Posts Tagged ‘Music Humor & Verse’

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RACE or ERASE at the end of any one line

Saturday, March 9th, 2019

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RACE or ERASE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CONDUCTORS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CONDUCTOR-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 24, 2019 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 23, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

Though his conduct has been a disgrace,
He’s reformed and he hopes to erase
His transgressions from searches,
Cuz Google besmirches;
He’s harmed by each truth-telling trace.

And here’s my conductor limerick:

When audience members still cheer
A conductor whose meter’s unclear
And whose gestures and cues
Mislead and confuse,
Count on this: He looks cute from the rear.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

More Life With Mark and Madeleine

Tuesday, February 19th, 2019

Life With Mark and Madeleine:

Mark: Which band is this?

Madeleine: Damn! I need a hint.

Mark: If I phrase it differently, I’ll give it away.

Madeleine: What a great hint!

Mark: What???

Madeleine: No, “Who!”

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SCORE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Sunday, October 11th, 2015

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SCORE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A singer was trying to score
With a woman who thought him a bore.
Though he tried to impress her,
He’d never undress her
Cuz hearing his voice was a chore.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A Plea On International Music Day (Limerick)

Thursday, October 1st, 2015

Happy International Music Day. (October 1)

Dear radio station, don’t pander;
Kindly program your music with candor.
Though I’d rather not carp
And I hate to sound sharp,
Calling “country harp” classical’s slander.

Tempestuous Limerick

Sunday, August 23rd, 2015

Tempestuous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A pianist stormed off with a frown,
When told by his prof to slow down:
“Your presto’s too speedy,
Your phrasing is seedy,
And the Tempest theme’s starting to drown.”

Happy “Champagne Day” (August 4)

Tuesday, August 4th, 2015

It’s Champagne Day — not that I need an excuse to drink champagne … or write silly limericks:

A flutist who’s fond of champagne
Trills “Vintage!” — a chilling refrain.
Dating rich, shady guys
For their bank account size,
She loves swilling their ill-gotten gain.

Limerick Ode To Bagpipe Appreciation Day (July 27)

Monday, July 27th, 2015

Limerick Ode To Bagpipe Appreciation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A spy was perturbed by the drone
From some bagpipes, a mind-numbing tone.
Though he wanted to pound
The source of that sound,
He held back, lest his cover be blown.

Sundry Haiku

Saturday, July 11th, 2015

I’d like the freedom
to not write haiku today,
but my brain insists.

*****

I am at the stage
where I like being on stage
with or without one.

*****

My near-rhyme rejects
turned limerick leftovers
find homes in haiku.

*****

I’m often impressed
by the drawing power
of unknown painters.

*****

Forgive and forget?
I keep meaning to forgive,
but I forget to.

*****

Your belief system
makes you feel superior?
Then it’s failing you.

*****

My muse goes yonder
as I wander in wonder
at time I squander.

*****

Spiders and crawlers
are welcome in my domain
if sent by Google.

*****

I should have prepared
for extemporization
but ran out of time.

*****

Music needs pauses;
I get restless when a piece
doesn’t have any.

*****

Neighborly Blues (Limerick)

Monday, June 1st, 2015

Neighborly Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was sweeping his leaves
While belting some recitatives.
“Quell that noise,” said a neighbor.
“Your mis-Handeled labor
Could well be jays lodged in your eaves.”

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BONE or TROMBONE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Saturday, May 30th, 2015

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either BONE or TROMBONE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

I often enjoy the trombone
When its notes are well-played and not blown.
But I loathe being hit
By trombone-player spit.
For their slobber, it’s time to atone.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SLIDE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Saturday, April 25th, 2015

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SLIDE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

The trombonist begged,”Please let this slide.”
But the band leader’s answer was snide:
“You’re banned from my band
Cuz I simply can’t stand
Any man who makes time with my bride.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STICK at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5 (Deadline: April 18)

Saturday, April 4th, 2015

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using STICK at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner on April 19, right before I post the next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 18 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

The conductor was wielding his stick,
While screaming: “The strings are too quick,
And the woodwinds are slow.”
This made double reeds blow;
Yelled the oboe, “You don’t know a lick!”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Virtuoso

Wednesday, January 7th, 2015

Limerick Virtuoso
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A famed violin virtuoso
Said his student’s performance was “so-so.”
“You were NOT even there,”
She replied in despair.
The response from her prof: “I just know so.”

(Inspired by Merriam-Webster Word of the Day – VIRTUOSO)

View my Virtuoso Limerick image here.

Grand Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, December 7th, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow’s delusions were grand…*

or

A woman had hopes that were grand…*

or

A fellow had paid fifty grand…*

or

A pianist was playing her grand…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Grand Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A musician whose plans had been grand
Was canned from his gig with a band.
Though his playing was fly,
They told him “Goodbye,
You’re too cute, which is bad for our brand.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Happy Birthday To “Happy Birthday” (Limerick)

Friday, June 27th, 2014

Okay, this isn’t a major holiday, but still…

Happy Birthday To “Happy Birthday” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Happy Birthday To You” has a birthday.
Yes, today is its notable mirth day.
But “Good Morning To All”
Was its lyric. Don’t bawl!
I’ll concede it’s less key than, say, “Earth Day.”

The song “Happy Birthday To You” has a strange and complicated history. Its melody was first published on June 27, 1893 as “Good Morning to All,” with lyrics that have nothing to do with birthdays. And its copyright ownership has been the subject of numerous lawsuits. Despite its advanced age, it somehow remains under copyright protection.

Limerick Beau (Limerick-Off Monday)

Saturday, May 17th, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman broke up with her beau…*

or

A fellow who’d once been the beau…*

or

A gal tied her hair in a bow…*

or

A musician was buying a bow…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Beau
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A singer broke up with her beau
After learning he’d done something low:
He’d poked fun at her pitch,
Which compelled her to ditch
Him for somebody less in the know.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Joyous Ode To Beethoven’s Ninth

Wednesday, May 7th, 2014

Joyous Ode To Beethoven’s Ninth
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Ludwig’s final symphony
On May the 7th first was played.
1824’s the year
That music history was made.

Many critics called it “monstrous,”
“Tasteless” swipes undeftly writ.
Audiences felt its joy,
And that’s about the size of it.

(I was trying to be subtle. But apparently, most people need a sound track to get what it is that I was doing in that poem. Sigh…. So, now that I’ve officially forsworn further attempts at subtlety, here’s a sing-along version of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy.)

Fun With Song Titles

Friday, March 7th, 2014

Here are my entries in the Washington Post Style Invitational’s “add some words in parentheses” to a song title contest:

Let It Snow (Somewhere Else)

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (That Don’t Require A Restraining Order)

The Tide is High (Because You Over-Filled The Washing Machine)

(Optometrists Warn Us) Don’t Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes

(Why The Heck Would You Garnish My Martini With A) Peppermint Twist

(I Didn’t Say I Like You) Just the Way You Are (I Said I Like You Just The Way You Were)

I’ll Dance at Your Wedding (If You Guarantee Tips)

(Message) I Care

Guitar Polka (Has To Be Better Than Accordion Polka)

Bridge Over Troubled Water (In New Jersey)

It’s Time to Pay the Fiddler (Cuz He’s Threatening To Strike)

Livin’ on a Prayer (Cuz My Food Stamps Were Cut)

(I Have A Headache, So Don’t) Play that Funky Music

(How I Wish Our House Came With A) Handyman

On Second Thought (I Don’t Take You To Be My Lawfully Wedded Wife)

He’ll Have to Go (To The Bathroom)

Accentuate the Positive (If You Can Find Any)

(I’m Going To Hold My Breath) Until You Come Back to Me (That’s What I’m Gonna Do)

One Bad Apple (Will Ruin Your Pie)

Remember The Time (Our Wedding Is Supposed To Start)

What’s She Doing Now (And How Much Has She Had To Drink)

(You Don’t Deserve A) Good Hearted Woman

To All The girls I’ve Loved Before (I Have Some Really Bad News)

(Pay Your Movie Streaming Bill Or) Get Off Of My Cloud

One Way Or Another (I’ll Win This Contest)

You can find the entertaining winners list (which doesn’t include me) here.

Fun With Song Lyrics

Friday, November 29th, 2013

A recent Washington Post Style Invitational contest challenged us to “quote a song title or a line from a song and supply a question that that line might answer.”

I had a lot of fun with that contest, even though I didn’t win anything. Here’s what I submitted:

1) Yes sir, yes sir: Three bags full.
“Did you bring the cash?” — Congressman to Lobbyist

(Baa Baa Black Sheep)

2) Big Bad John.
Who’s the worst Speaker ever?

(Big Bad John)

3) Just Go Away!
“What do you want me to do?” — Obama to Republican leadership

(Just Go Away)

4) The candy man can.
Who can get me coke, quick?

(The Candy Man)

5) Get off of my cloud!
What message do you get when you’ve forgotten to pay your movie streaming bill?

(Get Off Of My Cloud)

6) Spacious skies.
What’s the upside of homelessness?

(America, The Beautiful)

7) Shady Lane.
What’s K Street’s nickname?

(The Naughty Lady of Shady Lane)

8) Doesn’t really matter to me.
How do Republican pols view unemployment?

(Bohemian Rhapsody)

9) Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.
“What happens if I don’t find a husband?”

(Hush, Little Baby)

10) That’s what it’s all about!
Can’t you think about anything besides money?

(The Hokey Pokey)

11) All the girls I’ve loved before.
Why so many paternity tests?

(To All The girls I’ve Loved Before)

12) No more tears!
What do embarrassed Republicans keep saying to John Boehner?

(No More Tears)

13) Girls just want to have fun.
Why shouldn’t a woman be president?

(Girls Just Want To Have Fun)

14) It’s only make believe.
What do nay-sayers say about global warming?

(It’s Only Make Believe)

15) I’m leaving it up to you.
What do Republicans never say to women?

(I’m Leaving It Up to You)

16) I’m gonna be your number one.
What are your plans for 2016, Senator Paul?

(The Tide Is High)

17) I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha!
“What are you planning?” — Obama to Republican leadership

(One Way Or Another)

Motherly Angst (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

Motherly Angst (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A mom at the end of her rope
Said “It’s hopeless! I simply can’t cope.
Both the food and the band
Appear to be canned.
The rest of my kids must elope!”

Happy Mother’s Day!