Archive for the ‘House & Home Humor’ Category
Saturday, April 29th, 2017
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Made or Maid at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to Intelligence, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Intelligence-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 14, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 13, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Berating his maid, the man brayed:
“Just why is my bed still unmade?
Your house-cleaning sucks,
And I pay you big bucks.
Lucky thing I already got laid!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Domestic Help, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Maids Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Sex Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 87 Comments »
Thursday, April 6th, 2017
This is how my brother Arthur’s birthday began today, translated by me into a 3-verse limerick:
Loud sounds woke you up with a fright.
Did a drummer come visit at night?
Seems your exercise pool
Somehow drained. A mere drool
Of water is left. What a sight!
Even worse, it has emptied indoors,
And that noise is your pump at its chores.
Now you MUST figure out
How to stop it without
A bad shock. When it rains, it sure pours.
I’m so sorry your birthday began
In a manner you never would plan.
Happy birthday, dear bro!
I wrote this to show
There’s a way to make home mishaps scan.
Happy birthday, Arthur!
Tags: Appliances Limerick, Arthur Begun, Birthday Celebrations, Birthday Greetings Humor, Birthday Humor, Birthday Limerick, Brother Humor, Pool Humor, Swimming Humor
Posted in House & Home Humor, Limericks, Personal | Comments Off on Birthday Misadventure (3-verse Limerick)
Wednesday, January 18th, 2017
We lost power. It’s fixed, but I gird
For another bad outage. My word!
It’s a jerry-rigged mend!
Will it break, or just bend
If descended upon by a bird?
Author’s Note: We lost power last night, shortly after midnight, and were the first to call Con Ed. (Apparently our neighbors go to sleep early.)
Con Ed came quickly to assess the situation and then sent back a larger crew. And 9 or 10 hours later we had a temporary repair — a couple of wires tied to trees, stretched precariously from one house to another across the street.
The temp fix doesn’t look like it could withstand even a minor winter storm, and the real repair isn’t scheduled until February 6th. Yes that’s 2.5 weeks from now. So all fingers and toes are duly crossed.
Tags: Bird Humor, Electric Power, Electricity Limerick, Power Outage, Winter Humor, Winter Limerick
Posted in House & Home Humor, Limericks, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | Comments Off on Disempowered (Limerick)
Saturday, October 1st, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GRIND at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to AUTUMN, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best AUTUMN-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 16, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 15, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A gal who was always behind
In her chores, said her spouse did not mind:
“My gifts in the sack
Make up for this lack.
I excel at a far diff’rent grind.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Competition Limerick, Household Chores, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Sex Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Contests, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 78 Comments »
Monday, April 25th, 2016
Dear plumber, your ass crack ain’t pretty.
To be honest, it’s looking quite gritty.
So we’re begging you: “Please,
“If you’re feeling a breeze,
“Pull your pants up.” — The Owners’ Committee.
April 25 is Hug A Plumber Day.
Tags: April Holidays, House & Home, House Repairs, Hug A Plumber Day, Odd Holidays, Plumber Humor, Plumber Limerick
Posted in House & Home Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Plumbers Everywhere
Saturday, April 25th, 2015
Hug A Plumber Day? Why?!? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Whenever I deal with a plumber,
It’s rather a strain and a bummer.
As problems keep flowing,
My agita’s growing.
I’ve a leak that’s seen more than one summer.
April 25 is Hug A Plumber Day.
Tags: April Holidays, House & Home, House Repairs, Hug A Plumber Day, Odd Holidays, Plumber Humor, Plumber Limerick
Posted in House & Home Humor, Limericks, Odd Holdays | Comments Off on Hug A Plumber Day? Why?!? (April 25)
Monday, August 18th, 2014
What sort of burglar sends stolen jewelry to a newspaper, complaining that the stuff he stole from a socialite turned out to be fake?
Limerick Ode To A Petty Thief (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bad luck has befallen this snake,
Who’s upset by his jew’lry heist take!
His chagrin is immense
Cuz he called on his fence
And was told that his haul was all fake.
UPDATE: National Jewel Day is March 13th.
Tags: Jewelry Day, March Holidays, National Jewelry Day, Odd Holidays
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, House & Home Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To A Petty Thief (Limerick)
Monday, June 23rd, 2014
Not “In The Pink” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow would frequently sprawl
On the couch as he cursed at the wall.
How he fumed! His complaint
Was its bright color paint:
“Yummy Pink” was his wife’s tasteless call.
Happy National Pink Day!
Tags: House & Home, House Painting Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, June Holidays, National Pink Day, Odd Holidays, Pink Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, June 11th, 2014
Limerick Ode To The Stove
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A stove is a handy device.
For cooking, some say, it works nice.
I can’t speak to that fact,
For I don’t interact
Well with kitchens. I can, though, boil rice.
Today in Kitchen History: On June 11, 1793, Robert Haeterick was granted the first American stove patent for a stove design of cast iron.
Tags: Food Humor, Food Verse, Inventions Poem, Inventors, Kitchen Limerick, Patent Humor, Rice, Robert Haeterick, Robert Heterick, Science Advances, Science Humor, Stove Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Science Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, June 4th, 2014
Limerick Ode To The Shopping Cart
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sylvan Goldman designed something smart;
He invented the food shopping cart.
With its basket, it aids
In a task that pervades
All our lives — buying stuff at the mart.
On June 4, 1937, Humpty Dumpty supermarket chain owner Sylvan Goldman introduced his invention, the shopping cart, in Oklahoma City.
The invention did not catch on immediately. Men found them effeminate; women found them suggestive of a baby carriage. “I’ve pushed my last baby buggy,” offended women informed him. After hiring several male and female models to push his new invention around his store and demonstrate their utility, as well as greeters to explain their use, his folding-style shopping carts became extremely popular and Goldman became a multimillionaire by collecting a royalty on every folding design shopping cart in the United States.
Tags: Errands Humor, Household Chores, Humpty Dumpty, Inventions Poem, June Holidays, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Shopping Verse, Supermarket Aisles, Sylvan Goldman
Posted in Chores Humor, Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Shopping Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To The Shopping Cart
Saturday, May 31st, 2014
Limerick Ode To Flowering Weeds
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our neighbor insists we should weed
And refuses to even concede
That a weed can have beauty.
That gal is too snooty.
Methinks that her soul’s gone to seed.
Tags: Beauty Limerick, Household Chores, Lawn Humor, Neighbors Humor, Outdoors Humor, Weeding Humor
Posted in Chores Humor, Gardens / Plant Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Neighbors Humor, Outdoors Humor | 6 Comments »
Thursday, April 17th, 2014
Happy “Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day!” Yes there’s really such a day, though I’m pretty sure this isn’t what they’re talking about:
Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man with a habit of peeping
Into homes while their owners are sleeping
Was arrested and tried.
His appeal’s been denied.
Now he’s jailed for his neighbors’ safekeeping.
Tags: April Holidays, Crime, Criminals, Jail & Prison Humor, Neighborly Humor, Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day, Odd Holidays, Peeping Toms
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, House & Home Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Neighbors Humor, Obsessions Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day (Limerick)
Thursday, February 27th, 2014
Foreign News Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s so windy, I have to go out:
Foreign papers are scattered about.
Though I clean up our yard,
It’s soon once again scarred.
This paper route’s making me pout.
True story: This afternoon, I look out our living room window and see that our front lawn is strewn with newspapers. It’s a windy day, and a neighbor’s Korean (I think) newspaper has apparently made a run for it.
I immediately stop what I’m doing and go outdoors to contend with the litter. Why the big rush? Because New York City Sanitation workers just love to peruse neighborhoods during windstorms, so they can give out messy-lawn citations.
Ten minutes after I finish, I look out the window once again, only to find that it looks like I never dealt with the garbage. So I go out once again, this time picking up similar-looking papers from the neighbors on either side of me, as well.
No, I won’t take credit for being a Good Samaritan. This was purely defensive.
It was only a matter of time before my neighbors’ messes decided they like my lawn better.
Tags: Garbage Humor, Home Ownership, Lawn Humor, Neighbors Humor, New York City, Sanitation Verse, Weather Poem, Wind
Posted in Chores Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, December 17th, 2013
Another Snow Job (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mark, thanks for shov’ling today.
If you hadn’t, that snow’d surely stay
Until I did the chore,
A job I abhor.
It’s more fun to make limerick hay.
Tags: Home Ownership, Poetry Humor, Seasonal Verse, Shoveling Snow, Snow Poetry, Weather Humor, Weather Poem, Winter Humor, Writers
Posted in Chores Humor, House & Home Humor, Marriage Humor, Outdoors Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, March 11th, 2013
I’m celebrating National Worship Of Tools Day (March 11th) with this limerick:
Happy Worship Of Tools Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“If only I had the right tool!”
That’s my husband’s pet phrase, as a rule,
Fueled by trying a fix
With his personal mix
Of chewing gum, tape, and some drool.
Tags: Home Repair Humor, House Repairs, Household tools, Husband Humor, March Holidays, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Limerick, Spousal Humor, Spouse Limerick, Tools Limerick, Worship Of Tools Day
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Chores Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on Happy “Worship Of Tools Day” (Limerick)
Sunday, February 3rd, 2013
The Perils Of Super Bowl Fare (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My blood nearly came to a boil,
As our microwave flamed. Was it oil?
We stopped it in time,
And Mark’s wings were sublime.
Lesson learned: They come wrapped up in foil.
(While engrossed in the game, hubby Mark absent-mindedly put his box of Pizza Hut chicken wings in the microwave. Bad idea!)
Tags: Absent-minded Husbands, Aluminum Foil, Appliances Limerick, Chicken Wings, Fire, Food Humor, Food Verse, Football Humor, Kitchen, Kitchen Limerick, Microwave Humor, NFL, Sports Humor, Super Bowl Sunday
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor, Sports Humor | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, January 9th, 2013
Just when you think a problem is unsolvable, a creative company comes up with a solution. I’m referring, of course, to Smarter Socks which, we’re told, “makes sorting socks child’s play” through “interaction between the socks with a communication button, the Sock Sorter and an iPhone app.”
What would Seinfeld have to say about this?
There’s An App For WHAT??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you find that your socks keep cavorting
And consorting with strangers, your sorting
Can be helped with an app:
Smarter Socks fill the gap
When your laundering skills need supporting.
UPDATE: Alternatively, you could ditch the app and celebrate No Socks Day 365 days a year.
Tags: Clothing Poem, Computer Software, Computer Verse, Fashion Verse, Hosiery Limerick, Household Chores, Inventions Poem, iPhone Apps Humor, Jerry Seinfeld, Laundry Humor, May Holidays, Men's Fashion, No Socks Day, Odd Holidays, Odd Inventions, Smarter Socks, Sorting Socks Humor, Technology Humor, Underwear Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Fashion Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Odd Trends, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | 7 Comments »
Sunday, January 6th, 2013
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman would frequently claim…*
or
A fellow would frequently claim…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Claim
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gambler would frequently claim
That his friends and his spouse were to blame
For his being a louse
And losing his house.
Shifting guilt for misdeeds was his game.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Gambling Limerick, Gambling Verse, House & Home, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Spousal Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Gambling & Gaming Humor, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 103 Comments »
Wednesday, June 6th, 2012
Poetic Asides prompts us to write poems about camping. As you can see, I’m not exactly a roughing-it kind of gal:
Camp-Free Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m reluctant to rough it outside.
I need comforts a house can provide.
I’m too timid to camp,
But at home I’m a champ
Where mosquitoes can’t feast on my hide.
Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.
Tags: August Holidays, Camping Humor, Creature Comforts, House & Home, Insect and Bug Humor, Insect Bites, Leisure Time Humor, Mosquito Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, World Mosquito Day
Posted in Behavior & Personality, House & Home Humor, Insect Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, April 17th, 2012
Are you all ready for National Pet Owners Independence Day?
A gal who’d been cleaning was jarred
By some leaves just dragged in from her yard.
Displaying a broom,
She yelled, “Sweep up this room!”
To her dog. (Guess she’s working too hard.)
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, April Holidays, Backyard, Dog Verse, Dogs Humor, Household Chores, Household tools, Pet Owners, Pet Owners Independence Day, Spring Cleaning, Stress Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Chores Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 6 Comments »
