A zoo worker fouled her own nest
By planting false rumors with zest;
That some birds were at large
Cuz the fellow in charge
Told the penguins: “You’re free. Go fly west.”
Posts Tagged ‘Odd Holidays’
Happy World Penguin Day (April 25) (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 25th, 2018Limerick Ode To “Take A Chance Day”
Monday, April 23rd, 2018Happy “Take A Chance Day!” (April 23)
A fellow who likes taking chances
Keeps messing up likely advances.
But despite each blown op,
He refuses to stop:
“Risks are worth it.” Yes, that’s what his stance is.
Limerick Ode To World Laboratory Day
Monday, April 23rd, 2018Happy World Laboratory Day! (April 23)
A fellow who worked in a lab
Helped discover a cure rather fab.
But alas he was bought;
He blabbed and got caught.
Now his body’s laid out on a slab.
A Good Holiday To Skip (Limerick)
Sunday, April 22nd, 2018It’s “Send Your Man Nudes Day.” Oy Vey!
Will I celebrate THAT one? No way!
I’m too old for that stuff,
So no pics in the buff!
I’ll forgo risking cyber-display.
Send Your Man Nudes Day falls on April 22 each year.
Is Age Just A Number? (Limerick)
Thursday, March 22nd, 2018Is age just a number? Who knows?
Some say “yes.” Others suff’ring the woes
Of senescence will wage
A war against age,
To disguise the “gifts” aging bestows.
Happy Age Is Just A Number Day! (March 22)
Happy French Language Day!
Tuesday, March 20th, 2018Since it’s “French Language Day…” (March 20)
I once could speak French, but no more.
All its words fled my brain, though j’adore
Their pure tone — très charmant,
Which is just what I want
In la langue. Quel dommage mine’s so poor!
Happy Genealogy Day! (Limerick)
Saturday, March 10th, 2018It’s National Genealogy Day. (2nd Saturday of March)
A woman whose quest for her roots
Revealed relatives deep in cahoots
With a killer and bandit,
Has finally canned it
And buried her fam’ly tree fruits.
Skirting Skirt-Racks (Limerick)
Saturday, March 10th, 2018Though it’s “Skirt Day,” I’d rather wear pants,
Whether walking or trying to dance.
I’ll ponder and pause,
Lest I feature my flaws —
Flaws that skirts simply love to enhance.
Happy Dress Day (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 6th, 2018“You’re moving too much. Please hold still,”
Said a seamstress while sewing a frill
On a dress that was drab
And would never be fab,
Though it WOULD yield a fabulous bill.
Happy Dress Day! (March 6)
Name-Blame (Limerick)
Sunday, March 4th, 2018It’s risky when parents show flair
In naming their child, so beware!
If you pick a bad name,
You may shoulder the blame
And the cost of a therapist’s stare.
Happy Celebrate Your Name Week (1st full week of March.)
Vet Your Doctors (Limerick)
Thursday, March 1st, 2018A doctor would frequently treat
His patients as if they were meat.
“My patients are pigs,”
He’d proclaim from his digs
Near a farm, which was piglet replete.
Happy National Pig Day!
Happy “Clashing Clothes Day!” (Limerick)
Thursday, January 25th, 2018Happy “Clashing Clothes Day!” (4th Thursday of January)
Said a gal to her spouse, with a frown:
“Tell me, why are you dressed like a clown?
Orange jacket? Green shirt?
Purple pants? My eyes hurt!
Just this once, can’t you wear solid brown?”
#ClashingClothesDay #NationalClashingClothesDay
Happy National Handbag Day (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 10th, 2017My handbag is always too small
Cuz I suffer from portable sprawl;
Seems I “need” so much junk,
Nothing short of a trunk
Could manage to handle my haul.
Happy National Handbag Day! (October 10)
A Holiday For Haiku? (Limerick)
Monday, April 17th, 2017“Haiku Poetry Day?” That sounds lame!
And redundancy’s surely to blame.
Be concise! That’s no vice;
Won’t “Haiku Day” suffice?
Terse verses deserve a short name.
Happy Haiku Poetry Day! (April 17)
Happy Quiet Day! (Limerick)
Saturday, February 25th, 2017I’d hoped that a “Quiet Day” tude
Might mend my disquieted mood.
But alas, there’s no movement —
No sign of improvement.
The culprit? That bad White House Dude!
In My Humble Opinion (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017Here’s a statement that strikes me as rot:
“I am humbled.” We hear it a lot
From pols getting named
To some honor. It’s aimed
To make them seem modest. They’re not!
Happy Be Humble Day!
Thoughtful Limerick
Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017If you’d like to come off as well read
And appear to have thoughts in your head,
Say “Je pense, donc je suis.”
One more thing, and it’s key:
Be prepared to explain what you’ve said.
Happy World Thinking Day.
A Holiday For Short Women? (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 21st, 2016I’m acknowledging “Short Girl Appreciation Day” reluctantly, because of my aversion to the word “girl” when applied to grown women. Now if they changed it to “Short Woman Appreciation Day,” I’d be a lot more enthusiastic.
Though I stand at a measly five feet,
And in height-fights I’m easy to beat,
Some assume that I’m taller;
A word-spewing brawler
Like me couldn’t be small or petite.
Me Celebrate Greasy Foods Day? Not On Your Life! (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 25th, 2016I do not understand the appeal
Of a greasy and fat-laden meal.
Yet folks by the tons
Risk getting the runs
From fried items, with heart-stopping zeal.
Happy Greasy Foods Day! (October 25)
