Archive for November, 2011

Spent Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow whose last dime was spent…

or

A woman whose last dime was spent…

Here’s mine:

Spent Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow whose last dime was spent
On a gal below age of consent
Did nothing illicit,
Though mom was complicit:
‘Twas a “sweet sixteen” birthday event.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (37)

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to ROBERT SCHECHTER who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:

A man was attempting to eat
A taco he bought on the street.
He’s someone I follow
On Twitter. Each swallow
Was widely proclaimed in a tweet.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order): David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Johanna Richmond, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, and Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:

A man was attempting to eat
At Le Restaurant Jean B. Lafitte,
But his face became pallid
When part of the salad
Got up and walked off on six feet.

Johanna Richmond:

A man was attempting to eat
When his wife hollered out, “Trick or treat!”
It was then he took note
She held open her tote,
So he thoughtfully offered his meat.

David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves:

A gal was attempting to eat
A length of spaghetti – six feet;
She forgot that to coil it
She’d first have to boil it,
Now she’s had to move up from petite.

Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:

A fellow was trying to eat
Things acquired from a bet. He’d been beat!
They divided a cow.
The lost bet explains how
She got steaks, he got teats and de feet.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

Dear Merchants (Limerick)

Friday, November 25th, 2011

Dear Merchants (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s Black Friday — you want us to shop,
To spend all of our money, non-stop.
But I won’t spend a dime
Cuz I’d rather spend time
Writing rhymes I could trade. Care to swap?

Edible Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, November 20th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man was attempting to eat…

or

A gal was attempting to eat…

Here’s mine, which I hope doesn’t describe your Thanksgiving dinner:

Edible Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man was attempting to eat
When he spotted a mouse near his seat.
So he smashed down his foot,
And the mouse went kaput,
As his kid cried, “You killed little Pete!”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (36)

Sunday, November 20th, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:

A woman who went through a phase
Was weary of men and their ways.
“I’m sick of the brawling
And please! No more mauling.
I’m done shopping sales with these gays.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Karin Gustafson a/k/a Manicddaily, Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes, Johanna Richmond, Pari Cooper, Kathy El-Assal, and Matt Monitto. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Karin Gustafson a/k/a Manicddaily

A woman who went through a phase
Took all her old light bulbs to graze.
She was terribly keen
To make them “go green,”
But had a dim grasp of the phrase.

Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes :

A woman who went through a phase
Of enjoying the masculine gaze,
Decided to tease,
Threw off her chemise,
And walked through the town in her stays!

Johanna Richmond:

A fellow who went through a phase
Of responding as if in a daze
Said, “There’s lots up there twirling
With notes I’ve been squirr’ling.
I suffer from catch-phrase malaise!”

Pari Cooper:

A woman was deep in a phase,
Of lim’ricking all through her days
Ev’ry night and each morn,
(if she didn’t view porn)
She was posting a new MadKane phrase.

Kathy El-Assal:

A woman who went through a phase
Of hogging the spotlight and praise
Took a walk down the aisle
Dressed in haute couture style
For a marriage that lasted mere days.

Matt Monitto:

A woman who went through a phase
Would go hunting for sales. ‘Twas a craze:
There was fire in her eyes
When the prices would rise,
And she’d occupy Macy’s for days.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

Limerick Phase (Limerick-Off Monday)

Monday, November 14th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s
last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who went through a phase…

or

A woman who went through a phase…

Here’s mine:

Limerick Phase
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who went through a phase
Of using a ton of clichés
Would talk up a storm
And refused to reform,
As he babbled each over-used phrase.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (35)

Monday, November 14th, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to BRUCE NIEDT who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A fellow was famous worldwide
For solving the odd homicide.
When his friend asked, “What schools
gave you such helpful tools?”
“Element’ry, dear Watson!” he cried.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Ira Bloom, Madeleine Sara Maddocks, Johanna Richmond, Robert Basler, and Daisy Mae Simon. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Ira Bloom:

A woman was famous worldwide,
But for what, it is hard to decide.
Having sex on the web?
As a partying deb?
I don’t know, but she’s fun to deride.

Madeleine Sara Maddocks:

A fellow was famous worldwide
For being incredibly wide.
When his doctor said “No!
All this blubber must go,”
He considered his options were fried.

Johanna Richmond:

A fellow was famous worldwide
Because often he publicly cried.
But astute folks took note:
His emotional bloat
Expressed only his oversized pride.

Robert Basler:

A fellow was famous worldwide
For marketing fruit that was dried.
Folks loved that his prunes
Didn’t need any spoons
Yet they still did the same thing inside.

Daisy Mae Simon:

A woman once famous worldwide.
Welcomed all to New York’s harbor side:
“…Your tired, your poor…”
Now meet a closed door.
Corporate greed and corruption preside.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

Worldwide Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Saturday, November 5th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was famous worldwide…

or

A woman was famous worldwide…

Here’s mine:

Worldwide Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was famous worldwide:
His two wives had suspiciously died,
And wife number three,
Catching on to his spree,
Turned him in. Now he’s fit to be tried.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (34)

Saturday, November 5th, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. (I’m a bit early this time because I’m not sure if I’ll have any Internet access Sunday.) I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to BRUCE NIEDT who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:

A fellow who just let it slip –
“I’m the captain on this ocean trip!” –
Caught the ear of a minx,
So that if the boat sinks,
You might say she’ll go down with the ship!

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Robert Schechter, and Madeleine Sara Maddocks. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A woman who just let it slip
To her boyfriend that she used to strip.
Heard him shout ,”How’d you dare
Dance and lay it all bare
When for me you won’t even unzip!”

Robert Schechter:

A fellow who just let it slip
That the moyel took too big a snip,
Said, “Now my son Earl
Is my dear daughter, Pearl.
That does it! The man blew his tip.”

Madeleine Sara Maddocks:

A fellow who just let it slip
That he liked nothing more than to strip
Was arrested one day
With his parts on display
When he failed to remember his zip.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.