Posts Tagged ‘Family & Relatives Humor’

Happy Brothers Day! (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 24th, 2016

Oh brother! It’s Brothers Day. Wow!
I’ve got me a good one. And how!
With a heart off the chart
Arthur (now known as Art)
Is unrivaled. Please Art, take a bow.

Brothers Day (May 24) is actually meant to celebrate the bond between brothers. But since I missed Brother And Sister Day on March 26, and Siblings Day on April 10, this will have to do.

Limerick Ode To Greedy Stores

Tuesday, November 25th, 2014

Limerick Ode To Greedy Stores
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Don’t reward greedy, cynical stores
For behaving like gluttonous whores:
If they’re open on days
Like Thanksgiving, it pays
To shop elsewhere. Don’t walk through their doors!

******
A Companion Haiku:

Stores, be on notice:
Open doors on Thanksgiving?
Brace for a boycott.

******

Limerick For National Rum Day

Saturday, August 16th, 2014

Happy National Rum Day! (August 16)

Limerick For National Rum Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal called her husband a lout
And threatened to highball it out
If he kept drinking rum.
He at first was struck dumb,
Then obligingly switched up to stout.

Happy National Rum Day (Limerick)

Friday, August 16th, 2013

Happy National Rum Day! (August 16)

Happy National Rum Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man was balled out out by his mum,
Who told him to stop making rum.
“That’s my bus’ness,” he said.
“It’s my butter and bread.”
But he chewed on it. Now he makes gum.

A Fishy Tale (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 6th, 2013

Yesterday, when I posted this anecdote about my mother-in-law on Facebook, several friends urged me to turn it into a limerick. And so, I’ve done just that. (My limerick is right below the anecdote.)

True story: Sunday night, Mark kept anxiously re-dialing his elderly mother. When she finally answered, her voice sounded very upset as she said, “A terrible thing happened.” Then she paused, as Mark’s heart skipped several beats.

His mother’s next words were: “They stopped making my salmon.”

(She was referring to her favorite canned salmon, which actually is still available, but was out of stock in the two stores she’d been to.)

And now, the limerick:

A Fishy Tale (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Something awful has happened,” she cried,
And then paused. We thought someone had died.
That’s Mark’s mom at her best:
Her horror expressed
About salmon no longer supplied.

Regifting Gone Wrong (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 19th, 2012

Here’s a 2-verse limerick to celebrate National Regifting Day (3rd Thursday of December.)

Regifting Gone Wrong
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was trying to sift
Through items to maybe regift.
But alas, she confused
The stuff she perused.
I suspect that some folks will be miffed.

A fruitcake went back to the sender,
And the same thing occurred with a blender.
Then a gift from her brother
Got sent to her mother.
Her relationships now need a mender.

Gunning For Father Of The Year? (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 10th, 2012

Taking your baby son with you when visiting a hooker is probably unwise:

A man in Tuscaloosa may be charged with child endangerment after taking along his nine month old son during a meeting with a prostitute.

Once inside the motel room, another man entered and a fight broke out. Shots were fired while the baby was in the room, and a bullet grazed the father’s head.

Gunning For Father Of The Year?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear dads, if your kid’s under one,
And you’re looking for prostitute fun,
A sitter’s a must;
Else forget about lust,
Or be labeled a son of a gun.

Mad Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Saturday, August 27th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who felt she’d been had…

or

A fellow who felt she’d been had…

Here’s mine:

Mad Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who felt she’d been had
Was incredibly angry — yes mad.
She’d been promised promotion
For work and devotion.
But her boss gave the job to his dad.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Just In Time For Father’s Day

Saturday, June 18th, 2011

Father’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Do not argue with me,” said the dad
To his son, who was making him mad.
“You are too disputatious,
Your point is fallacious,
And…” “Huh?” said the four-year-old lad.

Hoping For Humor (Sundry Verse)

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

Today I’ve written four poems on a theme called hope. There’s a pair of quatrains, one haiku, and a limerick — something for everyone, or no one, as the case may be:

Hope springs eternal—
a “truism” some speak.
Yes, hope springs eternal,
until it springs a leak.

*****

Alexander Pope
wrote about hope.
His eternal quote
helps some folks cope.

*****

Showing up to vote—
a yearly exercise in
unrequited hope.

*****

A gal who is often caught moping
And is terribly dreadful at coping
Drives her family mad.
Things have gotten so bad,
That they’re hoping to hear she’s eloping.

*****

(Inspired by Haiku Wednesday’s hope prompt and Poets United quotation prompt. For more optimistic poems see Friday Poetically.)

Healthy Limerick

Monday, February 14th, 2011

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman was on a campaign…

Here’s mine:

Healthy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was on a campaign
Which was driving her fam’ly insane.
Yes, her new “smart health” diet
Kept causing a riot:
Each dinner she served featured brain.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Frazzled Limerick Limerick Audio

Sunday, October 31st, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A frazzled new father named Jim…

Here’s mine:

Frazzled Limerick (Frazzled Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A frazzled new father named Jim
Bought his baby toy trains on a whim.
When his wife saw the gift,
She was terribly miffed,
So she yelled, “That’s for you. What’s for him?”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Update: May 2 is Baby Day.

Family Business

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who worked for her dad…

Here’s mine:

Family Business
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who worked for her dad
Sure needed that job really bad.
Though she did have a skill,
Most employers don’t thrill
At a waitress who’s mastered her Strad.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Update: Happy National Waiters and Waitresses Day! (May 21)

Update 2: Happy National Violin Day! (December 13)

Married To Money

Saturday, June 16th, 2007

Married To Money
By Madeleine Begun Kane

He’s a cheapskate, so stingy with cash,
That he threw an embarrassing bash:
When his daughter was wed
He paid eight bucks a head,
So no band, booze, or blooms — only hash.

I have lots more money humor here.  And don’t forget to enter my money-themed limerick contest with money prizes. Okay, not a lot of money, but still…