Archive for the ‘Music Humor & Verse’ Category

My Two Cents About The Voice (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

My Two Cents About The Voice
By Madeleine Begun Kane

On the Voice my fav entrants are out.
It’s Sasha and Amber I’d tout.
Danielle doesn’t phrase,
Yet they keep heaping praise.
I just hope it’s Michelle in a rout.

Musical Fictoids

Thursday, April 25th, 2013

One month ago, The Washington Post Style Invitational challenged us to create “fictoids — totally bogus trivia — about music and the music world.” Having worked as an oboist for many years, I couldn’t possibly resist such a contest. So I’m posting all my entries, one of which earned an Honorable Mention.

I’m curious as to which of mine is your favorite. And of course feel free to make up your own musical trivia in my comment section, and to guess which of my musical fictoids won that Honorable Mention. (I reveal my winning fictoid at the end of this post — upside down to make it harder to cheat. :)

Here are my entries:

  • Greedy J.S. Bach descendants tried to patent his Two and Three-Part Inventions.
  • Antonio Vivaldi once sued himself for plagiarism … and won.
  • Ludwig van Beethoven’s “Ode To Joy” (from his Symphony No. 9) was originally entitled “Oy, Oy, Oy.”
  • The world premiere of Verdi’s “Aida” ended in tragedy when the lead soprano accidentally crushed an elephant to death.
  • Female harp players are so loathsome, that shrewish women are now referred to as harpies.
  • For several years during George W. Bush’s presidency, the Dallas Symphony’s concert programs id’ed its brass section as trumpets, trombones, tubas, and Texas shorthorns.
  • Composers George Frideric Handel, Georg Philipp Telemann, Antonio Vivaldi and Johann Sebastian Bach were all so impoverished, they died of starvation. Hence, the name “Baroque composers.”
  • Famed French flautist Jean-Pierre Rampal never appeared on stage without a chilled glass of champagne. That’s why flautists are now known as flutists.
  • Ludwig van Beethoven didn’t actually go deaf; he just pretended to be deaf because his wife and mother-in-law were so annoying.
  • In a 1980 New York Philharmonic April Fools’ Day performance of Mozart’s Concerto for Flute and Harp, flutist Julius Baker and harpist Ursula Holliger played each other’s instruments. The New York Times proclaimed theirs the best ever performance of the work.
  • The Eastman School of Music was known as the Polaroid School of Music, until Kodak’s George Eastman won it in poker game.

And my Honorable Mention-winning entry is:

˙ɥʇɐǝp oʇ ʇuɐɥdǝןǝ uɐ pǝɥsnɹɔ ʎןןɐʇuǝpıɔɔɐ ouɐɹdos pɐǝן ǝɥʇ uǝɥʍ ʎpǝƃɐɹʇ uı pǝpuǝ ”ɐpıɐ“ s’ıpɹǝʌ ɟo ǝɹǝıɯǝɹd pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ

Limerick Ode To Karaoke

Monday, April 22nd, 2013

Karaoke isn’t my thing because my singing voice is lousy. (Alas, there’s no connection between being able to play the oboe and having a dulcet singing voice.)

But since it’s National Karaoke Week (celebrated each year during the 4th week of April) I couldn’t resist posting this silly limerick:

Limerick Ode To Karaoke
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are people whose singing is croaky.
Some are pitchy — too high or too low-key.
But no matter your voice,
Almost all can rejoice
In this musical fun: Karaoke.

Hashtag Madness (Limerick)

Monday, April 8th, 2013

Please relax Cher fans — Cher is still alive:

Legions of Twitter users were fooled into thinking the pop singer had passed after people began posting about late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher under the hashtag #nowthatcherisdead.

Hashtag Madness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Nowthatcherisdead” — hashtag blur
Has created one hell of a stir:
Dear fans of Ms. Cher,
Who’ve read “news” you can’t bear:
Cher’s alive. Thatcher’s dead. As you were!

Limerick Ode To Miserable Singing

Monday, February 25th, 2013

Many people were offended by Seth MacFarlane’s “Saw Your Boobs” at last night’s Oscars. But, at the risk of damaging my feminist cred, I’m not one of them.

Of course, I do understand the negative reaction. However, the song didn’t bother me because I viewed it as parody, rather than misogyny.

But what did bother me at the Oscars was everybody pretending that the Les Misérables cast can sing.

Limerick Ode To Miserable Singing
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are folks who appear up in arms:
For the “boob song,” they sound the alarms.
But to me, here’s what riled:
Dreadful singing gone wild
In Les Miz — kindly call les gendarmes.

Canned Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, February 3rd, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And since it’s Super Bowl Sunday, I’m offering you an alternative: In addition to your regular challenge, you may write a limerick related to the Super Bowl, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Super Bowl limerick.

And now, getting back to your regular Limerick-Off challenge: I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who’d been recently canned…*

or

A gal who’d been recently canned…*

or

A man who’d been served something canned…*

or

A gal who’d been served something canned…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Canned Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A pianist, quite recently canned,
Was promoting his newly-formed band.
But his bucks now are fewer:
He bribed a reviewer
Who wrote for one K, “This band’s grand!”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Curmudgeonly Limerick

Tuesday, December 18th, 2012

Curmudgeonly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A curmudgeon was in a foul mood –
Even worse than his usual tude.
So his concert review
Read in bold letters, “BOO!”
He was paid by the word … so not shrewd.

Urbane Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, December 2nd, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who was rather urbane…*

or

A gal who was rather urbane…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Urbane Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was rather urbane
Mocked pop culture as trite and inane.
He did it in song —
Twas a hit before long.
His disdainful refrain now makes rain.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A Sax Tale

Saturday, November 3rd, 2012

A Sax Tale
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A blowhard musician named Rand
Played sax (not too well) in a band.
He’d blow solos, yet boast.
Now he’s finally toast—
The leader, at last, took a stand.

Mucked Up Music (Limerick)

Monday, October 15th, 2012

I swear that this limerick is based on an actual news item: Artist makes music with bird droppings in Liverpool.

Mucked Up Music (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Just what is a person to do
When creative ideas are few?
If your muse flew the coop,
Here’s an int’resting scoop:
Compose music by using bird poo.

Trying Your Hand At Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, September 16th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was trying his hand …*

or

A woman was trying her hand …*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Trying Your Hand At Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A baker was trying his hand
At launching a rock and roll band.
He played the guitar,
And he hoped to go far.
But alas all his gig dates were panned.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Dear Conductor (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 15th, 2012

Three Word Wednesday asks us to use Beat, Pressure, and Substance in a poem. In substance, I’ve beaten them into submission, pressuring those words to fit into this limerick:

Dear Conductor (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear conductor, you think you’re elite,
But in substance, you’re always off beat.
You pressure musicians
With harsh admonitions.
To follow your stick’s no mean feat.

Macaronic Music (Limerick)

Thursday, July 26th, 2012

This is my second attempt at macaronic verse — a poem that mixes two languages in a humorous manner. While Latin is often the second language, this macaronic limerick uses musical terms:

Macaronic Music
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you fiddle around while I speak,
Then I’ll trumpet your lousy technique.
If you flaut me, beware!
Your bass secret will air —
Broken G string and all, horny freak!

(Poets United prompts us to writing something about sound.)

Limerick Ode To Donna Summer

Thursday, May 17th, 2012

To this day, Last Dance is one of my favorite songs to dance to. RIP Donna Summer!

Limerick Ode To Donna Summer
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Alas we have lost Donna Summer
And her beautiful voice. What a bummer!
She was Hot Stuff, the Queen
Of a musical scene,
Who’s Last Danced to her own disco drummer.

The Buglers (Acrostic Limerick)

Saturday, May 5th, 2012

What’s even more fun than writing limericks? Writing acrostic limericks:

The Buglers (Acrostic Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bells up in the air, buglers blare,
Raising rackets most ears can not bear,
And amazing, but true,
Stopping right on their cue.
So their vision, at least, is still there.

(Posted at the DVerse music prompt.)

Tone Deaf Limerick

Thursday, April 12th, 2012

Tone Deaf Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who crooned out of key
Did it loudly with pleasure and glee.
She believed she sang well,
Like a beautiful bell.
But “please stop,” was the usual plea.

(For Think Tank Thursday’s “key.”)

You can find much of my music humor here.

Note: Have you entered this week’s Limerick-Off? There’s always one to participate in 24/7.

Last-String Limerick

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012

In its latest Thursday Think Tank, Poets United prompts our muses with the word “strings.” It struck a chord with me, inspiring this limerick tale of an unstrung cellist:

Last-String Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“That conductor has strung me along,”
Said a cellist. “He’s doing me wrong.
He promised first chair,
But instead I’m nowhere:
Stuck in back, the last stand, near the gong.”

(Related Limericks: Musical Chairs; Musical Faux Pas; and Musical Discord.)

Limerick Degree (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, February 19th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who had a degree…*

or

A woman who had a degree…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Degree
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who had a degree
In law, yes, the dreaded JD,
Found the market dried up,
So he sang for his sup
On a ship after going to sea.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

CD Review: Mark Westin’s Dark Humour

Saturday, January 28th, 2012

If you enjoy funny song lyrics, you need to give Mark Westin’s latest album a listen. Dark Humour is packed with songs whose cleverness is the envy of humorists like me.

I, for one, can’t resist titles like Narcissistic As Me, Open Mike, When Beautiful People Break Up, and this soon to be classic Falling In Love On Facebook.

In fact, Falling In Love On Facebook was the song that made me fall in love with Mark Westin’s lyrics: A couple of years ago I heard Westin perform it live at one of his regular performance venues: Whistling Willie’s, an excellent restaurant in Cold Spring, New York.

So check it out — you’ll love the lyrics. Besides, Mark Westin plays a mean guitar.

Birthday Limerick For Franz Liszt

Saturday, October 22nd, 2011

Today, October 22, is the birthday of the Hungarian virtuoso pianist/composer/conductor Franz Liszt. Some people consider Liszt to be the world’s first rock star.

Birthday Limerick For Franz Liszt
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The pianist/composer named Liszt
Was as hot as the cancan and twist:
Caused a Beatle-like heat—
Gals would swoon from his beat
And the sounds he produced with each wrist.