do it :)

  2. Laurie Kolp says:

    Dear Charlie, you’re out of control
    Pointing fingers and throwing coal.
    Get off your high horse,
    Stop fighting off course;
    Don’t you know you’re lost in a hole?

  3. Lisa says:

    Oh I LOVE those limericks. They made me giggle this morning. I’m telling you that man has lost what few marbles he had left. YIKES! Thanks for sharing.

  4. jesse levy says:

    Dear Charlie, it’s time to kneel down
    and stop acting out like a clown
    Now give up the drugs
    Put your knees on the rugs
    and chant that in fact you don’t drown.

  5. hansi says:

    No limerick response cause i guess ol’ Charlie hit a raw nerve. Mr Sheen reportedly gets a million plus per episode of ‘Men”. For basically doing nothing more than acting like an asshole (sorry for the language, but A- hole best describes it). Now he’s going down in flames, and really acting like a , you know what, and he’s not getting paid for it. How sweet the irony.

  6. Hansi may have come up short, but here’s a little verse on Mr Sheen:

    Charlie baby, you’ve got to get wise
    We can live without you, and your 2 1/2 guys.
    Your life has truly become a mess
    Ah, being rich and famous, is too much stress.
    But here’s one you can try on for size,
    You’re just a Lindsey Lohan, but in disguise.

  7. Mama Zen says:

    Isn’t he crazy? Great limericks!

  8. Poor Charlie Sheen. He’s like a Xerox copy of Robert Downey, Jr. meets Sean Penn in the Madonna years…

    Both limericks were excellent. I do pray he gets some help, too.


  9. JTS says:

    Absolutely brilliant… and totally funny, right on target! :-)

  10. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your lovely compliments and fun verse!

  11. Versebender says:

    Charlie gets his just desserts…funny stuff. Vb

  12. madkane says:

    Thanks Versebender!

  13. Daisy Mae says:

    Whoops! I have had internet issues sporadically these past two weeks, and didn’t see this- (and entered the latest limerick-off without having read these!) *sigh* I’m two beats behind! (But I am happy I also made a play on the last name- Makes me feel like my mind isn’t too far gone!)

    These are great! I’ll try to stay current! VERY funny and on target! :-)

  14. madkane says:

    LOL! No problem, Daisy, I enjoyed your take. Thanks!

  15. W.M. Dawes says:

    Charlie Sheen says he’s all about “Winning.”
    No remorse for all his flagrant sinning.
    He once showed such promise;
    With DNA from Adonis.
    Now his many detractors are grinning.

  16. madkane says:

    I enjoyed your limerick, W.M. Dawes!

  17. W.M. Dawes says:

    Thanks very much! I have lots of other limericks on my blog: Lusty Limericks Would love to hear your comments (and those of your readers as well)!

  18. madkane says:

    W.M. Your limericks are excellent, though clearly not for the prudish or faint of heart. :)