Today’s “National Absurdity Day,” though I can’t imagine why.
To “Absurdity Day,” I say NAY!
Cuz the NON-absurd’s faded away.
The inane seems to reign,
And the world’s gone insane.
“Use Your Brain,” though, deserves its own day!
Posts Tagged ‘Odd Holidays’
“Absurdity Day” Seems Absurd (Limerick)
Sunday, November 20th, 2022Fridge Madness (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 15th, 2022I had some internal rhyme fun with this limerick. (Happy “National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day!”)
When a woman attempted to cram
Her fridge with an over-sized ham,
Plus some lamb, SPAM, and yams,
Sev’ral jam jars and clams,
The door jammed on her very first slam.
Grand Shopping Plans (Limerick)
Monday, November 7th, 2022When I priced grand pianos today,
I heard quotes, grandiose, with dismay.
They cost too many grand,
And my right and left hand
Lack the cash to buy keyboard cachet.
*****
Happy World Pianist Day! (November 8)
Sax Day Blues
Sunday, November 6th, 2022A limerick in honor of National Saxophone Day:
A fellow was feeling distressed;
He was restless and NOT at his best.
So he pulled out his axe
And at midnight played sax.
As house-guests go, THAT guy’s a pest!
Donut Daze (Limerick)
Saturday, November 5th, 2022A fresh donut was found in the grass,
Not yet fettered by insects en masse.
Who’d abandon a tasty
Sweet treat? Seems a hasty
Retreat must have caused this to pass.
The Colorful Artist (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 25th, 2022An artist named Hugh would imbue
All his paintings with one fav’rite hue:
Mostly teal with a touch
Of turquoise and such.
Mocked at first, fame came out of the blue.
*****
Happy “International Artists Day!” (Celebrated each year on October 25)
A Knotty Problem (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 18th, 2022This limerick is a very compressed version of a necktie adventure with hubby Mark. And I can’t think of a better way to celebrate “International Necktie Day.”
“You MUST wear a necktie to enter,”
Mark was told. He’s a necktie dissenter,
But he re-tied his tie
Till our drinks were dropped by,
Then removed it — my waitress tormenter.
Celebrating Pasta (Limerick)
Monday, October 17th, 2022“I’ve a hunch you had pasta for brunch.
There are stains on your clothing — a bunch.
And they’ll never come out;
Of that fact there’s no doubt.
You should learn not to leak when you lunch.”
*****
Happy National Pasta Day! (October 17)
The Key To Getting Along (Limerick)
Monday, October 17th, 2022My new boss and I get along well.
What’s our secret? We both never tell
One another our views
On religion and news.
(I suspect, though, he’s going to hell.)
*****
Happy National Boss Day!
It’s “National Dictionary Day!” (Limerick)
Sunday, October 16th, 2022It’s “National Dictionary Day,” which gives me a good excuse to post a limerick about another new-to-me term: “Dawn Chorus.”
(For the record, all the names have been changed to protect the guilty.)
“Let’s go back to that lovely ‘Fowl Inn,’”
Said my spouse, quite forgetting its din.
’Twas no use telling Boris
(A bull-headed Taurus)
That its dawn chorus drove us to gin.
*****
Happy birthday to American lexicographer Noah Webster, of dictionary compilation fame. He was born October 16, 1758.
Yet Another Brassy Limerick
Monday, October 10th, 2022Most orchestra members would groan
At the principal trumpeter’s tone.
But his job was secure,
Cuz his lips held allure
For the maestro, a horny old crone.
*****
National Trumpet Day falls on October 10.
Persnickety Patron (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 5th, 2022The oatmeal you served me was stale!
And my dinner? How dare you serve kale!
The meals here don’t thrill me.
You trying to kill me?
Better not, or I’ll see you in jail!
*****
(National Kale Day falls on the first Wednesday of October.)
Half-Baked Limerick
Friday, September 30th, 2022A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”
(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)
A Dogged Quest (3-Verse Limerick)
Wednesday, September 28th, 2022A woman who wanted a pet
Became angry, perturbed, and upset:
She’d been told dog adoption
Was OUT as an option…
Cuz she spent too much time on the net.
She replied, “If the net’s bad, then why
Is your website the place we must buy
These sweet canines you say
Need a home? Still say ‘Nay?’
Any court will your ruling decry.”
Upon hearing her not-so-veiled threat,
The naysayer started to sweat.
Since his site can’t afford
To be sued, he’s on board.
Her new spaniel — Tibetan — great get!
*****
(Happy “World Pet Day” — September 28.)
Jacked By Robots (Limerick)
Monday, September 26th, 2022Today (September 26) is both Lumberjack Day and Robot Day. So it’s ironic that robots are stealing jobs from lumberjacks.
A lumberjack, dressed like a slob,
Gets fired and lets out a sob:
“I’ve been cut down to size
By a gizmo,” he cries.
“A robot has stolen my job!”
Yet Another “Punctuation Day” Limerick
Saturday, September 24th, 2022How to punctuate: That is the query.
Ill-timed marks can be irksome and dreary.
Bangs, ellipses, and dashes
Add drama in flashes.
Overuse is abusive!!! — Be leery!!!!!
(National Punctuation Day is celebrated yearly on September 24th.)
Eat A Banana? Nah! (Limerick)
Saturday, September 10th, 2022It’s “Banana Day,” giving me a great excuse to bitch about bananas. (It’s lucky that Mark and I like them at different stages of ripeness. Otherwise, they’d all end up tossed into the garbage.)
“You should eat that banana today,”
Says Mark. “Ugh, it’s TOO ripe,” I say.
“It peaked overnight.
Now it’s yours. Have a bite!
It’s perfect for you; old and gray.”
Hold The Bacon! (Limerick)
Saturday, September 3rd, 2022An Orthodox woman was shakin’;
She’d been saved by a stranger from breakin’
Sev’ral bones in a fall.
The stranger (quite tall)
Said “No handshake? I just saved your bacon.”
******
“International Bacon Day” is celebrated on the first Saturday in September each year.
Please Don’t Suggest Chess! (Limerick)
Thursday, September 1st, 2022I count “chess” among the many things I’m bad at. But to those who enjoy it, happy “American Chess Day!”
I hate losing, so playing a game
That I’m poor at feels foolish and lame,
Which is why I avoid
Playing chess. I’m annoyed
When I look like a dim-witted dame.
