Posts Tagged ‘Work Humor’

Limerick Drone (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, February 24th, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And since the Oscars are on tonight, I’m offering you an alternative: In addition to your regular challenge, you may write a limerick related to the Oscars, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Oscars-related limerick.

And now, getting back to your regular Limerick-Off challenge: I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who’d constantly drone…*

or

A woman who’d constantly drone…*

or

A fellow who felt like a drone…*

or

A woman who felt like a drone…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Drone
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A salesman who’d constantly drone
Was forced to go off on his own.
Here’s the hole in his plan:
He bored ev’ry man
And each woman he pitched on the phone.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Depressing Haiku of the Day

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

Labor Day’s coming —
the jobless labor to find
cause to celebrate.

Sorry about the downer haiku. To compensate, here are two old humor columns of mine: Just In Time For Labor Day, Some Job Interview Humor and Working Stiffed.

Holiday Office Party Haiku

Saturday, December 18th, 2010

Last week I wrote a series of holiday office party haiku before and after my husband’s office Christmas party. Having survived the festivities, I figured I’d post what’s turned into a trilogy here. (Note: I added one in 2014, turning it into a quartet.)

Holiday party
At husband’s office tonight.
Note to self: Behave.

*****

Trying not to smile–
must conserve facial muscles
for office party.

*****

Friendly note from pals:
“Enjoy the office party.”
Never a good plan.

*****

Ev’ryone behaved
At the office Christmas bash.
Now safe to have fun.

(You can find more of my office party humor here.)

National Boss Day — Who Needs It?

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

One of my most important duties is to keep you abreast of important holidays like National Vodka Day, National Punctuation Day, International Limerick Day, National Grammar Day, and the subject of today’s limerick: National Boss Day.

That’s right — our poor beleaguered bosses get their own holiday on October 16th:

National Boss Day — Who Needs It? (Limerick)

For a reason I don’t comprehend
Bosses get their own day — what a trend.
A national day
When our bosses hold sway?
How silly! Such nonsense must end.

(You can find more of my employment humor here.)

Do Bosses Really Need Their Own National Holiday?

Monday, October 15th, 2007

Did you know that tomorrow, October 16th, is National Boss Day? So, are you excited yet?

I thought I’d “celebrate” National Boss Day with a pair of limericks:

Workplace Diplomacy Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Please mind your own business, I said,
To a woman whose presence I dread.
She is pushy and rude,
Rather nosy and crude.
Even worse—she’s the gal my boss wed. 

A Brief Beef
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My boss yelled, “I’ve got a big beef:
Your briefings are seldom … well … brief.
I want the essentials.
You give me tangentials.”
“So long,” I replied, with relief.

(You can find my National Bosses Day limerick here and more of my employment humor here.)

Office Politics

Monday, March 5th, 2007

Office Politics
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your career is at stake, you should know,
And you don’t want that guy as a foe.
Though his title ain’t fancy,
To mock him is chancy:
That fellow’s the president’s beau. 

Parental Proposal

Monday, August 14th, 2006

The “help wanted” pages are filled with job descriptions that defy comprehension. This probably explains why so many parents can’t quite figure out what it is their children do for a living. And it can lead to parental queries like this one from my mother-in-law to my husband Mark:

“Tell me exactly what your job is. Go slowly. I have to write it down.”

Mark hadn’t switched employers or secured a promotion; he’s been doing essentially the same work for ten years. So why the sudden curiosity? Because his parents recently attended a wedding packed with inquisitive relatives. Relatives who appeared to be more interested in Mark’s career than they were in the bride and groom. …

Parental Proposal is continued here.)

Those Unspeakable Meetings

Wednesday, August 9th, 2006

Do men and women communicate differently at work? Yes, according to proponents of the “men and women are from different galaxies” school of thought. Women are said to be self-effacing and apologetic. Men, on the other hand, are described as convincingly confident … even when they don’t have the slightest idea what they’re talking about.

Such generalizations can be dangerous, of course, and sometimes downright wrong. For instance I … forgive me for saying so … am a woman and I … uh … probably shouldn’t brag about this, but I … on admittedly rare occasions … sometimes manage to appear … uh … completely self-assured and … well … I probably shouldn’t waste your time on such a personal matter. In any event, I’m probably wrong.

Communication differences can be especially pronounced during business meetings. Especially those mind-numbingly “important” meetings where a gaggle of men and women perch and/or slouch around a conference table and discuss critical company issues like new products, marketing budgets, company picnics, and football scores. … (Those Unspeakable Meetings is continued here.)

Working Stiffed

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006

Finding a new job can be a daunting challenge. But if you follow my simple 21-step plan, you’ll soon be battling cranky alarm clocks, rush-hour traffic, and the “living for the weekend” daily grind.

1. Lose job.

2. Panic, freak out, and turn into a pulsating blob of hysteria. CAUTION: It’s best to do this at home — you’ll be wanting that reference.

3. Torture everyone you’ve ever met with your tale of woe. Bitch about your former boss, your boss’ boss, your lousy luck, the manipulative coworker who stole your job, the economy, and, of course, the world as we know it. Seriously consider buying a voodoo doll.

4. Perfect the art of sleeping late, parading about in slatternly garb, and doing absolutely nothing. Tell your spouse you spent the entire week working on your resume. When spouse says “Let me have a look,” say you’re still fine-tuning it.

5. Start working on resume. … (Working Stiffed is continued here.)