A Plateful Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal with a very full plate…*

or

A man with a very full plate…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

A Plateful Of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal with a very full plate
Was planning to cancel a date.
But the fellow’s insistence
Met little resistance:
The allure of good food was too great.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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54 Responses to “A Plateful Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Chuck Warn says:

    A man with a very full plate
    Tried hiding from his fitness freak mate.
    She spied him wolfing deviled eggs
    With fried chicken wings and legs;
    Until she could see him gain weight.

  2. A man with a very full plate
    Leaned over and said to his date,
    “Do you want all your fries?”
    His date rolled her eyes
    And she left, leaving fries (which he ate).

  3. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A man with a very full plate,
    Was so hungry he just couldn’t wait!
    He tossed off the lot
    But the food was so hot
    He simply could not masticate!
    *

  4. A man with a very full plate,
    Couldn’t find time to masturba**
    The guy said, “It’s scary! My palms are less hairy!”
    “And my eyesight is suddenly great!”

  5. Bruce Niedt says:

    A man with a very full plate,
    said, “I only have time to speed-date!”
    But the gals who were in it
    had him pegged in a minute
    as a sleazy, no-good reprobate.

  6. Jim Delaney says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    Had been looking around for a mate.
    When attempts at romance
    Got more dinner than dance,
    She abandoned herself to her fate.

  7. Brion Emde says:

    A man with a very full plate
    Found he was typically late
    He’d just be arriving
    Away they’d be driving
    So ended all of his dates

  8. Pat Hatt says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    Began to fill with hate
    As in her view
    Came some lobster stew
    For all she could afford was the bait

  9. scott says:

    A man with a very full plate,
    is a real easy Captain to hate.
    He claims that a trip,
    knocked him off of the ship,
    and he fell where the life boats did wait.

  10. Johanna Richmond says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    Explained it: “I’m eating for eight,
    Sixteen if you’re counting…”
    (The numbers were mounting),
    Sybil just can’t get past the first date.

  11. A man with a very full plate…
    And a big spending gal as his mate…
    Says food stamps are for the lazy…
    And all who disagree are crazy…
    But his Benny Hill resemblance is first rate.

  12. Errol Nimbly says:

    A nymphet with a personal plate
    Would slow down and cause traffic to wait.
    As men drove up behind her
    They read this reminder:
    IALWZGVHEDWNID8

  13. scott says:

    A gal with a very full plate,
    needed to regurgitate.
    And out of her mouth,
    flew up-Chuck and Ralph.
    It must have been someone she ate.

  14. Kathleen Cole says:

    Origin of The Brazilian
    A gal with a very full plate,
    Of calories, she’d a spate.
    Her bum, it grew round,
    Admired and renowned.
    Her ass in Brazil they would emulate!

  15. jesse levy says:

    A man with a very full plate
    was upset ’cause his dentures weren’t great
    Too much in his mouth
    made his speech all go south
    His dentist just wasn’t first-rate.

  16. Versebender says:

    A man with a very full plate
    Had no time to look for a mate
    So he ordered online
    A companion divine
    That all he need do is inflate

  17. Rachel says:

    A Limerick for Paula Deen

    A gal with a very full plate
    Knew she would have to endure hate
    For making us fat
    And then after that
    Selling drugs that reverse our sad fate.

    Visit my blog post to read the latest news on Paula Deen. :)

  18. A gal with a very full plate
    Tectonically just couldnt bear the weight.
    When she started to shift
    She caused the Atlantic drift
    Thus forming the Icelandic state.

  19. Terri Brewer says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    sat down to hear the debate
    before eating she had begun
    the debate was over and done
    telling people to exit the gate!

  20. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    A man with a very full plate
    of billion$ he’d never abate
    Tax returns? Nope. Resistance.
    A BAIN of existence
    There’s more? Yes, Mitt’s known for ‘Crate Gate!’

    Dogs Against Romney

  21. David Schrimpf says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    Wondered why she had gained so much weight
    All the burgers and fries
    Went straight to her thighs
    Exercise was not in her fate.

  22. Mama Zen says:

    Wonderful limerick!

  23. A man with a very full plate
    Had problems with his lithographate
    He said “I’m fine with my etching,
    my painting, my sketching,
    But maybe my inks are too rich in nitrate”.

  24. Veralynne says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    Found others less busy to berate
    But it was she, when not busy,
    Who’d almost get dizzy
    When forced on herself to concentrate.

    She couldn’t stand being alone
    With herself, so she’d pick up the phone
    Finding those she’d berated
    Having fun with folks they related–
    She wished someone’d throw her a bone.

    “Busyness” can be just running away
    From issues that drive one astray.
    Take “you” down from the shelf
    And have fun with yourself!
    You might enjoy a relaxing new day.

  25. J Sardo says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    Scheduled two guys for a date
    In her confusion
    She found it amusin’
    And said “What the hell” this is great.

    A man with a very full plate
    Just ate and ate and ate
    When he got on a scale
    He weighed in as a whale
    And set a record for maritime weight.

  26. John Larkin says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    forgot she was quite overweight.
    If her eating she’d freeze
    she might again see her knees
    and avoid a most terrible fate.

  27. Thomas says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    sat at the table full of hate
    I know what she had
    and that’s really bad
    tex-mex never tastes great

  28. brian miller says:

    a guy with a very full plate
    tried to fit in a hot date
    when he n’er showed
    off she blowed
    and he his calendar did hate

  29. a guy with a very full plate
    in fact the food tasted quite bad
    and he searched for a bin
    to fit it all in
    to make it in time for his date

  30. A girl with a very full plate
    Arrived out of breath for her date
    Juggling three men
    She didn’t know when
    It happened, but now she was late

  31. tashtoo says:

    A girl with a very full plate
    had hips that would swing with a gait
    Try as she may
    They won’t wither away
    So she got caught up in a rage of self-hate

  32. hedgewitch says:

    A man with a very full plate
    had meetings from dawn until eight
    till he he put an assistant
    in charge of each instant
    and said ‘That’s how to delegate!’

  33. Patricia says:

    A Gated Limerick

    a gal with a very full plate
    decided to leave love to fate
    she had a ten year plan
    and a sexy pool-man
    at her house on the hill upstate

  34. zongrik says:

    A man with a very full plate
    did not know the current tax rate.
    When he saw his new bracket,
    he made quite a racket
    and filed his 1040 quite late.

  35. A gal with a very full plate
    Said, “Let me work, you slow ingrate
    I shan’t be dallied
    Cajoled or rallied
    Two tickets to Tahiti? Well….WAIT!”

  36. These are enchanting!! What fun. I’m completely incapable of thinking of anything at the moment, but I love everything here.

  37. RJ Clarken says:

    A guy with a very full plate
    of ex-wives was well-known to relate
    that forgiveness was his
    since he’s all for the biz
    of winning the next big debate.

  38. RJ Clarken says:

    A guy with a very full plate
    consumed every bit, when he ate
    six chickens with rice
    but he nixed any spice,
    “’Cause I’m trying,” he said, “to lose weight.”

  39. RJ Clarken says:

    A guy with a very full plate
    and an equally naked, bald pate
    said, “My bowl’s where it’s at.
    When food’s gone, it’s a hat.
    Those with hair simply cannot relate.

  40. A man with a very full plate
    Ignored the allure of his date.
    “The main course is divine,
    Then there’s cake, cheese and wine;
    The entree will just have to wait.”

  41. Sara McNulty says:

    A man with a very full plate
    Always took more than he ate.
    He liked his plate hearty
    And after each party
    he’d go home needing bicarbonate.

  42. Mark Megson says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    Amazed men by how much she ate
    While her figure stayed thin
    Her men didn’t grin
    When she showed them the bill for their date.

    A man with a very full plate
    Had a long internal debate
    To eat his wife’s cooking – scary
    Or fake an illness – coronary
    Hospital food by comparison looked great.

  43. Errol Nimbly says:

    Please replace with this latest revision. Thx.

    A nymphet with a personal plate
    Would slow down and cause traffic to wait.
    As men drove up behind her
    They read this reminder:
    IALWZGVHEDWNID8

    (Note from Mad Kane: Done.)

  44. De Jackson says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    (much juggling and struggling, of late)
    tossed caution to wind
    (and her cookies, again)
    ate her words – now her poems have weight.

  45. Gordon Richmond says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    Was alarmed when she lost so much weight.
    Misjudging the mission,
    Her green obstetrician
    Had erred when he set the launch date.

  46. Granny Smith says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    Of spaghetti to throw at her mate,
    Though still filled with ire,
    Took aim – didn’t fire!
    “It’s a waste of good food concentrate!”

  47. Granny Smith says:

    A guy with a very full plate
    Of armor, oppressed by the weight
    Said “My POOR horse is sagging,
    And I think she is nagging:
    ‘Get back to the stable! It’s late!’ “

  48. Johanna Richmond says:

    Bachman’s man has a very full plate,
    What with legions of gays to set straight. . .
    But his “pray away” swagger,
    Suggests the old wagger
    May have tried out the rear pearly gate.

  49. Madeleine says:

    A gal with a very full plate
    Spoke in tones that were very irate.
    “This meal is too large
    I will look like a barge”
    Pray give half of this meal to my mate.

  50. Mark Kane says:

    A man with a very full plate
    Of skeletons in each debate,
    Tried to run from his history,
    And leave it a mystery.
    Newt would rather just play act irate!

  51. Mark Kane says:

    A man with a very full plate
    Of damsels in need, so they’d wait
    To share their sweet honey,
    While enjoying his money.
    I guess it just comes down to bait.

  52. A gal with a very full plate
    Went out on her very first date,
    But with ten minutes gone
    It was time to move on,
    So she jilted her dumbfounded mate.

  53. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A prince with a very full plate
    Was too harried to hunt for a mate.
    “My best chance for romance
    Is to hold a grand dance
    And abandon myself to my fête.”

    With a nod to Jim Delaney…for everything!

  54. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week winner and the Honorable Mention winners: Limerick of the Week 46.

    But there’s still lots of limerick fun to be had. A new Limerick-Off has already begun: Leading With Limericks.