Posts Tagged ‘Brenda Bryant’

Limerick of the Week (141)

Sunday, November 24th, 2013

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Chris Doyle, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

If you’re tired at the wheel, I suggest
That you stop at a trooper’s behest.
And if ordered to nap,
Don’t refuse, because . . . zap!
You’ll be tased for resisting a rest.

Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

I know I just said, not in jest,
That I planned to give lim’ricks a rest,
But that promise won’t mute me:
I’m back! OK, shoot me—
I’m wearing my bullet-proof vest.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) John Lawrence Ramos, Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes, Chris Doyle, Steve Whitred, Johanna Richmond, and Craig Dykstra. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

John Lawrence Ramos:

At the diner, a man would ingest
His romaine without pants, shirt or vest;
When the waitress looked pained,
He politely explained
He preferred his green salad undressed.

Brenda Bryant:

A woman was speaking in jest
When she said, “All my sins are confessed.”
She’d forgotten a few.
That’s what girls tend to do
When their past simply can’t pass the test.

Chris Doyle:

A beekeeper tells me in jest
That he plans, when he’s laid to his rest,
To give all that he owns
To his Queen and her drones,
Thus completing his final bee-quest.

Steve Whitred:

I once knew a girl who’d suggest
She was better in bed than the rest.
I said “Don’t mean to boast,
But I’m better than most.
We should challenge ourselves to a test!”

Johanna Richmond:

Don’t you hate it when folks say,”I jest!”
After putting your pride to the test?
Hell, “I Jest!” just won’t do
When “How was it for you?”
Is rejoined by “You looked better dressed!”

Craig:

My gal went out joggin’ but jest
Wasn’t close to approprit’ly dressed.
Guys would run along side her
As soon as they spied her—
‘Cause her top failed at keepin’ abreast.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (85)

Sunday, October 28th, 2012

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A woman would frequently pose
In very undignified clothes.
On her feet she wore spats,
On her head she wore hats,
And the parts in between simply froze.

Congratulations to Colleen Murphy, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

The nudists would frequently pose
In group shots without any clothes.
But the photos they’d crop,
Leave the waist to the top
To hide any parts that arose.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Johanna Richmond, Craig Dykstra, Scott Crowder, Phyllis Reinhard, Jazzbumpa, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, and Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Johanna Richmond:

It was feared an art teacher might pose
A threat to her junior van Goghs
When she cried out, “Alright,
One more bad Starry Night
And I’ll cut off your ear AND your nose!”

Craig Dykstra:

So this model is striking a pose.
How she holds so still, God only knows.
Never moving an inch
So I gave her a pinch …
And found out we’re in Madame Tussaud’s.

Scott Crowder:

A fellow would frequently pose,
For wifey, without any clothes.
And to make him look hung,
As when he was young,
She’d zoom in as far as it goes.

Phyllis Reinhard:

Sweet Gertrude would frequently pose
A question — what’s verse and what’s prose?
She lifted her Stein
And declared both were fine,
Since “a rose is a rose is a rose.”

JazzBumpa:

A woman would frequently pose
At my studio, sans all her clothes.
I quite liked the view;
When the painting was through
We discussed the first thing that arose.

David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:

Some Democrats wanted to pose
As the One Percent’s populist foes,
Until revelations
That all their donations
Were siphoned from rich CEOs.

Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:

A mermaid would frequently pose
On a rock. In the winter, she froze.
“They think it is chipper
That I have a flipper.
I would rather have toes and warm clothes!”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (57)

Sunday, April 15th, 2012

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Johanna Richmond who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A fellow was starting to snap
His fingers and point to his lap,
When his wife snarled, “You lech,
If you want me to fetch
Like a dog, give me more than that scrap!”

Congratulations to Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A fellow was taking a snap
Of a lady who’d had a mishap.
Something really quite drastic
Had snapped her elastic!
No wonder his face got a slap!

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Robert Basler, Scott Crowder, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Elaine Spall. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:

A fellow was trying to snap
The brim of his stylish golf cap.
When a gust made it fly,
“Oh, I’m glad,” said the guy,
“That the cap and not me hit the trap,”

Robert Basler:

A fellow was starting to snap.
He did not want to get a bad rap.
He was racking his brain!
Would Madeleine Kane
Allow him to use the word crap?

Scott Crowder:

A woman was starting to snap:
The corkscrew was working like crap.
Then hubby came in,
And said with a grin,
“Honey, just twist off the cap.”

David McCormick:

A dachshund was starting to snap
At the cheese in a loaded mousetrap,
When the spring went ‘KAPOW!’
And that, friends, is how
The pug first appeared on the map!

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A woman was starting to snap.
Her boss had his hand in her lap.
As his fingers progressed
She felt really hard-pressed
To play ball or get sacked by this chap.

Elaine Spall:

A woman was starting to snap
‘Cause she just could not undo the strap:
“Sure, it gives a nice shape
But my ‘girls’ can’t escape.
This new bra, should be called ‘Booby Trap'”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (45)

Sunday, January 22nd, 2012

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to JOHANNA RICHMOND who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever two-verse limerick:

A fellow was trying to hide
His nature (mean, callous and snide),
But it’s hard to shrug off
With a wink and a scoff
What he did to his number two bride.

So the newt did what Newt does so well:
Told his critics to all go to hell.
With a blood-thirsty base,
Best grow fangs to save face.
Can you hear Willard Romney’s death knell?

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jason Talbott, Gordon Richmond, Scott Crowder, Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes, and Elaine Spall. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Jason Talbott:

A fellow was trying to hide
Some cash that he earned on the side
As a writer of fiction.
His craft caused conviction–
When he filled out his taxes, he lied.

Gordon Richmond:

A fellow was trying to hide
His “size” from the young, pretty bride,
But soon she’d discover,
Once under the cover,
She’s in for a very short ride.

Scott Crowder:

A woman was trying to hide
The fact that her hair had been dyed.
But the truth would come out
And leave not a doubt
When the gal wore a swim thong poolside.

Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes:

A fellow was trying to hide
From his overly amorous bride.
He said “Wait a bit!
It’s time to admit
I got sea-sick the last time I tried!”

Elaine Spall:

A fellow was trying to hide
From six women, each claimed was his bride
When his half dozen wives
Set upon him with knives.
“Rest In Pieces” was scribed when he died.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

Limerick of the Week (43)

Sunday, January 8th, 2012

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to GORDON RICHMOND who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:

As the new year approaches, men swear
They will aim for the toilet with care,
But the subject in hand
May ignore the command
And reroute its direction mid-air.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Robert Basler, Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes, Robert Schechter, Madeleine Sara Maddocks, Johanna Richmond, and Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Robert Basler:

As the new year approaches, men swear
They will read all the works of Flaubert.
But soon, it’s “Hey, Mabel!
“This channel on cable
“Shows reruns of ‘Sonny and Cher!’”

Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes:

As the New Year approaches men swear
That they’ll have a real hot love-affair.
But the girls that they meet
In the bar, on the street,
Say “We’re sorry! Your cupboard is bare!”

Robert Schechter:

As the new year approaches, men swear
To rise from their sofa or chair
And move their fat asses.
The impulse soon passes,
Replaced by a staunch laissez faire.

Madeleine Sara Maddocks:

As the new year approaches, men swear
To dispose of their old underwear,
As their grubby old briefs
Rouse disparaging shrieks
From the gals they invite to their lair.

Johanna Richmond:

As the new year approaches, men swear:
No more meat or at least none cooked rare;
Why have twelve beers when six
Is an adequate fix?
As for porn, only followed by prayer!

Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:

As the New Year approaches, gals swear
That they MUST buy some NEW clothes to wear.
But each husband still clings
To his old worn-out things:
“You can NOT throw them out. Don’t you dare!”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

Limerick of the Week (36)

Sunday, November 20th, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:

A woman who went through a phase
Was weary of men and their ways.
“I’m sick of the brawling
And please! No more mauling.
I’m done shopping sales with these gays.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Karin Gustafson a/k/a Manicddaily, Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes, Johanna Richmond, Pari Cooper, Kathy El-Assal, and Matt Monitto. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Karin Gustafson a/k/a Manicddaily

A woman who went through a phase
Took all her old light bulbs to graze.
She was terribly keen
To make them “go green,”
But had a dim grasp of the phrase.

Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes :

A woman who went through a phase
Of enjoying the masculine gaze,
Decided to tease,
Threw off her chemise,
And walked through the town in her stays!

Johanna Richmond:

A fellow who went through a phase
Of responding as if in a daze
Said, “There’s lots up there twirling
With notes I’ve been squirr’ling.
I suffer from catch-phrase malaise!”

Pari Cooper:

A woman was deep in a phase,
Of lim’ricking all through her days
Ev’ry night and each morn,
(if she didn’t view porn)
She was posting a new MadKane phrase.

Kathy El-Assal:

A woman who went through a phase
Of hogging the spotlight and praise
Took a walk down the aisle
Dressed in haute couture style
For a marriage that lasted mere days.

Matt Monitto:

A woman who went through a phase
Would go hunting for sales. ‘Twas a craze:
There was fire in her eyes
When the prices would rise,
And she’d occupy Macy’s for days.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

Limerick of the Week (18)

Saturday, July 16th, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to RJ CLARKEN who wins Limerick of the Week for this very clever verse:

A girl who was lovely and fair
Got a job as a family’s au pair.
She gave birth to a child
of the “Gov”, now reviled.
“He’ll be back” though, so please don’t despair.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Scott Crowder, Johanna Richmond, and Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Scott Crowder:

A gal who was lovely and fair
Had strawberry scent in her hair,
And nice melons to boot,
A real passion fruit,
But now she is shaped like a pear.

Johanna Richmond:

A gal who was lovely and fair
Drew men who felt licensed to stare.
So she carried a sign
That read “My body’s MINE —
Show respect or risk hospital care!”

Brenda Byant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes:

A gal who was lovely and fair
Went around with her top-half all bare.
She was grabbed by police
Who said “This stunt must cease!
You really should grow longer hair.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

Limerick of the Week (15)

Sunday, June 26th, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to BRENDA BRYANT a/k/a Rinkly Rimes who wins Limerick of the Week for this very amusing verse:

A gal who could never say no
Said ‘Come on! Don’t be shy, Romeo!’
She was eager to please
Even on a trapeze!
Which was great for the folk down below!

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Johanna Richmond, Scott Crowder, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, and Vivienne Blake. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Johanna Richmond:

A man who could never say no
Frenetically dashed to and fro;
With a mistress and wife
He had double the strife
Kissing two butts – a tough row to hoe.

Scott Crowder:

A man who could never say no
To pork chops and raw cookie dough,
Made me whisper “Oh, Lord,”
When he wobbled on board,
“I hope he don’t sit in my row.”

David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:

A man who could never say no
To the urges that came from below
Was finally defeated,
When thousands retweeted
His self-composed, solo tableau.

Vivienne Blake:

A gal who could never say no
Married ten at a time, dontcha know.
Polyandry her crime,
She had to do time.
It was worth it, she loved ‘em all so.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

Limerick of the Week (12)

Sunday, June 5th, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the four Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to DAISY MAE SIMON who wins Limerick of the Week for this amusingly clever two-verse limerick:

A fellow was in a bad mood
When his girlfriend, he learned, was a prude.
As he tried to seduce her
She said “That’s ABUSE, sir!
Stop letting your penis protrude!”

Second thoughts changed her mind and her mood.
She’d really not meant to be rude.
After all, he was cute.
He had quite a salute.
But too late, he’d been verbally screwed.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes, VerseBender, Elaine Spall, and Martin T. Hodges. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes:

A fellow was in a bad mood;
He had swallowed a fly with his food.
As he coughed and he spluttered
Those nearest him muttered
“Those noises are terribly rude!”

VerseBender:

A fellow was in a bad mood
As he lay there distraught in the nude.
Other women had said
He was worthless in bed,
But this was the first time one booed.

Elaine Spall:

A woman was in a bad mood
Cause she couldn’t stop thinking of food.
Then she said “Better try it…
This new sticky diet…”
And painfully had her lips glued.

Martin T. Hodges:

A fellow was in a bad mood
After seeing himself in the nude.
He was down in the mouth
As his eyes travelled south
Where the length of his age could be viewed.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.